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David Burge

Follow @iowahawkblog

8 Sep, 6 tweets, 2 min read

https://twitter.com/ethelredunread/status/1435589990537437185

https://twitter.com/ethelredunread/status/1435589990537437185

https://twitter.com/ethelredunread/status/1435591681366241282

If you can't understand the utter mock-worthy absurdity of a bunch of Brussels bureaucrats issuing HR warnings to cavemen who just dispatched the largest military force on Earth, I'm afraid I can't help you

https://twitter.com/ethelredunread/status/1435591681366241282

https://twitter.com/ethelredunread/status/1435593802287403009

So are you saying that your every waking thought is haunted by an obsessive jealous rage over my virile animal magnetism

https://twitter.com/ethelredunread/status/1435593802287403009

https://twitter.com/ethelredunread/status/1435600906456899593

*runs to Google image search*
*looks at first picture of some guy named David Burge*

https://twitter.com/ethelredunread/status/1435600906456899593

https://twitter.com/ethelredunread/status/1435602921765408769

wow, you got me there, totally not obsessed internet detective

https://twitter.com/ethelredunread/status/1435602921765408769

https://twitter.com/ethelredunread/status/1435605074810744834

I'm not one to turn away gift-wrapped material

https://twitter.com/ethelredunread/status/1435605074810744834

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More from @iowahawkblog

David Burge

@iowahawkblog

9 Sep

https://twitter.com/cmsub/status/1436050489179787264

ONE DAY AT A COMPANY WITH 101 EMPLOYEES

intercom: Bob and Chuck please report to the manager's office

https://twitter.com/cmsub/status/1436050489179787264

https://twitter.com/broccolirobh88/status/1436069711792394256

Or, on second thought, how about I just fire you both now so I don't have to deal with any of this bullshit at all

https://twitter.com/broccolirobh88/status/1436069711792394256

I got 99 problems and OSHA ain't one

Read 7 tweets

David Burge

@iowahawkblog

7 Sep

@NateEMiller

I have it on good authority that @NateEMiller will be keeping track of the CFB Marble Game again this season. Rankings aren't really meaningful until week 5 or 6.

https://twitter.com/Phila_Mino/status/1435261079848955913

Refresher on the rules:

1. Every P5 (+ND & BYU) team starts with 200 marbles, every G5 team starts with 100
2. win at home/neutral field, take 20% of opponent's marbles; win on road, take 25%

Thus as of right now:

Every P5 team w/ a road W vs a P5 team has 250 marbles
Every P5 team w/ a home W vs a P5 team has 240
Every P5 team w/ a road W vs G5 team has 225
Every P5 team w/ home W vs G5 team has 210
Every P5 team w/ win vs FCS has 200

/1

Read 7 tweets

David Burge

@iowahawkblog

6 Sep

Time to get to work on a Labor Day episode of #DavesCarIDService

*1959 Cadillac assembly line, when Detroit and tailfins were at their peak. If you have a mystery vehicle you'd like solved, please first read our Terms of Service agreement:

dcids.substack.com/p/dcids-the-te…

https://twitter.com/koconnor34/status/1434507611160793088

Behind this dapper Mad Man and his elegant mother are a 1960 Pontiac, and behind it a 1955 or 56 Mercury, unable to tell due to blur

https://twitter.com/koconnor34/status/1434507611160793088

Read 26 tweets

David Burge

@iowahawkblog

6 Sep

What's all this about dewormed horses shooting COVID doctors in Oklahoma

I blame Bat Child

God bless our brave Rolling Stone reporters on the ground in Oklahoma, risking assault rifle-toting horses, COVID tornados, and murderous Sturgis bikers all hopped up on dewormers and meth to bring us the news

Read 8 tweets

David Burge

@iowahawkblog

5 Sep

Today's #DavesCarIDService will be short and sweet

*The Pick Sisters, performers with Irving's Midgets, who are about to open for Barbara Lamarr and "The Shooting of Dan McGrew" at the Riviera Theater Chicago 1924. In the background you can see the Uptown Theater under construction.

**Standing behind a 1923-24 Nash sedan; across Racine Ave are a 1924 Moon and 1924 Hudson sedan. The corner of Broadway, Lawrence & Racine in Uptown was ground zero for Prohibition Chicago speakeasies and theaters, including the Aragon Ballroom and Al Capone's Green Mill.

Read 26 tweets