Thread by @stevecusswords

1/ A thread on how Family Systems Theory (FST) was founded and why it is so useful for leaders....

2/ Murray Bowen founded it, so it is also known as Bowen Theory. He got it started in 1954 and up until him, all psychology was focused on what is inside someone but Bowen started to pay attention to what is happening between people. This was a significant shift in POV

3/ Bowen was working in a psych ward, watching adult paranoid schizophrenics meeting their mothers for Sunday afternoon family visitation. Mom is a bit apprehensive as she walks toward her adult sons, so she reaches out for a tentative hug...

4/ but as she does, she is smiling and saying, ’so good to see you.’ The son is confused by the mixed message of the tentative body language and the words of welcome and so he responds with a tentative hug of his own. Mom then says, ‘Aren’t you glad to see me?’

5/ Bowen has a lightbulb moment - schizophrenia isn’t simply what is inside someone, it is also generated by the relational patterns between people. And thus systems theory was born. In the case above, Mom sent son a ‘mixed message’ and put him in a ‘double bind’ causing anxiety.

6/ FST deals with ‘chronic’ anxiety rather than ‘acute’ anxiety.

Acute: actual threat, immediate physiological response. Threat is short term.

7/ A few days ago I was out jogging my dog, I tried to cross a small stream with her and she wouldn’t budge. I look back and see her staring down a snake. I had jogged right over the snake and never noticed. My heart raced. I thought it was a rattler. Just a bull snake. All good.

8/ I stopped with my dog and started talking to her, ‘its alright, its just a bull snake.’ I took some breaths. Of course, I was externalizing to my dog to calm myself down. That’s acute anxiety. Real threat, short term. Able to calm yourself afterward.

9/ Chronic anxiety is: perceived threat, physiological constant response, threat is constant, not short term. So, for example, I always believe I need to have an answer, so if an elder asks me a question in an elder meeting and I don’t have the answer at the ready, I get anxious.

10/ I also believe I need to be liked all the time etc. That is chronic anxiety.

Chronic anxiety is what happens after we don’t get what we think we need. I don’t actually need to be liked, but I think I do, so if I disappoint someone chronic anxiety shows up.

11/ Here is the kicker: The body doesn’t know the difference between acute and chronic anxiety. It can be trained, and we can learn tools, but left alone, we carry WAY TOO MUCH chronic anxiety. It is deadly, especially when we're unaware of it.

12/ Leaders constantly carry a level of anxiety we’re not aware of. So burnout and breakdowns have more to do with unaddressed chronic anxiety than workload etc. Chronic anxiety is the lynchpin to soul care for a leader.

13/ Lots of incredible writers and thinkers to explore in this field: @Jimherrington, @trishaltaylor, Robert Creech who is tragically twitter free and farming right now. Also Roberta Gilbert and of course Ed Friedman and @thebowencenter.

14/ My work and my book takes FST and a spin off theory called Cybernetics and brings them into a spiritual growth and leadership health focus. My unique contributions appear to be:

15/

- a theology of anxiety - how it works and how it props up the false self and how to flip anxiety from a liability to an asset so we can experience profound grace and freedom.

16/ I diagnose the 18 sources of anxiety that are universal to us all. Ie, if you’re in one of these 18 situations, the problem isn’t you, it is that you’re simply in a situation that generates significant anxiety

- I help people identify the triggers that are unique to them.

17/ I bring cybernetic change theory into leadership so a leader can bring 'second order change' to chronic, stuck patterns in their team....

18/ and I equip people to use deeper tools like genograms and verbatims, tools I was taught as a trauma chaplain in #CPE and help everyday people access them.

19/ I'm passionate about this work as I've seen countless people find freedom from long term plaguing issues and ongoing chronic anxiety.

20/ (and final!) I've been seeing what @BethMooreLPM, @drmoore, @jdgreear and others in #SBC19 have been facing and see how these tools can truly help. If you know someone this thread can help, feel free to tag them in comments.

#SystemsTheory, #Soulcare