Discover and read the best of Twitter Threads about #SoulCare
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A quick Wednesday #soulcare question:
What is mine to carry, what is God's to carry and what is theirs to carry?
Differentiation of self is ongoing work and clarifying loads is key.
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What is mine to carry, what is God's to carry and what is theirs to carry?
Differentiation of self is ongoing work and clarifying loads is key.
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Is there a relationship or situation where I over-function or under-function? What can I do to adjust this imbalance in a way that serves both of us?
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Is there a recurring dynamic that keeps triggering me, where I am highly reactive? Do I tend to see the 'other' as the one to blame? What am I doing that is generating this dynamic?
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Lockbox vs storm for #soulcare and #selfcare.
Sometimes a lockbox works, but in these days of social isolation, I think the 'storm' approach is more helpful.
When I first started working in trauma and crisis, a friend of mine taught the power of 'lock boxing'
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Sometimes a lockbox works, but in these days of social isolation, I think the 'storm' approach is more helpful.
When I first started working in trauma and crisis, a friend of mine taught the power of 'lock boxing'
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When you serve in a trauma environment, you're affected by what you experience, even through it isn't happening to you. Sort of a second hand trauma. Lock boxing was a simple way to 'put it away' at the end of a shift so I could go home and not carry it with me.
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Sometimes I still do this. Back in the 'old days' when we gathered in a building, people would come and share pain and loss, ask for prayer. Before heading out, I would sit in a quiet place, pray for each person who had come to me, give it to God, go home.
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1/ Care givers need intentional rituals to either 'lock up' our work or to let it 'pass through us.' Depending on the nature of the day, either can be helpful...
2/ Locking up is for the end of the day to keep you from bringing home what isn't yours to carry.
It is intentional prayer of clarity on, 'what is mine to carry what is theirs, what is God's?' Talk to God, hand it over and go home....
It is intentional prayer of clarity on, 'what is mine to carry what is theirs, what is God's?' Talk to God, hand it over and go home....
3/ But sometimes the weight is too much to lock up. We are human and we are affected by the lives of people we work with and sometimes we can get anxious with all we are exposed to or dealing with, that is where 'passing through' can help...
I have been studying the nature of criticism lately as criticism is a frequent source of anxiety for a leader....
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I think what I offer that is hopefully helpful and freeing for people, is I take a large sweeping concept and try to break it down into identifiable and manageable parts. So I have defined several aspects of 'anxiety' for example, so we can name the source and be free....
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Criticism is like that -a broad sweeping word that covers a lot of territory.
3 particularly insidious forms of criticism are: cumulative criticism, second hand criticism, 'same meeting, different experience' criticism.
I will attempt to clarify each in this thread.
3 particularly insidious forms of criticism are: cumulative criticism, second hand criticism, 'same meeting, different experience' criticism.
I will attempt to clarify each in this thread.
1/ Care givers need intentional rituals to either 'lock up' our work or to let it 'pass through us.' Depending on the nature of the day, either can be helpful...
2/ Locking up is for the end of the day to keep you from bringing home what isn't yours to carry.
It is intentional prayer of clarity on, 'what is mine to carry what is theirs, what is God's?' Talk to God, hand it over and go home....
It is intentional prayer of clarity on, 'what is mine to carry what is theirs, what is God's?' Talk to God, hand it over and go home....
3/ But sometimes the weight is too much to lock up. We are human and we are affected by the lives of people we work with and sometimes we can get anxious with all we are exposed to or dealing with, that is where 'passing through' can help...
Monday #soulcare: a childhood vow is a conscious or unconscious agreement you make with yourself as a child about how the world MUST be in order for you to be ok. We typically make these vows to avoid pain or seek pleasure. They come out of a wound or a lack in our childhood...
...they serve us well when we are kids, but they restrict us as adults. Like clothes we grow out of, if we don't shed them, they become constricting. When under pressure, or tired or feeling attacked, you revert to your childhood vow and live by it rather than by faith....
...you can uncover a vow by listening to your self talk and listening for superlatives or absolutes or 'singular truths that you make into a universal truth.' Naming and repenting of a vow can be massively freeing and can take time and work...
1/ A thread on how Family Systems Theory (FST) was founded and why it is so useful for leaders....
2/ Murray Bowen founded it, so it is also known as Bowen Theory. He got it started in 1954 and up until him, all psychology was focused on what is inside someone but Bowen started to pay attention to what is happening between people. This was a significant shift in POV
3/ Bowen was working in a psych ward, watching adult paranoid schizophrenics meeting their mothers for Sunday afternoon family visitation. Mom is a bit apprehensive as she walks toward her adult sons, so she reaches out for a tentative hug...
