Notice even tiny moments when there's no panic attack, and stress is a tiny bit lower. Simply remind yourself in the slightly better moments that it is slightly better.
As opposed to just waiting for it to be bad again, or discounting that it is slightly better because it's worse a lot of the time.
2/4
Whatever we focus our attention on, our attention will focus on that more. So, if you're focusing just on how bad it is, you'll be reinforcing how bad it is. But if you focus on the fact that this moment is slightly better, there's a feeling of 'it can get slightly better.'
3/4
And each slightly better gets slightly better than the last. It'll be a slow improvement, but it's better than a downward spiral (of any speed).
4/4
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Recognize that things are going to have to change eventually. You may not be able to quit your kids or your family or even this job, but something is going to have to change.
You can't heal in the environment that made you sick.
1. You can make a lot of gains for free, with little or no extra time, by picking apart and dissolving the untrue thoughts that are causing you pain.
You can do this even when the kids and loud and you're cleaning up peach juice flung against the wall, or your boss is raging.
When I got my #autism dx (at 35) and started trying to figure this stuff out, I scoured the Internet, researched standard “treatment” options, and searched high and low for anything that would help.
I was quickly frustrated that most autism services were only available to kids, but later learned that most of those were crap anyway. So, blessing in disguise.
That forced me to look for unorthodox solutions. To find my own way. And confront a lot of my assumptions, internalized ableism, and prejudice against using my emotions or body signals as any sort of useful information.
I've recovered from two severe, years-long burnouts, and several weeks-to-months-long ones. I've also been burnout free since 2015!
Over the last few years, I've been helping others create their own versions of this journey.
Everyone is unique, and every recovery journey is unique. Nevertheless, there are some pretty consistent patterns, and my pattern-loving brain has synthesized my own take on what it takes to get out of burnout, and stay out.
🧵 What your senses experience is real. What you feel is what you feel. If you're cold when others are hot, or overwhelmed by noise when others are not, you really are cold, or overwhelmed, etc.
Acknowledging sensory experiences is the beginning of acceptance.
Instead of responding like, "You're cold? It's not cold in here. It's hot. Stop complaining. Get over it."
Try responding like, "You're cold? That's interesting, as I'm hot. Would you like a sweater or blanket?"
Many of us autistics grew up with people around us ignoring, dismissing, or punishing our sensory experiences. As adults, even a little validation can feel like a huge relief.
Also, all comparisons (more, increased, longer, etc) are using YOUR personal best functional time in life as a baseline. This is not a comparison to others, this is a comparison to you alone.
When I notice I'm dissociating out of habit or boredom, and don't want to, I find it helps to feel sensations in my physical body as a way to stay in the present moment. Stimming or moving helps that, or deep breathing.
This sensations could be anything. Heat or cold, the movement of a finger, discomfort, the feel of clothes against my skin, the sensation of my lungs expanding. Anything, so long as I don't judge it as good or bad, just notice. It's about staying in the moment, nothing else.
A few minutes of this noticing, and I find I'm not dissociating and am more amenable to doing something useful. It still takes a bit of effort to switch tracks, but it's now possible.