It's the era of "soft life". Nobody wants it hard. Don't want to read late into the night: "education is not everything". Don't want to save money: "nobody gets out alive". Don't want to check on friends: "if they wanted to, they would have". Nobody wants to work at a damn thing!
But y'all know what you want. Very loudly: "I want a man that spoils me", "I want a woman that submits", "I want a fit body". What are you willing to give? Nothing. You are just manifesting, hoping someone will rescue you. Professional manifester!
Stability takes effort, relationships demand mutuality, & progress is won on your feet. Everything good is work. Soft life is hard work worn inside out. You don't manifest your way into a "soft life", you bleed into a soft life. Unless you were born into a soft life.

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More from @XivTroy

14 Jan
You have no reason to be living under your father's roof after college. You will be a father & husband one day. Go out there, & learn leadership because responsibility is not genetic. You earn it. Past 25, pack your things & go start living - with friends or by yourself. Grow up!
What if you have no job? Staying with your father won't get you a job. Youu are spending 5K every week anyway on alcohol you don't need, banter that does not grow you, and women who don't challenge you. Go experience privation, learn to budget. Make real connections.
Listen, when you are a man, the world does not care. People like to associate with men that make shit happen. Your fear of discomfort is an impediment to growth. I want to link you to opportunities but you cannot stay out past 11. "Daddy will lock me out" And you are 30!
Read 5 tweets
7 Jan
You are all as lonely and miserable as bandicoots because you have bought into fear. Women with their bottom bitch theory, men with their alpha theories. Relationships transcend the linearities of the material. You'll never predict the end no matter how many theories you conjure.
"Don't date a poor man, he'll leave you when he is rich": "Don't date a woman poor, she'll leave you for the rich". So much fear, yet your parents found each other in the village with nothing but slippers - somehow built a life together. But you are smarter!
Material is a very small aspect of relationships. Its importance is magnified by your fears. There are emotional, spiritual & mental aspects. The loudest among the fearmongers have never sustained a relationship beyond six months. You think it is a coincidence?
Read 4 tweets
3 Jan
Early maturity is only good on paper: only poor people suffer more in Africa. Early maturers suffer loneliness, more burdens from their parents, & more stringent standards from their societies. Because for every 1 early maturer, there are 100 Charlies taking their time.
People abuse early maturers. You use them only as vessels, and therapists. Women use them for advice on men; men use them as designated drivers, or simply ATM machines. Early maturers demand so little of society, and instead of being grateful, society gives them even less.
Parents upon discovering early maturity in their kids, saddle them with even more responsibility: responsibility that should be shared across all siblings. They are made into substitute parents. It is no wonder early maturers develop avoidant attachment.
Read 6 tweets
31 Dec 20
Even as a young man I knew I wanted to write. I felt it every time I held a pen: I listened to everyone tell me I was good. You soon believe it & conjure it as a purpose: you commit to nothing else. You think if I get there, all will be solved. Purpose becomes nirvana.
But it is not true, this narrative we are sold. Purpose is not a destination. You think when you get there, money will start pouring in. Everyone will seek your company. That you will have everything you ever needed & everything you ignored. That happiness will be a constant.
Purpose is not the beginning of life. Purpose is a collective product of your life. The food you enjoyed, the moments you shared with loved ones. The time you were at the barber's. Even the heartbreaks you suffered. In business, or relationships. The risks you took.
Read 7 tweets
30 Dec 20
Most importantly, I hope that you, as a man, find the courage to leave the woman that does not appreciate you, that insults you, and abuses you. You are not inevitably tied to a woman, and your continued stay, will not change their minds. Delete that number. Start saying 'No'.
We live in a society that can be very indifferent to male plight. But you feel, you love and you hope. Regardless, these must be tamed. I have shared with so many brothers on the DMs this year. Men suffer abuse. Men suffer betrayal. Men can be very hopeful. To their detriment.
Despite our fervent denial, relationships are an important facet of our lives as men. They affect our overall productivity. Affect our relationship with other men. Women do not have monopoly of exit. Leave a woman that is going nowhere with her life behind. You are not a savior.
Read 4 tweets
30 Dec 20
I come back to this city a lot. It is here that I schooled. You see that dead stump next to the road, it used to be a huge oak tree. The first time I came back, exactly 2 years after I had left, Tuishime, my former classmate, was a cashier in one of those ubiquitous Indian shops
I found him in the afternoon - hunched next to other worn faces in the hot Nairobi afternoon. He said, "a man must fight", as he dipped a piece of thin chapati in the light bean soup. He had applied to several organizations after internship, but only the Indians would have him.
I said, "sorry man, keep fighting. I'll pray for you". He didn't stay long: said the Indian bosses were rather particular. He walked with long strides. His spring smacked optimism. The throng swallowed him quickly, and I, haunted by its anxiety, hurried out of that gloomy street.
Read 8 tweets

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