"Are you interested in French cinema, at all, Ted?"
For those who don’t get the reference, it is a nod to the Fast Show Ted & Ralph sketches in the 90’s

The sketches usually involved excruciating attempts by a painfully shy & lonely impoverished aristocrat, Ralph, to strike up a conversation with Ted who worked on the estate.
The Ted and Ralph sketches were always poignant, but none more so than the 1997 drinking game sketch, one of the high watermarks of 90’s British sketch show comedy.
#TheFastShow
“It’s that balancing act between tragedy & comedy. If you can get them balanced right in the middle, it makes the tragedy that much more tragic & the comedy that much funnier” @monstroso
#FastShow @PaulWhitehous64 @simonday @mariamcerlane @RealBobMortimer
“And on the branches spread out wide
All the tears I’ve ever cried”

In life, as in drama, a balance must be struck between comedy & tragedy, joy & sorrow, light & dark.

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More from @StefSimanowitz

26 Dec
“If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor”

Veteran anti-apartheid campaigner, Desmond Tutu, has died”

He won the Nobel Peace Prize in 1984 & two years later became Archbishop of Cape Town #DesmondTutu #Tutu
The oppression & brutality of apartheid never dampened #DesmondTutu’s belief in humanity’s potential

“You can overcome some of the most horrendous circumstances & emerge on the other side, not broken, with the eagerness to spread goodness & compassion.”
Waking up to the news of #DesmondTutu’s death, then thinking back on his life, I was reminded of something I wrote last year:

“The heart is built to break
It breaks each day
The heart is built to fill with joy
It fills with joy each day”
Read 6 tweets
25 Dec
#BREAKING: Large numbers of turkeys have been gathering in towns & cities across the US & UK to protest against #Christmas

This footage shows 20+ turkeys circling a dead cat outside the home of Derek Clutterbuck, who runs the local butchers in Borcester.
This “gathering of the turkeys” was prophesied in 1704 by Isaac Newton

“And lo, in second decade of the second millennium, when dark-souled men who think themselves Gods have seized the seat of power, the turkeys shall gather & shall circle the dead cat” openculture.com/2015/10/in-170…
Jokes aside, in 1996 Carl Sagan warned:

“We’ve arranged a society based on science & technology, in which nobody understands anything about science & technology. This combustible mixture of ignorance & power, sooner or later, is going to blow up in our faces”

That time is now👇
Read 5 tweets
25 Dec
Merry Christmas from the Temple Church

Founded in 1119, this church was where the Magna Carta was drafted in January 1215 after King John was confronted here by the barons

Magna Carta was sealed 5 months later & would become the basis for Rule of Law, democracy & human rights.
“No freeman shall be taken or [&] imprisoned or disseised or exiled or in any way destroyed, nor will we go upon him nor send upon him, except by the lawful judgment of his peers or [&] by the law of the land”
MAGNA CARTA

Midnight mass at Temple Church is over

It’s #Christmas!
King John Lackland signed the Magna Carta in a water meadow called Runnymede near Windsor on 12 June 1215.

The treaty went on to influence key declarations of human rights & its principles of freedom, democracy & the rule of law still drives continuing protests around the world.
Read 5 tweets
23 Dec
1/. As an investigative journalist, people often approach me to use my skills to look into things

A recent example was this photo of John & Yoko

You might see it & not notice anything out of the ordinary, but for me something about their arse-cracks “didn’t pass the smell test”
2/. As an investigative journalist, one learns never to take things at face value

One arse-crack may appear to be longer than the other, but as the Muller-Lyer optical illusion shows, appearances can be deceptive

So like all good investigators, I turned to science & got a ruler
3/. By measuring their butt-cracks I was able to ascertain that this was no optical illusion

But whilst most people would have left it at that, I still wasn’t satisfied

I did further in-depth research & discovered this photo

This was proof that the other picture was...a fake!
Read 5 tweets
21 Dec
Tonight is the longest night of the year.

Sunset over Stonehenge & from space👇#WinterSolstice #WinterSolstice2021 Image
“Be like the sun for grace & mercy
Be like the night to cover others' faults
Be like running water for generosity. Be like death for rage & anger
Be like the Earth for modesty
Appear as you are
Be as you appear”
(Rumi)

Photos of #WinterSolstice sunrise: @EH_Stonehenge/@Minispecs ImageImageImageImage
Read 4 tweets
19 Dec
1/. In May, when we could only meet one person, the PM was drinking in the No.10 garden

When our Christmases were cancelled they we’re having parties

On 5/3/20, when the PM was saying “one theory is we could #TakeItOnTheChin” the 1st Briton died of #COVID19
(Pic @Coldwar_Steve)
2/. Around the table with @BorisJohnson are:

👉Dominic Cummings, with a glass of wine, one week before the #BarnardCastle story broke

👉Andrew Reynolds, the guy who’s investigating whether anyone in No.10 broke #COVID19 rules by attending parties

👉Carrie Symonds with the baby
3/. “You can meet one other person from outside your household in an outdoor, public place. But please keep 2 metres apart. Please stick with the rules & don’t take risks”

@MattHancock, 15 May 2020, the same day as the #DowningStParty & 2 days after the #CareHomeScandal broke👇
Read 5 tweets

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