Thread by @RedReality4

THREAD: Anyone can change. Even you.

I grew up poor. Oldest boy of 9 children. My dad taught high school drama classes and was a radio DJ on the weekends. He made 14k / year.

My mom was pregnant 10 times (1 sister died at birth). That's 90 months pregnant! It was insane.

My mother couldn't function. She was pregnant or nursing my entire childhood. I started out a mommas boy. The first kid at church with all the Bible answers. I was bullied every day.

My Dad never stood a chance. He couldn't make money, and my Mom kept having babies. It was bad.

My house was the house that smelled off. If the laundry got done it was my Dad that did it. My mom rarely cooked or cleaned. My parents fought all the time. Christmas Eve - presents came in black trash bags, donated from the neighbors, often used.

As the oldest son I saw it all.

Then one day my world changed. My Dad was working 3 jobs, and my barely functioning Mom tells me she is divorcing him...

What? Excuse me?

My insane Mom who runs him ragged and insists she needs more kids and can barely get out of bed is divorcing my Dad?

I decided I hated her.

Don't get me wrong - she was my Mom and I loved her in a way - but I also hated her. I vowed I would never be with anyone like her (a vow I have kept, and one that would cripple my manhood later)...

As the oldest I did the only thing that made sense to me. I became a big problem

I vowed to never be bullied again and started fighting in school. I shaved my head, pierced my ears, even started swearing...

I told my mom that if she divorced my Dad I would never talk to her again. It worked! My parents are still married today... (I give my Dad the credit)

Still - I had no model for what I was going for, who I wanted to be, just as long as it was nothing like my parents.

I think deciding never to be bullied came from being a big brother. I had to set the example.

I had to watch out for my 6 brothers and 2 sisters.

In middle school, I was the biggest nerd - once wore a girl's pair of guess jeans (we shopped at the thrift store for everything), because Noone told me the men's jeans were a green triangle and women's was red. It was bad.

Finally, I stopped trying to fit in. I vowed to be me.

In high school, inspired by the movie Dead Poets Society - I spent 3 months wearing suits and sweater vests. Really corny.

I hated the football team, but I tried out for football, tried to play quarter back. After practice I would get in fights with the guys on the team.

One of the best things that ever happened to me was constant rejection. It made me impervious to failure... I grew an untameable courage.

I made a list of the hottest girls in my school and asked every girl out... got in fights with their boy friends.

I was alone, but ALIVE!

I ran for Student Body President, and lost. Felt dejected for 24 hours, then thought "who cares" and ran for Senior Class President.

Gave a Braveheart speech in front of the School that said "screw the popular kids, this is our high school".

This time I WON

Suddenly people were talking to me. Suddenly girls were asking me out. I kept building.

The adrenaline of facing rejection had become addictive. I was the "Go Guy", could go to any party and get any girls number...

Kept building. Had to stay humble.

I am still a big brother. I taught my little brothers everything I learned.

I went to college on a leadership scholarship, went on a mission to Germany for 2 years (Mormon), and came home to date and marry the girl of my dreams.

I thought I was the man, undestructable. Nope.

In the absense of leadership, I floundered. I married my dream girl and ruined my marriage because I was still addicted to getting validation from outside myself.

My anger toward my Mom had never been resolved, and my vow to never be with someone like my Mom was a problem.

Suddenly, married (to someone the opposite of my Mom) I was damaging my self, my marriage, and I could only get that validation I used to get by chasing women by earning money. This worked for awhile too, but in the end I was a black hole of Need... Ugh.

It takes years, practice, and guts to rebuild who you are.

And I've been helped by #redpill, by @beamanforreal @DrRalphNap @OfWudan @RationalMale @EdLatimore @LifeMathMoney and @alpharivelino immensely.

It's all real - just like I'm real.

If you needed this today - keep going!

It takes guts to keep failing, but to realize you are getting closer to your goal!

Today I have built a life, a lasting marriage and several companies, passive income through real estate, and my journey continues!

Someone asked me why I tweet about this stuff.

I started as a big brother. I still have 6 younger brothers, 2 brothers in law, and my dad I look out for.

If you need a big Bro to get some feedback from, hit me up!

And thank you to the brothers on here for being real ones!

One last and critically important thing :

Forgive your parents, especially your Mom.

You will stay broken until you forgive your Mother.