Thread by @DisInHigherEd

Anonymous Story #16 - Waste of Resources

We will be posting this story as a thread below but if you'd prefer to read it as a blog you can do that
[blog post] disabledinhighered.weebly.com/blog/waste-of-…
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#DisabledInHigherEd #DEHEM21 #DisInHigherEd

...this is difficult for me to talk about. I'm chronically ill. I recently graduated with my PhD after 8 years in graduate school. I thought the best way to receive accommodations during graduate school would be to talk to the disabled students office–I was wrong. 2/

As a graduate student, because I was technically an employee, they could only help with accommodations for classes (which I ended up not needing accommodations for). 3/

I went to the office in charge of disabled employees, and they told me that because I was a trainee, I was technically a student, and that they couldn't help me with accommodations for lab. I spoke to my PI about it. He said it was fine, and I was so relieved! 4/

However, as graduate school went on, I saw that he didn't actually have faith in me. I was taken off my project and it was given to someone else. He allotted less time and energy towards my new projects than other people's. 5/

My second year, I was experiencing a flare-up of one of my medical conditions that was so severe, I had to be hospitalized. While I was in the hospital, he told one of my labmates that I was a waste of resources. I thought about quitting, but I needed my health insurance. 6/

I spoke with the ombud, and they weren't helpful either–if they escalated, there was no way of keeping my issues with him confidential, given that I was only one of three graduate students in his lab. I feared retaliation. 7/

I kept pushing myself to continue with accommodations and often overworked myself. In some ways, the response to the COVID-19 pandemic helped me. The accommodations that I had wanted (the ability to work from home) were suddenly routine for everyone. 8/

This was also embittering because it showed that these accommodations were always possible. They just didn't want to give them to me. I did, eventually, finish my research, and defended during the pandemic. I started my postdoc a few weeks ago. 9/

I can't bring myself to ask my new PI about accommodations. I guess I'm just going to do my best to get by without them. I know I'm still burnt out from graduate school, and that this will probably just continue the burn-out. 10/

But once again, I need the health insurance that's afforded by my position to continue to function. I just hope I can keep scraping by & that someday things will get better but I'm very tired.
_
Thank you to the anonymous author for sharing their story. Fin/
#AcademicAbleism