Thread by @ThyConsigliori

27 August 2021 #MyStory #9

You'll find it interesting that Phil had always guided me away from a vision of joining him in this business. I do mean always. Phil's stated dream was for me to become a preacher. He meant it, too. And in the end, he made 100% sure that I wouldn't.

2) So on that day in 1981, when Tim celebrated my sales skills and opened his arms to me, I was amazed. I'll never forget sitting there with him in their conference room what the purchase order was being composed. Let's talk about drinking for a minute.

3) Tim offered me coffee. I had never had so much as a single sip of coffee yet. Not Coca-Cola, nor Pepsi, nor even Mountain Dew. Caffeine was forbidden in our religion. And of course I had never tasted beer or wine, let alone any of the hard stuff. Obviously all forbidden.

4) Had it been any later in the day - it was about 11:00 AM - I'm sure Tim would have offered me a Scotch or a Bourbon. When I said "no" to the coffee he offered it was no big deal, but I remember the look on his face. It said, "There are depths here. Interesting."

5) Looking around the conference room, and the office just out the door, the emotion I had really did blow my mind. My inner vision shifted. "I like business," it said. "I could do this," it said. I had never had that thought before. It's worth exploring.

6) It was many decades later when I commenced my efforts to document more than just an ethical salesmanship, an ethical Capitalism. I stole the Golden Rule and transformed it like so: the Customer's profit first, and greatest.

7) Profit your customer first, before your own profit is created. Profit your customer more than you take from the transaction.

Do unto your customer as you would have done to you.

This root has grounded my sales and business career. I didn’t know it in 1981, yet.

8) Sitting there with Tim, answering his questions and enjoying the moment, I was truly shocked that I might have an inner vision of success in business. I wish I'd known how to invite him to dinner. How to go out and have fun after work. Of course I didn't know how to do that.

9) Yet, on such moments does destiny turn. I drove away, purchase order in hand, and in that drive - about 45 minutes back to our warehouse shop - I internalized the following fact into my identity. I can sell. Give me something to sell, and I can sell it.

10) I didn't have these words yet, but it was simply about making a good decision. A salesman's job is to help his prospect make a good yes or no decision. Period. He has no other job. He MOST CERTAINLY does NOT have the job of getting to yes.

11) An ethical salesman's job is to get to a RIGHTEOUS yes, when it exists. It is far more about getting to a RIGHTEOUS no. The ratio is 90% no's to 10% yesses. An ethical salesman's job is NOT to tilt the scale, or blind the prospect into saying yes no matter what.

12) I believe that's part of what Tim felt about me. I think he knew I'd never tilt the scale of my presentation. Rather, I merely shared what were the pertinent facts, and served the best possible decision. I say again, I did NOT have these words in my thoughts at the time.

13) What I did have on that drive back to our shop was a 100% new respect for what business people do. Fleets have telephone lines and back then paid dearly for it. Tim's job was to ensure the best telephone service at the lowest possible cost to his customers. That sells!

14) Flying back to California the next day I was a Social Science major, specializing in history and psychology. My dream was a PhD and teaching. A new dream emerged. I dreamed I'd employ my psychological and historical chops to consulting to business, in addition to teaching.

15) School started the next week. I'd been corralled into a Teacher's Assistant function by my Sociology professor, for a class on Tuesdays and Thursdays at 10:00. There are several stories behind that fact, for another time.

16) It was in that class that I met Kate. Lord I'll never forget the first moment I saw her. She had on a red sweater and tailored, checkered slacks. She was the classiest woman out of all 25,000 students at San Jose State at the time.

17) It took me 3 weeks to get her attention. September 1 was the first day of class. September 15 I made my move. The days go like so: 1, 3, 8, 10, 15. In four previous classes, I hadn't been able to get Kate's attention.

18) What I figured out was this. Kate always got to class first, before anyone else. I was showing up later. Not late for class, but late for the seating arrangement. So, I'd not been able to sit anywhere near Kate. That Tuesday the 15th, I got there first.

19) I'd observed that she sat, NOT in the front row, but in the front left quadrant, a row or two back. So, getting there first, I sat down in the far right back. I watched this glorious woman come in, sit down, and start preparing to take her copious, flawless notes.

20) We have to talk about openers now. What do you say to a girl in a bar when you want her to talk to you? I had tried and FAILED abysmally. Every opening line I came up with was terrible, and most of them never got tried.

21) And understand, even though I was underaged and didn't drink, I'd been in bars already and tried to open up conversations with beautiful women. Crushed. I got nowhere. Yet, here was Kate and in my class where I was a TA.

22) "What's your name," I asked. No introduction. No pitch. Just a direct question. Oh, I had moved from the far right rear to the desk right next to hers to the right. She was about 3 feet away. And I asked. I was cool and calm and nervous and scared out of my head.

23) I'll leave you dangling as to the rest of our encounter and what happened after. I will share that I started carrying her books for her - yes, we used to carry all books with us to each class - and that time was the foundation of our friendship.

24) I'll also share that I started tutoring her for her statistics class which she abhorred and she'd have failed, no kidding, without my help. You can ask her over at @KateScopelliti. She'll back me up, as my story is absolutely true.

25) Let's talk about numbers. When Kate declared her love for me - I'm skipping steps in the process - I counted up the women/girls I'd been in love with before Kate. Dating back to age 7, they were 21 in count. Kate was my 22nd love.

26) Of those 22, she was the one and only to ever DECLARE love. When we met, she was still married to her first husband of 12 years, and dated back to her boyfriend in high school, for a total of 16 years of relationship.

27) Want the most powerful moment? Kate found me on campus one day. I was at the top of about 8 or 9 steps or so. She looked up at me and said, "By the way, I thought you might want to know, my husband left last night."

28) Now that's selling. I was 10 years younger than Kate. Yet I stole her heart out of a 16 year relationship and 12 year marriage. I won Kate. There's no sale - and don't react shallowly, sales matter - I'll ever complete to its equal. I won Kate.

29) I moved in with Kate - NOT knowing I had - the night of 24 December 1981. We shared Christmas. We've shared every Christmas ever since. For the life of me, I'll never know how I succeeded at that. I'll just always know that I won Kate's heart. I still have it.

30) Let's get over something. Let's get over that "Selling is bad." It's only about making the best decision. I was the best decision that Kate ever made. 40 years together is pretty good proof.

Today's thread - 27 August 2021 - ends at #30

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