KC ♿️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈 Profile picture
Aug 27, 2023 6 tweets 2 min read
🧵 TW: suicide, assisted suicide, #MAiD

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One of the biggest reasons I have considered dying as answer to my chronic pain, mental illness and increasing disability is *only* bc Canada has assisted suicide laws. The only “treatment” our “universal” healthcare will provide me. For 2nd time in a yr I’m abt to spend considerable time in inpatient psychiatric care, again, largely bc Canada has MAiD laws. Offering “comfortable supported peaceful” #AssistedSuicide to ppl w/ mental illness or disabled folks going thru a season of depression Is Not Compassion
Jan 28, 2023 12 tweets 3 min read
I as excited as a kid on Christmas waiting for Santa! Why? I’m getting a new bed delivered. Before it comes and I’m able to post pics, I want to tell you about why this is a major accomplishment for me. Bc in the choosing & ordering, I had to fight thru a lot of #PovertyTrauma 🧵 I live in legislated disability #poverty. I have been sleeping on an old couch for about 5yrs. I haven’t had the privacy or mental / health benefits of my own room. I have chronic pain. #ODSPoverty has meant I couldn’t replace the ancient bed that was more painful than the couch.
Jan 3, 2023 13 tweets 4 min read
#HappyNewYear to all my crip friends w special shoutout of Gratitude to @mssinenomine, @Arley_McNeney & @mich_mcq

I’ve been in hospital near 2 months & 2+ hrs from home. But G’s @cripcare1 Holiday Edition has made sure I’m brimming with crip love & care🧵 cripcare.com/crip-care 1st came cookies for each patient on my ward. Everyone was in Grateful disbelief how & why some unknown persons would bring them Craig’s famous 🍪 I felt same of @mich_mcq & Lucy who brought these to me, a stranger, along w my 1st real coffee in a long time Cokes too! TY Michelle A red, green and white diagonal striped box that say “Craig’s Cookies” in black.
Aug 28, 2022 8 tweets 4 min read
THIS @mssinenomine and OP @Methadone_Cat 🧵 on #ChronicPain + #MAiD

My roomie will tell you unrelenting severe pain has snuffed the light & life out of my eyes. The person I love most misses me bc I have almost no capacity to talk to her for the few mins I force myself to now 🧵 TW: assisted suicide

I know I’ve been writing abt my deadly dance w MAiD for awhile. I often feel lk I’m crying wolf. Gawd i want that to b the case. But in Apr @DisabilityFili1 when saying for 1st time out loud I didn’t think I’d b alive next yr, I was already barely hanging on
Aug 27, 2022 5 tweets 1 min read
I’ve been saying this for awhile. Saying this to my therapist. But it’s not *just* relevant for when #MAiD becomes available for sole mental illness. Because Bill C7 isn’t medical assistance in dying. It #AssistedSuicide for disabled people who are not dying. What message… What message do you think state and culturally sanctioned, medically assisted suicide sends to disabled folks before we even talk about poverty or lack of supports? Do we honestly not think someone who wants to prematurely end their life doesn’t incl some lvl of depression? And…
Aug 14, 2022 8 tweets 4 min read
🧵TW: Suicide #MAiD

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Not just suicide prevention crisis lines. When my therapist asks “do I have a plan?” How fcked up is it that the biggest part of my answer is now that the canadian govt has a plan for me. She then has to take a somewhat neutral position. Why? I’m disabled. OTD that MAiD is trending & ppl are so outraged abt what #DisablePeopleToldYou was gonna happen. I don’t have more words for how much assisted suicide laws messed w me or what it’s like to have mental health professionals try to help but ultimately must say — It’s your “choice”
Aug 8, 2022 7 tweets 3 min read
🧵TW: #MAID, Suicide

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It often hits me like thunderbolt or a punch to the throat when I’ve called suicide prevention lines or my therapist again questions whether she needs to invoke the Mental Health Act, call the cops & have me admitted to the psych ward against my will… That none of these ppl have the right or moral authority in a country w #AssistedSuicide to prevent me from unaliving myself. I’m totally against the use of law enforcement in mental health crises. For the most part I’m against involuntary admission too. But it goes beyond that.
Aug 7, 2022 6 tweets 1 min read
@ChristophLyon @VulnerablC7 It would seem from the DWD website that they work in tandem. As I’ve been struggling myself this year with a somewhat similar situation as Maggie. Almost every single mental health professional I have dealt with has directed me to the Dying With Dignity website. @ChristophLyon @VulnerablC7 This has been mental health / suicide crisis lines. It’s been govt funded mental health services for One Step, single sessions. I can’t afford my own therapist but found someone w One Step I trust and continue to request. But had to tell her STOP with suggesting DWD as a resource
Jul 6, 2022 13 tweets 4 min read
TW: #MAiD Suicide Ableism

More about yesterday’s thread: Through tears and anger I’ve spent 3 week frozen for hours everyday trying and failing to write back a “friend” to explain why the mere suggestion that my suicide, assisted or otherwise, is acceptable bc I’m disabled is… Dehumanizing and coercive in and of itself. It’s been incredibly painful and I’m personally really struggling. But I want to make a broader point. This pro-MAiD advocate isn’t just a “friend” who I’ve trusted with my heart and what’s going on my health before I knew this abt her.
Jul 4, 2022 10 tweets 4 min read
🧵 TW: Suicide #MAiD

I can’t tell if my grief is going to drown me with the 10 ft waves that keep washing over me with the #SuicideDue2Pain of my friend who deserved pain meds and every resource needed to cope but was denied by every govt system she sought help from for months. Or if grief will swallow me whole & suck me into this pit of quicksand as I struggle to explain to a “friend” why I can no longer be friends w/ someone whose defence of assisted suicide is to tell me, a person in a similar sit as my friend, that I can always end my own life…
Jun 8, 2022 6 tweets 2 min read
🧵 Heather Walkus on the #MAiD myth of choice for disabled people @DisabilityFili1:

“Not only are we dealing the (ableist) attitude, thoughts about us and barriers. There is time. We don’t even have time to be advocating for ourselves bc we are so busy… “Trying to fend off the amt of ppl that get up in our lives in order to get a simple thing like home support. Or just anything. And so, it starts to crush you as a person with a disability. And depending on how much support you may require, like housing that is affordable.”
May 21, 2022 4 tweets 6 min read
🚨 EMERGENCY PLS RT: My dear friend and sister Aasiya @Ecohesian is w/o power needed to live. Without a generator every disabled person who requires power for life sustaining equipment in #ONStorm is at risk. It’s not hyperbole—legislated disability poverty in canada kills. #LNOB Please support #WTESS medical fund for @Ecohesian’s life saving medical treatment *and* life-dependent medical devices

#ClimateJustice = #DisabilityJustice

#ONStorm #ExtremeWeather #ClimateEmergency #DisabilityTwitter #NothingAboutUsWithoutUs #LeaveNoOneBehind #EmergencyReady
May 16, 2022 15 tweets 6 min read
CW: MAiD Suicide Sexual/Child Abuse

C7 #MAiD drops suicide ideation in minds of disabled ppl who may not have thought abt dying otherwise. Increases suicidality for ppl w mental illness already depressed, suicidal. Why do ableds get suicide prevention but not us? My continuum🧵 C7 #MAiD was passed, and like for every disabled person, I now knew my suicide is acceptable, state sanctioned, welcomed, encouraged. (I don’t care what govt or any “expert” says, that’s the msg.) Then 2 months later my physical pain begins to become more intolerable. Depression.
Apr 25, 2022 6 tweets 2 min read
🧵 CW: MAiD, suicide

I am so angry right now as parliament gets set to discuss expanding C7 #MAiD to ppl with mental illness disabilities in a few mins. A friends son with mental illness incl severe depression watched me @DisabilityFili1 yesterday. He just wrote me to tell me… He wants MAiD too. He hasn’t had counselling yet. Can’t find any with the wait lists so long. He even has money to pay which is so often not the case. But let’s suppose this is 2023 and he goes to his doctor or a therapist. What are they going to tell him?
Apr 23, 2022 4 tweets 2 min read
🧵 CW: MAiD, violent imagery

#MAiD is only merciful if you are *only* willing to put me out of my misery, not relieve it.

Not support me through it.

Not remedy the remediable. I don’t need my disabilities to disappear. I don’t expect my chronic pain or illness to be cured. But when every doctor, system, level of government REFUSES to give the remedies that are only within their power to give. It’s like knife woundS that never stop bleeding.
Apr 22, 2022 4 tweets 2 min read
When I think abt how hard disabled people are fighting to rollback—not expand #MAiD. Knowing Canada lawmakers don’t even wanna hear from the ppl whose euthanasia they make possible but nothing more. I’m not optimistic. Which is why #DisabilityFilibuster is built on a deeper hope. Hope in this deep and powerful sense, is not the same as joy I’ll admit I’m not rich in hope either. Not when my govt’s only assistance is in dying. Not when doctors, the healthcare system and policy make me sicker, cause unnecessary pain, disability and trauma. Which is why I thought of this Václav Havel quote from “Disturbing the Peace.”
Apr 22, 2022 5 tweets 5 min read
@CanadaPain @aander1987 @CTVW5 I wish I could articulate the differences with #SuicideDue2Pain. For the better part of 30 yrs I’ve struggled with suicidality. For 8 yrs I did not. For the last 2 of untreated pain there’s been times where physical pain + emotional and psych pain could’ve led to suicide. BUT… @CanadaPain @aander1987 @CTVW5 Even as I wait for possible MAiD. With my pain so bad, so acute. I need relief in the same way humans need air. #SuicideDue2Pain has become almost involuntary. I have to believe that for some CPP in some instances. It’s almost a reflex like breathing and swallowing.
Apr 21, 2022 4 tweets 2 min read
SO WHAT if my pain is amplified by my psych, childhood trauma, or brain? Last time I checked my brain is part of my body, my abuse wasn’t my fault, and depression, anxiety is CAUSED by #ChronicPain not the other way around. If #opioids will stop me from using #MAiD, sUicIDe and… More physical and mental health problems and disability isn’t that the role of medicine and Medicine? Is there supposed to be a risk VS reward calculation in Medicine? We use c19 vaxx bc risk for severe side effects is tiny but the benefits are life saving. My risk of OD = <1%…
Apr 19, 2022 7 tweets 2 min read
🧵Medical ableism, med PTSD

12hrs ago I decided I’d go to the ER. I can no longer tolerate this much acute pain that’s been much worse for 4days. I fell down stairs Sat bc of leg weakness, hip instability. I stumbled, nearly fell while standing in place today for the same reason I did not go to the ER. Not bc I have no cause. Not bc my pain is insignificant. Much less pain has taken me before. I have developed a new symptom in a constellation of them that my dr continues to ignore and dismiss. My mind races w worry about what’s happening and what’s next.
Apr 18, 2022 4 tweets 1 min read
My dear friend, roomie and author Gilaine E. Mitchell wrote me this for Easter. Not really an Easter poem but it means a lot that she spent a wk writing this. She doesn’t understand everything I’m going thru and is struggling w me considering MAiD. But she sees, knows, loves me. Alt Text:

Ditto

I can tell you what she’s like
But it wouldn’t be right
The hands on her clock are
Between numbers, always
There is no exact moment
When she is the same.
Apr 17, 2022 9 tweets 4 min read
@mssinenomine Was reminded today of my competitive swimming days when coach would make us tread water for a very long time. Then as extra “punishment” and competition would have us tread with these 10 lbs bricks. They were heavy and awkward enough that you’d have to hang on with both hands. @mssinenomine Hands free treading is tough enough to keep your head above water, esp when you’re tired and your leg muscles are screaming. Load me down w weight, it ain’t long before I’m sucking more water than air, trying to keep my barely above water face, positioned just right to get oxygen