Dr. Devashish Palkar Profile picture
Apr 26 12 tweets 2 min read Twitter logo Read on Twitter
"Oh, our attachment styles are different!"
You might have heard some people say this!
Some know it's importance but many people use it casually to display their rich vocabulary. But let's understand from the point of view of psychology!
A 🧵 on #AttachmentStyles
Attachment styles are patterns of behavior that we develop in childhood to cope with our need for security and love. These patterns can shape how we approach adult relationships later in life.
There are four main styles of attachment: secure, anxious-preoccupied, dismissive-avoidant, and fearful-avoidant.
Let's simplify.
Secure attachment: Individuals with a secure attachment style feel comfortable with emotional intimacy and are able to trust and depend on their partner. They have a positive view of themselves and others and are generally confident and self-assured in their relationships.
Anxious-preoccupied attachment: Individuals with this attachment style often feel insecure in their relationships and may seek constant reassurance from their partner. They may be overly clingy or demanding & may struggle with feelings of jealousy & possessiveness.
Dismissive-avoidant attachment: Individuals with this attachment style tend to prioritize independence and self-sufficiency over emotional intimacy. They may appear emotionally distant and detached from their partner & may struggle with expressing their feelings.
Fearful-avoidant attachment: Individuals with this style may experience conflicting feelings of both a desire for intimacy & a fear of vulnerability. They may struggle with trust, often feeling trapped between their desire for closeness and their fear of getting hurt.
Attachment styles developed during childhood can have a profound impact on adult relationships. They shape our perceptions of trust, intimacy, and vulnerability and influence how we interact with romantic partners.
Understanding your own attachment style and that of your partner can help you navigate the ups and downs of a relationship. By recognizing your patterns and tendencies, you can work towards building a healthy and fulfilling partnership.
It's important to note that attachment styles are not fixed and can change over time with new experiences and personal growth.
Therapy can help you develop awareness about unheplful attachment styles & provide tools to change to a more secure pattern.
Hi, I am Dr. Devashish Palkar.
I am a Psychiatrist, Psychotherapist & an online content creator on a mission to help people understand & manage their mental health so that they can live a more fulfilling life. Mental health is my 'ikigai'- passion meets profession.
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More from @psychidiaries

Jan 22
A personal story of my everyday life as #Psychiatrist in India.
This might help anyone who is new to the field or thinking of entering the uncharted waters of #mentalhealthprofession
Read on.
#MedTwitter #psychtwitter
Every day, you will be reminded of the stigma by your own colleagues from other fraternities & society at large, most of whom are oblivious to the importance of mental health themselves.
Wait, but that's not why I am writing this.
4-5 years back, when I entered this field, and if I was treated this way, I would have revolted and taken the organizers of the camp to the cleaners and fumingly left the place.
But not now.
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Jan 18
Very often, I come across people who are not able to do well in #competitiveexams and end up thinking,
Let's talk about that in this thread
When you have put a lot of efforts and sacrifice behind something you almost start 'expecting' the results 'should' come! This works quite well in theory exams of your school or college where your efforts translate into your marks!
The thing that separates normal exam from competitive exam is that even though you might have done your best someone else might have done slightly better and your ranking will suffer.
Here the eventual result is a rank which is not directly a reflection of your efforts alone! 3/n
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Jan 15
#QALA - From the eyes of a Psychiatrist.
P.S. Spoilers ahead.
Read on for some themes I could find.
A 🧵
#MedTwitter #moviereview
#psychtwitter #mentalhealth
1. The concept of unwanted child

QALA's twin brother dies in utero, which is a big shock to her mother Urmila Manjushri, who blames Qala for taking away all the nutrition from her brother in utero & even tries to smother her. Qala becomes an unwanted child in the process.
2. Critical parenting

Though her mother tries to teach Qala the art of music, she is never satisfied and goes to on to punish her by keeping her out of the house in the chilling snow as Qala is not able to perform to her satisfaction.
Read 14 tweets
Jan 13
"You're so skinny!"
"You're so fat!"
We have all either said that/heard that.
But here's why I believe that commenting upon someone's physical attributes in a social setting is not a good idea..
A 🧵
✔️ There could be various uncontrollable reasons behind person's weight issues- we have a tendency to assume that it is just because of overeating/poor lifestyle/lack of exercise. So when we make such a comment, it could be really triggering for many people.
✔️ We all perceive such comments differently. A person may take a comment about his increased weight as a challenge for himself while for another person it could be a blow to their self-esteem.
Read 8 tweets
Jan 8
A 🧵 on #NewYearResolutions and 10 rules on how to follow through on it.
Purposely writing this on day 8 of the new year so that only those genuinely wanting to work on themselves will read it.
I am only mentioning things that have helped me personally!
Read on. 👇🏼
Research about New Year Resolutions suggests that 23% of people quit/drop out in 1st week.
Only 36% people make it till 2nd month.
Only 8% are able to successfully keep up their resolutions!
So, should you really be keeping the New Year Resolutions despite knowing that the chances are as low as 8%?
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Even if the chances of success are 1%, it's better than never trying!
Read 18 tweets
Dec 27, 2022
A 60 year old lady was brought by her daughter to my OPD a couple of months ago.
In the field of psychiatry, how a person enters, gives us a clue about the clinical condition.
When a patient walks in himself v/s when a patient is 'brought by' someone makes a difference.
Generally, though not a rule:
> a patient coming himself, means he has some understanding of what is happening to him
> & when a patient is forced/coaxed by the relatives to visit a Psychiatrist, it would mean that the patient is either in denial or not in touch with reality.
So this lady and her daughter walked in, and I started to take the history.
The old lady didn't utter a word but kept crying. She clearly looked disturbed.
When I asked the daughter, she reported to me that her mother had been having some issues for the last couple of months.
Read 20 tweets

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