Thread by @book_working

Hello everyone
I am a retired Hollywood extra
writing a book of anecdotes
about my life
it is mostly intended
for young people
Here goes

if anyone
ever tells you being the 9th
of 11 children is easy,
don't believe them
Mom used to call me Bryan
but my name is Tyrone

every night,
God bless...
Kathleen
Thomas
Christopher
Geoffrey
Bryan
Christina
Jonathan
William
Tyrone
Isabel
John
and Mom and Dad

so I can't blame mom
for getting us mixed up
Bryan told me
Mom always called him Tyrone
I once told Mom
I didn't like my clothes for school

She told me
don't worry
nobody is looking at you
she did have a point,
especially at home
I had to develop so many
strategies to get noticed

Mom married a diplomat
she had her first two children
in Malaya (sia)
the next four in London
and the last five in Munich

and then my father died
leaving my mother
a new jersey girl
widowed
with 10 children
in Germany
She chose not to return to America

the American Embassy in Munich
hired her
as a secretary
out of pity
but within four years
she remarried
she wanted
American
Irish
Catholic

Once Mom sent my brother Bill
off to walk to Kindergarten
two hours later
he returned home
said he couldn't find it

but I will show you their wedding photo
Bedlam
My Stepfather in a tux
Mom in pink wedding dress
and pink pill box hat
surrounded by 10 kids

in Munich
their favorite entertainment
was the Oktoberfest
Mommy, why are there so many people
sleeping on the grass?
They are very tired

in 1965 Mom bore my stepfather
an eleventh child
he had adopted
all ten of us
so he already had a son
named Jon
but he wanted his new son

to be named after him
so now I have
one brother
named Jon
and one
named John

i'm skipping forward but
only worked on Will&grace
as an extra
four times
but each time I got booked
knew it would be fun
played a bartender

sitting at my bar
was Blythe Danner
we chatted about
Adain Quinn in Streetcar
and Richard Chamberlin in Blithe Spirit
I saw them both and

was shocked by her candor
but I love her
so I won't reveal what she told me
a lot of people I met
in Hollywood
had stories to tell

imagine my surprise
when the next day
I got booked on Bounce
with her daughter
I played somebody named Josh
I begged for a screen credit

and got it
Thank you Don Roos!
Gweneth never appeared from her camper
but Ben Affleck plopped his lunchtray down
right in front of me

it is extremely rare
for a star to eat lunch
with his crew
I was tounge tied
but he never blinked an eye
I voted for him in
Argo
and he won

but I am totally
getting ahead of myself
where did I leave off?
oh yes
when I was 12
my stepfather got a promotion
so we had to move
from

Munich to Athens
we drove in two cars
in Italy
we took the ferry
from Brindisi to Pireaus
stayed in a hotel for three months
fond memories

we finally found a house
with 8 bedrooms in Greece
my brother Bill and I
shared the maids' quarters
My best friend Amber and I
shared a bed

(Amber was my
Yellow Labrador retriever)
and we joined the Ekali Club
it had a pool
tennis courts
and a restaurant
heaven

for some reason
(word got out?)
a lot of dogs gathered
in the back yard
a great dane even
joined my pack
8 strong before it abruptly
ended

Me and my pack
would head up the
"mountain "
a pile of rocks
dappled with shrubs, oregano
goats and turtles
the goat herder smiled a lot

I once pushed my brother Bill off a wall
for fun, when I was 13
he broke his arm
that hurt

in 7th grade
I came home from school
Mom had called the ASPCA
Had all my strays removed
from the property!
How dare she

Okay so
skipping ahead
I got my one
and only fan letter
from the guy who bought
My Romulan costume
from the Da Vinci episode
of Voyager

Capt Janeway
was spectacular
one of the loveliest actors
I have ever met
but the set was filled with suspicion
people stealing props

I wrote back to him
apparently wardrobe
had misspelled my last name
but being a Trekkie
he tracked me down anyway
so I sent him a headshot

but in ninth grade
I got my first job ever
it was an index card
tacked to the bulletin board
at the American Club
looking for Kennel help

I made that call

can I tell you the biggest difference
in my experience
between Glenn Close
and Meryl Streep?

in Air Force One
I was honored to watch
Harrison Ford deliver
his voice overs
but Ms Close
totally ignored me
Eventhough
I was between

in She Devil
Ms Streep totally used me
which I loved
her character totally endowed me
with characteristics
which I did not possess
I juiced