snarke Profile picture
Will mock for food! Freelance writer, blogger, journalist. Civics nerd. She/Her
12 Mar
Okay, y'all here you go: the official #Trump National Address thread. The address is scheduled to start in about ten minutes. Let's do this thing.
Rumor has it the speech is a Kusher/Miller joint effort so gird your girdables, everybody. This could get real REAL bad.

#Trump #coronavirus
Okay here we go. We're less than a minute in and he's already out of breath. That's not great.

#Trump #Coronavirus
Read 17 tweets
21 Jan
Welcome to today's #Trump #ImpeachmentTrial thread (potentially one of a few)! I've been playing around with tags a little in other tweets this morning but for now, I'm going to stick with the two I've used here. That may change later on, though. Follow/mute at will!
Today is going to be procedural stuff. The Senate will have to approve the (completely BS) rules proposed by McConnell. Dems will offer amendments, of course, but since a simple majority rules I don't have a lot of hope any of the amendments will pass. #Trump #ImpeachmentTrial
For those of you just tuning in, McConnell is proposing that this trial have:

Zero witnesses
Zero admitted evidence
Ridiculously little time set aside for opening arguments and questions.
As little sunlight as possible.

#Trump #ImpeachmentTrial
Read 114 tweets
4 Dec 19
Okay folks, let's get this party started. Welcome to your #ImpeachmentHearing thread! For your following/muting needs, I'll be tagging these with #ImpeachmentInquiry, #ImpeachmentHearing, and/or #ImpeachingHearings.
Unlike the previous #ImpeachmentHearings, this hearing won't include witnesses to #Trump n' Co's shenanigans. Instead, this hearing is about legal and constitutional theory. It's a panel of nerds, folks, and I am HERE FOR IT.
Oh god. Jim Jordan just sat down. Thor save us all. #ImpeachmentHearing #ImpeachmentInquiry #ImpeachmentHearings
Read 171 tweets
14 Feb 19
To sum up today’s #Trump bullshittery: dude says he’ll sign the funding bill that just passed Congress AND will declare a (totes bogus btw) national emergency so that he doesn’t have to honor it.
Worse, the “conservatives” are all supporting this. Including MITCH MCCONNELL who now suddenly wants to sing about it like it’s free candy.

Aren’t y’all supposed to be AGAINST Federal Government overreach?!

Oh right. Not when you’re the ones doing it.

Jerks.

#TrumpShutdown
If he gets away with this now, you know his team is going to try to figure out how to use this new “national emergency” schtick to f*ck with the 2020 elections.

#Trump #TrumpShutdown
Read 4 tweets
12 Feb 19
Oh jeez. I should be threading these #TrumpRally tweets. Okay, that starts now! Here's the thread for your following/muting needs!
It's worth noting that this rally crowd is waving a bunch of campaign-made "Build the Wall" and "Finish the Wall" signs. So that's gonna be a thing we'll have to see in the world now.
Dear Whoever Put the Stones' "Sympathy for the Devil" on the pre-speech playlist,

You are the goddamned best.

<3, Me

#Trump #TrumpRally
Read 47 tweets
6 Feb 19
Okay, y’all: The SOTU is scheduled to start in about 15 minutes. Tags are #SOTU2019 and #Trump for your following/blocking/muting needs!

(Honestly I don’t know how much I’ll be tweeting, I think mostly I’ll just be sitting here swearing.)
Oh dear. Mike Pence is going to have to sit next to a woman who is not his wife. Will he be able to last the whole speech? Anybody got the over-under on how long it'll take him to lean so far away from her that he falls out of his chair?

#SOTU2019 #Trump
Also, if y'all want to skip my SOTU tweets, go ahead and add #SOTU to your tag list for following/muting needs, please! :)
Read 45 tweets
3 Feb 19
Time to watch and tweet the #SuperBowl!

This is the one sporting event I watch every year. Even though I don’t sports, the pageantry and hoopla are really fun!
IMPORTANT NOTE: while I’m aiming for funny, I’m *not* going to be mean. If you’re here for meanness, you’re going to be really bored and disappointed. #SuperBowl
Also I’m on my phone so I won’t be threading these tweets (after this one, anyway). I will be using the tag #SuperBowl, though, so follow/mute at will!
Read 3 tweets
28 Jan 19
Oh lord. There’s going to be a #SHSanders #WHPressBriefing today. It’s the first one of the year, the first since before the shutdown, and will likely be A Thing.

I’ll be watching & tweeting! Follow/mute at will!
Oh hey, looks like the #WHBriefing started relatively on time. I almost missed it! John Bolton said some stuff. Now It's Mnuchin's turn to say some stuff.

#SHSanders #Trump
Y'all, Mnuchin's suit is suuuuuuuuuper shiny. It's practically reflective.

#WHBriefing #SHSanders #Trump
Read 34 tweets
25 Jan 19
#Trump is going to speak in the Rose Garden any minute now. Is he going to lie a bunch about reopening the government? Is he just going to yell "no collusion! witch hunt!" over and over again? Both? Stay tuned!
Oh hell, #Trump is going to take questions too. This is going to be a sh*tshow.
#Trump is running about a half hour late. I wonder if he's spent this whole time on the phone with Ann Coulter, begging for permission to cave?
Read 17 tweets
24 Jan 19
Okay y’all, here we go (again). The Senate is voting on #Trump’s bill to reopen the government.

#ShutdownVote
Doesn’t look like it’s gonna make it, y’all. It needs 60 votes to pass and we’re already at 46 No votes.

Shocker.

#Trump #ShutdownVote
Now for the Dem’s bill to reopen the government. It already passed the house. Likelihood it will pass the Senate? Slim. Likelihood it will get signed by #Trump even if it does?

Well, I’d say slimmer, but dude wants to go on TV next week, so who knows?

#ShutdownVote
Read 6 tweets
19 Jan 19
#Trump starts his “major announcement” bragging about performing a swearing in ceremony in the oval office.

PEOPLE ARE NOT PROPS, JACKASS.

#TrumpAnnouncement
#Trump: Many mothers give their young daughters birth control for the long journey to America because they know they may be raped or assaulted.

The worst part of this? There’s no way to know whether it’s the birth control or the assaults that offend them.

#TrumpAnnouncement
#Trump is having trouble speaking. Somebody messed up his “Sudafed” dose.

#TrumpAnnouncement
Read 6 tweets
26 Sep 18
So #Trump is holding a news conference in about five minutes. I’ll be watching (and probably tweeting). Follow/mute at will!
Okay, #Trump has started speaking. He's already slurring. He's already made a joke about "a lot of......MEDIA.".

This does not bode well.
#Trump is now saying that China wants to "see me lose an election because they've never been challenged before."

It's not just China, pal.
Read 63 tweets