Me, opens up pizza stone from new in box
9: I didn't know you had that
M: yeah, I bought it before I met your dad
9: you have had this for 50 years and never opened it?
M: closer to 20 years
9: daaaad, mom has a secret hidden pizza stone
M: it's called "putting it away"
9: I didn't know you had that
M: yeah, I bought it before I met your dad
9: you have had this for 50 years and never opened it?
M: closer to 20 years
9: daaaad, mom has a secret hidden pizza stone
M: it's called "putting it away"
Our boys are in the recycle bin pretending to be prairie dogs.
Very, very loud and giggly prairie dogs.
Very, very loud and giggly prairie dogs.
Our house has a lovely sense of balance.
For example, the amount of time required to get one of our children into the bath is approximately the same amount of time required to get said child out of the bath.
In the case of 7, it's an hour.
For example, the amount of time required to get one of our children into the bath is approximately the same amount of time required to get said child out of the bath.
In the case of 7, it's an hour.
We have a growing stack of casualties waiting for the Great Pillow Fort War field hospital to open.
Why yes, we are snuggled under a Star Wars blanket for our #MayThe4th reading time.
We had...a jalapeño incident.
7 tried to resolve it with a handful of guac.
He was not successful.
7 tried to resolve it with a handful of guac.
He was not successful.
My home office desk chair broke because of course it did.
😐
😐
I don't think these will survive until Saturday.
Boys gobbled more than a dozen just in the time it took me to bake them.
Boys gobbled more than a dozen just in the time it took me to bake them.
My husband keeps feeding me things I'm allergic to.
I'm going to look an interesting shade of puffy and flakey for #BreakfastWithTiffany 😂
I'm going to look an interesting shade of puffy and flakey for #BreakfastWithTiffany 😂
Me: 7, it's too cold to go outside in a tank top and shorts
7: I'M INVINCIBLE!
Me: sure
*fast forward 6 minutes, 7 comes running inside and runs back outside in shorts, his ski jacket, and ski gloves*
Me: your legs will be cold
7: legs don't matter mom
7: I'M INVINCIBLE!
Me: sure
*fast forward 6 minutes, 7 comes running inside and runs back outside in shorts, his ski jacket, and ski gloves*
Me: your legs will be cold
7: legs don't matter mom
Nothing good comes of children wearing bike helmets in the house.
Nothing.
Nothing.
Boys got Beastmaster for their #GenX movie tonight.
I forgot how scary the liquify hug people are. Oops. 😂
I forgot how scary the liquify hug people are. Oops. 😂
9: I'm bad at limbo
Me: ok
9:
Me:...
9:
Me:
9: I thought you should know
Me: ok
9:
Me:...
9:
Me:
9: I thought you should know
It's a challenge to fall back asleep when you were woken up by being kicked the face by a 7 year old who decides they need your bed at 3 am.
9 is now attempting to bargain to not do school work
9: It's getting late, I have to start on dinner
Me: it's 130, aren't you supposed to be in a zoom meeting?
9: do you like pot roast?
Me: you do not know how to make pot roast, get to your homework
9: can I mow the lawn?
9: It's getting late, I have to start on dinner
Me: it's 130, aren't you supposed to be in a zoom meeting?
9: do you like pot roast?
Me: you do not know how to make pot roast, get to your homework
9: can I mow the lawn?
This was exactly as bad as you would guess.
1/10 do not recommend.
1/10 do not recommend.
I just reached whatever pandemic level is ordering a DVD of the Gnome-mobile.
I went shopping at a store for the first time since March 13.
Nearly everyone was masked up.
They had most of the things I needed/wanted, but probably would not for some later in the day.
...and I got a flat tire 😂
Nearly everyone was masked up.
They had most of the things I needed/wanted, but probably would not for some later in the day.
...and I got a flat tire 😂
$5 fix, but might be 30 minutes.
Seriously questioning my decision-making for the amount of frozen products in my vehicle right now.
Did I mention it's a glorious, warmish day?
Someone please genie-zap me from a tire center to my hammock.
Seriously questioning my decision-making for the amount of frozen products in my vehicle right now.
Did I mention it's a glorious, warmish day?
Someone please genie-zap me from a tire center to my hammock.
Unintentional tire center #MaineRaising
Rethinking that impulse squirt gun assortment purchase for the boys.
Rethinking that impulse squirt gun assortment purchase for the boys.
I made a pasta salad today.
I prefer not sweet pasta salads so I omitted the sugar.
I did not realize that the sugar was balancing the vinegar; this was incredibly unfortunate.
I have added maple syrup.
It is now edible.
Moral of the story: Maple syrup fixes most food ills.
I prefer not sweet pasta salads so I omitted the sugar.
I did not realize that the sugar was balancing the vinegar; this was incredibly unfortunate.
I have added maple syrup.
It is now edible.
Moral of the story: Maple syrup fixes most food ills.
I have not been in charge of the garden for a couple of years.
Given the great care taken for my planters, I shall be reclaiming my domain.
Given the great care taken for my planters, I shall be reclaiming my domain.
9: mom, I'm going to make dinner!
Me: k
9, reappears *40 minutes* later: mom, do we have all the ingredients for this?
Me: it's 7 pm and that's not a dinner item
9: mom, if you try hard enough, ANYTHING can be dinner
Me: k
9, reappears *40 minutes* later: mom, do we have all the ingredients for this?
Me: it's 7 pm and that's not a dinner item
9: mom, if you try hard enough, ANYTHING can be dinner
I have a sore spot on my hip from gardening that has become a sleep nemesis and I would very much like to speak to the manager of my 40s.
I shared this information with 7 and 9 during home schooling today.
The following 30 minute conversation on proposed hunting techniques wasn't super productive, but was very joyful for them.
The following 30 minute conversation on proposed hunting techniques wasn't super productive, but was very joyful for them.
It appears someone had an incident opening the honey.
Curses, foiled again!
Curses, foiled again!
It's a miss the pan sort of day.
Thanks, 2020.
Thanks, 2020.
If there is an avocado toast version of quesadillas, that is our dinner tonight.
I have tree in my hair.
I do not know what most of these seeds are...so I planted them and we'll see 😂
My husband is trying to hang a pot rack that has been on the kitchen floor for several months.
I am resisting the urge to film this with all my might.
I am resisting the urge to film this with all my might.
Cozy fit, but the extra storage is very much appreciated.
I was just woken up by drama cat sitting uncomfortably close to me and still while making chirping noises reminiscent of the dinosaurs hunting in Jurassic Park.
It was every bit as horrifying as you are imagining coming out of a sound sleep to that.
It was every bit as horrifying as you are imagining coming out of a sound sleep to that.
We are nearing the end of the annual month-long festival known as "the great turn the heater off for the season war".
I've had enough internet for today.
It is time to Gnome-mobile.
It is time to Gnome-mobile.
Today is a big duck day.
I broke my unicorn.
I've had this since I was a little girl. I asked Santa for a unicorn and got this with a note that the unicorns were too busy playing so this was the best he could do. Decades and thousands of miles to be done in by the Gnome-mobile.
I broke my unicorn.
I've had this since I was a little girl. I asked Santa for a unicorn and got this with a note that the unicorns were too busy playing so this was the best he could do. Decades and thousands of miles to be done in by the Gnome-mobile.
Drama cat likes musicals with gnomes.
Who knew?
(Don't mind the winter comforter I haven't lugged to storage yet)
Who knew?
(Don't mind the winter comforter I haven't lugged to storage yet)
We're BBQing in the yard.
From the festive and colorful arguments between drivers with their windows rolled down on the road, I have determined it is officially summer.
We just had a 3+ car verbal spat, resplendent with much stepped on lego language and a symphony of horns.
From the festive and colorful arguments between drivers with their windows rolled down on the road, I have determined it is officially summer.
We just had a 3+ car verbal spat, resplendent with much stepped on lego language and a symphony of horns.
The boys are watching The Happiest Millionaire tonight and are *enthralled* with the idea of all movies having an intermission so they can grab snacks.
The boys convinced my husband to let them watch The Cable Guy as their #GenX movie tonight.
Trying to explain that they cannot eat all meals with their fingers and swordfight after has been...unsuccessful.
I guess hooray that Medieval Times isn't a thing in Maine. 😂
Trying to explain that they cannot eat all meals with their fingers and swordfight after has been...unsuccessful.
I guess hooray that Medieval Times isn't a thing in Maine. 😂
I anticipate extra bedtime steps tonight.
7 has found his new favorite spot.
...and then there were two.
Husband chose tonight's #GenX movie.
Kids are very excited to watch a movie based on getting out of school to play.
Kids are very excited to watch a movie based on getting out of school to play.
We could all use a plucky reboot of Matthew Broderick playing hooky from 2020.
Tonight is a make corn chowder and dance to a Prince/Lenny Kravitz mix night.
By request, chowder recipe.
Over medium heat cook through in olive oil 3 large chicken breasts that have been cubed until no pink
Add 2 large chopped onions and 1/2 bulb of garlic minced, cook until onions soften
Add 2 tsp cumin, 1.5 tsp salt, 1 tsp pepper...
Over medium heat cook through in olive oil 3 large chicken breasts that have been cubed until no pink
Add 2 large chopped onions and 1/2 bulb of garlic minced, cook until onions soften
Add 2 tsp cumin, 1.5 tsp salt, 1 tsp pepper...
Add 4 cups chicken broth, 4 cups milk, 12 cups frozen corn (with the first 4 cup batch, fill to top of corn with heavy cream - you could replace this with 2 cans creamed corn, but I don't like it 😂).
Corn starch slurry to desired thickness.
Hot sauce to desired heat.
Corn starch slurry to desired thickness.
Hot sauce to desired heat.
Just before serving swirl in a dollop of sour cream if you like it rich.
If you want a heartier chowder, add in 4 cups chopped potatoes softened in the microwave at the onion step.
It's pretty calorie heavy, so only an every once and a bit soup.
If you want a heartier chowder, add in 4 cups chopped potatoes softened in the microwave at the onion step.
It's pretty calorie heavy, so only an every once and a bit soup.
7's new aversion technique for home school is something that is best described as "yodel-whining".
It won't be successful, but I'm glad he's merging exploring musical styles with his protest mechanism.
It won't be successful, but I'm glad he's merging exploring musical styles with his protest mechanism.
It's been a little over 15 years since I last cut my husband's hair, which resulted in some interesting wedding photos.
He's apparently developed amnesia regarding my hair cutting skills and finally begged enough I cut it.
Fortunately this haircut will not be in wedding photos.
He's apparently developed amnesia regarding my hair cutting skills and finally begged enough I cut it.
Fortunately this haircut will not be in wedding photos.
I see today is shaping up to be a destroy my dress with swiss cheese as I trip while on the phone with Court and try to catch an omelette as I am lunging toward the table and not making obvious to everyone on the call my lack of gracefulness sort of day.
#momprobs
#momprobs
9: you are 43 and dad is 42, that means you are 85 and too old for my video game
Me: let me show you The Oregon Trail
9: mom
Me: tetris?
9: mom
Me: shadowgate?
9: that doesn't even sound like a real game mom
Me: oh, it's real and it's spectacular
Me: let me show you The Oregon Trail
9: mom
Me: tetris?
9: mom
Me: shadowgate?
9: that doesn't even sound like a real game mom
Me: oh, it's real and it's spectacular
I just spent an hour tucking in 7.
He was playing with a calculator and asked about the cosine button.
I tried to explain it, but we left off at there being a hippopotamus on a triangle and that the virus makes it hard to go to the zoo - and monkeys have arms like parentheses.
He was playing with a calculator and asked about the cosine button.
I tried to explain it, but we left off at there being a hippopotamus on a triangle and that the virus makes it hard to go to the zoo - and monkeys have arms like parentheses.
The boys got one of those fishing pole cat toys for drama cat.
She has now commandeered said toy and what you are witnessing is the last little bit of cat fishing rod being pulled down into her basement lair. 😂
She has now commandeered said toy and what you are witnessing is the last little bit of cat fishing rod being pulled down into her basement lair. 😂
I had a minor surgery today that left me with 10 staples in my scalp.
I think my Frankenstein head is the coolest I have ever been to the boys.
I think my Frankenstein head is the coolest I have ever been to the boys.
Unlike a good stew, scalp staples are not better the second day.
It's peak strawberry season in Maine.
I wanted to do something fun with the boys, so I thought we'd make a big vat of jam. I bought 3 dozen jars - 2 dozen for a flat or two of strawberries, and an extra dozen for raspberries from the yard.
I wanted to do something fun with the boys, so I thought we'd make a big vat of jam. I bought 3 dozen jars - 2 dozen for a flat or two of strawberries, and an extra dozen for raspberries from the yard.
...except that's not what I actually ordered.
I ordered 32 oz jars.
That, my friends, is a lot of freaking jam.
So I guess we'll be having blueberry too. 😂
I ordered 32 oz jars.
That, my friends, is a lot of freaking jam.
So I guess we'll be having blueberry too. 😂
The afternoon activity with 7 and 9 is making jam.
Can you help with a conundrum twitter?
If you put the jam in the jar, and the seal pops in while you are waiting for the water to boil...do you still have to seal it?
The internet has advice for the opposite problem. 😂
Can you help with a conundrum twitter?
If you put the jam in the jar, and the seal pops in while you are waiting for the water to boil...do you still have to seal it?
The internet has advice for the opposite problem. 😂
I admit this was an obscene amount of time and money for this much jam.
Nonetheless, we have jam.
Nonetheless, we have jam.
After 2 years of asking me to make him duck, I am attempting to cook duck for 9 for dinner tonight.
Does anyone have a good duck recipe?
Does anyone have a good duck recipe?
I'm not optimistic about this duck.
I had to wing it on the sauce.
It's edible. 9 thinks it's a little overcooked but is thrilled.
7 thinks it's really undercooked...the exact words were "this is a raw turkey butt", so we're working on manners tonight.
It's edible. 9 thinks it's a little overcooked but is thrilled.
7 thinks it's really undercooked...the exact words were "this is a raw turkey butt", so we're working on manners tonight.
I just realized my husband has been working in a state that still has a quarantine requirement for Maine, and due to his schedule, he is scheduled to be working or quarantined indefinitely.
This is going to be *super* fun.
This is going to be *super* fun.
Poultry update:
7 went in for a very small slice and an irrational amount of roasted potatoes
9 ate 3 adult sized-servings, and then spooned the rest of the sauce from the pan onto his plate which he proceeded to try to eat every drop of.
7 went in for a very small slice and an irrational amount of roasted potatoes
9 ate 3 adult sized-servings, and then spooned the rest of the sauce from the pan onto his plate which he proceeded to try to eat every drop of.
The children are gathering laundry to delay bedtime.
This is a successful strategy.
I'm now pondering how many other chores I can apply this to.
This is a successful strategy.
I'm now pondering how many other chores I can apply this to.
Things that make me happy I have to go pick up printer ink:
1. We have 7 tubes of toothpaste open, and 4 household members. My toothpaste has vanished. Again.
2. Another container of salsa has been opened...to join its half-eaten friends in the fridge later.
I need a minute.
1. We have 7 tubes of toothpaste open, and 4 household members. My toothpaste has vanished. Again.
2. Another container of salsa has been opened...to join its half-eaten friends in the fridge later.
I need a minute.
Note to self: add to #COVID19 inflation costs, paper and toner. I just spent over $200 on office supplies. 😬😠
7 is on a cardboard building binge.
My mechanism to keep him busy is to give him cardboard boxes full of things to be put away, with the caveat that if he puts everything in the box away, he can cut the box up and add it to his cardboard monument.
Bets on how long it holds 😂
My mechanism to keep him busy is to give him cardboard boxes full of things to be put away, with the caveat that if he puts everything in the box away, he can cut the box up and add it to his cardboard monument.
Bets on how long it holds 😂
My head is staple-free. 🎉
I have several intense matters and have been jamming every free second into work before my husband goes back out...so on the phone while printing, hole punching, and sorting near-continuously since Tuesday.
My ear hurts and I have a hole-punching blister. #UnexpectedLawyerProbs
My ear hurts and I have a hole-punching blister. #UnexpectedLawyerProbs
Since I'm doing the grossed out by my government insomnia, I have this super important twitter challenge...
Sell me on your breadmaker.
It's looking like we will all be back to baking again soon and my pandemic bread efforts were neither edible nor funny enough for show.
Sell me on your breadmaker.
It's looking like we will all be back to baking again soon and my pandemic bread efforts were neither edible nor funny enough for show.
It's official.
27.5 jars of end result, multiple recipes.
I...and a jam failure.
Let's pour one out for all the berries that died in this pursuit, and ended up in a range of semi-sweet to sickeningly sweet strawberry syrup.
27.5 jars of end result, multiple recipes.
I...and a jam failure.
Let's pour one out for all the berries that died in this pursuit, and ended up in a range of semi-sweet to sickeningly sweet strawberry syrup.
7: mom still has a broken head
9: how is mom's skin meat?
Me: broken head? Skin meat?
9: yeah mom, your head still looks gross. It's cool.
Me:
9: how is mom's skin meat?
Me: broken head? Skin meat?
9: yeah mom, your head still looks gross. It's cool.
Me:
This is how 9 eats an orange.
😐
😐
We had coffee table fish sticks for dinner.
Drama cat lay in wait anticipating the spoils.
Drama cat lay in wait anticipating the spoils.
