Thread by @garwboy

OK, so, seen many people sharing this image online today, often supportively.

YMMV of course, but based on my own understanding, rather than being insightful or 'right on', this is completely vile, and actively harmful, on multiple levels

Where to even start?

/1

First and foremost, there's the breath-taking entitlement. For a bloke to assume that not only should people send you nudes, but that that's the absolute bare minimum*, and is in fact an insult to your far more refined expectations? Good lord almighty

* = pun intended

/2

Different for women, obviously. Unsolicited dick pics are constant problem and a whole other thing. This doesn't say that, though. It's a bloke, talking about nudes. And literally puts his name to it. So original point still stands, I think

/3

It's basically slut-shaming, given a thin layer of progressive attitudes to mental health awareness in order to disguise it. I'd say it fails miserably, but others may disagree, which is depressing.

/4

Then there's the whole 'prove that you see a therapist before I consider dating you' thing. I bet he noticed that every woman he's dated ended up seeing a therapist afterwards, and arrived at exactly the wrong conclusion

/5

It's a real bugbear of mine. It's a variation on the 'If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best' bullshit. Telling the world you are so brilliant you have a blank cheque to do what you like and others must work hard to deserve you.

Do fuck off.

/6

There's an element of financial judgement, too. Show an 'invoice', for therapy. Prove to me you can afford one. I don't want to be dating anyone who needs government funded help. I deserve better than that. Look how deft I am with balloons!

Maybe I'm reaching there, though

/7

More seriously though, going to therapy is a huge deal for so many. Reducing it to a condescending punchline, to suggest it's actually something people do to improve their dating prospects, that's just going to make it harder for people to admit they need, and seek out, help.

/8

"Calm down, it's just a joke/meme/tweet" is an obvious response to my moans. But it's virtually certain that anyone who shares it approvingly has someone in their friends/followers who has/will have mental health problems, who'll feel less able to speak to them about it now

/9

Which brings me to main concern; this blatantly propagates #mentalhealth stigma

You need a clean bill of mental health to consider dating even this arsehole. Because any and all relationship difficulties obviously stem from mental health problems, apparently?

/10

As others have pointed out, if he'd put 'gym membership' instead of 'therapist', he'd be widely roasted online as an absolute monster. And rightly so

Judging someone as inferior for having poor #mentalhealth though, that's fine and dandy. Apparently. Cheers for that, mate.

/11

It's arguably the result of another thing I'm constantly bringing up when I can; the down-side of increased #mentalhealth 'awareness'. Some people take it and feel they can use it as they please. Which they really shouldn't. They're 'aware', but they don't 'understand'.

/12

It's maybe something spun off from the view that 'everyone needs therapy'. I get and agree with the sentiment behind that; none of us have flawless mental health and we shouldn't judge others for it

I disagree with the wording though. Some take it too literally, I'd argue

/13

"Everyone *would benefit* from therapy", sure. But some people have far worse issues with their mental health than others. Insisting that everyone needs it equally is a roundabout way of saying 'everyone's a winner'. I.e. nobody is. Can readily lead to harmful dismissal.

/14

Maybe I'm going way overboard in extensively analysing this brief bit of dickery

But then, I seem to specialise in calling out entitled douchebags who make harmful claims about mental health under the guise of being progressive or helpful

https://twitter.com/garwboy/status/1352648404980162566

/15

So, in summary, to hell with balloon guy and his ridiculous entitlement, sex-shaming, condescension and mental health stigmatising.

I'd write it that balloons, but I literally don't want to waste my breath.

/16

If you want to know more about the realities of #mentalhealth and what's going on in our brains when it goes awry, check out my new book Psycho-Logical, all about exactly that

amazon.co.uk/Psycho-Logical…

Didn't plan to end this with a book plug, but might as well, innit

/end