cicer Profile picture
12 Aug, 7 tweets, 2 min read
cw: mpreg

Look, my personal CQL headcanon is that LWJ resigns as Chief Cultivator within a year. He waits for WWX to finish his little eat-pray-love journey, they get married, and LWJ quits politics forever.

But I find the idea of Pregji as Chief Cultivator extremely hilarious.
LWJ is already the type of person who will get up and walk out of the room if he finds you boring and tedious. It doesn't even matter if he's in the middle of an important political discussion: IF IT SUCKS, HIT DA BRICKS.
This trait would be dialed up to 11 during his pregnancy. I just know it.

Like, he probably tried to tough it out during his first few months in charge of the cultivation world.

But during pregnancy? If he gets tired/bored/lonely for Wei Ying during a meeting, he just leaves.
If someone asks him to stay, they will regret it.

Catch LWJ telling some random sect leader all about his achy ankles, his terrible gas, and the fact that the baby is standing on his bladder so he needs to go pee RIGHT NOW.
Oh? You didn't want to hear all the gory details of his pregnancy? Then you shouldn't have tried to stop him when he demanded a break. You brought this upon yourself. 💅
I have decided that by the third trimester, WWX attends all the meetings so he can sit on the floor and rub his husband's feet.

All the while, LWJ hand-feeds him snacks as a thank-you.
...The various sect leaders decide that it would be best to solve their problems amongst themselves.

It would really be best to work remotely, don't you all agree??? We don't need in-person meetings anymore. We should all communicate exclusively by letter! Meeting's cancelled!

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More from @cicerfics

26 Jul
I know we never see all the sexy butch ladies of the Nie sect, BUT I believe with all my heart that they exist.

In fact, I believe that the Nie sect has more female disciples than any other!
They're there! They're standing right off screen!

We just don't see them because we're seeing the world through WWX's POV, and he wouldn't notice a pink elephant strolling through Qinghe. He's too busy staring at LWJ!
Anyway, I really do think that NMJ couldn't care less about his disciples' gender. He just wants to know that they're good at fighting and devoted to the sect.

And unlike SOME SECT LEADERS, he would rather chop off his own arm than sexually harass a woman.
Read 5 tweets
19 Jul
...I kinda have some weird random LWJ egg-preg thoughts that I want to ramble about, but I also have a ton of work to get through today, so I can't do that.

This feels very cicerphobic. Cockblocked by capitalism! >:(
Okay! I'm back!!

CW for mpreg and eggpreg. Also, this is not really a cohesive threadfic or anything, just a bunch of scrambled (no pun intended!) thoughts.

But! I have been thinking about Dragonji. I have been Thinking About Him.
There's been lots of Dragonji on my tl lately, so I have been Thinking about how the Lan clan might make babies. And I made the mistake of googling around about reptile reproduction.

(Please don't judge my life choices and how I choose to spend my dwindling time on this planet.)
Read 558 tweets
3 Jun
But what if I pulled together several of my favorite wangxian headcanons and tropes to create a terrifying Franken-concept.

What then.
Here's the thing: you guys know I am very fond of the idea of kindergarten-teacher!LWJ.

You know I am fond of the idea of a modern!LWJ who would not recognize an A-list celebrity if he ran over them with his car.
You know I am fond of the idea of rock-star!WWX.

Hear me out on this: what if I mashed all these concepts together?

What if LWJ was a kindergarten teacher at a posh school?
Read 108 tweets
21 Apr
Sidenote relating to the Background Nielan that I sprinkle in all my modern AUs:

I so enjoy thinking of modern!NMJ as an uncle.

I think he would just ADORE LWJ's babies, and aggressively campaign for the right to take them camping, have them spend the night, etc.
He WANTS to change diapers and give bottles! He WANTS to come to the kids' school plays! He is at the soccer field EVERY weekend, loudly cheering as the kids awkwardly try to maneuver the ball!
He cries when he finds out LWJ is expecting. He cries when he sees the first ultrasound photo. He cries the first time he holds the baby. And the tenth. And probably the twentieth.

Sometimes, he just tears up because the babies EXIST, and NMJ loves babies so mu-huh-huch. 😭
Read 4 tweets
20 Apr
Okay, I have ANOTHER modern!wangxian a/b/o brainworm I must yell about!

I really want! An a/b/o AU! Where LWJ just decides to get artificially inseminated!
He knows he wants a baby, but he doesn't think a relationship is in the cards for him.

And, like. Maybe his parents were an A/O pair. And their relationship was super dysfunctional and unhealthy. So LWJ looks at marriage like...

Hm. I think Not. 😑
So he just buys some sperm, like a Strong Independent Omega Who Don't Need No Alpha. And he gets himself knocked up.

(Sidenote: I am sure LQR FREAKS when he hears about this plan, and objects VERY strenuously!)
Read 39 tweets
20 Apr
So, modern a/b/o with O!LWJ and A!WWX.

I feel like WWX would be...how do I put this delicately...the WORST?
He's one of Those Alphas who is very loud-and-proud about how he is an ALLY, he RESPECTS OMEGAS, etc.

He unironically has a water bottle labeled "respect omega juice".

And he has lots of omega friends, and he gets VERY HUFFY if anyone implies something untoward is going on.
Like, HELLO. Obviously alphas and omegas can be friends! Why are you ASSUMING they're sleeping together?! Are you a SEXIST?! Do you see omegas as SEX OBJECTS?!

Come join us in the 21st century, JIANG CHENG. 🙄
Read 21 tweets

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