Thread by @snickelsox

Druid: I need your help.

Necromancer: Oooh? A secret plot?

D: Sure. Take this shovel, I'll explain on the way.

*later*

Cleric: Ok, spill. You've been disappearing for weeks. Has the necromancer corrupted you?

D: No, the opposite!

N: We made an underground greenhouse!
#DnD

Cleric: Let me guess, on a graveyard?

Necromancer: Adjacent.

Druid: The soil is very good there.

C: What!? That's disgusting!

N: Efficient.

C: Sacrilegious!

D: Ecologically beneficial. Here, try these tomatoes.

C: I'm not eating your death tomatoes!

D: Your loss.

D: How do you think the circle of life works? Death and rebirth, or reuse, is a natural part.

N: It turns out I am an important bit of that process!

C: But you cheat death!

N: No, I just understand it on a different level. It's an ocean of energy, not a river of consciousness.

N: Helping to grow these plants, seeing the life energy move from one thing to another, I've learned quite a bit from our Druid friend.

D: And I've picked up a few tricks to bolster the natural life our plants have. Rot and decay and death can be somewhat healthy. Beautiful too.

D: We even involved the Bard.

Bard: I GET TO SING BALLADS TO SPINACH!

C: You've... you've corrupted us all.

D: I guess. You've not complained about the meals thus far.

C: I've been eating your death plants!?

D: Yes? That's been like... your whole life though?

C: No! There was some... steps or something!

D: Yes? But not as many as you'd like. By your logic you're drinking blood every time you drink water. Things become other things, though that energy remains to an extent. Your body is like 20% bacteria and fungus already.

C: You're missing the point! You're growing plants off dead bodies!

N: Oh, yeah. We are for sure doing that. But it's cool, I asked them first.

C: You did?

N: Of course! Most of the dead are pretty chill being used as fertilizer. It feels good to be part of something again.

C: Ok, well... let me have a tomato then.

D: You're going to love it!

C: Mmm. It is pretty good. What's the cemetery you're near?

N: You know the one! Incidentally, your grandparents send their love.

C: Memaw?

D: Yeah, she's radishes.

N: Lovely woman. Asked if you'd visit.

Not sure what the point was to this one, just thought it was fun. Follow for more weird stuff.

The artist on this sheet was @CaptCallie. It says so in the corner but there's not enough space there to say HIRE THEM FOR YOUR CHARACTERS.

https://twitter.com/CaptCallie/status/1356646686454673415?s=19