,
46 tweets,
4 min read
Read on Twitter
my dude looks like he's on the third date with that bubble o'bill and the conversation has been... intriguing
nice that my guy took time away from asking to speak to your manager to make sweet love to this icecream
my man looks like he forgot his sunnies and is staring straight into the solar eclipse
sweet boy here loves depriving workers of their rights almost as much as he loves jessica mauboy's cover of fall at your feet
Nice to see that my man has finally learnt to consume food without his mum’s help
good to see my boy has recovered from the psychological trauma that comes with years of bedwetting
my sweet dude has finally come out of hibernation out of a long winter.
we really should stop but it's great that the love child of tony abbott and bronwyn bishop dressed himself for the first time this morning
only thing that excites this big fella more than a sale at tarocash is deepthroating dairy
to date, my man has lived solely on a diet of wonderwhite and iSnack 2.0. good to see him diversify today
my boy grazed his ear falling off an o-bike last week
if there's one thing my dude hates more than workers it's people who criticised that stingray for killing steve irwin
my boy forgot to iron his shirt because he was too busy getting hot and heavy about the Laffer curve
in all seriousness, it's good to see my guy's pursuing hobbies outside of whispering delicate secrets to the bin chickens
dude thinks sydney's night life is extremely cool and groovy
old mate thinks rugby is the sport they plan in heaven
good luck to my guy for his first day at big school
(sweet kid still calls it little lunch)
but heck! good to see that special cream finally worked its magic on my boy's pinkeye
we should log off but we're just so excited about our boy's debut as the mayor of munchkin city
my dude's still upset about missing out on chess captain at the school for kids who can't read good and want to do other stuff good too
excuse my boy's dry eyes - he watched Big Bang Theory with director's commentary until 3am last night
Only think my guy enjoys more than denigrating hardworking Australians is yelling "taxi!" when someone drops a glass
Sorry about any spelling mistakes. just so thrilled my dude finally got his first kiss!
so sorry for the break folks we were sourcing quotes for having our boy's placenta made into cufflinks for his 16th birthday
my man and his teddies hold daily funerals for each of his dollars lost to tax
my dude yells 'ye BOI' and high-fives his mum every time his homemade gifs of stabbing workers get a like on reddit
the bags under my guy's eyes are full of 'disappeared' communists
good news! old mate consoles himself about getting edited out of the coalition for marriage ad with a cheeky ice lolly
i wonder if my man's proud that he was the inspo for the demogorgon
little sweet boy loves making papier mache models for his daddy out of ripped up EBAs
my man has a low to average sperm count following a lifetime of living under power lines
dude has been scared of factory workers ever since they sang that very mean song about Augustus Gloop
drugs? no thanks. my guy is high on life and the unhappiness of workers' families when they're forced to accept a 46% pay cut.
my dude only flies qatar because there’s nothing better than knowing your hostie can’t join a union but has to pour you another juice
My dude pretends to do the Samurai Sudoku every Saturday but just writes the number 6 in every box
bloke looks like he traffics his staffers’ organs on the dark web
great to get my invite to my boy’s 12th birthday party at the registered organisations commission HQ
we should log off we’re just so excited to see our boy become the next brand ambassador for crocs
My dude has not made direct eye contact with anyone since they cancelled Hey Hey It’s Saturday
but don't be too hard on him - my boy's still sad after losing that robotics comp when he programmed it to slap his cheeks like mum used to
my dude looks edward cullen in ‘twilight: 50 years later’ when he’s washed up and has alienated everyone he once loved
forgive his tired eyes - boy has been on eBay all day searching for "that suit Alan Jones was wearing on Q&A"
we really should take a break but just let me say i’m proud as bunch my sweet boy child has graduated from floaties to a boogie board
aw man, gotta go - my boy's about to serenade me playing the flute he made out of his dried umbilical cord.
Goodnight. Have a #streetsfreesummer. 
