One thing I dislike about the reaction to my "Laziness" essay is that people want to believe that all barriers can be overcome, and that simply empathizing with the person struggling will eventually make them *not* struggle so much...and that's not the full story.
And it's the fault of my writing that people are focusing on this aspect of the phenomenon. I talked a big game about how acknowledging barriers can help us get over them, or find workarounds for them. It's true. But also...sometimes things don't get better.
I don't want teachers, family members, friends, etc to empathize with a person's struggle *because that will fix the struggle magically*. I want them to empathize no matter what, even if the person never gets "better", and I want us all to love people who are "unproductive".
Like, yes, teachers being more compassionate about student needs will result in more student confidence and success. But... that doesn't mean the compassion should be conditional. We gotta have compassion even when that compassion doesn't cause a magical productivity boost
I think that's part of why talking about compassion for homeless people is such a lightning rod. People realize that giving a homeless person a dollar, or even $100, won't make their circumstances wholly and magically change. and it pisses people off to realize that.
Because people don't want to just do good, they want to feel good. We like helping people when we receive gratitude or credit, and when there is a noticeable result of our goodness. When our goodness just helps a person survive a continually bad situation, we tend to get pissy.
And this influences how research funding gets distributed, how charities rake in donations, how we treat addicts, and so much more, by the way. People *hate* maintenance kindness. We want to see big magical results. We don't like just keeping someone alive.
And in fact, we start blaming the person who relies on maintenance kindness -- I had a commenter yesterday complain that homeless people use money from strangers as their "income", and I was like, ?? of course they do ? they need incoming money to pay for ongoing expenses ?
It's really hard and expensive to be homeless. A lot of resources are needed just to stay alive. But from the perspective of someone handing out money to the same person each day, I guess needy folks start looking like a money pit? They're not getting the "good feelings" ROI
I've literally heard people say that they stopped giving money to a homeless person because they noticed that person was outside begging for money every single day. Um....of course they were ? Did you think your $2 donation would make them a McCarther Genius Grant winner, Judy
If someone has been systematically excluded from housing, education, work opportunities, and healthcare, giving them $2 at a bus stop is not gonna flip their whole shit around. That doesn't mean you should stop giving. They do actually deserve to live you know.
@threadreaderapp unroll thank youuu
