Thread by @innocent

RULES OF DECEMBER
1. Chocolate must be kept behind tiny doors
2. All bells must jingle
3. Days are to be renamed 'sleeps'
4. Shopping is now an extreme sport
5. GOLD RINGS
6. Mariah Carey will follow you everywhere
7. The following emojis are now acceptable🎄❄️☃️🎁
#December1st

8. Deodorant and shower gel become popular gifts
9. So do Frankincense and Myrrh
10. Lords a'leaping
11. All hats must be made of paper
12. All puddings must be set on fire
13. All halls must be decked
14. All screwdrivers must be shrunk
15. Trees must live inside the house

16. TV adverts are now acceptable subjects of small talk
17. All oranges must be brown and made of chocolate
18. Garden sheds become grottos
19. The end of the Sellotape will be impossible to find
20. Michael Bublé appears on every TV channel

21. Robins must lay eggs
22. Batmobiles must lose wheels
23. Thermostat settings become highly contested
24. One horse open sleighs are now a mode of transport
25. So are camels
26. The Argos catalogue becomes a must-read

27. Garish novelty jumpers become high fashion
28. Socks are to be stored above the fireplace
29. Reindeer can now fly
30. You must eat a sprout (sorry-we don’t make the rules)