It occurred to me tonight that during the Pokemon Go craze a few years ago, a grand opportunity was missed for the app developer to store an abundance of rare Pokemon on Jonathan Franzen's estate and watch the hilarity ensue.
I don't think I've ever really needed confirmation that I'm a dork, but if I did, laughing at this tweet for the past several minutes is probably sufficient.
"Digital Beasts Unbecome Us: A Personal Hell" by Jonathan Franzen, for the May 13, 2016 edition of The New Yorker
"On an ordinary Tuesday morning, my binoculars aloft and gazing through wisps of tree branches at a peculiar White-breasted Nuthatch, two adolescents suddenly emerged from the foliage with their cellular devices. I have never felt so uneasy and so bloodless in my flesh."
"The pre-adults, perspiring and gallivanting on my property, inquired about the presence of some sort of digital hallucination called a Bul-buh-saur. It is then I knew that the great heft of the cultural experiment called the United States had succumbed to gravity infinitum."
"I recall what Nietzsche warned regarding preference of 'the beautiful to the useful', and as the youths swarmed my garden--carefully tended on many an afternoon, lovingly beheld from the view of my office typewriter--I must admit that my thoughts briefly turned homicidal."
