Reflecting on my hospital day procedure, through a #traumainformed lens.
Yesterday I had a #gastroscopy with full sedation.
I’m also a survivor of child abuse & years of coercive psychiatric treatment, so it was a scary prospect.
Here’s my experience.
1/22
Leading up to the procedure, I was scared that somehow I’d end up with an unwanted psych consult. What if I cry too much or they just make assumptions based on my history?
This was a big fear. I almost cancelled. Thankfully, it didn’t happen.
2/
One thing I forgot to consider was that the last time I’d been in hospital was when my Dad died, about 8w ago in January.
The second I walked into the hospital I realised, and the tears started flooding.
I didn’t plan for grief or thinking about death, but I should have.
3/
2/ If we say we’re thinking about suicide, don’t panic.
It may or may not be a crisis. It may feel odd to you—but some of us have thought about suicide for decades, regularly.
I consider myself largely healed but I still have regular suicide thoughts.
(Don’t panic, I’m OK)
3/ It’s helpful to understand the different nuances of how we are thinking about suicide...
Are thoughts abstract or occasional... or a lot, or increasing? For how long?
&
Is it a thought (‘I could’) or a desire (‘I want’) or an urge (‘I need to’) or a plan (‘I’m ready’).
If you’re not from Australia,, you might be wondering what the hell is going on right now.
It’s pretty awful.
Rape allegations were made by an ex-govt policy staffer, Brittany, against a colleague. A senior minister called her a ‘lying cow’ then went on sick leave.
/1
It took a conversation with his wife, and being reminded about his daughters, for our Prime Minister to acknowledge that he should take action so women were safe at Parliament House.
2/
Now rape allegations (from the 80s) have emerged against our Attorney General, by a woman called Kate. She was diagnosed with mental illness & died from suicide.
The AG denied it & went on sick leave.
The police stuffed up or covered up. Case dropped.
/3