Everyone has a slightly different attitude to books.
Some give them the white glove treatment.
Others break the spine.
Or use book marks.
Write in the margins.
Or have 'post it notes'.
I am a corner turner. Top of the page for something to read again. Bottom for an 'extra'
important passage.
The amount of angles in this one is a reflection of how important a read it is.
As someone who had a loved one who also had a fondness for hats, and in later years kaftans, it was an opportunity to learn about a fellow wonderful, colourful man who was loved
So very much.
As the 'predominant' person involved in his care I shared some of the frustrations particularly around information sharing. I was 'lucky' though. When well and unwell John was able to voice that he wanted me involved. I know that was often
the case for my relatives; I think he mellowed out a bit toward his later years. (The staff on the wards he was admitted to may have a different opinion... he was often described as 'a character'!)
The book did make me wonder, why are we not asking a person, particularly one
who has a relapsing illness, who they would like involved when they are 'well', when they have capacity and then follow their instructions and best interests if later? With the difficulties accessing records at times, perhaps the carer could be given a copy too? It could be
written into a crisis plan, or even enacted by a GP. . .Surely that's not too novel an idea?
Most of the bottom corners represent the above kind of thinking. We know the problems - and if you don't I impore you to start trying to walk in your patients or their relatives shoes,
start looking, start listening, stop denying. Start reading some #NMC or #GMC or your governing body hearings. Inquests. The local press. Follow people on here. Never stop learning. Never stop trying do better.
As someone who has tried to navigate services for 17 years, I found
the book painfully familiar in places.
As someone who is a pracitioner, more than anything this book has made me start thinking; what can I do to get in a position where I can start to straighten the corners. With urgency.
If you are a #Students#student#mentalhealth#nurse and genuinely can't afford it DM me. I will be able to afford 1 or 2. On the condition you pass it on. 💚
There were a large number of things that contributed to me becoming unwell.
One I haven't spoken about was being told that legal advice was being taken for plagerising something I had never set eyes on.
It took 7 months to find out that was not the case.
In that time I quit
the ISVA training I was doing. I'd completed the paper work but couldn't bring myself to submit it.
I stopped my masters.
I stopped all involvement in anything sexual health or sexual safety related.
No one noticed*. That's okay. I never mentioned it on here because I was ashamed
I was embaressed, but more than that I was scared. My whole identity was being a nurse and I thought I was going to lose everything.
I am not sure why tonight I decided to write this tweet. But I wanted to break some of the power the whole situation has had over me for so long.
I will be using my own experience to TRY and educate and encourage reflection, particularly in those who work in #mentalhealth or encounter
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individuals who may self harm.
Those with lived experience may find it unhelpful and may want to not to read it.
So here goes...
1) Self harm can take many forms; and one person can use multiple across their life span. I have engaged in at least 7 different behaviours
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from my teenage years up until now.
2) Just as the method can change so can the function. 15/16 year old me self harmed for punishment - the belief that I had been the reason for my parents separation. I have self harmed in order to feel in control; to release a build up
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Today is 100 days since I was first admitted to hospital after taking a mixed overdose. I won't elaborate further.
Since then I have had 3 admissions; 2 to general wards and 1 to a #mentalhealth unit. I spent time as an informal patient and also detained under Section 3 1/21
I was under #Crisis services until last week...
Today is also the first night in 99 that I am spending alone, so to occupy myself and acknowledge the 'milestone', I thought I would reflect on 10 things that I have learnt in that time...
This comes with trigger warnings 2/21
As I will be speaking about #SelfHarm and #Suicide. I also apologise in advance for any poor grammer - I am typing this out on my phone, unable to use a key board.
These are just my own experiences/thoughts/opinions - they are not meant to be generalised. Nor are they based 3/21
I've started adding gems just so the novelty doesn't wear off.
The anchor one has most meaning.
First because I ordered myself one as a bracelet with the word 'hope' a few days before my hospital admission. I haven't worn it yet.
Second, because I have been trying to think of a way that I can visualise 'protective factors'. The best I have thought of so far, is as anchors; things that help hold me down and help give me stabiliy through the storm.
Work/my identity as a #nurse is one of my biggest anchors
and I no longer feel the need to justify or explain that (and believe me I have been challenged to numerous times over the last few months).
So anyway. This leads to another subject. I WENT BACK TO WORK TODAY 🥳. Well it was more of a showing my face and that I am alive, but