Thread by @GicAriana

You know, if people were more open and honest about what is said in casual private conversations, many a “friend” and “expert” on Ukraine would suffer some serious reputational damage.

I’ve been in situations where the following things have been expressed:
- a then western ambo to Ukraine (who enjoys great standing among Ukrainians) told me that Russian oligarch, Mikhail Friedman, is a “good guy” with “an undeservedly bad rep” & is actually a FRIEND to Ukraine;

- a young female “expert” who spent several years working on Ukraine, visits often, and always publicly says how much she loves Ukrainians, said she had “no choice but to be celibate” in Ukraine because the men are “so disgusting” & “you know they are definitely all bad in bed”;

- one of the more prominent think tankers with high government reach could not make out a very simple and basic menu in Ukrainian, unable to figure out ANYTHING that was written, and then complained about how “backwards” it is that more Ukrainians aren’t fluent in English;

- a prominent think tanker with high government reach harshly criticized Ukrainian government efforts to ensure UA language (the country’s one & only official language) had protection in public space, and that it was used in public & official capacities. “Backwards” again;

- a prominent think tanker with high govt reach, took it upon herself to pull my husband’s shirt collar to see if he wore a chain, and then expressed shock that he wasn’t a “typical Ukrainian type” “with bad style” cuz you know, Ukrainians are all the same, especially the men;

- another “expert” and friend on Ukraine smoked in non-smoking spaces in Ukraine because “fuck it, it’s Ukraine”, and was then pissed off when he was asked to put out the cigarette or pay a fine and leave;

- at an event full of Russian “dissidents” and such, a “friend” to Ukraine and big “expert” said of Ukrainians, “oh, they are so naive and backwards, but you still have to love them”;

- in a (truly lovely) restaurant, surrounded by a group of Ukrainian nationals, an American “expat” living in Ukraine, complained about how Ukrainians don’t know what’s good - “they think this crap” pointing his finger at the table “is amazing, and they are excited about it”;

- another “friend” to Ukraine and “expert” on the country said that all Ukrainian men “are ugly”, the women are “all whores”, and other equally repulsive commentary. Her public commentary about the country is rather at odds with her private statements.

- an “expert” who cheats on his wife at every turn said that Ukrainian men aren’t “gentlemen” like men are where he comes from;

- a “great” friend to Ukraine and well known expert lamented that “if Putin loses, and Ukraine wins, we’ll all be out of jobs,”;

Another “friend” and “expert” said all higher Ukrainian education is “substandard” and “nothing like it is in Russia or the West”;

I could go on, but this little stroll down memory lane is not making me feel oh so happy.

The bottom line is that plenty of the “friends” Ukraine has are not friends at all. They are people who hold ugly stereotypes that have no bearing in reality.

I ask you, if you believe the worst lies and hold some of the most unflattering opinions about a group of people, how great an advocate can you be? And if you are so openly duplicitous, how is it such a secret?

If you are an “expert” who cannot even make out the Cyrillic alphabet to read the word “beer” in Ukrainian, how the hell are reading Ukrainian laws and policies that you criticize in articles and at public events?

If you are a “friend” to Ukraine, why defend Russian oligarchs and lie about who they are? If you are saying this at a public gathering while you are holding your role as a diplomat, what does this mean about the “friendly” country you represent?

Also, if you actually KNOW Ukrainians, you’ll KNOW how absolutely ridiculous & absurd the stereotypes & such above are. In fact, I can say that the men, for example, are FAR more gentlemanly and considerate than men in Brussels or Berlin. The women most certainly aren’t “whores”.

Many women in Ukraine are remarkably strong, self-sufficient, entrepreneurial, intelligent and well-educated, not looking for a man to support them.

If you are an expert who spends time with Ukrainian movers and shakers, policy makers, professionals, and such, you’d know many of them are brilliant and polished, and can compete with the best of them anywhere.

You’d know that Ukrainian students and professionals win awards in science, engineering, IT, and prestigious international mooting (mock trial) competitions at universities like Oxford.

And many of them know damn well how shitty and duplicitous they are, which is why they have their public personas which is all love and affection for Ukrainians and Ukraine, and then their private opinions which are markedly different.

If more people stopped ignoring the private, maybe Ukraine could find itself some better friends.

I’ve NEVER witnessed any friend of the Russian people (not the state), ever speak so horribly about Russians. Just affection. Ukrainians should not accept any different or less.