Heri kufanya kazi kuliko mfanya kazi. THREAD
Arif na bibi yake walikuwa newly weds, so damu zao zilikuwa bado moto, walikuwa wamekulana, wameshibana hadi wameanza kufanana. Alafu bibi alikuwa loyal kama vyombo chafu, hata uende wapi unapata zimekungoja.
A few years later wakafuatanisha watoto wawili kama Saturday na Sunday na bado bibi alikuwa na mimba ingine... Ilikuwa New year, new pregnancy. Gynecologist alikuwa amezoeya kuona bibi hadi alikuwa anamuita customer.
The best contraceptive ilikuwa jamaa kutafta kazi mbali ndio atleast mimba zipungue juu ni kama wote walikuwa allergic kwa contraceptives ama family planning... So jamaa akaenda ku hustle mtaani.
So kuna day arif alikuja on work leave akapata wife alileta mfanya kazi, walikuwa wanaishi kwa bedsitter meaning mfanya kazi alikuwa analala kwa kiti ilikuwa a few meters from bed yao.
Kupata conjugal rights ilikuwa inabidi arif akuwe last man standing, alikuwa anangoja house help alale ndio aanze kusumbua bibi apenduke ampatie haki yake... But bibi akadai hawezi kuliwa mbele ya house help, yeye si kuku.
Withdrawal symptoms za kukosa migwatos zikaanza kufanya arif akaanza ku notice house manager, wanasema simba akikosa nyama huwa anakula nyasi... In this case house help ndio nyasi.
Wahenga walisema ukitaka kujua kama avocado imeivaa lazima ufinye finye, so arif alikuwa anaona house help kama avocado na alikuwa anadai kumfinya aone kama ameivaa...
Wife alikuwa Taylor, no wonder aliona arif kama husband material, so akienda kushona nguo arif alikuwa anabaki kwa nyumba aki plot vile anaweza rarua house manager watashona baadaye... House help alikuwa naive akakua trapped na material things.
Wife akiwacha pesa ya mboga house manager anunue apike, arif alikuwa anamkatia, Wife akikosa pesa ya mboga aambie arif a provide, arif alikuwa anachunisha house help mboga, akipika arif anamkula.
Wife akifanya kazi arif alikuwa akifanya mfanya kazi, Ilikuwa paka akitoka, arif anapitia panya route anakuja kukula mfanya kazi... Watoto walikuwa wameanza kuoza meno juu ya kutumwa sweety kwa duka ndio arif apate quality time.
It was all fun and games hadi vile mfanya kazi alianza ku experience morning sickness, kama Kalahari desert alikuwa amewacha kunyesha. Hapo ndio arif aligundua mimba ni kama simu ya Android... Haina Siri.
Wahenga walisema ukipenda raha ya kitandani kuwa tayari kulea mimba.
Arif alijua hii itavunja ndoa yake so aliambia mfanya kazi acheze chini, akangoja wife ameenda kazi kama kawaida akaleta mama flani wasee humuita Defender... Juu huwa anatoa ball.
Wahenga walisema siku ya nyani kufa miti zote huteleza, na kama kuna watu hawafai kuwa na siku mbaya kazini, ni pilots, daktari ama mtu wa kutoa madem mimba... Hiyo siku huyo mama alikuwa na siku mbaya, aka lose both mama na mtoto
Imagine nyumba imekuwa sawa just a moment ago alafu ghafla bin vu inageuka crime scene... Hapo ndio aligundua heri mfanyakazi amwage unga kuliko ameze unga akiwa kwako.
Hiyo siku Wife akarudi kwa nyumba mapema, akapata nyumba ilijaribu kugeuzwa maternity ward ikageuka mortuary, kuna damu kwa bedsheets zake inakaa crime scene, watoto wako nje wanalia, bwanake na defender wamejikunja kwa kiti wamepigwa na butwa.
First of all aliwacha house manager akiwa sawa, second hakuwa aware alikuwa na mimba, third house manager ni mtoto wa cousin yake, forth.. Mimba ilikuwa ya bwanake na walikuwa wanakulana under her roof on their matrimonial bed.
Juu ya shock Wife aka faint, akakimbizwa hosy but unfortunately aka experience miscarriage, so arif akabaki stranded, watoi wako home pekee yao, house manager anapelekwa mortuary, yeye na Defender wa kutoa ball walikuwa wameshikwa wanapelekwa ndani for murder...
Hiyo siku ndio arif aligundua Ukipenda anasa kuwa tayari kwa mkasa.

Kuweka mimba ni harusi, kutoa ni matanga. Tafakari hayo!

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More from @_crazynairobian

5 Sep
Ukimuona na sare ya shule usimfanye a Sare shule. THREAD.
Huwa wanasema in life lazima ukuwe na side hustle ukitaka ku survive fiti, especially Nairobi. So kuna raiya alikuwa mwalimu na side hustle yake ilikuwa ku offer tuition coz bills have to be paid.
In life hufai kula ndimu juu maisha ni ngumu, chukua hiyo ndimu na u make lemonade. So shule zikifunga alikuwa anageuza kwake kuwa tuition block ama anaenda kwa client kufunzia huko depending on vile wanasikizana.
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Dem anakuliwa na kila mtu campus kama HELB loan. THREAD.
Campus relationship mingi huanzia kwa dancefloor siku ya dunda, mnajuania hapo akikutingishia kinyambis alafu una waste your best campus years trying to hope that she’ll be faithfull only to you na akuwe anakosa kuenda dunda kama hauko, lol.
So kuna day kumekuwa na dunda, ilikuwa fresher’s night so raiya walikuwa wamegeuza dancefloor kuwa hunting ground ya fluid exchange… transfer market ya new fresher girlfriends ilikuwa officially on na second years na thirds year walikuwa wanafanya signing.
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20 Jul
Nimewai hepa home kuenda bash siko invited alafu kufika huko nikafukuzwa saa sita usiku, hapo ndio nilijua meaning ya mwenda tezi na Omo marejeo ni nyumbani… THREAD.
Peer pressure huwa mbaya, nikiwa bado high school and living under the old man’s roof kuna day arif alinisho kuna bash ya cousin yake huko Mountain View, na sisi tulikuwa tuna stay Ndumbu-ini.
Way back then Mountain View ndio ilikuwa Rhunda ya wasee wa Waiyaki Way, so nilikuwa excited nikajua hii bash lazima nifike juu nilijua mahali kuna bash kuna madem, obviously singekata.
Read 28 tweets
6 Jul
Ukipatwa kwakina dem ni heri utoke mbio uwache akijitetea kuliko ujifiche, mimi nililala chini ya bed kwakina dem just so that asikuwe in trouble na bado tuliwachana. 🤡
Bado mi hukumbuka hii kitu inani traumatize, juu hiyo siku nilienda huko na aim ya kujua kwao just incase in future tutakuja Ruracio nijue ni wapi tunaleta ng'ombe za mahari.
Alafu nakumbuka dem alikuwa amenisho mamake ni mwalimu so obviously hatakuwa around hadi majioni ndio atoke shule, nikajua the coast is clear... Nikajua pakaa akitoka Sewer rat hutawala 🤡🤡
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5 Jul
Mwanaume unashindana na giza kukesha ukichunga Mali ya muindi usiku ukitaftia bibi mkate na Blueband, kumbe bibi amegeuza nyumba lodging usiku.
Kuna jamaa flani alikuwa soja, kazi ni ku man gate ya muindi usiku... Ana make sure introducers, crooks na unwanted family and friends wanabaki huko nje while the boss is having his beauty sleep.
Jamaa alikuwa a newly wed couple, ameoa bibi akamleta mjini kuwa house wife yeye aki struggle ku make ends meet... So in short hakuwa ame enjoy conjugal rights zake vizuri juu pesa lazima utafutwe, but life ni ku struggle.
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