1. Dr. Ford, you are a committed liberal, correct?
2. And it’s true you wouldn’t want Future Justice Kavanaugh on SCOTUS because of his conservative judicial philosophy regardless of the alleged incident?
4. Are they working for free, or do you intend to pay them with the several hundred thousand dollars the various GoFundMe campaigns in your name have raised?
6. So, Dr. Ford, let’s get to the basics. Exactly what day and time did this incident happen?
8. How many people were in the house at the time?
9. In 2012, your therapist wrote down that there were four people in the room. Why would she do that if you didn’t tell her that?
11. If they might not remember because the party was nothing special, how often did you and your pals go to houses with a bunch of boys and get drunk?
13. As a psychologist, will you concede that alcohol inebriation will make a teenager’s memory unreliable?
15. You say you left the house without telling anyone. Doesn’t that seem like something odd that your female friend would remember?
17. And you didn’t call the cops, right?
18. You didn’t tell your parents?
19. You didn’t even tell your friends?
23. Did Future Justice Kavanaugh slap you around like a Democrat congressman from Minnesota?
24. Did Future Justice Kavanaugh drive hammered and leave you to drown in an Oldsmobile?
26. You wanted to remain anonymous, right?
27. You sent a letter to your congresswoman in July, right?
29. You say you took a lie detector test in August, right?
30. But you contacted the Washington Post, but did you really think they would do anything about it before you gave them your name?
32. You never intended to remain anonymous, did you?
[“Mr. Chairman, can you have the beta male dressed as a handmaid dragged out so I can continue?”]
33. Are you aware that people are calling you “brave”?
35. And are you aware that Anita Hill has been celebrated as a brave liberal hero since the Justice Thomas hearings?
37. As a psychologist, you are aware that sometimes people enjoy the spotlight?
[“Mr. Chairman, I need to pause to let Senator Spartacus take a call from T-Bone.”]
40. How do you account for the fact that not one single person, besides you, has claimed that Future Justice Kavanaugh has ever tackled someone and tried to rip off her clothes?
42. No one allegedly in the house for the alleged party corroborates your story. Why would they all lie?
44. And, of course, no one corroborates Stripper Matlock’s story, right?
45. So, why are you lying?