We’re only in the first week of April & I’ve already received a multitude of emails asking about how to respectfully speak about Autism & Autistic people.
Here are a few gentle reminders, for those of you who want to be good allies this month:
In the debate over “Autistic Person” or “person with autism”, though individual opinions can and do vary, Autistic person is preferred by most Autistic (not all) people.
It’s always good to ask & respect the individual’s choice in how to identify themselves.
Aspergers is being phased out as a diagnosis though some Autistic people have received this label in recent years (depending on where they live in the world).
Autistic is Autistic.
Separating Autistic people this way harms all of us even those who are given the Aspergers label.
Avoid pathological, medical, language, that makes it sound as if Autism is a sickness/disease/Autistic People are broken/lesser than non-Autistic people such as:
Also don’t compare being Autistic to having cancer.
Puzzle pieces are not great symbols for Autistic People because they originally were used to imply Autistic Children were missing pieces of themselves (complete with image of crying child on the original logo).
The puzzle implied Autism “only happens to kids” specifically boys.
Light up blue also is problematic for all the same reasons, plus it’s ties to the “anti-Autistic eugenicist hate group” Autism $peaks.
So what CAN you do to support Autistic People this April?
1. Please don’t further medicalize/stigmatize us.
2. If an Autistic Person (or member of a minority group tells you something is harmful listen.
3. Please DO share/Amplify Autistic voices on Autism & related issues.
I found out that I was Autistic, at the age of 29, fairly late in life.
When I would tell people this newly discovered information, often, they would have a range of reactions, from not knowing how to respond, to disbelief.
In my experience coming out, Autistic has been a lot like coming out Queer -you have to come out over & over again.
It is an endless process with each & every new person you meet (if you choose to disclose that information).
When you do decide to disclose this information to people who may have been close to you in your life, you may lose people, because some humans will be unable to accept the new information, in relation to the way they think of you.
It’s official April. You may have heard that April is considered “Autism Month” to many people.
A few gentle reminders to non-Autistic people, as we jump into this month:
1. Please step aside and let Autistic People lead the conversation about Autism this month.
Historically, April has often been a time non-Autistics speak over Autistic voices, effectively silencing us and cutting us out of conversations about issues that impact us.
2. Please DO help to amplify the voices/words of Autistic people on Autistic issues this month (and all year long).
We’ve got a long history of missteps when it comes to autism and gender. For example, the original model of autism is based very specifically on a very narrow definition of straight, cis, white, male autistic children.
This is why for a long time, we see autistic women, girls, and non binary people being missed - because our original model of autism very narrowly is based on little autistic boys leaving the rest of us somewhere undescribed.
Eventually ,after years and years of light up blue campaigns and people championing the idea that autism was a boy’s condition, there was an outcry to take a look at how autism manifests itself in Autistic women and girls.
The founder of ABA said the following about Autistic kids:
“You see, you start pretty much from scratch when you work with an autistic child. You have a person in the physical sense – they have hair, a nose and a mouth – but they are not people in the psychological sense...."
"One way to look at the job of helping autistic kids is to see it as a matter of constructing a person. You have the raw materials, but you have to build the person.”
Lovaas strongly believed in intense behavioral modification interventions, that included harsh aversive techniques such as withholding touch and attention, isolation, and even giving electric shock "therapy"...
I believe untraumatized Autistic people exist, though many are likely undiagnosed because the diagnostic manuals used to determine if a person is Autistic is a weakness model - based on Autistic people in distress.
No good can come of grouping people ONLY by their weaknesses.
So the medical gatekeepers, who Autistic people rely on in order to receive the diagnosis, tend to be very unaware of what Autistic people in good mental health even look like.
Because all they talk about is our weaknesses. They've never bothered to care about what success can look like in Autistic people.
A meltdown is beyond an autistic person’s control. Their brain is overwhelmed & can’t take anymore. They might start crying or fall to the floor because they’re just mentally done - completely overwhelmed.
The fight, flight, freeze response has been triggered, almost like a panic attack kind of a feeling. It’s a horrible feeling.
You can also shut down, and just implode in on yourself instead of having an outward explosion.
A shutdown can actually be worse and more painful for an autistic person. At least with a meltdown, you have a bit of a catharsis at the end and sometimes can feel better after.