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Carr🖤

Jun 6 • 6 tweets • 5 min read

I just turned off #airplanemode so that I could text my granny so that we keep our routine and she don't pop up over here BUT truthfully her son [the artist formerly known dad] had me in my feelings last night.

I'm grateful that I handled it "well" but damn.
#carreconfession

I really be tryna be chill but tbh my parents... they are something else.

I be tryna stay out the way& still get hit w/ emotional nonsense.
I just am not interested.
Yall ever came to the conclusion that ur parents don't FW you based on their actions? Ever happened twice?!

One of my parents be cyber stalking me BUT has not talked me in 6 years... like, why so obsessed with me?

My other parent, it's a lot... so you want to be in contact with me but only when it's convenient to you and your new family and saving face w/others?

Ion want no parts.

I'm exhausted by the gaslighting; dysfunction; and inconsistency.

Yall really don't know that yall made me into someone who is very skilled in isolation; separation; detachment, etc.

I am literally NOT gonna allow yall to drive fcking crazy... been there done, done that.

I really need to send these negros a bill for therapy I been paying for since I was 19.
I'm so grateful I'm alive and possess the ability to see things more clearly cause yeah last night woulda had me behaving real impulsively.
ShoutOUT 2ME 4 Keeping My Train On the MFKN TRACKS.

Anyways, let me go get ready for my #EMDR therapy appointment.

If you deal with #cpstd or #ptsd ,etc... I reccomend trying it especially if you can secure a competent EMDR #therapist.

#SAVEYOURSELF
#AllRoadsLeadToSuccess
#ThisTooShallPass

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More from @CeeJayLove88

Carr🖤

@CeeJayLove88

Jun 7

I #showered today, went to my eye appointment, and intended to go work at a coffee shop.

My #Depression: *zaps me of all energy no matter how hopeful we were for the day.*

My #Anxiety: I mean what if you go the coffee shop and someone steals your computer or hit your car?

Me takes phone off of #airplanemode to call my insurance company--waits on hold for 45+ minutes... no biggie.

Personal call comes through, I pick up and I REMEMBER
why my phone been on #airplanemode for days.

Humans can be exhausting+ I'm already exhausted. Not the best combo.

Me returns home.

Me:* feels defeated; guilty; exhausted; invalidated; but still NOT giving up.*

Me: *puts phone back on #airplanemode for safety*

Me: *continues be gentle with myself;drinks water; and remind myself that I am important, valuable, worthy, lovable,and enough.*

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Carr🖤

@CeeJayLove88

Jun 6

I took my contacts out BEFORE I found me a couple episodes of #babydaddymaury and kept up ended up on #liedetectormaury which is NOT my preference...

So now I'm listening to #Cheaters... 😶

Buddy Ass said, "why you tryna come over on a week day; you usually come over on the weekend... why you tryna change up?" as he taking some girl out to dinner while telling his gf he at home.
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

*they been together 5 years
*his gf just hauled off on the side chick

When you want your dude but yo dude don't want you...
😬😬😬

Mfs be having all the clues...

And still be acting clueless.

The thrill is GONE, my baby.

Let it go... ELSA!!!

Read 7 tweets

Carr🖤

@CeeJayLove88

Apr 29

I relate differently because my life experiences have created a necessity for GENUINE reciprocity, consistency, respect, kindness, care, effort, and transparency.

I will NEVER be afraid to walk from anyone OR anything that requires me betray myself to be connected them.

I allowed myself to be in relationships (romantic, platonic, familial, business, etc.) where my value or impact was not considered; my wellbeing was compromised; and I was made to feel like I was hard to love.

#DearYoungCarre: Please forgive me.

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Carr🖤

@CeeJayLove88

Feb 19

Yall ever experienced #heartbreak and then was like, " i WILL neVEr lEt AnyONe bREaK MY hEArT aGAin"...

Then life hits you with "HOLD MY FUCKING BEER..."

I must've never LOVED, been loved, or felt so connected to another human being like this... EVER.

This is the part where Im supposed to say:
"Men are dogs."
"ALL men are this or that."
"I AM NEVER OPENING UP AGAIN."
"FBGM!!!"
"I CAN'T TRUST ANOTHER MAN AS LONG AS HE HAS A PULSE."

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Carr🖤

@CeeJayLove88

Dec 25, 2021

Yall keep asking ME why I'm NOT spending #xmas with my father, I WASN'T INVITED.

I don't believe in going places where I'm NOT invited, celebrated, embraced, empowered,or appreciated.

So,yeah. there ya go. Yall could practice NOT being in spaces that dont want yall there too.

Stop FORCING yallself in folks life then being MAD cause they not responding or reacting positively.
#ThinkAboutIt:
The more time you spend with people who don't fuck with you, the more time you miss out on spending time with people who DO fuck with you.

Oh and for the folks who said "spend the holiday with your mother (and "reconcile"🙄)", bro we AIN'T spoke since my Grandmother's Funeral in 2016.

Shordy NOT tryna fa-la-la-la-la with ME.🎅🏿

And I'm NOT knowingly expecting for her to be someone she has NEVER been, TF. 🤷🏿‍♀️

Read 6 tweets

Carr🖤

@CeeJayLove88

Dec 23, 2021

I been back home, like in #GaryIndiana, for like 8 calendars and people STILL think I'm gone.

I guess I stay out the way too good.
I mind my business too well.
I stay in my lane too good.
I focus on my focus too well.
I only prioritize my priorities.
All that other SHIT is beyond me.
It's MY energy + I aint wasting on shit that AINT productive, inspiring, or meaningful.