Thread by @oftenimprudent

Hey Guardian/#镇魂 fam! So I see an increasing number of non-native Chinese speakers creeping into the fandom (A+ plague vectoring all) so I figured I'd give ya'll a couple of generalized "writing about Chinese characters" tips.

Chinese names are arranged [Surname] [Given Name]. With very, very rare exceptions, Chinese surnames are single characters -- in this case, Shen from Shen Wei and Zhao from Zhao Yunlan.

Tagging onto this, technically, Shen Wei's given name -- BY KUNLUN SOB -- is "Wei," but to the Chinese ear, it sounds incredibly strange for someone with a single-character surname to be called by simply that, so they'll be called by their full name barring nicknames etc.

Not the case for Zhao Yunlan, whose given name, Yunlan is a two character name, so it feels "normal" to call him Yunlan -- but only at a certain level of familiarity.

What I mean is, let's say my name in Chinese is Wang Xifeng. My surname being Wang, Xifeng is my given name. Maybe my parents call me XiXi (duplicating a character as a nickname). Maybe my partner calls me Xiao-Feng (adding a "xiao" diminutive nickname).

My very, very good friends might call me Xifeng, but they'd need to be at nearly family levels -- even best friend tier people would be calling me full name Wang Xifeng. For more formal relationships, that's when titles come in.

For example, in our Guardian universe, Shen Wei would generally be called 沈老师 or 沈教授 (either Teacher Shen or Professor Shen) by almost everybody who knows him, even only socially.

(Zhao Yunlan being a slutty dirtbag who is trying to get busy with that, goes straight for the familiarity of the name no title, and then has the audacity to sass back around with the FULL title sucking on a lollipop. OUR SHARED ANCESTORS ARE ASHAMED OF YOU, ZHAO YUNLAN.)

Then there's the level of stuff I'm calling "Chinese people are weird perverts and I cannot deny the overt incest issues at play here," which is that for reasons that defy me, My People refer to their crushes by "Brother."

So let's say I, Wang Xifeng, have a crush on Zhao Yunlan (read: fact I love me some dirtbags heck yeah), I would probably touch him a lot and also call him either "Yunlan-ge" or "Yun-ge" or "Lan-ge," all of which close with "ge," meaning brother.

Adding the SECOND "ge" to make it "gege" is an EXTREMELY dirt nasty thing to do, because while "ge" can be a completely non-flirty nicknaming convention for a man, going full "gege" -- to quote a great Chinese history hoe I know, puts you in full "17TH CENTURY PROSTITUTE" mode.

(Sidebar: it's been requested I inform all of you that the Chinese name for viagra is Wei-Ge, so you know. If you are having someone call Shen Wei "gege" -- vom -- in any capacity DO NOT make it in the Wei-ge capacity. You've all been informed. Go with God.)

The other element of this entire "ge" vs "gege" shenanigans is that it's very gendered. So let's say Shen Wei found a friend somewhere. I don't know where. Some OTHER PERSON, and they called him Shen-ge -- legit and while bro-y and not suitable for his personality, still A OK.

For a woman to call him "ge" or "gege" becomes a more or less instantly romantic or sexualized overture. For a man to call him "gege," if that man is not like a CHILD and using it as a legit title, it is VERY sex and penises. Guess who calls Shen Wei "gege" in the book.

(Double extra sidebar: actually, Zhao Yunlan calls him "好哥哥," which evidently is an unfathomly dirtier version of that that fortunately, I am Too Pure to understand.)

So to go over some of the potential naming conventions you have at your disposal, I find myself in the position of so many people talking about Chinese grammar: there's no real grammar, there's just a bunch of different standard configurations. [jazz hands through the tears]

Nickname Options:
- Add "Xiao" to the beginning of one of the given name characters/syllables
- Duplicate one of the given name characters/syllables
- Add "ge" (if you're a bro to another bro or a gal to a guy, MIGHT be romantic)
- Add "gege" (if yous a hoe)
(cont'd)

- Add "Lao" (or "old") as a prefix to a surname (not necessarily gendered for the SPEAKER but generally gendered for the NAMED PERSON, ie: women can call call someone Lao Shen but you would not likely call a woman Lao Wang)
- Professional titles
I'M SORRY THIS LANGUAGE SUCKS

AND FINALLY -- circling back to "gege" because I know you people are thirsty: even the use of this is specific and individual. For example, being a legit human being, I would rather claw my own eyes out rather than call someone "gege" out loud using my human mouth hole.

Unless we were literally fucking and I felt like being just DISGUSTING mid-coitus, that is not a term that would ever cross my lips.

Now please remember that scene in Ep 28 of Guardian when Zhao Yunlan went up an octave and sing-songed "Black Cloak-gege!"

HE A HOE.

FIN.