A wife decides to take her husband to a strip club for his birthday.

They arrive at the club and the doorman says, "Hey, Dave! How ya doin'?"

His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before.

"Oh, no," says Dave. "He's on my bowling team."
When they are seated, a waitress asks Dave if he'd like his usual and brings over a Heineken beer.

His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says, "How did she know that you drink Heineken?"

"She's in the Ladies' Bowling League, honey. We share lanes with them."
A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Dave, and says, "Hi Davey. Want your usual table dance, big boy?"

Dave's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club.
Dave follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her. He tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it. ....
She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every name in the book.
The cab driver turns his head and says, "Looks like you picked up a real bitch tonight, Dave."

• • •

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More from @chittukuruvi4

5 Nov

A big officer came to stay in the housing society, who had just retired.

This elderly big retired officer, shocked and disturbed, walking in the Society park every evening, looking at others with contempt and not talking to anyone.
One day he sat near an elderly one in the evening for a chat and then started sitting continuously with him.

His conversation was always the same topic. “I was such a big officer that one can’t imagine and don't ask, Here I have come in compulsion, etc. etc.”
That elder used to listen to him peacefully.

One day when the “retired” officer showed some signs of inquisitiveness in his eyes and some curiosity, the elderly listener finally gave him the true wisdom.
Read 10 tweets
4 Nov
In my view there are 2 aspects to #ArnabGoswami's arrest. That is a terrible shame, opening a case that was long closed. The lutyens' media whosoever is gloating, will see karma visiting them too.
The 2nd point what BJP has done. Lots of handles are questioning what is GoI doing. @Shefalivaidya saying "But @BJP4Maharashtra unit is sleeping.". @KiritSomaiya from all accounts has been active on the ground. And am sure there are many who are doing that.
I also understand that there was protest earlier today at Mantralaya where people were picked up and arrested when they gathered. I don't know whether the protest actually happened or not.
Read 4 tweets
30 Oct
A thread from a blog that I wrote in 2008, "Gujarat Elections And Victory For Mr. Modi"

Take a bow, Mr. Modi for, what I think, is a well deserved one and few eggs on the face of the pseudo secular journlaists (read CNN IBN and Times of India's Swaminathan A Iyer
and similar varieties). This blog is not about his victory in Gujarat - rather it is about why Congress Govt. should be sent packing. People living outside Gujarat will never understand the psyche of Gujju bhais and bens. Why Congress is such a bad proposition ?
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30 Oct
#FridayThoughts #FridayMotivation
An anecdote

Navjot Singh Sidhu once shared an anecdote of a one day international against West Indies in 1988. It was his third tournament and Sachin Tendulkar's second.
To give you a little context, it was a wet pitch and as you may know, the West Indies players were HUGE! @Vaidyvoice
Sidhu very desperately asked the then captain, Azharuddin to do him one favour and win the toss because batting on the wet pitch was going to be a huge challenge! @HKA_2017
Read 12 tweets
29 Oct
#PulwamaAttack A quick thread on who said what last year in the one month after the attack.

Now that Pakistan has gloated, it is time to revisit what happened on Twitter on account of #PulwamaAttack in 2019
According to sad ji, Pulwama Attack was a "lafada". Lafade baaz ko sab kuch lafada hi nazar aayega.

Read 11 tweets
27 Oct
Mudi should rejine as we are deeply disappointed that he could do only this much in the last 6 years!! Today onwards anyone can buy land in J & K!!

▶️Rera Act
▶️Ram Mandir
▶️3 Cr Homes
▶️9 Cr Toilets
▶️Stable Govt
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▶️Motor Vehicles Act
▶️Weaponry for forces
▶️New Education Policy
▶️7 New IITs ,IIMs, IITs
▶️Reduced Corporate tax
▶️PM Kisan for all Farmers
▶️2nd largest Solar Power
▶️2nd largest steel producer
▶️2nd largest mobile manufacturer
▶️4th largest Automotive market
▶️Fugitive Economic Offender Act
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▶️Reduction in Bank Non-Performing assets
▶️Clearing 2 Lakh crore fuel debt by Congress
▶️Worlds largest healthcare - Ayushman Bharat
▶️Terrorism Drop
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Read 5 tweets

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