Thread by @vandroidhelsing

Time to watch Eclipse! I feel good about this. I feel great.

Oh no a hampsum man is in dangerrrr

The painful transformation freaks me out and I hope Bella sees one before she turns

I hate the glittering but I like that it does reflect onto Bella’s skin when Edward kisses her. It’s a nice grounding touch

I appreciate that Bella dressed to coordinate with the field of purple flowers

How can Bella think she’s uncoordinated when she dresses to match her makeout meadow

The paper is called The Washington Inquisitor?? Sure

The longer Charlie persists as the voice of reason and empathy in this movie, the more likely I am to start tweeting grotesquely thirsty things about him

Charlie recognizes that Bella’s relationship with the cullens is unhealthy but I fear he will be played off as the standard parental obstacle because what sort of MONSTER stands in the way of YOUNG LOVE

EDWARD BROKE HER TRUCK TO KEEP HER FROM GOING ANYWHERE COOL. COOL COOL COOL

I laugh in shock every time I see jasper Cullen

Why does he

Why is he

What even does

Why is Charlie involved in a murder case in SEATTLE, we are nowhere near Forks

Charlie you don’t deserve anything that’s happening to you

Hiiiiiii Rosalieeeee

I KNOW Emmett is a himbo

What is the land speed of an unladen vampire

Washington State is so fucking beautiful

Leah Clearwater is insta-pissed at Bella so obviously I am instantly on Team Leah

I already hate the soulmate thing. I know where it’s going but I’d hate it anyway

Handsome man is now a vampire, I think, though it’s hard to tell because it’s dark and I think becoming a vampire changes your hair in unexpected ways

Technical difficulties now plague us

I would like to know why some vampires feed on humans and others don’t. I mean the stated reason is “because it’s wronggg” but clearly MOST of them don’t care. So why are most vampires evil? Why do most of them surrender to their urges and only a very few don’t

Granted we have a very small sample size here but

“Doesn’t he own a shirt?” well if it bothers you, Edward, you needn’t OGLE

Edward clearly marking his territory by kissing Bella is blechhh

this scene with the Quileute tribal council reminds me to once again share this
burkemuseum.org/static/truth_v…

that's....not what that part of Seattle looks like

“In a few decades everyone you know will be dead.”
“Why are you so against me becoming a vampire?”
What even is this exchange…why is it written like that…

So Bella is in grave danger from Victoria and her army but also like…it’s perfectly fine for her to walk out in the woods with nobody but Jacob?

Jacob don’t pressure her I believed in yooooou

If two handsome boys are talking that closely and angrily to one another they could at least kiss just to see if that solves anything

IS IT ROSALIE BACKSTORY TIME

Rosalie is the best character fight me

Well I mean Charlie and Rosalie are tied but

Her smile when she says she got revenge

I want more of stuff like this sequence. There’s so much packed in here that is way more interesting than whatever the trio is up to

Jessica said a SWEAR on the STAGE!!

Aw Charlie stands to applaud Bella getting her diploma, he’s so good

just a me thing but I could use less Muse on the soundtrack

Ooh I like the lights going purple behind Alice just a vision hits her

There wolf. There castle

This training montage is just—again I always want more from fight scenes in these movies than what we get

Why does jasper talk like that Ugh ugh

There is literally no reason for jasper to have been in the confederate army

This movie is not subtle about marriage being a key to salvation, hello Mormonism

Why is Bella having psychic dreams

They have showed great restraint by putting the first space needle sighting this far into the series

yes let’s comment a lot on how bad Jacob smells let’s do that

I feel like I kept hearing how bad Taylor Lautner was in these movies but I think he’s perfectly fine?

Oh my god calling Jacob “chief” can we not

Alice trying to mash Edward and Bella together like two dolls is exactly how I don’t feel

Aw Edward got her a whole-ass bed how—sweet?

“I want you while I’m still me” BELLA WHY DO YOU WANT TO BE A VAMPIRE WHEN YOU CLEARLY REGARD IT AS DEATH??

I’m so confused by what she wants out of vampirism. It’s the key to having Edward and love but it’s also like, the death of her self, and she is speeding towards it anyway. Can’t tell if she doesn’t know what she wants or if the MOVIE doesn’t know

This would be super dark if they teased out the ways in which her drive towards vampirism resembles suicidal ideation but they keep not doing that

Edward shut the ENTIRE fuck up about the world being less complicated a hundred years ago!! You’re a straight white guy you don’t know what complicated is!!!

Oh hell yeah the monorail

Every time Jacob strides in without a shirt I cackle helplessly

It is HILARIOUS watching him carry her up hills. Why couldn’t he just wolf it up and have her ride him

AW YEAH IT’S TIME

https://twitter.com/vandroidhelsing/status/1263127695535140865

Oh my god the scene where Jacob warms her up…it’s YA-friendly cucking

Does vampires’ hair still grow

The way Jacob bites his lip before almost admitting he could like Edward back

A minute ago Edward was all “I don’t want to force her into anything” but that doesn’t cut out all the other forms of manipulation he immediately starts employing

God people just do a fuckin polyamory

I really like the crystalline shattering noise when a vampire is injured

I am not 100% clear on why Victoria hates Bella. Bella didn’t kill James. The Cullens did

Oh wait okay they’re talking about it finally. Maybe this could have come up before

cronch

Vampires it turns out are hella flammable

The world has progressed beyond the need for Volturi

What is Carlisle’s accent
Why does it come and go

I did not expect the young girl vampire to die, I’m oddly pleased that the series finally decided not to pull one punch

If Jacob hadn’t cut his hair would he be a maned wolf

I’m so confused by Bella’s speech here where she’s talking about belonging with vampires

There’s a lot of buried themes here that I think aren’t getting unearthed because there’s too much bullshit plot in the way

I think you could do a fabulous story about a character realizing that her true self is a bloodthirsty predator but I don’t think twilight is that story

It’s also muddled because the vampires she’s seen have mostly been the Cullens and the Volturi: powerful, wealthy, feared/revered (and largely white). So is that her primary notion of vampirism? Is that why she wants to belong there?

For me this was an improvement on the previous two. Partly because I’m fascinated at the way it keeps hitting really dark notes almost at random, like a cat walking across a piano and occasionally playing some minor chords

We WILL be watching the last two as well, but not for a couple days, so watch this space