What I learnt on the Twitter this week:
1. Canada declares Proud Boys a terrorist group. In unrelated news Conservative politicians across Canada hastily scratch hundreds of names off their annual Christmas card lists.
2. Groundhogs predict six more months of rotating lockdowns.
1. Canada declares Proud Boys a terrorist group. In unrelated news Conservative politicians across Canada hastily scratch hundreds of names off their annual Christmas card lists.
2. Groundhogs predict six more months of rotating lockdowns.
3. During Facebook townhall, Jason Kenney urges Covid deniers in Alberta to stop believing Facebook conspiracy theory nonsense about the pandemic and instead focus their attention on the fact the US is attacking Alberta's O&G sector with Laurentian Elite space lasers.
4. Ford announces the best way to fight Coh-VEDD is to go to the country's busiest airport and take a big group selfie with healthcare workers.
5. O'Toole says "Ottawa" is at the root of all Canadian problems. Says this from his office in Ottawa. That's it. That's the funny part.
5. O'Toole says "Ottawa" is at the root of all Canadian problems. Says this from his office in Ottawa. That's it. That's the funny part.
6. Barrie policemen decide it's time for a paid vacation and submit their vacation requests by beating the stuffing out of a 20-year-old skateboarder.
7. Lecce cites "40% teacher absenteeism rate!" Insiders report he mistakenly got the stat from Merrilee Fullerton's HR file.
7. Lecce cites "40% teacher absenteeism rate!" Insiders report he mistakenly got the stat from Merrilee Fullerton's HR file.
8. Canadian newspapers publish papers with empty front pages, saying it's to illustrate a world with no news. Toronto Sun readers don't notice the change.
9. Post Media headlines say majority in Canada unhappy with Trudeau and to ignore the polls indicating otherwise on page 23.
9. Post Media headlines say majority in Canada unhappy with Trudeau and to ignore the polls indicating otherwise on page 23.
10. Brett Wilson blames Gerry Butts for recent Canadian job losses, not realizing it's all Trudeau's 12-year-old daughter's doing.
11. Ford says empty buildings in Ontario easily converted to manufacture Coh-VEDD vaccines. Ford says making vaccines is as easy as no-bake pie.
11. Ford says empty buildings in Ontario easily converted to manufacture Coh-VEDD vaccines. Ford says making vaccines is as easy as no-bake pie.
12. Jonathon Kay realizes he used dog shampoo for months. Tweets the news. Mom, Barbara Kay, comes to his defence, saying he always has the cutest little shiny coat.
13. Conservatives outraged Trudeau not providing vaccines fast enough while also using vaccines we paid for.
13. Conservatives outraged Trudeau not providing vaccines fast enough while also using vaccines we paid for.
14. Ford government says all required health table medical experts support Lecce's back-to-school plan, even though the plan sealed in same envelope as Lecce's mandate letter.
15. Dr David Williams says, for things being so bad in Ontario, things are actually pretty darn good.
15. Dr David Williams says, for things being so bad in Ontario, things are actually pretty darn good.
16. Four days after Bell Media's much-hyped "let's talk mental health" day, company lays off hundreds of staff a month after Christmas. Bell Spokesperson says, while it's a sad day for everyone, taking advantage of Bell's great new offer on FibeTV will make everyone feel better.
17. Matt Wolf says anonymous accounts ruining his Twitter experience, and as a result, he no longer enjoys his job as high-paid UCP Twitter troll.
18. O'Toole says key to Canada's economic recovery is to end the pandemic and get people back to work. That's it. That's his plan.
18. O'Toole says key to Canada's economic recovery is to end the pandemic and get people back to work. That's it. That's his plan.
19. Canadian snowbirds angry about government-mandated quarantine after arriving in Canada, saying their tans will fade before they get the chance to show them off at Bridge Club.
20. Doug Ford says, where Coe-VEDD's concerned, he won't co-promiss the safety of the vunnerable.
20. Doug Ford says, where Coe-VEDD's concerned, he won't co-promiss the safety of the vunnerable.
21. Lecce says safety measures planned for schools last fall will ostensibly be introduced sometime in the months following this week's reopenings.
22. Ford says the worst part of the pandemic is parents having to come home to their children. That's it. That's the funny part.
22. Ford says the worst part of the pandemic is parents having to come home to their children. That's it. That's the funny part.
23. Elliott says reopening Ontario's economy will have to be done thoughtfully and slowly. Says Ontario malls will have two extra security guards assigned during peak hours.
24. Doug Ford blames Feds for Polar Vortex. Shuts down Ontario's borders to prevent spread of weather.
24. Doug Ford blames Feds for Polar Vortex. Shuts down Ontario's borders to prevent spread of weather.
25. Marjorie Taylor-Green and Jason Kenney say they're very upset because they were allowed to believe stuff that wasn't ever true.
26. UCP does major staff shuffle. Realizes then that more than half their staff are still on Christmas vacation.
27. Kenney holds up random graph.
26. UCP does major staff shuffle. Realizes then that more than half their staff are still on Christmas vacation.
27. Kenney holds up random graph.
28. Chins up, everyone. Days are getting longer. No extra day in February this year. Vaccines are coming. Think about how much money you've saved not buying pants.
29. Ignore Doug's rush to reopen. Slow and steady wins the race. Oh, and also, science.
29. Ignore Doug's rush to reopen. Slow and steady wins the race. Oh, and also, science.
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