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Seven years ago, I began writing #Letr2Jack & #Letr2Jil because I knew the devastating consequences of bad relationship and marriage choices. I've about covered every topic, from sex to inlaws, to divorce and everything in between. Over 600 letters in all. 
I'm drawing the curtain on @JacknJilLive but the past issues will remain available at jacknjillive.com. I'll also compile key topics as e-books. However, I believe what is needed now is a strategic focus on business development, because of the times.
Having built @AlderConsulting from the ground up and consulted for high profile corporations, I believe I'm in a unique position to offer critical advice to SMEs.
1. My dear Jack, here’s the first question: #Letr2Jack
2. Did your relationship improve or deteriorate during the lockdown? #Letr2Jack
3. If your relationship improved it means you need to spend more time together. The time together did you good, made you appreciate each other more. You probably saw her in a new light, saw the effort she puts into your home. #Letr2Jack
1. My dear Jack, she can’t eat her cake and have it. How does she expect it to work? #Letr2Jack
2. She’s already told you you’re not the one. How she arrived at the conclusion is irrelevant. The conclusion is the conclusion. Whether God spoke to her or she heard a voice, or a prophet proclaimed is beside the point. #Letr2Jack
3. The only reality you’re facing is that the girl you’ve dated for close to a year and had hoped to marry says she can’t marry you. She says you’re not the one. #Letr2Jack
1. My dear Jack, you’ll recall that only last week we were discussing about responsibility. Well, the subject is even more germane now given the Coronavirus pandemic. #Letr2Jack
2. The world is shutting down, parts of the world have shut down. The world is mourning. And the mighty have not been spared. Corona has penetrated palaces. #Letr2Jack
3. You’ve got to exercise a sense of responsibility to your family, and to society at large. You have to think of others. Don’t expose yourself unnecessarily to contamination. That’s irresponsible. #Letr2Jack
1. My dear Jack, congratulations on the birth of your baby. It can be a strange experience for men. A young man I know began to walk the median of a highway upon learning he’s a dad. He was going nowhere in particular. He was just disoriented. #Letr2Jack
2. Fatherhood requires some adjustment. Unlike your wife you’ve not had any physical contact with this baby until now. If you don’t feel an immediate bond with the baby that’s understandable. It will come. #Letr2Jack
3. Bonding with a baby often starts as responsibility for men. Men in general tend to relate better with their child as the baby gets older. Though some men are natural. They bond immediately. #Letr2Jack
1. Dear Jack, yes, I saw the video you sent. #Letr2Jack
2. If you know anything about marriage or life that video has to be very troubling. I hope the bride didn’t mean that marriage vow, that she was just joking. She had substituted “For richer, for richer” for “For richer, for poorer.” #Letr2Jack
3. Just so I wasn’t mistaken I showed the video to other people, wanting their opinion. The conclusion was unanimous – she’s in it for the money, if there’s no money she’s out! #Letr2Jack
1. My dear Jack, you’ve got to pace yourself. You can’t take on too much of life at once. You can’t gourmandize on life. You’ll vomit life. Pace yourself. #Letr2Jack
2. Learn how to manage your day for example. Learn how to manage your workload. Workload requires management. Don’t push too hard so you don’t break down. Pace yourself. #Letr2Jack
3. Life will never be smooth and perfect. As you resolve one end of life another goes out of alignment. And there are many nodes. The reason life can’t be perfect at the local level is because there are too many factors at play. #Letr2Jack
1. My dear Jack, you’re still not getting it are you? Let me see if I can help you see it. #Letr2Jack
2. Relationships are at different levels. Friendships come at different depths. #Letr2Jack
3. Some friendships are surface reality friendships. You can’t count on such people. These are friends of happenstance. You get to meet someone at social functions and you banter inanities each time you meet... Nothing serious. The relationship is facile. #Letr2Jack
My dear Jack and Jil, I present a few nuggets from my letters to you this year. Here they are:
1. Marriage is not supposed to be difficult. Marry someone you can get along with. #Letr2Jil
2. Don’t marry someone with the hope of changing the person. That’s rather presumptuous. #Letr2Jack
1. My dear Jack, I did promise to do you a letter on how to be a good student. Here I am fulfilling my promise. You can share it with your friends. #Letr2Jack
2. I’m of course writing with the benefit of hindsight. And I have the benefit of life and experience. #Letr2Jack
3. You have to take a larger view of school if you want to succeed in life. University is that phase of life for the development of critical capacities for success. You don’t go to school to learn how to fail, you go to school to potentiate yourself for success. #Letr2Jack
1. My dear Jack, it is the saying of the elders that the head of a new born should not suffer cranial misadventure when elders are in the market place. #Letr2Jack
2. When your neighbour is greedily gulping down termites by day the wise among you ought to restrain him, another adage says. If not, no one will sleep comfortably at night. #Letr2Jack
3. My dear Jack, you’re gulping down termites. For the sake of sonorous sleep for the rest of us I shall address your relationship issues. They are fundamental. Right now you’re the vision of a lavatory Olympian. Your termite consumption is heavy. #Letr2Jack
1. My dear Jack, sorry I couldn’t reply your mail earlier. You know how busy my schedule can be. #Letr2Jack
2. If you go back to that movie we spoke about, you’ll see how clueless men can be. #Letr2Jack
3. There was a clip in the movie in which the man’s wife and his girlfriend had a discussion about the feasibility of the love triangle. #Letr2Jack
1. My dear Jack, I’d say take the job. #Letr2Jack
2. It’s not the dream job you want but it’s advisable to take it. You’ve got to start somewhere. The longer it takes to start your first job the more difficult things become. #Letr2Jack
3. Besides, you can’t have a huge gap on your CV. Employers count that negatively. No one will tell you but that’s the truth. You’ll be queried about it at your job interview. #Letr2Jack
1. My dear Jack, there are things called “issues of life.” You must be mindful of them. #Letr2Jack
2. There are values you should subscribe to – honesty, loyalty, trust, integrity... They’re kind of like family. Indeed they’re cousins. #Letr2Jack
3. They’re best understood within the context of real world scenarios, case studies. Sometimes they’re even better understood when we consider the antonyms. #Letr2Jack
1. My dear Jack, that’s rather ostrobogulous! Boy, it’s weird! But what do you expect? #Letr2Jack
2. Look, every once in a while we all feel down. It’s either things are not going our way, or there’s a delay of some sort, or some disappointment. These things happen. They’re expected. We don’t control the variables of life. #Letr2Jack
3. When our partner is down it’s our duty to step in, to bridge the gap through care and concern. Expressing affection to someone is not always about feelings. Sometimes it’s a duty. There’s a dutiful dimension. #Letr2Jack
1. My dear Jack, in my last letter I explained to you that life is going to happen to your generation. It happens to every generation. #Letr2Jack
2. Every generation imagines they can reinvent life. Only nobody can reinvent life. Life has a constancy. You can reinvent culture, you can reinvent mores... But life itself? No, you can’t. It is governed by immutable laws. #Letr2Jack
3. And this is how you know. If you’ve taken time to look at life generationally, talk to the older generation, even much older generation... You’ll have noticed every generation has troubles. #Letr2Jack
1. My dear Jack, at some point you’ll have to ask yourself what your wife really wants. Note that it’s not a generic thing common to all women. It’s something peculiar to her, something particularly her. #Letr2Jack
2. When you know what that thing is – and chances are she’ll have told you in one of your conversations, then you have to look at the implications, understand the implications. #Letr2Jack
3. If your wife for example tells you she “just wants to be happy,” commonsense dictates that’s not giddiness she’s talking about. It’s something deep, probably goes to her childhood. #Letr2Jack
1. My dear Jack, part of my responsibility as mentor is to share life experiences with you, share life principles. #Letr2Jack
2. The whole idea is to prevent you from making my mistakes, help you avoid the missteps of others, and to turbocharge your journey. #Letr2Jack
3. Mentoring gives you tuition. Better to learn by tuition than through experience. Experience can be very costly, even deadly. Not everyone survives experience. If you’re eliminated in the process of learning the knowledge does you no good. #Letr2Jack
1. My dear Jack, you’re not being wise, are you? Your girlfriend suffers bouts of insecurity and you proceed to regal her with tales about your last girlfriend?! #Letr2Jack
2. Even if your girlfriend doesn’t have bouts of insecurity why would you be telling her about the wonderfulness of your last relationship? Aren’t old things passed away? #Letr2Jack
3. Of course she’s bound to think you’re still in love with her. What else do you want her to think? And women are very sensitive to that question: Are you still with her or not? #Letr2Jack
1. My dear Jack, you should aim for a fantastic relationship with your wife, your marriage shouldn’t be perfunctory, mechanical or humdrum. That’s terrible for a young marriage. #Letr2Jack
2. Marriage ought to be fun. There ought to be happiness, or what’s the point! #Letr2Jack
3. I’m assuming of course you guys love each other. A marriage doesn’t make sense without love. You’ll be locked up in a mechanical contraption with someone you have no affection for. #Letr2Jack
1. My dear Jack, the reason you fell into this trap is because you dated without recourse to reference. #Letr2Jack
2. What do I mean by that? It’s like when you apply for a job. Your new employer will write your old employer for an opinion about you. You’re also asked to provide referees. #Letr2Jack
3. These are not just formalities. They’re sources of intelligence. At that point in time those referees know more about you than what your new employer could have extracted in interviews. #Letr2Jack
1. I don’t know if you’ve ever met an angered woman. No, I’m not talking of a pugnacious, truculent or quarrelsome woman with feisty temperament. I’m talking about a woman angered by her husband. It’s a state of being. She’s just had enough. #Letr2Jack
2. You’ll find this with some women in their fifties. They’ve taken enough. They’ve become totally rebellious to the idea of their marriage. They reduce it to dutiful proportions. #Letr2Jack
3. They’re tired of being cheated on, being spat upon, tired of their husband not believing enough in them. They’re tired of men bullying them with wealth or status, degrading their gender. #Letr2Jack
#Letr2Jack – SUCCESS AND MARRIAGE starts now.
1. Dear Jack, two friends got married. One became successful, the other struggled to succeed. Yet both their marriages failed. Moral: both success and failure can produce a failed marriage. #Letr2Jack
2. We tend to imagine only lack can break a marriage, but success can also break a marriage. It’s sad but true. Partners have to be mindful of the effect of success on their marriage. #Letr2Jack
#Letr2Jack – DON'T WASTE YOUR YOUTH starts now.
1. My dear Jack, I must confess I read your mail with a tinge of sadness. How do you do that to a woman? #Letr2Jack
2. You dated this young woman for two years, all the while sleeping with her and impregnating her. And now she’s suddenly no good for you. Meanwhile you were the one who insisted she keep the pregnancy. #Letr2Jack
