Normalize talking about the abuse & the #Trauma you’ve experienced. If it’s easy for you to say someone was nice to you, it should be just as easy for you to say someone abused you & treated you badly. The toxic shame is not yours to carry.
If we’re only as sick as the secrets we keep, then survivors of #abuse need to know it’s not our job to hold the secrets & shame of what our abusers did to us. It’s our job to heal, & if talking about the abuse helps, then we have the right to scream it from the rooftops.
The inversion of this is to keep the shame inside us us, to feel bad for talking about it, to feel like we should be over it & we’re somehow flawed b/c we’re not. Trauma stores inside your body & it takes work to process it, & talking about it is one of the ways to release it.
To keep it inside of you means you’re carrying a burden that’s not yours to carry. If you feel any shame/guilt for speaking about the abuse you’ve endured, forgive yourself for whatever you may have allowed to continue & then give the rest of it back to your abuser.
We can “give it back” through processing w/ a therapist, friends or even publicly. The idea is to transmute the abuse by speaking about it & receiving validation instead of shame for talking about it. The more we get it out—the more we relieve the toxic burden we are carrying.
You must talk to safe people about it & people who can validate it for you. If you are going to talk about it publicly, please know there are abusive, unhealed people who will project back onto you & you have to be prepared to hold the line & sustain your reality—you were abused.
If you were a child, you had zero choice in the matter. It is a day of soul reckoning to realize the responsibility for the abuse is on your abuser but the responsibility for healing is on you. Just do not carry the toxic shame of your abusers—that’s on them. You go be free.
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