Thread by @KaylaQFrawley

This mornings rant will be about sexual assault, how to support your friends, where to get help, how lonely it is, how prevalent it is and how common it will be when ppl walk away.

I was assaulted recently. Unfortunately this is coming out on social media. Here goes. #trauma

What is really unfortunate is that those of us who have a history with trauma can often have unpredictable responses to another traumatic event. Our nervous systems are pretty shot once we’ve experienced a lot.
#PTSD survivors specifically have a low stress tolerance.

This is why you check on your ‘strong friends’ - which I probably am in every friendship.

It’s honestly embarrassing when you realize your stress threshold is so thin that just can’t handle stress you could before. You makes you feel really bad.

pacesconnection.com/blog/how-ptsd-…

I’ve really* had to learn why I get rageful and high stress quickly these days. Specially these last 3 days. It’s cause I have pretty serious PTSD. But, that diagnosis really isn’t cohesive for the rest of the world, cause the world is traumatizing af.

#ptsdawareness

The world hates it when it’s someone we know, even tho - math says - it nearly always is. Sometimes friends, colleagues, and close friends will have to process their own realization that this person they know was able to assault someone. This means they pull away. #assault #ALONE

Add on someone (perpetrator) who works in like the same ideological circle you do - like progressive spaces - it’s the perfect* place for perpetrators or borderline misogynists to live. They are hid there perfectly - cause, we don’t want to ruin our progress. #thursdayvibes

People won’t know how to respond if they aren’t trauma informed. I’ve been through traumatic stuff - ppl that love you don’t know how to show up often, and that’s actually okay.

Trauma is complicated. #trauma

Unfortunately the majority of our friends aren’t trauma informed. Which, again - contraindicates capitalism, patriarchy, racism, etc.

Shout out to my trauma informed therapists. traumainformedcare.chcs.org/what-is-trauma…

In my recent experience I had two friends just say ‘I can’t be there for you with this’ & 1 just ended our friendship. whether it’s to protect their uncomfortable feelings, or maybe their own trauma - this will happen.

We should-prepare trauma survivors for losing their ppl.

One of those friends had former feelings for my perpetrator so that feels really hard - and I hope she also gets the support she needs.

This is how patriarchy is designed to work y’all. To isolate the harmed person and practice patriarchy around that person.

I like this list, real simple, and basic but something I have messed up on when addressing my loved one who experienced trauma - and something I’ve watched my loved ones fumble with when trying to be supportive: washington.edu/sexualassault/…

A lot of these lists are gendered :/

Either way. Being trauma informed is something we should all be doing in all the space we’re are in.

I am honestly really impressed by how @TeenVogue has approached the conversation and I wish I had these resources as a teen, it would of changed my life. teenvogue.com/story/is-drunk…

Here’s another take they did, very good stuff around what it means to blame victims.

I’ve experienced a type of victim blame from almost all the ppl I’ve told this to so far, another unfortunate reason it’s probably now a twitter 🧵 teenvogue.com/tag/not-your-f…

One of my dearest friends blamed me for having “different values” then her (by hanging w/said perpetrator), it was victim blamy and judge mental and she was offended when I laid the boundary of ‘hey I’m sorry I can’t go to you for this actually’

teenvogue.com/gallery/sexual…

And that’s the thing folks, lots of us are traumatized, so - when you’re friends just don’t show up or maybe even show up in harmful ways - I’m asking that we actually recognize that as their trauma too.

And that’s to not know how to show up - you aren’t a bad friend. #trauma

It just means you probably aren’t someone a friend will go to when something traumatic happens again.

And I get - life, our friends have busy lives, they are also working single parents barely hanging on to their #Mentalhealth

That’s why we all really need treatment, so we need to push hard for #Mentalhealth being #PrimaryHealthCare - we’re all a little too traumatized to deal