"Maximize DHV, minimize DLV" is the "buy low, sell high" of relationships for men
DHV (demonstrations of high value): Not reacting emotionally when she does, being strong, being attractive, being decisive, fixing things, doing what you say you're going to do...
... attracting interest from other women, succeeding professionally, being in charge of your own time (not rushing), winning with money, picking your battles, winning contests of skill, being ambitious and motivated, being kind to the weak, not sweating the small stuff
DLV (demonstrations of low value): Being too emotional, physically weak, not being useful, not taking action and forcing her to instead, generating no interest from other women, not having $, being easily distracted, not being able to ignore meaningless demands on ur attention...
...being lazy, entitled, "all talk and no action", being too predictable, lacking nuance, staying in your comfort zone, complaining, talking about other people, crying (outside of death of a loved one), showing anxiety or fear, or rushing around all the time
Men often think once our commitment is given, we're done. We're all set. We're good.
No. She's always watching and judging you and the relationship.
DHVs = Safety
"I need to pay for this with sex and nurturing"
DLVs = Unsafe
"I need to withdraw and give him lots of tests"
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For a man, “couples therapy" is NOT an effective strategy to heal or fix a relationship.
Short thread here for men who have to go, or might have to go at some point in the future
The couples therrapy format (verbal communication) lends itself entirely to the female imperative of putting her emotional experience before everything else
Deep down, you ALREADY know this
This is another example of our gynocentric culture convincing you that something you know in your bones is “toxic” or something you need to “evolve beyond”.
No. You’re not a woman. You’re a man. You’re different, and that’s a wonderful thing.
Authentic “amused mastery” is the healthiest path from the red pill anger phase IMO
If you were unfortunate enough to have allowed yourself to devolve into a defeated, emasculated, sexless plowhorse as a result of blue pill conditioning, waking up can be absolutely excruciating
But BLAME and VICTIMHOOD are not part of the red pill experience, no matter what any manosphere red pill mgtow MRA blah blah guru says
That’s your WEAKNESS again. Frustrating how many “red pill aware” guys miss this
Real RP is total ownership of everything that has and will happen FOR you
Total dedication to your own unique mission
Being your own mental point of origin, always. NO exceptions
It’s about seeing how you can’t serve anyone without serving yourself first
IMO Preventing divorce and broken families starts with how we talk to pre-adolescent and adolescent boys. All other efforts are band-aids.
"It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men" - Frederick Douglas
Boys in the 12-17 years old range should be encouraged by other men to internalize and OWN the following concepts:
Boys and girls are NOT the same
Boys and girls communicate for different purposes
Boys are stronger than girls (This is both a gift and a responsibility)
Biologically speaking, a woman is more valuable than a man
When pairing, her role is to gatekeep sex. Your role is to gatekeep commitment, safety, and security. Pairing is a dance of small trades, testing and creating trust.
For the record, on this account I speak to men. In words that work for men. These words aren't for women.
David Deida says the same shit as Rollo. But Deida says it like a man-bun yogi and women LOVE it. Rollo says it like a 80s LA rock nerd and women vomit.
Ideas are the same
I say it in the voice that works for me.
I didn't get it when she said "I don't feel safe because you don't listen to me".
I got it when a man told me "she wants 'safety' as much as you want sex", and listening means just holding it, no solving, no fixing, just validate".
I didn't get it when she said "you're not seeing me"
I got it when a man said "she's like a child, all she's ever saying is 'I don't like how I FEEL. Sit with me until it changes. But don't try to fix it'. Do that and she'll feel heard and seen".
Chris Rock is right: “Unconditional love is for women and dogs. A man is only loved on the condition that he provide something”
Except for one thing: God
Listen... I have no dog in this fight, but conceptually speaking, this is the only “out” for a man who truly “needs” that...
Unconditional love
As we all know, one of the nightmares playing out in modern families is men seeking another mommy from their wife, since they didn’t get the unconditional love from their own, or no dad to show them another way but being a “boy”. Boys NEED mama...
But as soon as your wife senses you NEED her, she pulls away. So in this sense, God is an “out”. That is, if you can get there. It’s an umbrella over YOU the man (who takes care of us, huh?) that CAN provide that feeling of unconditional love