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4 Jul, 4 tweets, 1 min read
I have unlocked a powerful secret. It's almost like flavored boba. A bottle of mio water flavoring and a bag of chia seeds. San
Approximately 60 calories, very filling, and damn tasty. Chia seeds have also been shown to be a really good supplement to your regular diet.
I know this isn't what you came here for, I just felt like I cheated the system and wanted to share.
Also this combination is super cheap. It works out to about 50 cents per glass. I will warn you though, they are pretty high in fiber. If you're not used to that, there may be an adjustment period in which you need to be aware of whatever bathrooms are available.

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More from @snickelsox

Snickelsox Profile picture
4 Jul
Here, I picked this for you. It will being you good luck. A 5 leaf clover
Gotta come get it though. A selfie
Bring*

Apparently I'm not lucky enough to escape autocomplete.
Read 4 tweets
Snickelsox Profile picture
4 Jul
Lich: Well done adventurers, you passed the test!

Cleric: What?

L: You've been deemed worthy to complete an epic quest!

C: Another one? We're already on a quest.

L: Huh?

C: A string of them. A king, a dragon, the goblin queen, a talking spider. Quests all the way down!
#DnD
C: I'm beginning to think we will never see the end of these quests.

L: Oh, uhh...

C: It's almost like we're just being kept busy with a string of endless tasks.

L: No no, that can't b-

C: But why would someone want to keep us busy with all these tasks?

L: Uhh...
C: Alright Lich, tell us what is going on.

L: N-nothing brave adventurers! Now about my quest...

C: I have the Archbane Deatheater Mace. Don't make me use it.

L: *tch* And you wonder why we would want to keep you busy.

C: Excuse me?

L: Adventurers can't be left unattended.
Read 6 tweets
Snickelsox Profile picture
20 Jun
Barbarian: Alright, a deal is a deal. I participated in one of your church services. Now you must come to my holy place and do the same.

Cleric: This is a gym.

B: Please, partake of the ritual sacrament.

C: This is a protein shake.

B: Hallowed be our gains.
#DnD
B: Now, bend your knees.

C: Are we praying?

B: Not yet, but you will. Squats are our most cherished mortification.

C: What are we offering this pain to?

B: The holiest of temples, your body. Come back up.

C: *grunts* Oh wow, this is awful. Are we done?

B: *laughs in reps*
*much later*
B: Well, how do you feel?

C: I am a vessel of pain.

B: Excellent. That is your temple being purged of evils. Rest, for we worship again tomorrow.

C: What!? I only go to church once a week!

B: You lack devotion. We will build piety into your chest and back.
Read 6 tweets
Snickelsox Profile picture
7 Apr
Druid: I need your help.

Necromancer: Oooh? A secret plot?

D: Sure. Take this shovel, I'll explain on the way.

*later*

Cleric: Ok, spill. You've been disappearing for weeks. Has the necromancer corrupted you?

D: No, the opposite!

N: We made an underground greenhouse!
#DnD
Cleric: Let me guess, on a graveyard?

Necromancer: Adjacent.

Druid: The soil is very good there.

C: What!? That's disgusting!

N: Efficient.

C: Sacrilegious!

D: Ecologically beneficial. Here, try these tomatoes.

C: I'm not eating your death tomatoes!

D: Your loss.
D: How do you think the circle of life works? Death and rebirth, or reuse, is a natural part.

N: It turns out I am an important bit of that process!

C: But you cheat death!

N: No, I just understand it on a different level. It's an ocean of energy, not a river of consciousness.
Read 10 tweets
Snickelsox Profile picture
5 Apr
Fighter: I'm boooored.

Barbarian: Want to fight a dragon?

F: No.

B: Train?

F: Naw.

B: Anything you want to do?

F: I don't want to do anything. I'm just... blech.

B: Let's go bully some goblins. You love bullying goblins.

F: I do not!

B: I think the goblins disagree.
#DnD
B: Alright friend, let's go do something.

F: I really don't want to.

B: I know and that's why we must.

F: What would you know about this? You're always angry or whatever.

B: I am not but I could be now.

F: Sorry.

B: Don't be. The monster you face now is powerful indeed.
F: What? I'm not fighting, I'm just sad.

B: I know sad, this is not simply sad. You think I am only rage but that is not true. To derive power like mine from an emotion, one must understand their own on an intimate level. I am not just rage. I am sad, I am happy, I am compassion
Read 11 tweets
Snickelsox Profile picture
10 Mar
Halfling: And this one we age in volcanic rock until it can vote.

Elf: You halflings certainly have a... lot of cheeses.

H: You don't even know! There's Mulshoot, Shadow Cheddar, Wormmilk, Bear, Bramblemold, Ashkiln, Angry Mozzarella, Uncheese, Underswiss, Ga-

E: Please.
#DnD
H: Oh, sorry. As a cheesesmith I can get a little carried away.

E: What's your most dangerous cheese?

H: Dangerous? Reaper Blend. It's a mix of demon's milk, fireball spells, and a... well, there are some proprietary ingredients.

E: Can I try it.

H: You'll literally die.
E: I've tried all of the elven cheeses. I think I'll be fine.

H: I've had your "cheese flavored products" and, no, you won't be. Let's start with Mycomunster.

E: Will it kill me?

H: No but it will let you commune with the universe.

E: Is it spicy?

H: To your tastes? Very.
Read 4 tweets

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