Emotional Labor and #Autism
Many Autistic people have difficulty identifying our emotional state even though we are affected by it
This means in times of conflict or crisis we may appear to be calm and confident when we are decidedly not
An #ActuallyAutistic Thread/
Many Autistic people have difficulty identifying our emotional state even though we are affected by it
This means in times of conflict or crisis we may appear to be calm and confident when we are decidedly not
An #ActuallyAutistic Thread/
For Autistic people who can hide their differences there's often an incentive to be overly serious as being silly in the wrong situation leads to punishment; this makes others perceive us as emotionally strong people
https://twitter.com/Ghillie_Guide/status/1362077800740450305
This perception combined with our inability to recognize our own emotions means people often come to us first when they are upset
This is an almost universal experience for me; even strangers on the street recognize this about me and approach me with their problems
This is an almost universal experience for me; even strangers on the street recognize this about me and approach me with their problems
There are many relationships in my life defined by this dynamic and there's rarely any reciprocation
Many people in my life burden me with their emotional problems without offering me a space to process mine
Many people in my life burden me with their emotional problems without offering me a space to process mine
They drain my energy and burden me with problems that aren't my fault and I can't solve
They leave me with nothing and get upset when I fail to be there for them. It's a trend that generally leads to violation of our boundaries and abuse
They leave me with nothing and get upset when I fail to be there for them. It's a trend that generally leads to violation of our boundaries and abuse
Many parents burden their autistic children this way seeing them as an emotional rock and never perceiving their actual emotional responses
This trend is well established in the literature and is known on a larger scale as emotional incest.
amp.mindbodygreen.com/articles/the-i…
This trend is well established in the literature and is known on a larger scale as emotional incest.
amp.mindbodygreen.com/articles/the-i…
When Autistic kids are raised by parents who violate their boundaries this way they learn to be comfortable with violations of their boundaries
This is possibly the biggest problem in my life; I am comfortable with abuse by others of my openness to listening and thoughtfulness
This is possibly the biggest problem in my life; I am comfortable with abuse by others of my openness to listening and thoughtfulness
My comfort as a child with inappropriate relations to adults in this way made me unable to recognize abuse when it was happening and tell someone to help me
I was physical abused and felt bad for my abuser centering their feelings and punishing myself for angering them.
I was physical abused and felt bad for my abuser centering their feelings and punishing myself for angering them.
It's ok to let your children help you in your life!
It's not ok to be explicit to them about your fears and concerns consistently; when you use your children for emotional labor you are priming them for a lifetime of abuse!
It's not ok to be explicit to them about your fears and concerns consistently; when you use your children for emotional labor you are priming them for a lifetime of abuse!
Be strong for your children and if you need help ask other adults instead of the person who relies on you to teach them how to live in the world!
Parenting is difficult and requires great sacrifices; don't let the management of your emotions be their responsibility!
Parenting is difficult and requires great sacrifices; don't let the management of your emotions be their responsibility!
This thread hurts a lot; difficult to say it
Please consider boosting I would really appreciate more awareness of this I saw it a lot in support practice where a parent would almost fetishize this aspect of their child "**** is my rock I don't know what I would do without him"
Please consider boosting I would really appreciate more awareness of this I saw it a lot in support practice where a parent would almost fetishize this aspect of their child "**** is my rock I don't know what I would do without him"
The unmentioned and unrewarded emotional labour of Autistic people in my eyes seemed systematic working in supports for other autistic people
My co-workers would use autistic kids this way and then their parents would come pick them up and start doing it before they even left
My co-workers would use autistic kids this way and then their parents would come pick them up and start doing it before they even left
Emotional labor demands from loved ones almost drove me into meltdown today!
That's what inspired this thread; the only thing that makes me feel better is knowing I can turn my pain into education for others to reduce harm
That's what inspired this thread; the only thing that makes me feel better is knowing I can turn my pain into education for others to reduce harm
If this thread resonated check out these free trauma books
A trauma framework is how I got to this level of self-awareness on this; most autistic support services miss this framework but it's one of the most important for autistic people IMO
drive.google.com/drive/folders/…
A trauma framework is how I got to this level of self-awareness on this; most autistic support services miss this framework but it's one of the most important for autistic people IMO
drive.google.com/drive/folders/…
@erikaheidewald this is what happens when I take the time to write out a thread before posting, for example
Have a nice day 💛
Have a nice day 💛
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