#Putin is now powerful enough to have his own genre of jokes

Here goes, enjoy:

When Putin was late for school, the teacher punished the whole class for being early.
😂

#Humour
#VladimirPutin
1/
When Putin's phone rings in the theater, they pause the movie.
😂

#Humour
#VladimirPutin

2/
Doctor: "You have Cancer".
#Putin : "Tell it, it has two weeks to live".
😂

#Humour
#VladimirPutin

3/
When #Putin looks in the mirror, there's no reflection because there is only 1 Putin.
😂

#Humour
#VladimirPutin

4/
When #Putin was born, he named his parents.
😂

#Humour
#VladimirPutin

5/
Russia didn't choose him, he chose Russia.
😂

#Humour
#VladimirPutin

6/
#Putin calls 911 to ask what is their emergency.
😂

#Humour
#VladimirPutin

7/
#Putin built the hospital in which he was born.
😂

#Humour
#VladimirPutin

8/
When #Putin coughs, #COVID19 wears a mask.
😂

#Humour
#VladimirPutin

9/
When #Putin creates an account, the terms and conditions agree with him.
😂

#Humour
#VladimirPutin

10/
Stop calling him Russian James Bond. James Bond is British Vladimir Putin.
😂

#Humour
#VladimirPutin

11/
When #Putin didn't go to school, the school declared it a Holiday.
😂

#Humour
#VladimirPutin

12/
When #Putin was born, he slapped the doctor for not crying.
😂

#Humour
#VladimirPutin

13/
This guy never flushes the toilet, he just scares the shit out of it.
😂

#Humour
#VladimirPutin

14/

• • •

Missing some Tweet in this thread? You can try to force a refresh
 

Keep Current with Devi Prasad Rao 🇮🇳

Devi Prasad Rao 🇮🇳 Profile picture

Stay in touch and get notified when new unrolls are available from this author!

Read all threads

This Thread may be Removed Anytime!

PDF

Twitter may remove this content at anytime! Save it as PDF for later use!

Try unrolling a thread yourself!

how to unroll video
  1. Follow @ThreadReaderApp to mention us!

  2. From a Twitter thread mention us with a keyword "unroll"
@threadreaderapp unroll

Practice here first or read more on our help page!

More from @DeviPrasadRao8

Nov 24, 2021
Thread alert!
Just to show how short-lived public memory is & why there is no fear of the consequences of our actions (or inactions), let's take a quick trip down memory lane.

On January 7th 2010, Sub Inspector Vetrivel from the Alwarkuruchi Police Station in

1/
Tirunelveli District near the southern tip of Tamil Nadu was driving on the road on routine duty, in uniform. SI Vetrivel was a decorated cop as he had been part of the Special Task Force that hunted down Veerappan.

2/
Out of the blue, he was attacked by three assailants with crude country-made bomb. They knew he was a cop as he was in uniform, yet chopped his legs and left him bleeding on the road, crying out for help. The event occurred in broad daylight.

3/
Read 13 tweets
Sep 17, 2021
Thread alert
Today, apart from the birthday, two monumentous events have occurred
1 Over 2 crore Indians vaccinated
2 State-of-the-art office for Indian Army inaugurated

Till the actual events occurred, the thresholds crossed, the targets achieved, they was little or no talk
1/
Till yesterday, we were proud of vaccinating a crore, didn't imagine we'd do two today

Till yesterday, we were celebrating new bullet-proof vests & OROP for our Jawans, with no idea that the Army hired trained monkeys to chase away wild monkeys from their offices

2/
Whether for a construction or vaccination, the planning, tendering, procurement, execution happened quietly, smoothly, away from the public gaze

To administer 2 crore vaccines, staffing, their tea & lunch breaks, vaccines & their cold chains, staff morale & updating COWIN

3/
Read 13 tweets
Aug 28, 2021
Thread alert

At a Clubhouse earlier today on "Hindu Unity" I shared the following thoughts:

1 "Hindu Unity" is NOT a goal in itself. What do we do after uniting all the Hindus? The focus must be on goals & outcomes. Bringing people together is an ever, ongoing process

1/
2 Are Hindus united?
Answer: Yes & No. If the cause is good, doesn't hurt anyone, is legitimate & is legal, Hindus rally behind the cause. Raising ₹ 5500 crores in ~2 months by collecting small donations from households across the country is the best example I can think of.

2/
Raising lakhs in a few hours for Ramalingam, the murdered activist in Tamil Nadu, is another

If the cause is hurtful, traumatic, involves violence, confrontation, deceit or breaks the law, Hindus will NOT congregate in large numbers. Even if it is essential. Why I will

3/
Read 13 tweets
Aug 27, 2021
Thread alert
We've witnessed startling developments in #Afghanistan
Where a mighty USA succumbed to a loosely knit group of religious zealots
What was supposed to be an end to the never-ending war will now spur a different kind of never-ending war

1/
We hear so much of the American military-industrial complex,
Of how a never-ending conflict means never-ending profits & basically caters to Corporate profits
This thread seeks to walk you through how such a complex thrives
By explaining one small, harmless example

Read on

2/
The humble Penny

Worth one hundredth of a dollar & minted as a 2.5 gram coin with 97.5% zinc, US Mint churns out roughly 8 billion pennies every year, ⅔ of their capacity

Even with just 2.5% copper, they cost more to produce than they're worth

Risky if swallowed due to Zn
3/
Read 8 tweets
Aug 26, 2021
How was this temple built?
For every layer of stone they placed, they filled the surrounding with sand from the bed of nearby Cauvery, till the reached the top. The inner, hollow triangle fromed by the interlocking stones alone was strong enough to bear that weight

1/n
For the Vimana, they built a 4km ramp. Once it was placed, the sand was excavated to reveal the majestic temple, which was believed to be the King's stairway to heaven ❤

FYI, the rock used is not native to the area & must have been hauled from over 100 kms away

2/
A side story
While on a hunting expedition, Raja Raja Chola stopped & asked an old lady for water which she happily gave him. The grateful king granted her a boon & she asked for a replica of this temple in her village. So a miniature was built in Darasuram, near Kumbhakonam!
3/
Read 4 tweets
Aug 6, 2021
Long thread alert
My challenge to you is:
Can you read up to the last tweet?

The latest, longest ever list of things names after the infamous Nehru-Gandhi-Vadra parivaar
Its a sign of the dominance of a dynasty
India's subservience to one family

#GandhiParivaarMuktBharat
1/n
Please feel free to add, edit, or suggest deletions
Excludes Govt schemes, slums, minor roads & Pidis

CUPS & TOURNAMENTS
1 Rajiv Gandhi Gold Cup Kabaddi Tournament
2 Rajiv Gandhi Sadbhavana Run
3 Rajiv Gandhi Federation Cup Boxing Championship

#GandhiParivaarMuktBharat
2/n
4 Rajiv Gandhi International Tournament (Football)
5 NSCI – Rajiv Gandhi Memorial Run, New Delhi
6 Pulinkunnu Rajiv Gandhi Boat Race, Kerala
7 Rajiv Gandhi International Artistic Gymnastic Tournament
8 Rajiv Gandhi Kabbadi Meet

#GandhiParivaarMuktBharat
3/n
Read 148 tweets

Did Thread Reader help you today?

Support us! We are indie developers!


This site is made by just two indie developers on a laptop doing marketing, support and development! Read more about the story.

Become a Premium Member ($3/month or $30/year) and get exclusive features!

Become Premium

Don't want to be a Premium member but still want to support us?

Make a small donation by buying us coffee ($5) or help with server cost ($10)

Donate via Paypal

Or Donate anonymously using crypto!

Ethereum

0xfe58350B80634f60Fa6Dc149a72b4DFbc17D341E copy

Bitcoin

3ATGMxNzCUFzxpMCHL5sWSt4DVtS8UqXpi copy

Thank you for your support!

:(