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Cash! @CashDeCuir
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For every like this gets, I'll write one grenade bark.

I am sure I'll never regret this.
(For reference! A grenade bark is when a character in a game yells out something to alert you to a grenade.)
1: Grenade!
2: Duck!
3: Take cover!
4: Watch out!
5: Oh shit - where's my grenade?!
6: Nade!
7: Everybody out!
8: Oh no! Grenade!
9: It's gonna blow!
10: Hit the dirt!
11: Live one!
12: Clear the area!
13: Vacate the zone!
14: You wanna live? Then run!
15: That looks like a grenade.
16: Does anybody know what a grenade sounds like?
17: Ah-ha! I have thrown a grenade at you!
18: Did you heart that? Ah shit.
19: I've thrown myself onto the grenade! Somebody get Madame President to---
20: Somebody's given us their grenade, boys!
21: Wot wot, a grenade? That's just not cricket!
22: That's not a coconut. It's a grenade!
23: Looks like Santa came early!
24: God have mercy -- grenade!
25: Don't think, just run!
((Jesus wept, what have I done.

I need to make dinner and finish a bit of contract work, but I'll return. I'm in it now. Also --)

26: Jesus wept, it's a grenade!
((A few more, while my potato is in the oven.))

27: Hot potato!
28: Eyes on the spud!
29: I say, isn't that a grenade? Tut.
30: Run. Run!
31: Run away!
32: Head for the hills!
33: Get out of Dodge!
34: Dodge!
35: The grenade holds no fear. Only powder and shrapnel.
36: What do we do when we see a grenade?
37: It's a grenade!
38: Grenade? Pah! That's a candy apple!
39: Ah hell -- get ready to wake up, boys!
40: Anyone drop a grenade?
41: Unless you want a Purple Heart, run!
42: Boogie outta here!
43: Everybody split!
44: Amscray!
45: Scram!
46: Scramble!
47: I'm only one week out from finishing my tour!

((At least, I'd run if a squad-mate said that in a game. I know the tricks.))
48: Get behind something!
49: Grenade! Looks like the lunch lady's serving breakfast late today.
50: Scoot!
52: Holy hand grenade!
53: Someone's sent an invitation to Hell!
54: Soviet Spud -- run!
55: Beat feet!
((One more for now, then I finish work and eat my potato.))

56: Arrrg! There be a grenade on deck, matey, arrrgh.
57: Crikey, it's a nade! What a beaut 'at one is!
58: Oi, guv! Watch out for that bucking parade!
59: Greeeeeeeeeeeeeennnnnnnnnnnaaaaaaaaaaaaaaadddddddddddeeeeeeeeeee!
60: Grenade! Goddamn, how many do they have?
61: Grenade! They must be running low by now!
62: If I see another grenade, I'm going to -- oh, come on!
63: G-g-g-g-g-grenade!
64: Ah-ha, it's me, a talking grenade - watch out! I'm going to--
66: Retreat!
67: Fall back!
68: Zoinks! Like, it's a grenade!
69: Jenkies! A grenade!
70: Uh-oh. We've been grenaded!

((Last one for the evening, since I'm exhausted from hitting today's deadlines. But this is good fun! The lines are dreadful, sure, but I'm learning a hell of a lot. Keep liking and retweeting. I want to see how absurd this becomes.)
71: Flee!
72: Nadeorino!
73: Run, unless you want shrapnel for lunch!
74: Last one out's dead!
75: Bless me Father, for it's a grenade!
76: That grenade? It's small, men -- not far away!
77: I'll finish another time -- grenade!
78: Where was I before I was interrupted by -- a grenade!!
79: People keep interrupting my stories with grenades. This is no exception!
81: Goodness me -- watch out for that grenade!
82: Explosion egg!
83: Make like a banana and split!
84: We gotta get outta here!
85: Express to Explosion Central!
86: Explosion City, round the corner!
87: Guys? I think I see a grenade.
88: Is that a grenade?
89: Firecracker!
90: I hope you guys got your earplugs in!
91: Make like a tree and leaf!
92: I spy with my little eye a GRENADE!
93: Go bye-bye or go boom-boom!
97: Nothing wakes me up like the sight of a grenade.
99: Oh look. Another grenade.

(My Twitter has become a blast zone, that's for sure. 100 already -- and 50 to go, as of the writing! If nothing else, let this prove the importance of getting the words down. Esp if they're bad -- cause you'll know they're bad, and how to do better in future.)
(I've many notes coming out of this. I'll do a post one day. I've got some fun considerations to share!

For now, it's lunch and other work.

Keep up with those likes, RTs, Follows, etc -- you ain't got me beat yet, world. 50 more? EZ PZ. Watch--)

101: It's gonna blow up!
((Hello! The list does go on from 12 -- I just missed the link somewhere. Sorry!

Here's the link to the rest of the thread: ))
102: Someone lobbed a grenade at us!
103: My grenade bounced back!
104: That ain't a pigeon just landed.
105: It's going to self destruct!
106: Haul ass!
107: Run or die!
108: I know a grenade when I hear one.
109: Exit, stage right!
110: Exit, fleeing a grenade!
111: That ain't no Easter Egg!
112: How long's the pin count?
113: This one's a dummy, right? A dud?
114: Look out!
115: Watch it!
116: Stay vigilant! You never know when you'll see a grenade. Like right now, for instance.
117: Oops.
118: Don't fear, men! They couldn't hit an elephant from this dist-- ah. They could grenade it, though.
119: Exploding pine cone!
120: Dammit Jenkins, not again!

((Going to try re-threadding this, so it's easier to see that original post. If you want to go back to 119, here's that link: )
121: Defensive positions!
122: Duck and cover!
123: I ever tell you I was allergic to grenades? *later* Ah-ahhh-aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaacccccccccccccccccccchooo!
124: Hark! T'is an egg of fire!
125: Incendiary!
126: Time to die.
127: Jiminy Christmas, is that a grenade?
128: A grenade! Just what I wanted for my Birthday!
129: That's not a Christmas present underneath the tree!
130: Grenades to the left of us! Grenades to the right of us! Grenades in the front of us!
131: That's a grenade, believe me, I know all about grenades
132: Hey, listen! That's a grenade -- it'll explode in a few seconds!
133: Link, I calculate a 68.3% chance that this enemy has thrown a grenade!
134: Sure as shit son, that's a grenade.
135: Don't be a fool -- that'll kill you!
136: Escape the grenade!

((One day. One happy, happy day. But I'm in it now, God knows.))
137: Get away!
138: You hear that? Our grenade sniffing dog is barking!
139: (From a grenade sniffing dog) Bark! bark!
140: What fine quality grenades they have!
141: Oi, Mavis! Quit throwin' yer grenades!
142: Another grenade. What a surprise.
143: That grenade looks like it should be quite the show!
144: Three seconds to what?
145: Four seconds til Heaven!
146: Who told Santa I wanted a grenade for Christmas?
147: Clear out!
148: Oh my. And what big grenades you have grandma!
149: Good God, was there a clearance day at the grenade store?!
150: Hey, I recognize that grenade!
151: I sense a grenade in the Force.
152: You laugh, but every time I see a grenade I faint. Just the sight makes me....
153: (From a mute squadmate) !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
154: (From a mute squadmate who has a whistle) -frantic whistle blowing-
155: Another grenade for my grenade collection!
156: It's a kaboom-bean!
157: Kaboom-bean! I'll keep saying it til it catches on.
158: (Another squadmate, later) Kaboom-bea.... ah, goddamn it Kurtis!
159: I had a dream about a grenade. We were sitting at this table, right here. It comes through the window three seconds after that server drops the plates.

And three, two, one... there it is.
160: There's a grenade near by.
161: Don't step on that grenade!
162: Grenade ahead!
163: Here comes a grenade!
164: Don't touch that grenade, boy!
165: It's raining grenades!
166: I don't remember grenades in the forecast.
167: I wish the weatherman had called for grenades!
168: Looks like that 60% chance of grenades just went up to 100!
169: If you can snatch the grenade from my hand, then you shall....the whole thing, you idiot, not just the pin!
170: Honey? There's a grenade at the door.
171: That ain't just a rock with green paint!
172: It's just a grenade, what's the worst that can happen?
173: Another free grenade!
174: Look at that! Have you ever seen such a beautiful grenade?
175: Shit -- what kind of hen have that got over there that's laying all these grenades?
176: (Spoken by your FBI escort into a recording device) This is FBI Special Agent Hale Rooper. I'm here with... a grenade! An old American pine cone model. What a classic!
177: Remember I told you that every time a grenade explodes an angel gets their wings? Well, one angel is about to be very happy.
178: If you don't want a closed-casket funeral, get running!
179: Bolt!
180: Make tracks!
181: Run or it's your funeral!
182: Here comes Heaven in a hand-egg!
183: It's off to hell in a hand basket if you don't run!
184: Looks like grenades are on the menu.
185: Grenade in the fruit bowl! Who the hell hides a grenade in the fruit bowl?!
186: We may have a grenade-relate problem.
187: How about that? Looks like they gave me a grenade to go with my cigar.
188: Doggie! Doggie! Ah, there you are. And what's this? A grenade? Bad dog!
189: Can you pass the soap? Thanks.... hey, wait a minute -- this is -- a grenade!
190: And for dessert, may I present your Sachertorte with grenade filling?
191: I'll watch your back, partner. (A moment later, your partner is gone and running. A grenade is at your feet.) Shit, yeah, sorry, watch out for the grenade!
192: Pardon, ma'am. There's trouble in the kitchen. Someone has replaced all our lettuce with grenades; I fear there's one in your salad.
193: (Spoken by that squadmate who speaks in slow-motion) Gggggggggggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaddddddddddddddddddddddddeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
194: That's not a gerbil -- that's a grenade!
195: Foolish mortal! You are no match for the power of my grenades!
197: Stop that. Stop that! I'll throw a grenade at you -- I'm warning you! Arrrrrrrrrrgh!
198: Why, if that ain't the prettiest grenade I ever did see!
199: Hey Pam! Come check out this grenade I found! Or -- hang on -- ah, nuts.
200: You get a grenade! And you get a grenade! Everybody gets a grenade!

(Still ain't got me beat!

That's all for this evening -- I must eat and finish some more work. Everyone, this is wild. I'll carry it as far as I can. I'll hope to make you proud. Follow along for more!)
201: Looks like we just got a grenade, hand-delivered.
202: The grenade in the hand is now in the bush.
203: I think I'm missing a grenade.
204: Has anybody seen my grenade?
205: Promise you won't get upset, but I think I accidentally threw my grenade.
206: Out out out!
207: I never saw a grenade I didn't like. Except for that one.
208: We're gonna blow up!
209: Someone's trying to explode us! With a grenade!
210: Don't get exploded by that grenade!
211: Don't be dumb -- move!
212: Of the Thirty-Six Stratagems, throwing grenades is best.
213: We now have a grenade based situation on our hands.
214: Don't freak, but -- grenade!
215: (From the table over) Waiter, there appears to be a grenade in my soup.
216: (From someone searching their pockets) I swore I brought my grenade with me... Ah! (pointing at your feet) There it is!
217: That ain't a hornets nest, but it's gonna sting!
218: You threw it short, you idiot!
219: Ya'll got four seconds to make peace!
220: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooope
221: Nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope
222: Sorry to interrupt, but a grenade just landed at your feet.
223: Don't worry, I threw the grenade back at them! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaand they've thrown it back again.
224: Our enemies have granted us a boom!
225: An after dinner grenade? How cultural!

(Right, 225 down, 755 to go at the time of writing. This'll be a marathon not a sprint, or else I'll die. Expect 50 barks a day, from now til The End. I may also impose a cap, because I'd be stupid not to -- but 755 at least I'll do.)
226: You don't wanna eat that grenade!
227: Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
There's a grenade
Right behind you!
228: Eat my grenade!
229: Here's a one way ticket to Grenade-a.
230: Grenadeo!
231: There once was a very fine squad,
Who marched in circles around the quad;
And on this fateful parade,
Someone threw a grenade!
So from here let's quickly trod!
232: Aw, nards! Don't put a grenade in my lunchbox, Big Bad Billy!
233: My fellow Americans, I'd like to announce: grenade!
234: Here's your ticket to the grenade show.
235: That ain't a souvenir you want to bring home!
236: Grenades, grenades! Who'd we piss off so bad they're pelting us with grenades?!
237: Looks like the boss has sent his regards.
238: A grenade? That's not a grenade. This is -- oh, wait, yes -- that is a grenade.
239: Stop the parade, that's a grenade!
240: It's boom and doom if we don't flee this room!
241: Ain't that cute? They threw a grenade.
242: That's such a cute grenade!
243: Ooo, a grenade! I wanna kiss it~
244: Oh no, a grenade! They're gonna blow up the flowers!
245: Looks like Mr Grenades over there has another present for us!
247: Move move move!
248: Quick everyone, over the rails!
249: Grenade! Hang on - sorry, sorry. False alarm. Oh. Er -- wait, sorry, yeah -- grenade!
250: Will the squad be able to get away from the grenade? Will the Special Ops bring in their promised re-enforcement? And will Commander Shi remember her past after blacking out? Find out nex---

((That does it for today's round! Be sure to tune in next time.))
251: It isn't opposite day! There isn't a grenade here!
252: Ooh, a grenade! Can I keep it?
253: Foxholes, now!
254: Dive!
255: Hurry, behind the wall!
256: Jump behind the car!
257: Get to safety!
258: Grenade behind us! Forward! Forward!
259: Halt! Don't go toward that grenade!
260: Drive around that grenade!
261: Don't run over that grenade!
262: Incoming grenade!
263: How can they throw grenades so high? Climb faster!
264: Grenade on the road!
265: Grenade in the air!
266: Grenade in the hole!
267: Degenerates! Throwing grenades in the library!
268: You'd never guess. There's a grenade in the percolator!
269: Why's there a grenade on my desk?
270: Don't go in there, it's full of grenades!
271: That's five adults and one grenade for tonight's film!
272: That'll be $3.50. Please drive to the next window to receive your grenade.
273: Not with a bang, nor a whimper -- but a grenade.
274: Break for that grenade!
275: A grenade is just what the doctor ordered.

(I'm back on the business! 50 a day, and we're 25 down. Should only be 500~ more by today's end. Will announce the cap and some other fun plans later today as well -- but for now, it's back to work!)
276: Grenading us in a church? Have they no shame?
277: Grenade up in here!
278: Remember I said it ain't over til the at lady throws a grenade? Well -- it's over.
279: Someone's upset the apple cart!
280: Everybody remain calm! There is a grenade amongst you!
281: Please exit in an orderly fashion: a grenade has been dropped!
282: Step away from the grenade!
283: Yes, ladies and gentlemen, there is a grenade -- but do not panic! Panicking is the worst thing you can do when a grenade has been dropped!
284: Grenade on the loose!
285: You may wonder: how many grenades can I juggle? Six, apparently, is too many.
286: Even professional grenade-jugglers make mistakes!
287: God, no! A grenade - I can't die to a grenade!
288: Grenade, huh? Better than going slow.
289: Here's a quick death for those who want one!
290: And with the magic words, I've turned this rabbit into a grenade!
291: What's that behind your ear? A grenade!
292: Know what I wish? That there wasn't a grenade right here, right now.
293: I never thought I'd see a grenade in person.
294: Who wants to play Catch the Grenade?
295: We regret to inform you that a grenade has been dropped amongst you!
296: (From a patron to their partner in the seat beside you, in this grenade-infested theater) Dear, something's just hit my foot. I think it's a mou... oh, no! Just a grenade.
297: A warning to the audience: this show does use live grenades, and the front three rows may be exploded. Observe!
298: Fire bath here, if anyone needs one!
299: Just when I thought the day couldn't get any worse, a grenade rolls up.
300: Death ain't comin' to us on a white horse. He's riding a grenade and he's here now.

(That's 300 barks out of 829 down!

In the event this blows up again, I'll set a cap now: I'll write up to 1003 grenade barks, if I get as many likes.

I hope you're all enjoying the fun!)
(And to make the linking easier, since that original tweet is pretty far back:

I'll also put up a blog post at the 500 mark, sharing some of the lessons I've gathered thus far.

I'm off for today though. See you all on the other side!)
301: So this is what it feels like to see a grenade!
302: (From a squadmate gone mad) Aaahahahahahahaha! It's a grenade!
303: Grena-grenaaah-aaaaaaaah-aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaachooooo! *sniff*
304: Would you like your latte with one or two shots of grenade?
305: That ain't a monster under your bed. It's a grenade!
306: I can verify that that is, indeed, a grenade.
307: I need a positive ID on this grenade!
308: Grenades are small and green, right?
309: Granola! Sorry, misspoke: grenade!
310: Listen to them! Grenades of the night! What wonderful explosions they make.
311: I'd like to show you something very special: a grenade.
312: Behold: the grenade room! In here we make all kinds of grenades, and -- wait. Stop. Don't. Please. Come back.
313: Is the grizzly reaper mowing? Will the grenades of hell be blowing? Yes!
314: Looks like a new grenade just rolled into town.
315: In the name of the Moon, I shall grenade you! 💫
316: Look Ma! A grenade!
317: Look at me, Ma! I'm on top of the grenade!
318: This may be shocking to hear, but there is a grenade in our midst.
319: I found something! Something beneath the ice! It looks like an ali... wait, no, that's not an alien! That's a grenade!
320: Yesterday upon the stair,
I passed a grenade that wasn't there.
But here it is, right now today --
Oh I wish, I wish it'd go away!
321: Knock knock! Who's there? Grenade!
322: Will no one rid me of this turbulent grenade?
323: A grenade in time kills nine -- or fewer, if we run!
324: Anybody order the grenade?
325: There's no such thing as a monster in your closet. Just a grenade!
326: This is one of the finest grenades I have ever seen. Pristine condition, manufactured in the famous Pittsburgh Grenade Factory for the European Theater in WW2. What we have here is priceless. Pity it's going to explode.
327: We're all about to see the light.
328: A grenade! I'll name it Charleen.
329: I don't mean to disturb you, but a grenade has just been thrown.
330: If this grenade hadn't been thrown at us, I'd value it at well five thousand dollars. If it weren't about to explode, well over seven thousand.
331: This ain't your grandpappy's grenade -- run!
332: Hold your breath. I've pulled the pin. Now count to three.
333: Ever wondered how your life could change in a second? You're about to find out!
334: What we have here is a grenade.
335: I believe I see a grenade. I'm not positive, but I just thought you ought to know.
336: A case in point: if we live in a post-grenade society, why is there a grenade here?
337: (From a baby, on seeing a grenade) Waah! Waah! Gwa-naaaade!
338: Why'd I speed up? Because there's a grenade behind us, you moron!
339: Pedal to the metal! There's a grenade behind us!
340: Speed! Pray you, sirs and madams -- speed away from this grenade!
341: Look, father, the grenade is close by our side!
Dost see not the grenade, from which we must hide?
342: Four eggs, half a cup of sugar, stick of butter, grenade -- this is a recipe for disaster.
343: It's just a grenade, nothing to get upset about!
344: What have we here? Four calling birds, three french hens, two turtle doves, and a grenade in a pear tree?
345: I like what I see. A grenade that well crafted Is a rare sight.
346: Take a good look! That might be the last grenade you ever see.
347: Hey everyone! What growls and then explodes? A grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrenade!
348: Hey, is it littering if someone drops a grenade? Should I pick it up, or?
349: Word to the wise: grenade.
350: May the Grenade be with you.

(We're nearing the current halfway mark! Again, it's 1 Like for 1 grenade bark, up to 1003 -- we're just over 850 now. I hope we can blow it up louder!

I hope you're all enjoying it as much as I am. More coming soon!)
351: What a fool, throwing his grenade at us -- now we have one and he doesn't!
352: If we don't run then it's up, up and away!
353: Vamoose!
354: Get gone!
355: Oh boy. This'll hurt!
356: Brace yourselves for a grenade!
357: Hey everyone! So this is a bit embarrassing, but I was so excited I accidentally threw my grenade!
358: We may be in trouble.
359: Shoulda told you sooner buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut grenade
360: Don't take this the wrong way, but I need some space. You're too close to that grenade.
361: Just my luck. Another grenade.
362: Do you see what I see? If you see a grenade, then yes, you do.
363: You're about to wish you'd bought my grenade insurance.
364: Here's a topical joke: what do you call an exploding sea-person? Mernade!
365: Three little nades by the school I see 🎵
366: Tuck 'n roll behind the tuck n' roll!
367: Don't ask how, don't ask why, but someone managed to slip a grenade through the mail slot.
368: Oh nelly, a grenade. Think I can use it to light my last cigarette?
369: (From a band-mate during the rock and roll concert) Is that a grenade shaped beer-bottle? No? Just the real thing, huh?
370: (From a squadmate in snowy mountains) Ski faster! A grenade's about to kick off an avalanche!
372: I love this grenade, in all its deadliness! Boom da-yada, boom de-yada.
373: Grenade! Grenade in the dungeon! Thought you ought to know.
374: Have you ever danced with a grenade in the pale moonlight? Well, you're about to.
375: Clear sky, calm sea, warm sand. Not even that grenade can spoil the moment.
376: I hope it's not too late to say this -- grenade!
377: I don't want to make this awkward, but I'm not comfortable being this close to a grenade.
378: (From a very, very slow teammate) Uh-oh. A grenade. You guys hurry ahead, I'll catch up!
379: (From a band-mate during the rock and roll concert) Grenade on the stage! Hype the crowd, we gotta surf!
380: Ah! Leave that grenade alone. It's not a toy.
381: (From a deaf squad mate) DON'T DO WHAT I DID -- GET YOUR EARPLUGS IN -- GRENADE!
382: Look what the cat dragged in. It's a grenade.
383: Huh. A grenade just washed ashore.
384: Better late than never to let you know: grenade!
385: There's the wind up and the pitch -- what a great grenade toss!
386: These idiots! They've just tossed us another grenade!
387: I've tossed a few celebratory grenades. I hope nobody minds.
388: Look! One less grenade for them, one more for us!
389: Oh, a grenade? Life is pointless anyway.
390: If you'd had grenade insurance, you'd be covered for this situation!
391: You're about to be real happy you bought that grenade insurance!
392: Its not too late to buy grenade insurance! Any takers?
393: I regret to inform you, the price of grenade insurance has just blown up!
394: Remember you said I was a fool for buying grenade insurance? Well who's laughing now?
395: I hope your life insurance covers grenades.
396: Anybody got the number for that grenade insurance guy?
397: Hey, can I buy your grenade insurance policy real quick?
398: Thank god I bought that grenade insurance.
399: I'm about to cash in on my grenade insurance.
400: Know what I wish existed right now? Grenade insurance.
401: They say close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades. We're about to find out how true the latter is.
402: Remain calm! A grenade is no excuse for breaking safety protocol!
403: Let's not all run from the grenade at once, now!
404: Thank God, the grenade can't be found!

Strike that. Reverse it.
405: Single file lines, everyone! It's time to practice what we learned about grenades!
406: Ugh, not again. I'm so tired of constantly being besieged by grenades! If only there were something I could do.
407: (From squad-mate 406, later) I'm so glad I was introduced to the Grenade Alert! It's really changed my life. And saved it!
408: (From the Grenade Alert) WEE-WOO-WEE-WOO!
409: It is a grenade. But it is meaningless. Everything is meaningless.
410: Why fear the grenade? Life is what one should fear.
411: Of course it is absurd to encounter a grenade. Life is absurd.
412: Behold, the face of death: a grenade.
413: (From the roller rink DJ) To the person who drives the white Camaro: there's a grenade by you.
415: Look at that, he knocked that grenade right outta the park. And now it's coming our way!
416: Foul ball! That grenade is spinning right our way -- someone catch!
417: Here is a grenade. It adds no more chaos to the world. Murder is the natural state.
418: (From a squad-mate taking off their shoes) Glad to finally get these off! I've had a pebble in there all -- hey, that ain't a pebble -- it's a grenade!
419: Evacuate the citizens! Save them from this grenade!
420: Blazes! It's a grenade!
421: (From a world class hacker) I've done it! I've downloaded a grenade, but in real life!
422: What's that? What am I 3D printing? Oh, just a grenade.
423: Cut! Clear the set. Some dummy's just thrown a real grenade.
424: What goes boom in the night? You're about to find out.
425: Aye, there she rolls! There she rolls! The damned white grenade! After all these years, the monster again profanes my sight. Not the hour, but the second of my revenge is upon us!
426: Between horseshoes and hand grenades, I'd take the horseshoe right now.
427: Grenades are just God's way of saying it's time.
428: Why, is that a grenade? I haven't seen one since 1917! Just as awful as I remember.
429: (From a squad mate with a airhorn) BWAAAAAAAAAAAAA
430: Death is here. Hello, grimnade!
431: Ain't that a happy lil explosive? A regular old grin-nade.
432: Here's your hat, your coat and your grenade.
433: Grenade -- think fast!
434: I know it's wrong to shout fire in a crowded theater, but what about grenade?
435: Leaning… Leaning… Safe and secure from this grenade…
436: Hear ye, hear ye! Grenade!
437: Sorry team. I fumbled the grenade.
438: A witch told me I'd be visited by three curses. The first, a grenade, has just come to pass.
439: Of all the offices in this city, this grenade rolls into ours.
440: When departing the platform, mind the gap and mind the grenade.
441: I said I was cold, I didn't say drop a grenade! What a stupid idea!
442: I said pass the mayonnaise, not pass the grenade! How do you even get those confused?
443: What's that over yonder? Small, green -- mighty explosive lookin', I should say!
444: (From a squad mate who really hates your guts) Hey, there's no grenade over that way, you should totally go over there!
445: Hey, can we talk for a sec? Someone's just thrown a grenade at us. Since we don't have much longer, I wanted to confess something to you. I've always loved your socks. I stole a pair once. I'm wearing them now. I'm sorry.
446: Fate's here! Out run her if you can!
447: (From one squad mate, watching another run away) Looks like someone's in a hurry. You'd think he saw a grenade or something…
448: (From one squad mate, watching another run away) Looks like he's just seen a ghost! Or a grenade, or some--- Ah. Grenade!
449: Make way, make way! Do not impede me as I flee yon grenade!
450: Do my eyes deceive me, or do I see a grenade?

(And with that, we cross the current halfway mark! Only 874 Likes right now. I'm willing to go up to 1003 if we can get there.

To mark 500 as well, I'll write a special blog post -- expect it early next week. See you then!)
451: I wouldn't go in there if I were you!
452: (From the tax man) This grenade is no excuse for you all to not pay Uncle Sam his due!
453: That ain't a happy little accident, it's a grenade.
454: And in other news: grenade!
455: Duh it's a grenade! We're at war, what do you expect it to be? A bath bomb?
456: Two things are certain: taxes and death. Or in this case, taxes and grenades.
457: (From your squad mate with a very high IQ, when asked what that noise was) It's a grena-duuuh.
458: Ugh, what is that? That little green -- is that a grenade? Ick!
459: We're under attack! By grenades!
460: Quick, grenade! I'm sure you all remember your training for this moment and that you're all about to make me very proud.
461: What good can that grenade do against a couple of quick thinking, fleet footed folk like us?
462: Ah, a grenade! Finally, some action!
463: Hey, a grenade! Thank God, I was getting bored.
464: I don't understand. Grenade! I don't -- who would throw a grenade at us?!
465: Oh look, a grenade. Let's see what coward runs the fastest!
466: (From the tax man) Grenade! Anyone who hasn't paid before they go, I'll follow you into death to get what's due!
467: I hate grenades. This has really ruined my day.
468: Anybody who wanted to know what's on the other side, now's your chance!
469: What's that? A -- ahh! Someone help me finish tying my shoes!
470: (From a squad mate brushing their teeth) GWA-WAAADE!
471: Grenade! Whoever threw that has got a hell of an arm.
472: Could it be? That grenade throw was so fine, so memorable…
473: Another one! Keep running! Either we run out of stamina or they run out of grenades!
474: Huh. I wonder what kind of grenade that is.
475: (From a text message, sent by a concerned friend while you're on your date) You need to run. I did some digging: your date is made out of grenades! Please run!

(End of today, we'll have 500! I'll work on the blog post. Hopefully it'll be ready to go by then!)
476: Alright, alright. Which of you jokesters threw the grenade?
477: Oh boy, a grenade! Wait 'til Ma hears about this!
478: Wowza, a grenade! Finally, something I can tell the folks back home about!
479: Gee, a real grenade! Pa would be so proud of me.
480: Grenade! You better run, Johnson -- you still owe me five bucks!
481: A grenade? Big whoop.
482: Look, an old F1 grenade! I'll have to add that to my scrapbook.
483: Boy howdy, is that a Stielhandgranaten? You know the British used to call 'em potato mashers? Silly looking, but highly effective. We better run.
484: An MK 26! Or is it an M67? I really should know my American grenades better.
485: A Type 97! Oh my god, that's it! The last grenade I've not seen in the field!
486: Ah-ha! An M67! I'm sure of it this time; I did a lot of studying after my previous exhibition of ignorance!
487: Finally, they're throwing grenades! Now I can throw a few myself.
488: Get ready to see some fireworks up close!
489: Remember, it's flight then fight!
490: Grenades explode right? Yeah? Ah. Then we should run.
491: Sorry if this is a dumb question, but if I saw a grenade I should tell ya'll right? Yeah? Good to know. Grenade!
492: Sorry to wake you, but -- grenade!
493: Ugh, is that an American grenade? How tasteless.
494: Ech, a French grenade! What uncultured fool throws a French grenade?
495: Lord, why would they throw a German grenade? One of the ugliest grenades ever made?
496: Ah! A Spanish grenade! I see we're fighting men of taste.
497: Huh? Is that grenade? Woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooah, man! That's, like, not good!
498: Like, a grenade? Aw man. That's heavy stuff.
499: Man, I don't want to harsh your mellow, but, like - grenade!
500: Wow, man, a grenade! Mondo cool!

(500 down. As promised, a blog on the exercise:

Big thanks to @jeffgerstmann -- without whom I wouldn't have 875+ barks to write, let alone 500.

And thanks to everyone for their Likes. Onward to 1003!)
((Also, introducing -- my new website. You'll find my portfolio there, as well as my contact information.

And starting today, you'll also find a weekly blog! I'll post every Monday about an aspect of game writing and narrative design. See you there!))
501: Oh. Oh my. A Chinese grenade? Utterly beautiful. I'll regret killing them.
502: I know something you'd be interested in. I'll tell you, but it'll cost you. Very good! Grenade.
503: (From a witness, after the priest asks if anyone knows a reason these two should not be wed) Is a grenade a good reason?
504: Would you like to hear the Good News? I'll tell you -- but I'll tell you first, it isn't this grenade!
505: What's all the fuss about? A grenade? Pfft.
506: Just a grenade! No need to get your knickers in a twist!
507: Don't look so panicked! A grenade isn't the end of the world.
508: A grenade? This early in the morning? Who's even up now?
509: A grenade! I hope the neighbours don't file noise complain at us.
510: Who threw the grenade? I won't pay for the damages!
511: I don't know how it keeps happening! Grenades are just attracted to me!
512: I don't want to be a grenade magnet, but here we are again.
513: Anyone got any grenade repellent? Is that a thing? Because we could use some right now.
514: What do you mean the landlord doesn't allow grenades?
515: You should have told me sooner you have a grenade allergy!
516: Anybody here sensitive to explosions? Better run!
517: What you are about to see may explode you.
518: I hope their home owners insurance covers grenades!
519: Don't let this grenade destroy property AND life!
520: Kitchen's about to heat up -- everybody out!
521: Drop what you're doing and go!
522: With this grenade, I do thee kill!
525: Ahem. Aheeeeeeeeeem. Grenade.

(That's the morning's batch done! Time again to review my notes for class and continue on with other projects. Once I've developed them more and finished this mad exercise, I'll share them with you all.

See you tonight for 550!)
526: You want the good news or the bad news first? Bad news? Okay: grenade!
527: (From a British squad mate, in the middle of a conversation) Well, it's all horses for courses -- and grenades in parades! (On seeing none of their American counterparts flee.) That last bit wasn't a British expression!
528: (From one of cinema's greatest action heroes who just burst in, pointing at the grenade at your feet) Ah-ha! I threw that shit before I was even in the room!
529: I'll sue whoever threw this grenade!
530: Yes, there's a grenade, but don't be sad! You all signed up for this.
531: I know you'll all appreciate the grenade just thrown through the window. I hope you'll also all appreciate that there's no need to start pushing.
532: I have a confession to make to you: I am a grenade.
533: Anyone know the number for the grenade helpline?
534: Someone call the cops -- there's a grenade in the house!
535: I've fallen and I can't get up. Which is a problem because of this grenade!
536: Don't make any sudden movements: Grenade! Or. Wait, no - do make sudden movements, headed in the opposite direction!
537: Grenade swarm!
538: Did someone kick a hornets nest of grenades?
539: You bought this car from Mad Ed's Auto-Discount? You idiot! They don't call him Mad Ed for his low prices -- which, arguably, are only middling discounts at best -- but because every car comes with a grenade!
540: No joke: a bird brought my grenade back.
541: Ah hell! Damn bird flew into my grenade, bounced it back!
542: Marmalade! Marmalade!
543: More marmalade! How do we keep ending up in these sticky situations?
544: (From a squad mate who was threatened with a court martial, if they said marmalade again) Vegemite!
545: (From a cockney squad mate) Mattock and spade!
546: Looks like they threw a grenade toward Carmichael's squaaaaaaAAAAHHHH! WHAT KIND OF SCREWBALL PITCH? - IT'S COMING THIS WAY!
547: This summer, exploding in this very room, Terror is: that grenade!
548: Watch out! They curved the grenade -- it's coming right at us!
549: Beware the grenade!
550: I admit, combining a grenade with a boomerang was one of my worse ideas.

(That does it for another day. A pleasure again!

I'm still hopeful we can get this to 1003. Spread the word of this absurd grenade-centric sideshow and I'm sure we will!

See you tomorrow for 600💫)
551: Seeing a grenade was the last item on my bucket list. You all run ahead.
552: Who do I call if I find a grenade?
553: Attack of the living grenades!
554: I present to you: grenades!
555: (From an enemy who can't speak quietly) I'M GOING TO THROW MY GRENADE AT THOSE BOZOS OVER THERE
556: Hey, jerks! Catch!
557: Yo, losers? Know how much I hate you? So much I'm throwing this grenade!
558: Hey everyone! Come watch those dummies over there blow up!
559: Ma'am! Don't forget your complimentary grenade!
560: Here, have a grenade.
561: It hurts to toss such a beautiful grenade! But you must die.
562: Great grenade toss!
563: You should feel lucky the boss is using grenades on you!
564: Kill 'em with grenades!
565: Flush them out! Throw a grenade!
566: Ready, aim -- throw!
567: That ain't just a snowball! Everybody run!
568: The hell? A snowba-- grenade! Grenade in the snowball!
569: Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas to all, and to all a grenade!
570: Someone has been naughty again this year. Coal wasn't enough? How about a grenade?
571: Truly, tis better to give than receive!
572: That ain't Santa comin' down the chimney! Grab the milk and cookies and run!
573: These uncultured dolts deserve an ugly grenade. Throw the potato masher!
574: This potato masher's about to mash a lot more than potatoes!
575: In case of grenade, what do?
576: The grenade won't work if you run!
577: Stand still!
578: You look like you could use a grenade.
579: I'm about to serve up some grenades!
580: How about a nice, refreshing grenade?
581: Ya'll blow up now, y'hear?
582: First grenade didn't work? Have another!
583: They're throwing grenades by the bushel!
584: Get ready to have your mind blown!
585: Send them heavenward!
586: Throw them like rice at a wedding!
587: Here, take this!
588: I hope you all have explosive tastes!
589: How do I pull the pin again? Ah -- there we go!
590: This is what you get for fighting back!
591: My aim is poor. But the grenade doesn't mind.
592: Come on, make it a hundred kills!
593: Get ready to chalk up another grenade fatality!
594: One more notch for the old grenade!
595: What kind of tree did they shake all these grenades from?
596: Plenty more where that came from. Observe!
597: Drop and give me -- fifty! I was going to say fifty push ups, not your grenade!
598: Looks like an avacadon't!
599: That ain't an avocado you want to cut into!
600: Even in this economy, that's not an avocado you want on your toast!

(1 Like on the original thread = 1 Grenade bark:

Also, you can read about my experience writing up to 500 here!

Let's live that dream of 1003💫Onward!)
601: We out of grenades? No? Good!
602: It's Chuck Grenades!

(He's here. He's not going anywhere soon. Get ready.)
603: Another gift from Chuck Grenades!
604: I see Mr Chuck Grenades, Esquire, calls again!
605: Boss Chuck Grenades sends his regards!
606: It's Maestro Chuck Grenades' latest blasterpiece!
607: Chef Chuck Grenades just served up his hottest dish!
608: Telegram from Mr Chuck Grenades: BOOM! Stop.
609: The dastardly Chuck Grenades left his calling card!
610: Chuck Grenades is back in town!
611: Chuck Grenades to see you!
612: Uh-oh! Boss Chuck Grenades wants to fire us!
613: Chuck Grenades, astronaut extraordinaire, is about to send us into space!
614: Father Chuck Grenades, here to bring us closer to God!
615: Citizen Chuck Grenades just voted us out of the office!
616: Chuck Grenades is… er… he has, ah -- ah, shit. Can't think of one.
617: Criminal Mastermind, Chuck Grenades, is about to destroy the crime scene!
618: Knock knock! Who's there? Chuck! Chuck who? Chuck Grenades!
619: Philanthropist Chuck Grenades makes another detonation!
620: We turned down the wrong alley: it's Chuck Grenades!
621: Hark! His Lordship, Chuck Grenades, doth appear!
622: Badass Chuck Grenades, rolling in, making a scene!
623" Mystery Man Chuck Grenades snuck up on us again!
624: Chuck Grenades! Soon as I see him, he's dead.
625: (From a squad mate, after Chuck Grenades was a dead joke everyone agreed to retire) You know, I used to miss Chuck Grenades. But now? I really don't.

(Is this the end of Chuck Grenades? Find out in 626-???? ~ coming soon!

Reflecting on 500 barks:
626: Don't move! One more kill and the record is mine!
627: Looks like we brought knives to a grenade fight!
628: It's like they robbed the Bank of Grenades!
629: Huh. Turns out grenades don't sink.
630: They're throwing grenades like old folk throw crumbs to birds!
631: Do I detect a grenade?
632: Everyone wake up! I have bad news about Private Gregor Samsa. Run and I'll tell you outside.
633: (From a small squad mate dancing in a Red Room, in a dream) Edanerg!
634: Mush faster or we explode!
635: Spur your horses! Away! Away!
636: Who let the grenade in?
637: I see our anti-grenade force field failed.
638: You know how I shot down all those grenades? I missed one.
639: Chuck Grenades just got relevant again.

640: It's the return of Chuck Grenades!

(I mean, I couldn't help it. Well, obviously I could, but. Well.)
641: That Chuck Grenades has a hell of an arm!
642: Pitcher Chuck Grenades has done it again!
643: Goddamn, someone get Chuck Grenades a contract with the Yankees!
644: Don't run! It's just your friend, Herr Chuck Grenades!
645: You can't escape Chuck Grenades!
646: Volley from Pirate King Chuck Grenades!
647: Another chuckler from Comedy King Chuck Grenades!
648: Ya'll can quit belly-achin' 'bout your headcolds! Doctor Chuck Grenades just threw up a cure.
649: No luck! Maybe Chuck Grenades will autograph the next one.
650: (From a squad mate after the CO has shut down Chuck Grenades) Buck Grenades! Duck Grenades? Fu...

(We're up to 900 Likes. Get the word out -- help the dream of 1003!

If you're interested, here's a reflection on writing 500 barks:

See you tomorrow!)
651: That grenade you like is coming back in style.
652: One o'clock, two o'clock, three o'clock grenade!
653: I am reminded of an occasion many years ago, when I was a youth serving in the British Armed Forces: 2nd Regiment, 31st Battalion, Myrtle Company. We were in a home, much as we are now. One of the enemy soldiers threw a grenade through the window then, too.
654: I've got a grenade with your name on it!
655: I don't want this grenade any more. You have it!
656: Grenades aren't part of a balanced diet, but take one anyway!
657: For a painless death, I recommend grenades!
658: Here! You forgot your grenades!
659: The dead are calling! Stay and hear their demand!
660: Stay there! I don't want this grenade to be wasted.
661: If you could all group together, that'd be great.
662: On the count of three, everyone say cheese. One -- two -- three! -- grenade!
663: Good huddle! Now everyone, break for the grenade!
664: Your Honor, in light of this grenade, I'd like to call for a recess.
665: I'm a generous man! Have another grenade. And another!
666: Better start hailing Satan!
667: Death comes. Hell follows.
668: Know who I bet we'll meet in Hell? That devil Chuck Grenades.
669: Have as many grenades as you like!
670: I buy so many of these, they should name the next model after me.
671: Scatter, you flock of frightened pigeons!
672: Looks like one of you laid an egg!
673: Ready or not, grenade!
674: Thanks, I had a grenade evening too. Great, I mean. Explode me -- excuse! Ah….
675: (From Lt Baker) Why're you smiling? You heard I only carry a dozen grenades and I've just thrown my twelfth? Heh.

(We're at 910 Likes now -- 1003 is so near!

If we get there, I have an Idea -- details at 750!

A reflection on writing 500 barks: )
676: Want to lose weight fast? Here!
677: I'm not bitter. See? I brought you some grenades.
678: Get your grenade here!
679: I've been with this grenade since the war started. But you can have it now.
680: I can't aim, but I sure can throw some grenades!
681: I'd like you to die.
682: Greg Nader's about to become a thing!
683: Ol Greg Nader come to town!
684: Anybody know a Greg Nader?
685: Greg Nader!
686: There's something you should know about Greg Nader…
687: I know no one likes Greg Nader, but -- Greg Nader!
688: Greg Nader and Chuck Grenades. The crossover no one wanted.
689: If you're not a fan of grenades, I've got some bad news.
690: You found my special grenade throwing gloves? Perfect!
691! Give me another grenade! And another!
692: I can throw these all day!
693: I'm sorry, but company policy dictates I throw a grenade.
694: Forgive me! I only throw this for my country!
695: You're about to hear doomsday break!
696: No need to thank me! I'm a giver.
697: This one's on the house!
698: Please! Take it, it's yours!
699: Peace, love and grenades!
700: When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's a grenade!

(We're closing in! When we hit 750 tomorrow, I'll make a few silly promises in the hopes we can push up to 1003.

Til then, you can read about my experience of writing 500 barks: )
701: Keep those grenades coming!
702: Grenade Toss! Explode the target, win a prize!
703: Don't be afraid, throw the grenade!
704: This is going to be a tough pill to swallow. Well, not a pill exactly.
705: Show some respect! There's about to be one less grenade in the world.
706: Grenades sure are in demand these days!
707: Who would throw away a perfectly good grenade?
708: They're so wasteful with grenades!
709: Looks like I should have invested in grenades!
710: Good day to be in the grenade business!
711: The supply of grenades is about to go down.
712: The supply of grenades is down, but the demand has gone up!
713: Looks like trading's open on the shock and awe market!
714: One word: grenade.
715: I'm thinking of a number between one and grenade.
716: In a few seconds, we'll have one less grenade to worry about!
717: I'm about to blow up sales of Munitions Disliker Monthly!
718: I'd like to convince you to buy a subscription to Munitions Disliker Monthly.
719: Anyone want to be interviewed for Munitions Disliker Monthly after this?
720: Munitions Disliker Monthly just got a new subscription!
721: I'm writing into Munitions Disliker Monthly after this!
722: Wait til Munitions Disliker Monthly hears about this!
723: I bet this is how Munitions Disliker Monthly boosts their numbers!
724: Can I interest anyone in a subscription to Munitions Disliker Monthly?
725: You're sure you can't be interested in Munitions Disliker Monthly? I'm not.

(Now I must turn my attention toward @OverTheAlpsGame 💫I'll be out with Stave Studios all day. I'll sneak my way up to 750.

Help us reach 1003 by Liking this Tweet! -> )
726: What kind of freak carnival game is this -- Toss the Grenade?
727: Who rolls a grenade like a bowling ball?
728: Who brings a grenade to a shootout?
729: I have a grenade and I'm not afraid to use it!
730: That's no doll! That's a grenade with googly eyes!
731: Who's a lil' grenade? You are!
732: It's good for grenades to breathe!
733: Be free, grenades! Be free!
734: Fly away, grenade!
735: Now, grenades! Fulfil your purpose!
736: I'd like to introduce you to my grenades!
737: Say hello to my little grenade!
738: This grenade is named Sheila. She's yours now.
739: Why're you running from Charles? Just because he's a grenade?
740: An extraordinary specimen of a grenade!
741: Allow me a second to study this grenade!
742: It's rare to see a grenade in the wild! Four seconds, then -- boom!
743: Now that is a grenade to be feared.
744: I just got a lot of respect for grenades.
745: If any of you Popeye's got any spinach, now's the time to chow down!
746: Boom goes the grenade.
747: Great throw, Jones!
748: Let's have a grenade throwing contest!
749: I don't know what I been told -- all these grenades are getting' old!
750: Have your synapses frozen? Run!

(We're closing in on 1003!

If we make it to that happy sum, I'll write another writing blog -- and I'll record 103 of the best barks. I promise to do my best character voices.

You can Like the original thread here!
751: Someone pass me a pen? A pen! Not a pin, you idiot!
752: I know just the thing to celebrate with. A grenade!
753: What do you mean you don't celebrate with grenades?
754: Watch me throw this grenade, sir!
755: I hope this grenade toss will be satisfactory, ma'am!
756: Yessir! Throwing grenade, sir!
757: Your punishment shall be grenades.
758: Fair warning! I'm going to throw a grenade now!
759: I'm new to this grenade throwing, so don't run too fast!
760: I don't need you! I have my grenades.
761: Let's see who's faster! Your or the grenade!
762: Can you outrun a grenade? Let's find out!
763: Break it up! You can't fight with a grenade near by!
764: Please walk this way away from the grenade.
765: Follow me to the nearest grenade-free exit.
766: Once upon a time, there was a little grenade.
767: No one can escape my grenade!
768: My grenades never miss!
769: How lucky you are to witness my grenade toss!
770: I have perfected my grenade throw after years of practice!
771: (From a squad mate interested in remixes) Nade-gre--gre-gre-na-nade! Gre-na-gre-nade!
772: Take one grenade before bed to help you sleep.
773: Grenade free for a good home!
774: You look lonely. Have a grenade for company.
775: Looks like Splinter Company is now in grenade company!

(We're headed to 800 today! For every Like on the original tweet, I'll write another -- when we get to 1003, I'll release a new blog on writing 1003 barks & I'll record 103! Here's the link: 💣)
776: This was a grenade free zone until it wasn't.
777: Speak when spoken to, soldier! What's that? A grenade? Why didn't you say so sooner!
778: Behold my grenade-based arts!
779: Woosh! Plonk, roll -- kaboom!
780: I am a man of many explosions!
781: I'm about to raise my tally!
782: Watch as I pick up this grenade and throw it!
783: Would you like to examine this grenade up close?
784: Time for the twelve o'clock grenade!
785: Is that a grenade in your pocket? Oh.
786: Why yes, this is a grenade in my pocket.
787: Everybody run! It's the man of a million grenades!
788: Where he walks, grenades fall!
789: (From a squad mate, lying on 40 mattresses) I feel something! I don't think it's a pea.
790: Little too big to be a green bean, ain't it?
791: Seize the means of production with grenades.
792: You know what they say! Grenade under foot, face full of soot!
793: You know what they say! Grenade in the sky, run or die!
794: What just fell out of that truck up ahead?
795: My subscription to Grenade Watcher just paid off!
796: I'm part of the Grenade Watchers Society. I see one now.
797: That ain't a shooting star!
798: The grenades! There are too many of them!
799: Someone kill that grenade!
800: Permission to speak, sir? Grenade!

(We're closing in! Keep Liking the original post so we can get to 1003:

When we get to that happy number, I'll write another blog post on writing 1003 barks. I'll also record 103 lines!

See you then!)
801: We need to murder the grenade before it murders us!
802: All I have left is grenades!
803: If I had any other option, I wouldn't throw this grenade.
804: Let's warm up around the grenade.
805: Anybody got a grenade that could heat this place up?
806: Any volunteers for this next grenade?
807: I sentence you to four seconds with a grenade.
808: May I have another grenade?
809: Anyone have a grenade I can borrow? Well, not borrow, but.
810: I'm so happy to see that grenade, said nobody ever.
811: Giddy up cowpoke, grenade on the trail!
812: That's it! I'm throwing a grenade over there!
813: Throw 'em over the wall!
814: Roll 'em under the door!
815: Toss 'em through the window!
816: For my next trick, I'm going to make this grenade disappear.
817: Watch as it vanishes, on the count of four!
818: And a one, a two, a one two three four!
819: I'm not afraid to keep throwing grenades.
820: It's easy to throw a grenade. See? Easy.
821: What do you mean, you don't have the stomach to throw a grenade?
822: It's just like throwing a baseball! It's not that hard.
823: And a grenade! A green grenade! With a skull painted cross it, will be comin' in...
824: Let he who is without sin cast the first grenade.
825: Welcome, Delicious Grenade.

(With our current Likes, it's only 100 more to go! Let's live the dream and get to 1003!

Read about writing 500 barks here:

And read about/play a free Twine game here! )
826: It almost goes without saying now, but -- grenade!
827: It's fight time!
828: Live by the grenade, die by the grenade.
829: How long a warning do you need about a grenade?
830: You can't jump start a car with a grenade!
831: Stand back!
832: From this seed, a tree of fire!
833: From this egg shall an explosion hatch!
834: Always check the small print. They always hide grenades there.
835: Sign here, sigh here, initial here -- grenade there -- sign here…
836: This grenade should get your blood pumping!
837: I've got a good excuse for you to do some running.
838: Get ready to exercise!
839: Please throw your grenades.
840: How did you throw your grenade so bad?!
841: Ow! Someone just threw a rock or something at me. A weird green rock.
842: Least they could do would be to throw some fancy grenades at us.
843: What kind of new fangled grenade is that!
844: If anyone wants some shrapnel, hang around!
845: Blast bean bouncing toward us!
846: Are we saying Blast Bean or Kaboom-bean? Either way, grenade.
847: Grenade! See, everyone? That's all you have to say!
848: Grenade! See how boring that is?
849: Kablast-bean! Can we use that as a compromise?
850: How many times do I have to say it? Grenade!

(We're nearing the end! Let's live the dream and get to 1003 💫

Read about writing 500 barks here:

And read about/play a free Twine game here! )
851: How cowardly do you have to be to panic over so small a grenade?
852: Hey ya'll. Mind if I throw a grenade?
853: Permission to throw a grenade?
854: Permission to flee the grenade?
855: Permission to warn you about the grenade?
856: That grenade has really brought me down.
857: Why does a grenade need to spoil my moment?
858: Why do you have to run from my grenade?
859: Good luck with this grenade!
860: Have a grenade for luck!
861: What a bad throw!
862: That wasn't your best throw.
863: You can throw better than that.
864: Does it matter how good my throw was? The grenade should get them regardless!
865: Let me show you how to throw a grenade.
866: Try throwing your next grenade higher -- like this.
867: How do you get spin on your grenade toss? Let me show you.
868: I see you've practiced your grenade throwing!
869: Try throwing another.
870: It's good fun, isn't it? Here, throw another.
871: Have another grenade! I insist.
872: Is my grenade throw any better?
873: I know my grenade toss ain't great, but I tried!
874: I think that was my best grenade throw yet!
875: Maybe I should just give up throwing grenades.

(We're not far off from 1003! Can we get as many Likes?

Also, I wrote about writing 500 barks:

And I wrote about a free Twine game (w/link!) here! )
876: I've practiced my grenade toss! Can you tell?
877: Here's a new grenade throw I've been working on!
878: My grenade throws aren't very good, are they?
879: Wow! I've really got to work on my grenade toss!
880: Huh. They're not great at throwing grenades, are they?
881: They're not the best at grenade tossing, but they're good enough!
882: I wonder who gave them tips on throwing grenades!
883: We should really take notes on their grenade throwing!
884: Hello class. I'm here today to teach you how to throw grenades.
885: Does anybody want to demonstrate how to throw a grenade?
886: Watch how Cleo throws her grenade, everyone!
887: What fine grenade lobbing form!
888: I'm a lobbyist for grenades.
889: Lob, lob, lob. It won't be so funny when I lob you with a grenade!
890: We've brought the grenade lobbyists down on us!
891: The grenade lobbyists are filling the room!
892: I think the grenade lobby might be a bit too powerful.
893: Behold, the power of the grenade lobby!
894: Can we ban the grenade lobbyists after this incident?
895: This is why I hate grenade lobbyists!
896: You're not a grenade lobbyist! You're just a grenade lobber.
897: I don't think he's a grenade lobbyist as much as a grenade hobbyist.
898: Don't make me lob my grenade over there!
899: The grenade lobby is about to blow us away!
900: I lob you!

(The final push! I'm still hopeful we'll get to 1003 Likes. I'll keep retweeting til then:

Also, I wrote about writing 500 barks!

And I wrote about a free Twine game (w/link!) here! )
901: Where's the grenade exit?
902: You see that thing behind you, In Case of Grenade Break Glass? Break the glass.
903: I hope you're all wearing your grenade proof armor!
904: You're gonna need more than a helmet to survive this one!
905: Forget the umbrellas, they won't stop this shower of shrapnel!
906: Bishop to D6. Grenade to -- well, here!
907: I hope you all like my grenade throw!
908: I'm a bit self-conscious about my grenade throw, I've got to admit!
909: Your grenade throw is bad and you should feel bad!
910: Your grenade throw is good but you should still feel bad!
911: Hello, police? Grenade!
912: Hey, you're not Melvin! You're a grenade!
913: (From all your squad mates, after they formed a barbershop quartet to kill the boredom) Grenade 🎵 Grenade 🎵 Grenade 🎵Greeeeeeeeeenaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaddddddddddeeeeeeeeeee🎶🎶🎶
914: Less you want to be mopped up, get out!
915: Unless you want yourself plastered against the ceiling, run!
916: Less you're ready to feed the crows, go!
917: Boogie! No, don't dance -- dancing won't save you from the grenade!
918: Don't get got by that grenade!
919: Someone get rid of that grenade, will you?
920: Maybe it's just the hunger talking, but I could eat that grenade.
921: Kick that grenade overboard!
922: Knock that filing cabinet onto the grenade!
923: Jump in the cupboard!
924: The best argument for a temporary retreat? That grenade.
925: We're about to get sara-NADE-ed!

(Goodness me, we're up to 950 and counting -- thank you @HazelMonforton for the retweet!

If you'd like to make the dream of 1003 real, then Like the original thread here:

We're almost there! Keep shining, stars 💫)
926: Looks like someone brought a grenade for show and tell!
927: You know the thing that's a bomb, but smaller and greener? Yeah.
928: Someone sign that kid to the Major League Grenade Throwers!
929: Hey, losers over there! Watch how good this kid can grenade you!
930: Go on kid, show 'em how you throw a grenade!
931: Explosbomb!
932: This ain't a sara-nade you wanna hear!
933: Lest you want them to stitch you together in Valhalla, run!
934: Brunhild is about to pick our pieces up!
935: We're about to be returned to dust.
936: What's a good 'running from a grenade' song? Yeah, sing that.
937: If a grenade is the size of a beach ball, is it still a grenade? I just want to know what my call out should be.
938: Looks like they had a grenade up their sleeve!
939: Someone's played the ace of grenades!
940: Don't gamble with the grenade, just run!
941: Grenade! Can't we just say it? Grenade!
942: Grenade! See? We don't need to say any more!
943: Bury that grenade!
944: Do I need to call out grenade if we're all ghosts anyway?
945: If you had no chance of escaping a grenade, would you want to know it was there? It's kinda relevant, yeah.
946: Look, if I have to think up some fancy pants way of saying "grenade" to warn you of your impending deaths, you're going to die. Like now. It's too late.
947: Grenade! But also a family of ducks crossing the road, on our only way out! Oh, what a dilemma!
948: What can I say about this grenade that hasn't been said before?
949: There's nothing I can say about this grenade that hasn't been said before.
950: Ask not for who the grenade rolls! It rolls for thee.

(So close! Once the Likes reach 975, I'll post the next set. The dream is still 1003! Once the dream is real, I'll write another grenade blog and record 103 barks. Keep it up -- we're so near! )
(We make that final climb to 1003! Afterward comes a blog post about this wild ride and a recording of the (in my estimation!) best 103.)

951: Simon Says -- everybody run from that grenade!
952: (From a squadmade who just left the restroom:) I wouldn't go in there for a bit if I were you. I, uh... I dropped a grenade.
953: (From a squadmate who takes the game too seriously) Grenade -- run! Hey -- hey wait! Stop! I didn't say Simon Says!
954: Let loose the grenades!
955: Ow! What the -- oh, you rotten kids! I swear, kids these days, throwing grenades…
956: What kind of frickin' chicken have they got over there, laying all these eggs?
957: What kind of frickin' chicken have they got over there, laying all these eggs?
958: I bought you a box of chocolates. Then I ate all the chocolates and replaced them with grenades.
959: Enade-Gray!
960: Gary's here!
961: Oh shit, it's Gary - run!
962: Gary just came in through the fuckin' window!
963: I see Gary on his way!
964: Get away from Gary!
965: It's Gary the Destroyer!
966: I should really get a restraining order against Gary…
967: From the squadmate who inevitably tries and fails to improve on the joke): Look out, it's Gerald! Gerald! You know, Ge-- GRENADE YOU IDIOTS!
968: (From a squadmate named Gary:) What? Did someone call me?

(From everyone else:) Not you, the grenade!
969: Gary just rolled up. Everybody out!
970: Oh, come on Gary! I said I never wanted to see you again!
971: A grenade! Watch, and in a single flash of light, it shall transform into -- Deadly Shrapnel!
972: What's the only thing worse than Gary? Two Garys.

(From the Batman): Oh no... Robin, run!

(From Robin:) What's wrong, Batman?

(From the Batman:) Shirley Temple. Famous child star, now remembered for the adult beverage: made with grenade-ine.

(From Robin:) Holy Periodic Table! Hm... Hydrogen... bomb? Helium... like a blown up balloon? Lith...

(From the Batman:) No, Robin. It's Grenadeium. Evacuate the citizens!

(From the Batman:) You... evil exploder of every-day citizens!

(From Robin:) What's wrong, Batman?

(Batman): It's a grenadium! Pull the pin, toss, and then... Ka-bloom.
976: (From a squadmate who really dislikes you:) …
977: Get the lead out!
979: Looks like the babies are throwing their toys!
980: At last! The sweet release of death!
981: That ain't a goddamn glitter bomb!
982: Here's one way to get the blood flowing!
983: Grenade! Just what you need to get the heart pumping!
984: (From Squadmate One:) We got a live one!

(From squadmate Two:) We'll have several dead ones if we don't run!
985: What are you gonna do, throw a grenade at -- OH MY GOD, DON'T ACTUALLY!
986: If you don’t leave me alone, I'm gonna throw a grenade at you... I mean it... Last chance! Okay, that's it!
987: (From a civilian, yelling at a bag snatcher fleeing your way:) Joke's on you! That's where I keep my grenades!
988: I shall make you cowards scatter -- with a grenade!
989: Flush them out -- get a grenade behind 'em!
992: TOSSER!
993: What'd you call me? I'll show you a tosser!
994: Egg 'em!
995: Trick or treat! No treat? Okay! Have a grenade then!
996: Good luck, little grenade!
997: Goodbye, friend grenade! I'll miss you!
998: (From a weary squadmate, after escaping a grenade:) If I ever see another grenade, it will be too soon.

(Later, from the same squadmate:) TOO SOON!
999: (From a female squadmate:) Oh fuck, a grenade!

(From a *that* awful male squadmate you're glad gets exploded:) Well, actually, I think you'll find...
1,000: I've said it once, I've said it twice, I've said it a thousand times: grenade!
1,001: What's the only thing worse than having to call out "grenade" a thousand times? Calling it out one thousand and one times!
1,002: No more grenades, please! No more! No -- no!!!
1,003: Grenade?

(So ends my list of 1,003 Grenade Barks. For all those who Liked the Tweet to get us here, I bless you in my heart. 💖

I've been asked why 1,003. To me, it's proof there's more. 1,000 is perfect, done; 1,003 means there's more out there. Just keep writing! 💫)
(Also! Want my freelance story & word magic? Get in touch! I'm part of @tale_spinners, the renowned outsource writing studio! 💫

I also write @OverTheAlpsGame, a 1939 Spy Thriller that's a modern call to action. Join our mailing list for more stories! 📯
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