Thread by @BednarCryptoGRL

Sometimes things happen. Darkness is around every corner.

I don’t usually open up on twitter - ever.

My grandma isn’t doing well. Declining really. Mentally. Physically. For the past three years…slowly watching your favorite person in the world slowly disappear…

Sometimes I just need to vent and get all this emotion out - so I can finally breathe again.

Depression is a demon that is constantly fighting for your attention. The markets usually help because I love puzzles. It’s the only thing that keeps my attention.

My baby sister. Only 32 passed away.

Wanna talk about being invisible. Try constantly doing everything you can to stand out, pushing yourself so hard to grow as an investor, and to be able to not worry about being the fucking best to not matter.

My mom is crushed. I see it everyday. I see the sadness. I see the pain. I see the hurt.

It’s so suffocating being happy all the time. It’s exhausting being perfect. It’s so tedious to walk through the door after you finish your second job with a smile knowing what’s inside…

Your mom, who is living in memories of the daughter she lost, and ignores the one that is right here helping being the caretaker for her mom, my grandma, and I do it with a smile because I have to be the sun.

I have to be this bright star that is able to handle everything. And that’s not the end either, and I hope that you keep reading because I love this community so so much.

On top of all that, I cohabitate with my uncle as well who isn’t doing well either. Severe alcoholic.

With liver failure…who I share a room with. Four adults sharing a two bedroom apartment.

I come here to work hard even more. To learn as much as I can, so I can be able to pay my mom back for covering my sisters funeral. Friday May 13th was her last day here and she wasn’t found for 12 hours after her accidental overdose that was laced with Fentanyl.

After my sisters death, something changed and I knew that I had to step it up even more, so I started a twitter and began networking and listening to individuals smarter than me, and I hope that I’m never the smartest one in the room.

So, no, I don’t remember. I don’t recall. I don’t even care. This is a distraction for me that is saving my life and it’s becoming an even greater lifeline for not only myself, but to help afford upcoming medical costs that I don’t even want to think about.

The cost of a funeral. It’s so outrageous the costs. Fearing for if my grandma will remember me the next time I help her get into the shower and washer her back. Hardly able to walk or stand on her own. Failing memory.

It scares the fucking shit out of me, so no, I have no idea

How much I’ve made…I don’t even see the money. It goes into a trust for my brothers four kids. Towards an outrageous funeral costs that took three credit cards maxed out to fund. Specialized at home nurses and physical therapists to give my grandma every chance to have more time

I’m not ready to lose her. I don’t think I’ll be able to handle it.
This is the only thing that is honestly saving my life and helping me provided for my entire family.

Don’t even get me started on my dead beat father, who left us, when I was two and my sister barely 13 months old. Even though he had been a stranger for my entire life, my dad, isn’t doing good and has had several life threatening issues over the past years.

Ironically, the first time that I talked to him, was the very day that we were placing my baby sister in a baby blue coffin engraved with doctor pepper and dolphins into the ground. And me being me, I’m helping pay for his outlandish medical bills too.

So, again, no…I don’t remember. I don’t see a god damn dime. And I wont apologize for being the best that I can to provide for my family.

Gossip is a toxin. I hate rumors. I hate liars. If talk to you again, great. If not, then, I’m going to keep pushing forward because it’s the only thing that I can do. #depressed #sad #ripsister #originstory #whereicamefrom #mydailylife