In 2008 I was a pimply faced lawyer fresh out of law school. I went to the Federal High Court for a matter. While waiting for the court to sit, another lawyer and I began chatting. On and on we rambled about different things: how young lawyers were underpaid, court procedures,
the bar exams, etc. This was sometime in March, which was close to the end of the period for the payment of practicing fees. He asked if I had paid my practicing fees and I said I hadn't. Unbeknownst to me, this dude was the adverse counsel in the matter I had come to attend.
Apparently, this doofus wasn't prepared to go on with the matter. So when the case was called and we announced appearance, he stood and told the court I had no right of audience as I hadn't paid my practicing fees. I was dumbfounded. How could he do this to me?!
He took his receipt for payment of practicing fees out of his pocket and waved it triumphantly in court for all to see. "My Lord, I am a law abiding lawyer and I know the importance of paying practicing fees, so once it was time I paid mine, my Lord.
No lawyer should be granted audience without paying practicing fees", he said. The judge asked if I had paid my practicing fees and I replied that I hadn't but would do so as soon as I left the court. The judge attempted some leniency to enable me go on with the matter.
But the lawyer wouldn't stand for it. He riled up other lawyers who said allowing me to appear before the court without payment of practicing fees would be a violation of the Legal Practitioners Act. The judge's hands were tied and the matter was adjourned.
I was disappointed because I had drafted and filed a sweet motion I was looking forward to move. So, off I went and paid my practicing fees afterwards. By the next adjourned date the lawyer had prepared a robust response to my motion as he had seen all my cards, so to speak.
Guess what. I saw him today during lunch at the conference. I looked him dead in the eye and immediately he recognized me. He started smiling sheepishly. "Counsel! Na you be dis?! I hope you're not still holding a grudge about that issue that happened all those years ago."
Of course I was holding a grudge. He cost me a very well written motion! I wanted to get back at him and so I did but not in the way you think. I'm a civilized gentleman. I don't engage in arguments and fights in public. I settle feuds in a civilized manner.
So I got a spoon and a plate and I scooped all the meat off his plate.
Moral of the story: When settling feuds, don't shout or fight your adversaries in public. Take all the meat from their plate. It's more hurtful. And also, attend international conferences. Your enemies and the opportunity to get vengeance may be waiting for you there.
