Thread by @pfemiolaleye

Conflict Resolution in Relationships/marriages .

A thread .

1. You can actually have a wonderful love life if you understand a few important things . Every house is built by rules . As with houses so it is with relationships and marriages . If you violate the rules then there will be consequences. #maritalbliss

2. One major issue I have found many folks have in their relationship is that they don’t know how to handle conflicts or disagreements. Some even interpret having conflicts as a sign that they are incompatible #maritalbliss

3. So you find a scenario where two meet and have a wonderful time together . They can’t get enough of each other and it feels like a fairy tale . All their friends are caught up in it . They are both caught up in love paradise . No worries at all ! #maritalbliss

4. Then one day there is a misunderstanding. Harsh words are said . After the altercation , normalcy never returns . You at times notice extended periods without Deep conversations you are used to . You feel alone and deserted even though you are with someone #maritalbliss

5. You now begin to re-evaluate things . Then you now begin to have only fights . No more romance . No more butterflies . It becomes a gradual build up until everything scatters . #maritalbliss

6. So how do you deal with this in your relationship? How do you deal with the issue of your beloved being especially close to an ex or a friend of the opposite sex ? How do you deal with differing opinions concerning a matter ? #maritalbliss

7. The first thing is to have the right mindset . What’s the mindset ? To value being together than being right ! Don’t always seek to be right above the harmony in your relationship or marriage . You can be right and lose . Don’t win the argument and lose your love #maritalbliss

8. The second thing to settle is communication. Don’t listen to what is being said to respond or counter . Listen to understand so that your response can come from a place of clarity and empathy #maritalbliss

9. Identify the root cause of your conflict . Is it fear ? Lack of trust ? Is it a suspicion that he or she settled for you ? Is it deep lying insecurities due to past break ups ? Or emotional pain as a result of abuse ? #maritalbliss

10. Most times what couples fight about is not the real reason they are fighting. At times the real cause of the conflict is buried deep within their subconscious and if not dealt with a resolution will not be reached . #maritalbliss

11. The moment both of you have honestly identified the real cause of your conflict, discuss it in a non-accusatory way . Avoid using words like “you always “ or “everytime “ and “you will never change “ . Words like these reeks of finality #maritalbliss

12. You are basically saying that you have given up hope of change or resolution and deep within you there is a fixed image that has formed about that spouse . We deal with people based on how we see them not based on who they are #maritalbliss

13. Agree a clear system of resolving conflict . A simple rule of never raising voices or waiting till both parties cool off to discuss the issue goes a long way . You can also both agree that when a conflict arise both parties would carry out a selflesslove service #maritalbliss

14 . Once you agree this you will find that when conflict arises both of you would look for a way through the issues not a way out of the relationship. A clear cut manner of approach makes resolution easier . #maritalbliss

15. It is wisdom never to allow conflicts fester . Unresolved conflicts are like wounds . If left for long they become gangrenous with only one remedy - amputation . When conflict is left unresolved the result is a breakdown of relations #maritalbliss

16. Resolve issues speedily and quickly . Demonstrate your willingness to place the relationship above your own ego and desire to be right and you will know peace . #maritalbliss

17. There are also times when you must realize that you will turn a blind eye to something’s because your partner cannot outgrow them in their particular season . They will need time to do so . You will be blind during this time for peace to reign . #maritalbliss

18. Dealing with people helps you become better . Relationships help us to mature and develop spiritually,emotionally and otherwise if we allow it . #maritalbliss

19. I hope this blessed you . I will be sharing Gods wisdom to help you in relationships and marriage this Sunday . Join me @Oikiacc for #maritalbliss you will be glad you did !