Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;
Allegations were slung without any care,
In hopes that the president soon would despair;
While visions of impeachment danced in their heads;
But Pelosi -- in her dress -- soon set her trap,
And simply settled down for a long winter's nap,
I sprang from my chair to see what was the matter.
And then he appeared, he was there in a flash,
It gave me the shudders, My teeth I did gnash.
I knew in a moment it was Chairman Schiff.
More eager than beavers his minions they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
On, WATERS! on CLYBURN! on, SWALWELL! (And Wolf Blitzer)?
It is Trump we will scorch! Forget about the wall!
Now bash away! trash away! Slapdash away all!"
His cheeks were like roses, his nose almost scary!
His sad little mouth was drawn taught as a crossbow,
His words imprecise, his delivery slow;
And I groaned when I saw him, and thought ‘What a chump’;
The mania in his eyes, and slight twist of his head,
Soon filled me with nothing -- nothing but dread;
And lied through his teeth; oh, what a jerk,
Flipping his finger and thumbing his nose,
He tried to run roughshod over those he’d oppose;
And they all fell in line as the president bristled.
I heard him exclaim, ere he was done for the night,
HAPPY IMPEACHMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD-NIGHT!