The level trauma of being a neurodivergent person raised in an ableist world is absolutely underestimated. Many of the clients I encounter have levels of trauma that could qualify them for a diagnosis of PTSD.
We need to reframe this completely. /1
Part of the problem is that the way adults respond to symptoms of #ADHD (and other neurodivergence) in kids they are in charge of is perceived by NT people as “appropriate,” while being experienced in the mind and body of the kid with #ADHD as physical or emotional abuse. /2
Jun 12 • 26 tweets • 6 min read
People keep asking “if we aren’t supposed to say “you have so much potential” what ARE we supposed to say? Before I go off on this bit, please know I recognize this question is coming often from parents who REALLY want to learn how to do right by their kid, and I respect that BUT
if you are asking this question, you have probably missed the WHOLE point.
You are basically asking me something like: “if I can’t help motivate my child with THAT phrase, what phrase can I use to get them to improve” and what I need you to understand is that you NEED to stop
Jun 8 • 67 tweets • 16 min read
A message I want to share with adults who work with #ADHD kids is: pushing them the way that you push neurotypical kids harms them for life.
Here’s what I mean.
When I start working clinically with an adult who has ADHD, one of the first things we do /1
is we start to map out their trauma history. And I don’t mean non-adjacent childhood traumas (which are also relevant, but we get to those later) I mean their #ADHD-specific, childhood-based traumas that result from having ADHD while growing up in an ableist society. /2
May 16 • 4 tweets • 1 min read
may all the therapists have full offices of willing clients ready to heal this summer
and may all the writers write what is in their hearts
and may their books and poems and stories be published in varied, delicious venues, reaching all they are meant to reach
and may the bus drivers drive in the summer heat with the cold air blasting and may their passengers all find seats to rest, sweaty and happy and still-masked and healthy
and may the musicians book show after show, and share the gifts they honed in the quiet of their bedrooms
Dec 10, 2021 • 26 tweets • 5 min read
My marriage to my husband strikes a deft blow to the patriarchy, and actually lessens the power of the religious leaders who spent over 35 YEARS trying to convince me that the way I love is abominable.
Let me explain how.
Remember how during the “debate” about marriage equality tons of churchy leadership folks spent millions of dollars legislating against and predicting the destruction of society if LGBTQIA folx had the right to marry?
Turns out they were right to be afraid.
For themselves. /2
Oct 21, 2021 • 24 tweets • 4 min read
1/ I grew up being taught that sex between a man and a woman was the only good, pure and “real” sex out there—but my time as a professional helping religious folks with sexual issues showed me why that’s a total crock of crap. Let me tell you why.
2/ It turns out, behind closed doors, that religious-based hetero sex is likely the most selfish, the most demanding, and the most imbalanced sex framework out there. (Of course, as with anything, there are exceptions to this on an individual level. But I am speaking generally.)
Mar 5, 2021 • 21 tweets • 2 min read
(1) I am a gay man who was raised in a heteronormative world. A part of this world I have always been baffled by is "modesty" culture.
(2) The main premise of "modesty" culture is that women need to dress in a way that doesn't provoke sexual response in men. Which is insane.
Dec 27, 2020 • 25 tweets • 5 min read
Happy no-man’s week! If the final days of the holidays have you feeling numb, exhausted, purposeless or triggered (this time can be very triggering of past trauma) take a moment to reflect and listen to your past versions of self. Is there a part of you that needs to be heard?
2/ Is there a child or teen version of you that feels neglected or hurt or has unresolved feelings around holidays of the past? Was being with (or not being with) family particularly hard this year? Or has a recent loss or life event changed what you knew as normal this year?
Nov 4, 2020 • 14 tweets • 3 min read
Trump might not win, but it is so close that I have a few things to say tonight.
In Donald J. Trump, white people are paying the price of our forefather's inhumanity.
Oct 4, 2020 • 6 tweets • 1 min read
Please miss me with the sanctimony about how I “should” feel about Trump’s diagnosis. People’s lives will *literally” be saved because of this development.
2 If I knew him personally and interacted with him human to human, I would meet him with empathy and love as I would any other human.
Jun 5, 2020 • 12 tweets • 2 min read
White people: it is time to let out outrage show against even the smallest micro-aggressions. It’s time to get fucking outraged.
(2)White people are accustomed to deference and respect. Our intentional anger at racism is not violence; it is a weapon in our arsenal to break through white “niceness”.
Apr 12, 2020 • 4 tweets • 3 min read
good day here is my brothers dog scooby falling in actual love with a bearded dragon named carrie fisher
Emerged to grab take-out so I could support local Asian businesses while isolated. Came in hoping to be in and out quickly but had to wait about 20 minutes. Meanwhile, a STEADY STREAM of customers have passed by to be seated. I live in WA state. (2) I am blown away by this. I am 30-45 minutes away from the epicenter for the #coronavirus in the US and people are just walking past me like “table for six!” This is the period of highest social impact and these folks are like “hey I know, let’s eat in public for hours!”
Don’t get it twisted. (Thread.)
I sometimes hear people remark that the recent cultural emphasis on “self-care” is actually just selfishness.
I couldn’t disagree more.
Sep 1, 2019 • 4 tweets • 1 min read
(1) Less access to firearms = fewer deaths by firearms. Not only is this proven to be true, it is also the most painfully obvious fact in the world. Yet somehow people turn themselves into boys convincing themselves otherwise. And for what?
(2) To hold onto beliefs that end up killing innocent people so they never ever have to admit they were *gasp* WRONG???
Yep! Bring on the flurry of mass shootings more heinous than any civilized nation has ever seen! Totally worth never examining your world-view!!
Aug 8, 2019 • 21 tweets • 5 min read
(1) I can no longer refrain from saying how I feel.
If there is any part of you that thinks that the type of trauma this is causing these babies is justifiable for political or ideological reasons, I rebuke you.
(2) At judgment day, if you support this in any way, I will be there to testify against you before god. I’m not kidding.
Mar 27, 2019 • 44 tweets • 10 min read
(1) As a mental health therapist, I've been thinking a lot about loneliness and why it seems to affect so many of us out there, as well as what to do about it.
(2) I've had periods in my own life where, even though I was surrounded by people, I felt completely isolated. Sometimes I would even be sitting in a room with people who knew me and I would feel this deep sense of isolation and "outsiderness." It sucks. And it's common.
Feb 22, 2019 • 4 tweets • 2 min read
PSA: if you troll me I will take you out back to the shed for a verbal ass kicking so severe you’ll wonder how Twitter became the graveyard your dignity died in. I am generally very nice, but I can cut to the bone when I need to. You have been warned.
(As you can see in the case example below, my favorite part is when trolls get so riled up they start spouting unintelligible nonsense, and then I get to point it out! It’s kinda delicious. Oh, and the swearing. I love a great reason to drop some great cuss-combos!)
Dec 29, 2018 • 4 tweets • 2 min read
Okay, let’s settle this debate. What is this cooking device called?
RT for “spatula”
Like for “turner”
About the above poll (which is starting to go viral)—I was at the store and every single “spatula” was called a “turner” and I was like “whaaat??” (see photos below—different brands, different styles, etc).
We all need to settle it once and for all!
Dec 29, 2018 • 8 tweets • 2 min read
Alert: you have been lied to your whole life. What you thought was a spatula is actually called a “turner.”