Thread by @marshallmaresca

I keep thinking back to a discussion a few months on reddit about THE BELGARIAD. Several comments were made about it being cliche and pedestrian, and someone said, “Yeah, it’s a fine story, but it’s never going to be a classic.”

And all I could think to respond was, “It’s over thirty years later and we’re still talking about it. How is that NOT ‘a classic’?

But that got me thinking- I cite THE BELGARIAD (and THE MALLOREON, its sequel series) as one of my influential works. But what is that influence? I know I’ve read the whole series several times. My copies of the books are in terrible shape.

And the series is definitely, despite the naysayers, one of the bigger ones in the Great Fantasy Canon. I think for several fantasy fans Of A Certain Age (i.e., those of us at the back end of Gen X), it’s the definitive fantasy series.

I know personally, I connected to it a hell of a lot more than I did LORD OF THE RINGS, which honestly I read more out of obligation/desperation for something in the genre.

I mean, the fantasy genre wasn’t the vibrant place it is today. I remember in my local Waldenbooks, the SF & Fantasy section was ONE shelf in LITERALLY the back corner. Options were minimal.

So for me, THE BELGARIAD was totally an oasis in the desert. It’s funny, because I kind of found it by accident.

See, my grandmother had given me KING OF THE MURGOS as a gift, which is Book Two of the sequel series. I attempted to read it, but didn’t get far with it out of utter confusion.

HOWEVER, at the time I was trying to read it out of confusion was the same time I was taking driver’s ed in summer school, and the logistics of that situation had me sitting around the school every day for a couple hours with a book.

And on the day I was trying to read KING OF THE MURGOS, @RunningBren came up to me (as he was in the same driver’s ed class) and was all whispers and excitement. “You’re reading that series? Isn’t it awesome?”

And I was all, “Well, I’m trying to, but I only have this book…” And he stopped me and said. “NO. GO GET THE SERIES.”

So the next day I was at said Waldenbooks in the mall and bought PAWN OF PROPHECY. Read it straight through that night.

Went back the next day (I worked at a restaurant in the mall, so I was going anyway.) and bought QUEEN OF SORCERY and MAGICIAN’S GAMBIT. Those were devoured in less than 48 hours.

I bought CASTLE OF WIZARDRY with LITERALLY a handful of nickels and dimes because that was all the cash I had on hand.

(Tangent: Author Goal: Reader so excited for next book they scrape the change out of the couch to buy it.)

I got paid the next day and bought ENCHANTERS END GAME and then GUARDIANS OF THE WEST (launching THE MALLOREON), and then finally read KING OF THE MURGOS with comprehension.

Then DEMON LORD OF KARANDA, and fortunately SORCERESS OF DARSHIVA came out in hardcover just a few weeks later, and I scooped that up. Then it was the long year of waiting for SEERESS OF KELL.

In the meantime, that year of high school was when I put together a D&D group and Dmd a long-running campaign that was largely THE BELGARIAD with the serial numbers lightly buffed off.

I bring this all up because it’s now been about ten years since I’ve last re-read the series. And I wonder to myself, how does it hold up? Why did it work so well for some people, and is so dismissed by others?

So I’m going to start a re-read (#BeglariadRead) and try to really look under the hood at this divisive, formative, inspiring and, dare I say… classic work of fantasy.

(And I think it's possibly one of the best fantasy series to "look under the hood" with, because Eddings' style and methods is just short of annotating the text himself with circles and arrows and diagrams of How To Fantasy Novel.)

Moving forward with #BelgariadRead, let’s jump into it: The Prologue.
Eddings does love a prologue. Every book in these series, as well as the Elenium/Tamuli has them, and they are PURE infodump.

(Quick note: for this exercise, when I refer to “Eddings”, I’m referring to David & Leigh as a pair. Even though it’s only the later books that give them joint credit, they acknowledged that the collaboration was always the case.) #BelgariadRead

The smart thing about the way they Prologue Infodump is by framing it as in-world religious/historical text. Giving us the thousands-of-years-ago backstory as part of the mythology of the world. #BelgariadRead

Though it also plays its hand REAL STRONG about Belgarath and the Orb being a key part of the story. But that’s OK. #BelgariadRead

We start in SENDARIA, which is Eddings being honest of just how Travelogue this series is going to be. Each section is named after the place, as Garion is dragged around the world from kingdom to kingdom on the quest. #BelgariadRead

(I remember one college friend was told he HAD to read the series so he could be a mod on a Belgariad-based MUSH, and he was all, “I didn’t HAVE to read it. You could have just told me, ‘this is where the spies live, this is where the horse people live’ and left it at that.’”)

So, BELGARIAD is utterly the Farmboy King trope, but much respect on how baldly Eddings tells-you-without-telling-you in the very first paragraph. “No matter how high Garion rose in life…” Right there. #BelgariadRead

Sendaria is kind of fantasy-“America”, no? The world is very segregated by “race” (more on that later), except Sendaria, which is this melting pot mix of “all the races”. #BelgariadRead

Of course, “all the races of the world” seems to be “every kind of white person”. The most racial distinction comes from the Angaraks, who at most read as East European/Eurasian. #BelgariadRead

We blaze through Garion’s early childhood and learning simple Sendarian values through Durnik, who is the avatar of salt-of-the-earth practicality throughout the series. #BelgariadRead

Aunt Pol protests way too much about Garion’s idea for her to marry Durnik. #BelgariadRead

We get some more infodump about the history of the world, with the Battle of Vo Mimbre and Torak, though it seems odd that 500 years later it’s this thing farmhands just stand around chatting about. #BelgariadRead

I do love how Garion mansplains Torak to Aunt Pol. “It’s *KAL* Torak.” Dude, SHE KNOWS WHO TORAK IS.
But it’s such a young-kid-who’s-learned-one-thing thing to do. #BelgariadRead

The beginning gives us the Farmboy Orphan trope, but also subverts it nicely by making it clear that Garion grows up in an environment filled with love and happiness. #BelgariadRead

Like, sure he’s given chores and he grumbles about them, but they’re never CRUEL. It’s a “hey, you’re big enough to wash dishes, so you’re gonna help out.” Never to punish, but to learn those key salt-of-the-earth values. #BelgariadRead

The first book really spends a good four chapters in just table setting: Garion growing up on the farm, his relationship with Pol, Mister Wolf the Storyteller and Durnik. Plus his Three Childhood Friends #BelgariadRead

I’m kind of fascinated that not only is the story Mister Wolf tells the same one from the prologue, but there’s even a footnote to that effect. #BelgariadRead

We meet our first Murgo when Garion goes to the village. Eddings doesn’t use “almond-shaped eyes”, but “angular eyes”, which: almost as bad. Especially since it’s about the only visual racial distinction we’re given. #BelgariadRead

There’s a lot of “races of man” and casual racism things in this series to dig into, though, so we’ll pace ourselves. #BelgariadRead

But speaking of, Rundorig is an Arend, and Arends are dumb. Like, for real, that’s their racial trait: noble but stupid. This is spoken of as fact. #BelgariadRead

Also of note: Garion has a natural talent for lying like a seasoned spy the first time he has a reason to. Which is odd given the sensible Sendarian upbringing he has. #BelgariadRead

I rather like the bit where Faldor refuses to do business with the Murgo on the holiday, despite his daughter and son-in-law freaking out about it. #BelgariadRead

Especially since Faldor really doesn’t show up again, nor his annoying daughter or son-in-law. But it sets a tone of Eddings’ style of characterization: even a tiny bit gets to be a solid bit. #BelgariadRead

It also establishes how much of the world runs on these common folk. Many, many times in the series we get scenes where crucial information is gained by Our Heroes talking plainly and kindly to average people. #BelgariadRead

Aunt Pol busts Garion making out with Zubrette in the barn. This becomes a key point of why she won’t leave him alone when Old Wolf needs her to go with him. #BelgariadRead

I do love that Zubrette blatantly trades kisses for snacks. #BelgariadRead

As Wolf and Pol get ready to leave, Brill is up to no good. Brill’s sole character trait as farm worker here is “up to no good”. And literally stinking. #BelgariadRead

They catch Brill before he runs off to warn whoever he’s gonna warn. Brill pulls a sword, and Garion pulls a knife, and then Durnik shows up to wallop Brill from behind. #BelgariadRead

I adore that, while tying up Brill, Durnik admonishes Garion for pulling the knife. “I didn’t make that for you to use that way.” #BelgariadRead

So they’re off, Garion actually beginning his adventure. Which he knows nothing about, because Pol and Wolf tell him nothing. But Durnik comes too, so Garion isn’t alone in ignorance. #BelgariadRead

This is going to be a recurring point: Garion frequently has no idea what’s going on or why, and Eddings weaponizes his stupidity for maximum “let’s explain things to you”. #BelgariadRead

There’s no “as you know, Bob” here, because Garion Knows Nothing. #BelgariadRead

So the “adventure” is underway now, which begins with meeting up with Barak and Silk. Which promptly freaks Garion out, because Barak is enormous. #BelgariadRead

For the next few chapters, Barak really doesn’t have much personality besides “huge”, “red hair” and “armed”. And Silk is weaselly, in every sense. #BelgariadRead

I do Have Questions though, about how Barak and Silk know Pol. I mean, Wolf has been wandering around for years, but Pol hasn’t been taking vacations from Faldor’s Farm. #BelgariadRead

I get that Who She Is is something that’s known by reputation, but Silk and Barak act like they KNOW her, when she’s been on the farm for 14 years or so. #BelgariadRead

I scare quoted “adventure” because really the plan right now is to trundle about Sendaria on wagons, which is a boring plan. Pol is not thrilled. #BelgariadRead

This starts the trend of Wolf Is Overly Cautious For Reasons. He’s big on slinking about with disguises even though it’s slow, because Maybe Murgos Are Watching. #BelgariadRead

Like, I feel like he gives the Murgos a lot more credit in terms of organization and infrastructure than they really deserve. #BelgariadRead

It’s just kind of absurd that the Murgos (and Grolims) have this intense network of spies throughout Sendaria. #BelgariadRead

BUT, Silk and Garion meet Asharak The Murgo while Silk is doing business, and the conversation between Silk and Asharak is delightful if absurd. #BelgariadRead

Like, it’s this, “Yes, we’re both spies, and we both know it, but we’ll make passive aggressive swipes while maintaining the polite fiction that we’re both merchants.” #BelgariadRead

Also: for being a spy and with a goal of going unnoticed, Silk seems determined to be REALLY memorable in every conversation as “Ambar of Kotu”. #BelgariadRead

Silk is literally Peralta from Brooklyn 99, in that he’s come up with a whole backstory for his undercover character AND HE’S GOING TO USE IT. #BelgariadRead

The Drasnian Secret Language is the Worst Kept Secret. Like, everyone either knows it, or at least knows of it. #BelgariadRead

Brill is still on their trail, and even ahead of their trail, and somehow Silk, super spy, needs Garion to spell out for him the idea that Brill and Asharak are working together. #BelgariadRead

Wolf FINALLY gets the idea through his skull that there’s no point to skulking around and that they should just travel fast. Which is good because the wagon train thing was getting old. #BelgariadRead

They go for Algar horses in the Algarian part of the city, and for some reason these random Algaraians know who Wolf really is on sight. #BelgariadRead

Here I think Eddings shows a certain knack for pacing, in that they stretch each bit *just* to the point where you’re going, “get on with it”, and then they get on with it. #BelgariadRead

Pol has had more than enough of it as well, deciding that if they’re going to forego the disguise, they will FOREGO IT, and she’s gonna sleep in a nice place tonight. Time to break out the Duchess of Erat. #BelgariadRead

Garion, having failed to drag out any meaningful information out of anyone else, tries to question Barak. It doesn’t work, because Barak knows not to cross Pol. #BelgariadRead

I’m not sure WHY Pol insists on keeping Garion in the dark, and it is kind of annoying from his POV, but that’s how we keep the information under wraps here. #BelgariadRead

Wolf acknowledges that they are chasing a “thief” who has powers, but balks at the word “sorcerer”. I think this is a sign that when they were writing the first book, Eddings hadn’t quite locked down their Rules of Magic. #BelgariadRead

(Also, Silk is oddly prejudiced against Algars, given that they’re Alorns and allied together. I don’t think that’s a thing that lasts beyond this book.) #BelgariadRead

They’ve found the Thief’s trail! Time to stop wasting time. Except… a Sendarian regiment has shown up to take them all to the King. For… reasons. Side quest time. #BelgariadRead
(Side quest is pretty much the rest of Pawn of Prophecy.)

So the gang is all “arrested” and being brought up to Sendar and the king. Garion is freaking out about dungeons, to the point where even Durnik is all “YOU MUST CHILL.” #BelgariadRead

Silk’s story of the election of the Sendarian king is amusing, and a nice bit of world building of how Sendaria came to be when it’s not part of the whole Races Of Man deal. #BelgariadRead

Now we get some juicy stuff, as King Fulrach of Sendaria is all “Hey old friends” to Wolf and Pol and Garion is losing his damn mind. For good cause. But once again I Have Questions. #BelgariadRead

Because Fulrach is very familiar with Pol and is all “Layla and the children miss you”, and… again, I can’t see how Pol has been able to maintain these noble relationships in the years she’s been raising Garion. #BelgariadRead

Like, Garion would have noticed if she had popped off for a few months. #BelgariadRead

I can accept that Fulrach & Layla know who she is by reputation, but that's not it. They clearly have a relationship with her. And that doesn’t track. #BelgariadRead

Especially Layla (Layla’s character trait, because all the royals in this series get one, is “pregnant”.) Let’s presume she’s in her thirties. Let’s presume Polgara met her before the farm. #BelgariadRead

Even then, she would be this “lady I met fifteen years ago as a teenager”, not “dear friend”. And surely “the children” wouldn’t know Polgara at all. #BelgariadRead

So, everyone needs to go to Val Alorn because the Alorn Kings want to have a big meeting, and even though Wolf is all “we have a thing to do” he decides it’s easier to go and placate the kings now. #BelgariadRead

Did I mention Barak is the Earl of Trellheim and Silk is Prince Kheldar of Drasnia. Garion is kind of shook by this news, but only a little. It’s just an aftershock compared to the big tremors. #BelgariadRead

Pol is not amused by Fulrach and the Alorn Kings interfering. Quiet threats are made all around. #BelgariadRead

Oh, yeah, and Fulrach spins the beans that Wolf and Pol are Belgarath and Polgara, and that breaks what’s left of Garion’s sense of normality. #BelgariadRead

Especially since Pol— clearly trying to downplay Garion’s importance— introduced him as “some kid I got stuck with and he’s here now”. Which broke Garion’s heart. #BelgariadRead

Look, Pol is kind of tough love with Garion, and I get she wants to keep him ignorant of things for a bit longer. But she could at least have braced him for some of the things that were about to happen. Poor kid is spiraling. #BelgariadRead

I do love the exchange between Garion and Fulrach: “I don’t know what’s going on.” “Kid, you’re lucky. I *wish* I didn’t know.” #BelgariadRead

And that finishes the Sendaria section! We’ll continue with Cherek and the back half of Pawn of Prophecy. #BelgariadRead

We start the Cherek section on the docks of Sendar, with a little drama between Fulrach and Layla as she frets over him before going to play with the other kings. #BelgariadRead

We’re still essentially in Garion’s POV, as we are for everything, and while it doesn’t explicitly state this (Garion doesn’t even get mentioned for a few pages), it implies that he’s just eavesdropping on royal drama. #BelgariadRead

But what about Garion? He’s still pretty salty about Belgarath and Polgara being Belgarath and Polgara, and sulks on the ship with Barak and Silk as company. #BelgariadRead

This makes sense, because Barak and Silk are the only ones who seems to give a damn about how Garion is feeling right now, and are at least trying to keep his spirits up. #BelgariadRead

(Durnik is notoriously narratively absent here. Like, he’s around, but Garion doesn’t have any interaction with him. You’d think he might weigh in on the whole “Belgarath and Polgara” thing, but not yet.) #BelgariadRead

Meanwhile, we get Captain Greldik— aka, Your Ship’s Captain for much of the series. Greldik is fun in that practical, speak-truth-to-power sort of way. He’ll sail a ship anywhere, and he won’t put up with your nonsense. #BelgariadRead

After Garion hangs out on the deck for riding the Cherek Bore, Polgara gets mad at him, but he does not care one bit. #BelgariadRead

The Cherek Bore doesn’t really make sense, meteorologically speaking, but I can embrace that Belar would just make a permanent monster storm because it’s totally metal. That’s the sort of god Belar is. #BelgariadRead

So Polgara is mad at Garion, but Belgarath steps in for this round of discipline when it’s clear Garion does not care how mad she is. This bit is troubling, not just for the, “Oh, angry woman, let the boys talk this out.” bit. (But that is problematic as hell.) #BelgariadRead

Wolf basically does a little gaslighting logic dance around Garion’s head, that Garion is mad that they’re Belgarath and Polgara, and he shouldn’t be, because that’s who they are, so stop being a jerk. #BelgariadRead

And Garion is all, “Oh, I guess I’m not really mad at you but the situation” because Belgarath plays him like a fiddle. #BelgariadRead

Like, the text doesn’t really address this, but he’s not mad about them being Belgarath and Polgara, but because THEY NEVER TOLD HIM. Beyond the whole “his entire life” thing. #BelgariadRead

They literally spent the last few weeks in a deliberate, engineered deception of “don’t tell the truth to the boy”. And that’s magnified in the time approaching Sendar. #BelgariadRead

Like, they *know* the facade will be revealed when they get to Sendar, and it’s a nine day ride, and at no point do they pull Garion aside to be, “OK, brace yourself, here’s some serious stuff.” #BelgariadRead

I’m saying I don’t have a lot of sympathy for Polgara at this point. You’d think throughout this bit she’d give some thought to how Garion is dealing. #BelgariadRead

(I’m also thinking, he’s got no peers right now. I mean, Fulrach and Layla have, like, a dozen children. There wasn’t one spare Sendarian Prince or Princess around Garion’s age for him to hang out with this whole time?) #BelgariadRead

Martje the witch is fun, but raises some questions about world building and magic. But she really gets under Barak’s skin, and totally gives the game away to Garion. If he wasn’t too dense to see it. #BelgariadRead

Now the Alorn Kings and Queens! Plus Brand, the Rivan Warder, because Riva has no king. #BelgariadRead

Given that both this and LOTR play this particular card, is there any historical precedence for “the royal line is gone, so we’ll have a not-King placeholder FOREVER just in case the real king comes back”? #BelgariadRead

The Kings and Queens are largely defined by their singular traits (fat, can't walk, pretentious, and so on). I do love how Queen Porenn is brazenly snarky about how tedious Queen Islena is. #BelgariadRead

We’ll get more into Islena later, but again: she seems to know Polgara personally. Plus she fancies herself on the same level because she does sleight-of-hand tricks. #BelgariadRead

Also, Porenn is seeking pregnancy advice from Layla, and is expecting a frank and graphic letter on the subject. Which is just part of the Silk/Porenn dynamic that is kind of strange. But I wonder just what Layla is going to write... #BelgariadRead

(There’s also the whole thing of “But Porenn is young and pretty, how could she actually love her fat husband?” Ugh.) #BelgariadRead

And so the Royal Council begins, and Garion is left out, kind of bored, because again, Pol is just kind of dismissive of his existence right now. #BelgariadRead

So the palace of King Anheg is, apparently, a boring place, and Garion has little to do but sit around with Durnik. Durnik is not too thrilled with how idle the soldiers are, how unruly the kitchen is. #BelgariadRead

Garion also tries to chat with Durnik about Barak and Silk and their love lives (both: terrible. Barak’s marriage is terrible and Silk is in love with his aunt.) Durnik is not down for this gossip. #BelgariadRead

Also, Durnik is SCANDALIZED that a young woman wants to TALK TO HIM. Like, he’s all “THAT SHAMELESS HUSSY!” because she suggested they could get to know one another. He wants to report her to the authorities, whoever they may be. #BelgariadRead

Barak and Silk ditch the royal meeting for the afternoon, and take Garion and Durnik to the shipyards to check on Barak’s ship. Plus, an apparent local prostitute just calls out to Barak in the street that he hasn't visited her in a while. #BelgariadRead

Like, they do not hold back in the whole “Barak’s Marriage is terrible” department. And I appreciate they don't try to pretend that it's a lot of his fault. (Of course, Merel is terrible, too. But they're both toxic for each other.) #BelgariadRead

A Cherek teenager flirts with Garion, and then another gets in his face all “Who gave you permission to talk to her?” Recognizing this is just posturing to start a fight, Garion skips to the end and punches him. #BelgariadRead

Then the girl kisses him. Silk and Barak tease him for not pursuing the “more than kissing” options that they think are on the table. Garion is not amused. #BelgariadRead

Back at the palace, Barak upsells the tale of Garion’s great battle and kiss. Everyone loves it. Except Garion. And Aunt Pol. She’s really put out that Garion is doing things like this. But at the same time, she isn’t exactly making sure he’s otherwise engaged. #BelgariadRead

This hits the next level when Barak organizes a boar hunt. Silk and Durnik are going (Silk does NOT want to but Porenn gets him to go), and Pol tries to object when Garion is invited as well. #BelgariadRead

Garion, again, is not having it, because right now Pol is really being the worst. I mean, I really like Polgara throughout the series, but here she’s, like, deliberately horrible to him for no reason. #BelgariadRead

Like, she's yet to engage with him in the "So I kept a huge secret all your life and actively, deliberately deceived you for the past few weeks, and we should talk about what's really going on" thing. Instead, she scowls and gets annoyed that he's being a teenager. #BelgariadRead

So he stands up to her, and since Belgarath backs him she’s all, “Whatever, I’ll make your lives horrible later” to them. #BelgariadRead

There's some deeply embedded gender absolutism in all of this that should be engaged, as it's woven through the whole series. It's going to keep coming up. #BelgariadRead

They meet Martje again on the way to the boar hunt, and she’s all “Today’s the day, Barak!” and he responds with murder. For real, he just hurls a spear at her. She blocks it, but he was pretty serious about the killing. #BelgariadRead

(Again, this is pretty damning in terms of gender politics. "A woman says something I didn't like? THROW A SPEAR AT HER." Yeah. Hmm. This isn't a good look on you, Barak.) #BelgariadRead

There's a bit earlier with Silk and Porenn where he's all, "Yes, our Cherek cousins are all conservative and don't think women are people, but shrug and put up with it!" Like Drasnia or anyone else is doing much better.... #BelgariadRead

Next we meet The Bear-Cult of Belar. This series has a strange relationship with religion. I mean, the gods are all universally recognized, as everyone is more racially/culturally aligned to “he’s OUR god”. #BelgariadRead

Like, the Alorns recognize that Mara and Nedra and Torak all exist, but Belar is their god so that's who they pray to. But there's not a lot of what worshipping Belar MEANS. #BelgariadRead

For example, the Bear-Cult is presented as dangerous, meddling zealots, and that’s odd because Belar himself is not presented that way. So why is the church in his name like that? #BelgariadRead

But in a world with actively present gods, and heroes who are disciples of one, effectively on a holy quest, it’s a little odd for Eddings to present his main characters going, “Ugh, zealots.” #BelgariadRead

(I’m going to dig more into the gods and religion and comparative morality in The Belgariad a bit later because… boy is there some wonkiness.) #BelgariadRead

At the boar hunt, Garion is placed alone in the forest, in a perfect position to overhear a conversation between a spy and his employers. And the spy acknowledges “Yeah, Barak and the others came out this way”. #BelgariadRead

But at no point do they go, “Hey, maybe right here in the forest where the people we’re spying on are having a boar hunt is a bad place for this conversation.” #BelgariadRead

Then the boar comes, and Garion is ready for a tussle. It goes badly, and then Barak shows up rescue him. AS A BEAR. Well, from the POV of Garion, who is dazed, it’s all “Is that Barak or a bear or both?” #BelgariadRead

They get back, Garion a bit concussed and covered in blood, and Pol is fixing to get her mad on, until she realizes how spooked Barak is. And they’re both, “It happened”, so they’re both mutually aware of this Barak As A Bear situation. #BelgariadRead

So, now that Garion is injured and staying in bed, with Pol tending to him, it’s time for that serious conversation about what’s really going on, right?
Oh hahahahaha no.
It’s just time for Pol to mock Garion. #BelgariadRead

Like, both her and Wolf spend a fair amount of time tearing him down him for getting mauled by a boar. #BelgariadRead

Once he’s better, it’s back to hanging out with Durnik while everyone else is in a secret meeting. Oh, except Durnik gets invited to it as well, so Garion is left to his own devices. And you wonder why he gets into trouble. #BelgariadRead

But left to his own devices means he finds the abandoned part of the castle that one can overhear the meeting from. And he finds the spy, but the spy doesn’t see him. He decides that Something Should Be Done. #BelgariadRead

One thing on the overheard meeting: It’s, like, day four or five of these meetings. And they seem to be talking about the most basic implications of “the Orb has been stolen”. Like, what have they been talking about for days? #BelgariadRead

I mean, honestly, what needs to be discussed about this that would take more than, like, an hour? “Look, the Orb is important, but while we’re all here, can we talk about tariffs?” #BelgariadRead

Fortunately, for once Garion sees something wrong and chooses the smart option of “go tell somebody”. He decides to go tell Barak, who’s been spending the past couple days unraveling over the whole “turn into a bear” thing. As you do. #BelgariadRead

Oh, and Merel shows up to just pour salt into Barak’s wounds. Though she brings up Barak showing up drunk to her bedroom and demanding wifely duties in a way that sounds pretty damn rapey.
#BelgariadRead

Merel really loves using the word “duty” as a knife, doesn’t she? Like, it’s quite clear that she was told years ago that it’s her duty to her husband to do things and she has NEVER let that go. #BelgariadRead

Even still: pretty damn rapey, Eddings. I don’t care if Barak now feels bad about it. #BelgariadRead

Garion, after listening to all this, final decides to mention the, “Oh, there’s a spy”. Once he gets around to describing who the spy met in the woods, Barak and Merel know who it is, and they go to the kings. #BelgariadRead

Here it all comes out with Asharak the Murgo, but it somehow takes Silk to figure out that Garion *can’t* say anything about Asharak and manages to twenty-questions it out of him. But that really makes Pol look bad. #BelgariadRead

Like, I get that Asharak did some subtle brain sorcery stuff on Garion, but he apparently did it for years under your watch, Pol. YEARS. Now that she spots it, she can snip it like that, but still. #BelgariadRead

It shouldn’t have taken Silk noticing Garion’s inability to talk about it, when the subject of Asharak has COME UP TWICE BEFORE NOW. #BelgariadRead

I honestly wonder if Eddings didn’t realize how badly Pol comes off in this section, or if that was the intention. Like, to build up Garion’s relationship with Belgarath and Silk, they decided to undermine Pol. #BelgariadRead

Anyway, the traitor who the spy is working for is this guy who had been exiled from Cherek, because: traitor. Proven because he had storerooms filled with Red Murgo Gold. #BelgariadRead

OK, the Red Murgo Gold has always bothered me. Like, is it red? Or is it gold? Because, gold has pretty specific properties, and if it’s a red metal, it isn’t gold, you know? #BelgariadRead

But also, the whole Red Gold thing keeps coming up, often as proof that someone has been paid off by Murgos or is a traitor or such, and I have SO MANY QUESTIONS about that. #BelgariadRead

Like, if Murgo Gold is just accepted currency, wouldn’t it just be freely flowing throughout the economy? Like, if you got paid in Red Murgo Gold, surely you would use it to pay for things later, and then THEY pay for things with it, etc. #BelgariadRead

So its Murgo origins should have long since been rendered irrelevant. #BelgariadRead

OR, if you can’t spend it— say, in Cherek, where they hate all things Angarak and thus would treat Murgo gold as a sign of treason— WHY WOULD YOU ACCEPT IT AS PAYMENT? It’s literally worthless. #BelgariadRead

So now that this very serious business is taken care of, where Pol discovers a Grolim had his fingerprints on Garion all this time, she sends him back to his room. Alone.
Where Asharak is waiting.
#BelgariadRead

Like, isn’t there a whole thing about NO Angaraks in Cherek at all? And yet Asharak is just in the palace, meeting the spy in a bar, like it’s no big deal. #BelgariadRead

Garion manages to run away because Aunt Pol had severed the connection in his head to Asharak. Which is good, but, then he’s got Asharak’s men chasing him. Why does Asharak have men? Cherek men? #BelgariadRead

Here’s a good payoff from an earlier bit. They talk about what a sprawling architectural mess the palace is, parts of it in ruin, because previous kings just kept expanding it. So Garion, running away, easily gets turned around and lost. #BelgariadRead

Apparently the Earl of Jarvik has snuck a whole army of his own loyal warriors (and Asharak) into the ruined part of the palace, and it adds to the chaos of Garion running, not sure which Cherek warriors he can safely run to. #BelgariadRead

He manages to hide in JUST THE RIGHT PLACE to watch and hear the kings et al question the now-captured Earl of Jarvik. Including Pol working her mojo to make him talk. #BelgariadRead

Garion doesn’t call for help, but quietly listens to the all the exposition while he stays hidden. #BelgariadRead

Jarvik reveals all Asharak wanted was Garion, and NOW Pol is all, “Oh, I should be concerned about Garion”. She’s about to tear everything apart and Garion calls out from his hiding spot. #BelgariadRead

They figure out a way to help Garion out of the hiding spot (Anheg bristles at Barak’s “smash the wall” plan), and Garion comes out in Anheg’s grandmother’s bedroom. Because that’s where the long-forgotten secret passage goes to. #BelgariadRead

Polgara tries to give Garion a hard time because he was supposed to go to his room, but “Asharak was in my room” takes the wind out of those sails. #BelgariadRead

Islena actually tries to be all “With our combined powers we could find Asharak”. Polgara plays along just enough to scare her. Plus Wolf comments how Asharak has “an unusual mind”, which he knows because he checked him out once. #BelgariadRead

I’m thinking, Belgarath is CLEARLY giving Asharak and other Grolims in the western kingdoms WAY too much liberty. Many of their problems here would be solved if he lived up to his reputation slightly and made Grolims just a little wary about crossing the borders. #BelgariadRead

So Belgarath is finally all, “Let me get back to chasing the thief”, which, really should have been days ago. And he wants Hettar to join them! Hettar really was very stealth-introduced, in that I've never mentioned him all this time. #BelgariadRead

Like, he was just in the background to carry King Cho-Hag around. And then Belgarath is all, “Yeah, this guy, he talks to horses!” and that’s now a thing. (And only the Horse Country people had people who can talk to horses...) #BelgariadRead

Belgarath also mentions two more people who will join them and Anheg is all “Oh, fulfilling the prophecy” and Belgarath is all “I don’t care about that” but COME ON you’re deliberately choosing people based on that. #BelgariadRead

For real, the conversation in this scene is literally all they needed to do instead of having a five-day meeting. I think Belgarath liked stalling. Or did it on purpose, because: prophecy. #BelgariadRead

Anheg then has a private conversation with Polgara and Belgarath (and Garion) where he’s all “you’re protecting a thing, and that thing is important, let me help” and freaks out about Garion’s palm. #BelgariadRead

I’m just saying, Eddings foreshadows with a sledgehammer, and you have to be Garion levels of dense to not see what he’s setting up here. However, Garion is Garion levels of dense. #BelgariadRead

Like, even after all this, and when they leave Martje calls him “Great One”, he’s all “So, is something going on or what, I don’t understand.” #BelgariadRead

Polgara restoring Martje’s vision is a nice way to show her power, while also being ice cold and terrifying. #BelgariadRead

Also Polgara is all “Hey, stop committing treason with the Bear-Cult” to Queen Islena, which… that came out of nowhere. Like, LITERALLY what? #BelgariadRead

As they all get on the ship to go to Vo Wacune, Barak and Merel continue to be terrible to each other. #BelgariadRead

Well, now that we're at the end of this book, it's finally time for that big, open heart-to-heart between Garion and Polgara, the most important person in his life.

I'm kidding, that completely doesn't happen.
#BelgariadRead

Instead, we have Garion getting a few straight answers out of Belgarath about who he and Polgara are, and their connection to him. #BelgariadRead

Though here Belgarath is all “we don’t call ourselves sorcerers”, but later they totally do. It’s also unclear how Grolim sorcery is different from Disciple-of-Aldur Sorcery. #BelgariadRead

Belgarath: “Better I tell you then you get a distorted account from someone else.” BIT LATE FOR THAT, OLD MAN. #BelgariadRead

Also, “Polgara wouldn’t deliberately lie to you.” Um… yeah, we kind of missed that exit a few miles back. #BelgariadRead

But now Garion has embraced the idea that Belgarath is his “grandfather”, and that’s the term he’ll be using from now on. That finishes Pawn of Prophecy! Queen of Sorcery comes next. #BelgariadRead

So, starting on Queen of Sorcery: New Book, New Prologue. Here we get an accounting of The Battle of Vo Mimbre, which we had already been told the basics of before. The prologue fleshes it out better while embracing a historical tone. #BelgariadRead

Clever thing about this prologue: In addition to telling us something about the Battle and Pol & Belgarath being present, it gives us a quick sketch of the Arends, Tolnedrans and Nyissans, who are exactly who this book focuses on. #BelgariadRead

So, the gang is all hanging out in the ruins of Vo Wacune, waiting for Hettar to show up with horses. Garion is bored and listless, and still pretty uncentered over “entire life is a lie” thing. As you do when you’re fifteen waiting around in a ruin. #BelgariadRead

A little bit of Garion update: he’s now fifteen, he’s now got his own sword (a gift from Barak) and a special amulet from Belgarath and Polgara. The amulet is “a tradition in our family”. #BelgariadRead

There’s something fascinating about Vo Wacune being a ruin. I mean, it’s pretty much on the Sendarian/Arendish border, and it’s been two thousand years. You would think someone would have razed it completely or built a new city. #BelgariadRead

You would at least think, given the state of Arendia, it would be a place where plenty of people are hiding or squatting. But our party seems to be the only ones around. #BelgariadRead

The bit where Pol reminisces about the Wacite Arends, and her living memory of them, is very nice. Especially “Pol, that was twenty-five centuries ago.” “Was it? It feels like last year.” #BelgariadRead

There’s also all the undercurrents that Pol and Belgarath love each other, will tear apart the world for each other and to fulfill their tasks… but they don’t really like each other all that much. #BelgariadRead

Every traveling quest needs a guy like Durnik- the guy who not only fixes up a ruined building to give a working fireplace, but also hammers pegs into the wall to hang cloaks on. That’s the guy you want around. #BelgariadRead

Garion has taken it upon himself to keep an eye out for Hettar’s arrival, mostly because it’s more interesting than sitting around in their camp doing nothing. #BelgariadRead

Hettar doesn’t show up yet, but Garion overhears Lammer and Detton, the series’s Rosencrantz and Guildenstern of Arendish misery. #BelgariadRead

Like, nothing is good at all for these two. They’re both starving (comparing notes on eating tree roots or their shoes), Lammer’s family is dead (but “they aren’t cold or hungry anymore”), but are oddly upbeat in their misery. #BelgariadRead

This gives Garion enough righteous anger to tackle the singing fop who wanders into the ruin, who happens to be Lelldorin, the newest member of the party. They do the comic book intro thing: first fight, then become friends. #BelgariadRead

Once again, we get these snippets about Belgarath choosing their companions based on prophecy. And Pol is all, “I guess that’s a thing you’re doing”. #BelgariadRead

It’s funny, but Belgarath is always all, “It’s an obscure bit of the Mrin Codex” or “the prophecies are all riddles and madness”, but… the things we explicitly see are pretty straightforward if poetic. #BelgariadRead

Like, the Prophecy spells out the companions in iconic terms (The Dreadful Bear, The Horse Lord, The Bowman), but it’s not *confusing*. But it’s weird that Polgara is out of sorts that he’s using that as a guide for this mission. #BelgariadRead

Maybe because if he’s assembling the Prophecy Companions, that means this really is it, and Garion is the Child of Light, and she’s not ready for that yet. #BelgariadRead

Meanwhile, Lelldorin! He shoots arrows! He shoots off his mouth! He’s got no filter between thought and speech! He’s an adorable fool, and Garion sees him both as “cool slightly older guy” and “this dumb, dumb guy”. #BelgariadRead

Like, it’s good for Garion to have someone who’s a peer, but Lelldorin is not smart. He’s known Garion for all of one day and he’s already leaking secrets about rebellion against the Mimbrate ruling class. #BelgariadRead

Plus, when Garion mentions his parents being murdered and planning revenge on their killer, and Lelldorin is ON IT, pledging to be there right by his side in Operation Revenge. That’s the guy Lelldorin is: immediately Ride or Die with you. #BelgariadRead

Hettar shows up, and so Belgarath spells out what’s really going on: they’re chasing Zedar, who use to be Belzedar, as he’s stolen the Orb, and is working his way to Angarak territory in a roundabout way. #BelgariadRead

He mentions there’s also Ctuchik, the High Priest of the Grolims, who Zedar is trying to dodge. Zedar and Ctuchik are both Disciples of Torak, but they don’t play well with each other. #BelgariadRead

So the plan is to track the Orb (and thus Zedar) through Arendia, and with that: it’s quest time. #BelgariadRead

So they’re planning to travel through Arendia, and Silk goes full Peralta again with his new character, Radek of Boktor. He tries to get everyone on board, but Belgarath is going to Captain Holt him this time. #BelgariadRead

“We’re doing this and there are reasons.” “I don’t care.” #BelgariadRead

They stop at Lelldorin’s uncle’s home to spend the night, and Lelldorin’s cousin is arguing with another cousin who is all trying to go along to get along with the Mimbrates. #BelgariadRead

After dinner, Lelldorin and the cousin (Torasin) are with Garion and just plain start talking about their plan to assassinate the Arendish king. Garion’s all, “Umm… I could go, you know.” #BelgariadRead

Lelldorin, sweet, stupid Lelldorin, is all “No, I trust you, here’s our regicide plan.” Even though Garion DOES NOT WANT. But then he points out that it’s pretty odd some random Murgo would show up, give them money to kill the king. #BelgariadRead

Lelldorin is still all “But… but… it’s a good plan!” Oh, Lelldorin. Garion also bring up how a Murgo plot with Murgo gold happened in Cherek to kill the king there as well. Lelldorin is deeply confused. #BelgariadRead

They stop on the road the next night, and get attacked by thieves. Big Fight ensues. Garion briefly thinks that Lelldorin is Bravely Running Away, but he’s just getting his bow, and Garion was pretty fast with the judgment there. #BelgariadRead

Garion gets grabbed in the fight (“he’s the one we want”) and abducted for a little bit but then Bear Barak arrives and murders them all. All the thieves dead, there’s brief talk of tracking who hired them, but Belgarath thinks that’s a waste of time. #BelgariadRead

Because it would be all, “Some Murgo hired them to waylay us” and it really doesn’t matter. #BelgariadRead

Oh, Durnik killed one of them, and he’s really pretty messed up about it. Everyone else is all “Murder, part of a day’s work” and Durnik is all tears and “his legs wouldn’t stop kicking”. But Pol is there for him. #BelgariadRead

Have Polgara and Durnik had a “so I’m an immortal sorceress” conversation at all, or did he just shrug and goes along with whatever? #BelgariadRead

On the road the next day, Mimbrate Knights start to give them a hard time, until Tolnedran imperial forces show up and are all, “The imperial road is our territory so screw off, knights.” I guess that’s what makes Tolnedra an “empire”. #BelgariadRead

They don’t actually control any other countries, but they’ve got roads, troops and hostels throughout the west that they do control. So, close enough? #BelgariadRead

Everyone else is really digging into Lelldorin about the life and conditions of serfs in Arendia. And, yeah, it’s bad, but I can’t believe that the other countries are socialist paradises where the poor are perfectly cared for. #BelgariadRead

They stop in a particularly horrible inn in a particularly horrible town, and everyone is all, “For real, Lelldorin, your country is gross.” #BelgariadRead

Garion goes for a walk and it’s pretty clear that Asharak is out there in the forest, re-establishing connection with him. Not good, Garion. Not good. #BelgariadRead

So Lelldorin has embraced the idea that serfs are treated terribly, and comes up with terrible ideas of how do deal with it, including A. renouncing title and living in poverty and B. instigating a serf uprising. #BelgariadRead

Garion is all “Neither of those would help, man.” Lelldorin realizes that he really doesn’t do anything right. Perhaps the Eddings do as well, as they’re about to all-but-write-him-out at this point. #BelgariadRead

Because MONSTER ATTACK. But it’s more like Monster Grumble In The Background, giving our heroes enough time to ride the league (three miles) to get to the place they can mount a defense from. #BelgariadRead

The monsters (with their venomous claws) launch their attack as the heroes make their final sprint, but only Lelldorin gets mauled by them. Even still, everyone manages to get up on the tor to hold their defense for a while. #BelgariadRead

Pol and Garion treat Lelldorin, and it’s looking a bit rough for all of them until, who should arrive: MANDORALLEN. I know Belgarath is expecting him, but for him to just show up in the road like this is a bit odd. #BelgariadRead

But still: MANDORALLEN. The man just pounds in, battle horn blaring, and goes through the monsters like they’re so much wet paper. I feel like he needs a “Guns and Ships” style theme song. #BelgariadRead

MANDORALLEN
He’s got his horse by rein
And a black curly mane
Jousting’s his game
Where he brings the pain
All the same
He won’t refrain
From showing Lelldorin his disdain.
#BelgariadRead

For real, he’s doing the whole “I’m going to be ‘civil’ to this Asturian in a way that’s pretty dickish” while Lelldorin is half-dead on a stretcher. Garion does not like. #BelgariadRead

Then they come across two Mimbrate armies getting ready to go to war with each other over some forgotten slight, so we must again show Mandorallen Is Awesome by having him challenge the two leaders so everyone can move on. #BelgariadRead

Quelle surprise, Mandorallen beats them both. (Barak also gets to break some guy’s face over beard insults. DO NOT INSULT THE BEARD.) But there’s also a Grolim amongst the two armies. #BelgariadRead

Now, the Grolim has pretty much brainwashed everyone. It’s like Arendia has two dozen Grima Wormtongues and EVERYONE is Theoden. Pol starts to deal with him until DURNIK SNEAK ATTACK. #BelgariadRead

Durnik will not abide anyone attacking Polgara, even though she’s a four thousand year old sorceress and she can deal. Pol is both angry and touched. #BelgariadRead

With the Grolim out of commission, literally everyone in the two armies comes to their senses. Which means Lelldorin can be left behind with one of those lords to proper heal up. Lelldorin doesn’t want to, though. #BelgariadRead

Mandorallen shames the hell out of him, though, so Lelldorin agrees to stay behind, telling Garion that it’s on him to foil the Regicide Plot. No pressure, kid. #BelgariadRead

Garion tries to read the riot act to Mandorallen, who’s all “Yeah, but I had to be that rough to save him, and he already doesn’t like me, and maybe you don’t either, but I know I’m doing the right thing.” #BelgariadRead

Garion is a bit shook by that.
Even still, I feel like the narrative was all “All right, here’s a cool guy: Lelldorin! Oh, wait, never mind him, here’s a REALLY cool guy. Let’s get rid of the other one.” #BelgariadRead

For real, for being one of the Companions of the Prophecy, Lelldorin has spectacularly minimal impact on the narrative. #BelgariadRead

So, with Lelldorin thrown aside and Mandorallen firmly established, Garion (and the Eddings) decide it’s time to learn about Hettar. The guy has just been in the background as “horse guy” all this time. #BelgariadRead

You know, I’ve read plenty of slush, and I had my share of crappy writing before I got decent at it, and I’ve seen this as a recurring problem: plenty of secondary characters who are presented as “key” but are just a name and an attribute. #BelgariadRead

And I wonder how much it is that Eddings came up with all these side companions first, and then while writing realized how little they were really needed as things went on. (Eventually sidelining them completely in The Malloreon.) #BelgariadRead

Anyway, Hettar has TWO attributes: horses and Hates Murgos. Murgo hate comes from his parents being killed by Murgos (remember he’s the king’s adopted son), and leaving him for dead after torturing him. He was seven. #BelgariadRead

I’m saying Hettar has earned being a bit maladjusted when it comes to Murgos. But it does raise some interesting questions. #BelgariadRead

We’ve been presented that everything in this Alorn/Angarak West/East (ugh, but it is so very textually "Kingdoms Of The West", so chew on that) situation is very much a Cold War. It’s all, right now, espionage and infiltration. #BelgariadRead

The Angaraks seem to have pretty open relations/open borders with all the non-Alorn western kingdoms. Our mostly-Alorn heroes are all “There’s a Murgo!” and the locals are all, “Yeah, and?” #BelgariadRead

Of course, the real problem is, textually, there doesn’t seem to be a single Murgo in the west that’s on legitimate business. They are, as a culture, Up To No Good. Side eye at you on that, Eddings. Big side eye. #BelgariadRead

Also, apparently, they would just pop into Algaria for “raids”? Which seems… hardly convenient. I mean, they don’t really share a border with Algaria. They can cut through Mishrak ac Thull to get there but… why? #BelgariadRead

It’s not for money or resources. It's just Doing Some Killing. Which really makes no sense.

I’m just saying, the geography is hardly convenient for Murgos to slip in, engage in casual murder-for-murder’s-sake, and slip out again. #BelgariadRead

Anyway, the gang reaches the Great Arendish Fair, which is a worldbuilding thing I really like, having this permanent-yet-always-changing international trade center. And so therefore OF COURSE both Brill and Asharak are there. #BelgariadRead

I mean, Brill— I have some thoughts about Brill but I’ll save them until they’re more relevant. But he’s watching them at the tent they’re staying at (A Drasnian merchant/spy), so they play some game of keeping his attention. #BelgariadRead

Honestly, it’s a plan that sounds clever at first, but when you stop to think about it, isn’t smart at all. Or, it’s the kind of “smart” thinking that presumes you’re dealing with someone stupid, which is never smart. #BelgariadRead

Namely, the idea is, if they keep popping in and out of the tent for a bit, and Brill knows they’re there, he won’t report back to Asharak any time soon. Which… huh? No. #BelgariadRead

Even presuming that Brill would decide he has to stay and keep eyes on the tent, he could still pay some kid a couple of coins to run over to Asharak and deliver a message. #BelgariadRead

But they think they’re so clever because they kept his attention for a while and then cut a hole in the back of the tent to slip out. (But… weren’t their horses and equipment out front anyway? Nevermind.) #BelgariadRead

Maybe that’s why shortly after they leave the fair, Ashrark gets a hold of Garion’s head again. He briefly thinks he’s surrounded by enemies and tries to run away. It’s a fairly evocative bit, describing our companions but in a frightening way. #BelgariadRead

As they get closer to Vo Mimbre, we get some of Mandorallen’s Tragic Romantic Backstory. Short version: love triangle, where he and a married woman fall in love, but everyone is noble and decent about it all. #BelgariadRead

But, you know, tragic, because Their Love Is Real but they can’t do anything about it. Durnik, and to a lesser extent Polgara, are not so moved by this tale, because it’s immoral. #BelgariadRead

Belgarath is all “immoral is kind of relative” noting that adultery isn’t a big deal, but Polgara won’t have it, and more or less slut-shames THE ENTIRE NATION OF MARAGOR and we got to talk about some stuff now. #BelgariadRead

NAMELY, given the religious and theological framework of the civilizations of this world, how did they get these western puritanical notions of propriety, monogamy, marriage and rules of sexual behavior in and out of it? #BelgariadRead

I mean, in Arendia? Yeah, actually, that makes sense, because Chamdar seems like a stuffy god who is down for vows of chastity or celibacy or poverty because he thinks suffering and denial is good for you. #BelgariadRead

But where do the Alorns get it from? I mean, let’s be real, Belar seems like the kind of god who would be ALL FOR a drunken orgy (and I recall later on there’s a reference to the Bear Cult having, you know, THOSE kinds of rituals.) #BelgariadRead

But MOST of the Alorns are all, “Oh, those Bear-Cultists and THOSE rituals, I would never!” and I don’t know where that comes from. Where did they get those puritanical values? Copying the Arends? #BelgariadRead

Now, the Tolnedrans, Marags and Nyissans are presented as not having those same western values, but with a very judgmental, THESE PEOPLE ARE DECADENT AND WICKED and our heroes will not have it. #BelgariadRead

So we reach Vo Mimbre, and Polgara decides it’s time to be impressive, which means Wolf has to go Full Belgarath with the white robe and everything. He’s not thrilled. #BelgariadRead

The knights at the front gate of the royal palace aren’t buying the “this is Belgarath” story (plus poking Mandorallen with the “Bastard of Vo Mander” thing), so Belgarath has to show off a little to get their attention. #BelgariadRead

This is the first time that Belgarath really BRINGS IT. He takes a twig and makes it into a tree. And then tells the knight giving him crap that he’s got to take care of the tree and give away the apples. That was pretty excellent. #BelgariadRead

So everyone goes to see the King and Queen, and as soon as they’re in there, Polgara looks at the Queen and is all, “Girl, we need to talk” and they leave. They’re gonna talk about pregnancy. Because that’s apparently all queens care about. #BelgariadRead

I mean, I’m just saying, we’ve met five queens, and three of them are all either pregnant or trying to get pregnant. And Silar never spoke. (For real, Queen Silar does not have a line of dialogue.) #BelgariadRead

And the one who isn’t about pregnancy at all? Is presented as a pretentious bore who has too many hobbies. The coding of “Queen Islena needs something *important* to fill her time, like babies” is pretty blatant. MORE SIDE EYE, EDDINGS. #BelgariadRead

Anyway, Nachak, the Murgo Ambassador comes in already fired up, out of the gate with “These Alorns are telling you lies!” And he’s got guards. So, of course, Garion decides it’s now or never to bring up Nachak and the Regicide Plot. #BelgariadRead

And he really tries to not bring Lelldorin into it, but that makes it just, “I totally heard about it from somebody”, and Nachak is all “Hearsay!” and then Mandorallen steps up and vouches for Garion’s character. #BelgariadRead

Most importantly, while Mandorallen could totally be all, “Yeah, it’s Lelldorin”, he doesn’t because he respect’s Garion’s honor and vows as if they were his own. Nachak’s response: “kill them!” to his men. Not a sign of innocence, man. #BelgariadRead

So it’s a big throne room fight (the King quickly gives Mandorallen and the rest leave to defend themselves, since fighting in the throne room is a major faux pas. Heroes tear the guards up, including Hettar taking down Nachak. #BelgariadRead

The throne room: bloody mess, and the King is all “Yeah, this is a good metaphor for this country.” But Garion is a hero, right! Which means Pol shows up to chase the girls away. Apparently in Arendia you can get engaged by accident. #BelgariadRead

So the other two vertices of Mandorallen’s love triangle show up, and everyone is noble and polite. And the husband leaves Mandorallen and his wife alone to talk, but makes Garion stay in the room for propriety. #BelgariadRead

For real, this is probably my idea of a personal hell: being forced to awkwardly sit in the middle of an awkward conversation so it won’t escalate, but you get stuck for someone else’s appearances. #BelgariadRead

But that’s Arendia for you! That ends this section, so it’s on to Tolnedra! #BelgariadRead

So we go into Tolnedra, nation of delightfully open corruption and bribery. Silk is happy as a clam, with a custom agent you can just be, “Here is your bribe! No need to check the packs.” #Belgariad

(I’m changing the hashtag to just #Belgariad because that’s probably better for discoverability, as well as FOUR MORE CHARACTERS.)

Apparently Tolnedra is largely astir because there’s bound to be a dynastic succession. Ran Borune is old and has no male heir, so all the noble families are READY. Which means bribes and poisoning all around. #Belgariad

They meet some monks from Mar Terrin (further building up the terror of Maragor), and one of them has lost his mind, until Garion whacks him in the face and all of a sudden he’s better. How? MYSTERIOUSLY. #Belgariad

Adding to Tolnedra’s delightful corruption, literal MURDER IN THE STREETS of political enemies. Like, “Oh, you came outside without your guards, too bad.” STABSTABSTAB #Belgariad

And the Imperial Legions are mostly “don’t do it where we can see it”, so not too effective in keeping the peace. #Belgariad

Oh, and GUESS WHO IS IN TOWN? It’s that guy Brill, just poking around. Our heroes think they manage to sneak away without being noticed. Silk goes off to put his ear to the ground. #Belgariad

Silk meets up with the gang in full “pretending to be someone else” mode. Like, he works his face muscles to look like someone else. Handy skill! NEVER COMES UP AGAIN. #Belgariad

I think Eddings does a lot of Chekov’s Armory stuff, and leaves plenty of guns up on the wall that never get fired. Silk’s “give myself a different face” skill is absolutely one of them. #Belgariad

So they’re back on the road, and some soldiers get the drop on them and arrest them in the night. It doesn’t become a bloodbath only because they already had grabbed Durnik at sword point. #Belgariad

So they get taken to Count Dravor, who ordered them arrested, but he really has no idea why, because he’s blissed out of his gourd. Surely his steward Y’Diss will be able to clear up the matter, right? #Belgariad

And with Y’diss, we get our first Nyissan, who is drugging and controlling the count. And… like, I feel like we’re getting some seriously racist coding here, but I’ll confess I’m not exactly catching what it is. #Belgariad

So, Eddings never mentions skin color when talking “races of man”, unless it’s fantastical, like the Ulgos. It’s all facial features, and for the Nyissans, it’s “grossly sensual”. And I’m sure that’s some coded racist bullshit, but I don’t know what, exactly. #Belgariad

They’re in the dungeons for, like, all of five minutes, because as soon as the guards are out, Silk picks the locks and gets everyone out. Then they beat up the guards, set the kitchen on fire and get the heck out. #Belgariad

Oh, and Durnik? So broken up over his first kill a few chapters back? STONE COLD. Like, he just has some guard by the head and KEEPS SMASHING IT AGAINST THE WALL. #Belgariad

There’s also some strange stuff where Garion and the others ask about Queen Salmissra, and Belgarath is all, “They’re all called Salmissra, and they’re all the same”. Which is a bit dismissive. #Belgariad

Though it's interesting, because more skeptical people treat Polgara & Belgarath like they holders of an office, that there's been dozens of them over the centuries. Which is the case for Salmissra (and sort of Korodullen & Maraserana as well.) Illusion of eternity. #Belgariad

They reach the capital city, and Belgarath decides he should have a word with the Emperor, since if things might turn into a war with the Angaraks, he wants the Tolnedrans at least informed, if not pledged to help out. #Belgariad

Of course, since Tolnedrans aren’t exactly “Yay, Belgarath!” he can’t just knock on the door, so they go see the Cherek Ambassador, who’s also Barak’s cousin. He gets them inside just fine. #Belgariad

(There’s a thing about him have had his beard cut off by the wife of the Nadrak ambassador, which seems to involve him getting drunk and going to bed with her. It’s character coloring, which is part of how this series became beloved.) #Belgariad

Also, Garion drinks half a beer. He doesn’t actually like it, but he drinks it anyway because PRINCIPLE. #Belgariad

They get brought to the Emperor who is all “Yeah, Belgarath and Polgara, whatever” and there’s the requisite “proving who we say we are” bit, which culminated in Polgara making his canary telling him to believe them. That does it. #Belgariad

So he listens well enough, but he’s also kind of, “I can solve this Alorn/Angarak situation diplomatically” and they’re like, Dude. No. That’s not going to do it. #Belgariad

And then who should enter but his daughter, Ce’Nedra, who’s incensed that she’s locked up in the palace. Which is for her safety: see above, re: killing and bribery. She does not like. Also, Garion is a bit shook by her. SHOOK. #Belgariad

She goes as quick as she came, and you’d be forgiven if you thought this was just another bit of character color. Though the Emperor is all “Hey, I’ll be cooperative if she doesn’t have to go to Riva to pretend to marry no one.” #Belgariad

Polgara is not having that. Ce’Nedra, like every other imperial princess, is going to go to Riva on her sixteenth birthday. No negotiations. And given how hard Eddings has been foreshadowing, I’m sure everyone has Done The Math already. #Belgariad

Speaking of negotiations, apparently a great trade deal with the Murgos was finalized. So the Murgo delegation comes in to thank the Emperor. And who’s at the front? Asharak the Murgo. The man has his fingers in all the pies. ALL THE PIES. #Belgariad

Oh, and along those lines, he’s also the Grolim called Chamdar, who Belgarath and Polgara are familiar with. I’m not sure why there was this dual identity thing for Asharak, but it’s kind of a waste of time, I think. #Belgariad

I wonder if Eddings originally planned them as two separate minor villains, and then decided to just combine them into one guy. #Belgariad

Anyway, he and Belgarath have an epic Passive Aggressive Snark Off, which delights the Emperor to no end. I mean, Belgarath (or Polgara) probably COULD just mop the floor with him, regardless of the “civility” of the situation. #Belgariad

But they instead are all, “Next time, man. Next time.” Which: hell yeah, next time. But even still, a lot of Belgarath’s problems in this series could probably be solved with direct action. But he prefers sneaking and being subtle. #Belgariad

I mean, say what you will about Asharak/Chamdar, but the man is efficient with his time management. Belgarath should respect that and step up his game. #Belgariad

So the party makes their way out of Tol Honeth, with one last example of political bloodsport, and, Belgarath doing a side quest to find the trail of the Orb (remember? The actual mission?) #Belgariad

There’s also a bit where Silk chats up a local prostitute/spy, and Durnik gets his mad on that, like, women who don’t share his values exist. Literally, “Why is she even allowed in the city?” Durnik, dude. Chill. We'll get into the whole Saucy Prude tone shortly. #Belgariad

As they leave the city they’re joined by a mysterious young noblewoman and her teacher. WHO COULD IT BE? Even Garion figures out it’s Ce’Nedra in, like, seconds, and he’s deeply dense about everything. #Belgariad

Belgarath is wondering why Polgara is letting Ce’Nedra and her teacher tag along, and she’s all, “I got this, dad, so let it go.” Belgarath is also amazed Garion’s figured it out. Because, well, see above. #Belgariad

Garion also Has Opinions about traveling with a stuck up, spoiled, Veruca Salt of a girl. I’m amazed, actually, that Ce’Nedra handles it as well as she does, honestly. And as they travel, she builds up these extraordinary lies about who she is. #Belgariad

So, when they reach Tol Borune, it comes to a head of Polgara being all, “We know, honey, so drop the act.” Silk and the others act surprised, and I wonder which of them actually are, and which are just being courteous. #Belgariad

Jeebers, Ce’Nedra’s teacher, is that stupid kind of smart that’s easily tricked. I love the bit where he realizes mid-sentence that Ce’Nedra played him. And then Barak gets his scream on at the girl. #Belgariad

Jeebers runs away, and Polgara is all, “Good, getting rid of him was the one thing I was worried about,” and the rest of the group is all “Huh?” Especially because Jeebers puts out the alarm when he gets to the city. #Belgariad

So the next bit of the journey is about dodging Imperial Patrols that are on the hunt for them all. Everyone who isn’t Polgara is all, “WHY are we harboring the Imperial Princess with us?” and she’s all “Reasons. Shut up.” #Belgariad

They reach the Wood of the Dryads, and there’s some explanation of the Dryad treaty and how Ce’Nedra is, in fact, a Dryad. Plus she’s not down with the term “monsters” from Belgarath. That’s monsterist, man. #Belgariad

Once they’re in the Wood of the Dryad, it’s time to relax a bit, and that means: Bath Time. Polgara sends Garion off to a waterfall/pond to have a bath, and once he’s there, she sends Ce’Nedra over to do the same. #Belgariad

It’s funny, because we’ve had a recurring theme of “girls throw themselves at Garion, he gets flustered, and Polgara freaks out”, and now it’s “Yeah, go bathe together.” Her change of tune is more foreshadowing with a sledgehammer. #Belgariad

Plus we learn that Tolnedra has no nudity taboo, but Sendaria definitely does, and Ce’Nedra is way too amused at making Garion uncomfortable. And I wonder about the divide in tone, and how that lines up to David and Leigh, respectively. #Belgariad

Like, when it comes to sexuality in these books, the fundamental tone is “saucily prudish”. Like, it’s fine with sexual teasing, particularly from female characters, but only in “proper” ways, if that makes sense. #Belgariad

The text fundamentally approves of it here, with Ce’Nedra to Garion, because they are Destined. And the whole “Lady says daring thing, man blushes” dynamic as a whole— I wonder if that was fundamentally Leigh and David and their interaction. #Belgariad

But the text will also slut-shame the hell out of any woman— or women from a culture— who venture outside of that Saucy Prude mode, and outside their Heteronormative Pairing of Destiny. #Belgariad

(And that will definitely get revisited again and again, especially when we get to Nadrak women.) #Belgariad

Anyway, Ce’Nedra asks Garion if he would want to kiss her, but Durnik calls for them, effectively cockblocking the whole scene. Garion, of course, is quite put out by Durnik right now. Not on, Durnik. Not on. #Belgariad

Back to the #Belgariad re-read: Garion is annoyed that Durnik interrupted a “moment” between him and Ce’Nedra, and Durnik CLEARLY knows that that is exactly what he did. He tells them it’s time to get back to camp.

But getting back to camp gets interrupted by MUDMEN ATTACK. The mudmen are quite scary, in that stabbing them does nothing, and slicing off limbs just gets you disembodied limbs moving on their own. #Belgariad

Garion protects Ce’Nedra and gets her back to everyone else, but they get separated from Durnik in the process. The rest of the warriors arm up and move in, Garion grabbing his sword to go with them, but Swords vs. Mudmen is not a fair fight. #Belgariad

Deeply, deeply unfair, and Mandorallen is kind of spooked that there are things he can’t beat up. Fortunately, Belgarath and Pol bring some magical fire and rain, washing Mudmen away, leaving… a snake? #Belgariad

Pol questions the snake, as you do, who is all “Queen Salmissra will blah blah…” but it doesn’t matter because Polgara is just not having it. But she lets the snake go so it can tell Salmissra to back the hell off. #Belgariad

There’s still the hanging question: But what happened to Durnik? Did he get killed by the mudmen? Nope, he did the eminently sensible thing when facing an unkillable enemy: climb up a tree and wait. #Belgariad

Next Garion gets “captured” but the Dryads, who want to kill him or mate with him or possibly both, until they find the rest of the group and Polgara and Ce’Nedra are all “No, we kind of need him intact.” #Belgariad

The Dryads are ALL OVER Belgarath because he has sweets and stories, which the Dryads will trade for kisses. Belgarath knows what his goods are worth, is what I’m saying, because he NEGOTIATES. Polgara is disgusted by it. #Belgariad

Though I think it’s less about moralizing and more “Ew, Dad, Gross.” #Belgariad

They go to the Dryad Queen and tell her what’s up with the theft of the Orb and Zedar coming this way. And she’s all “Oh, he went through here last week with a little boy.” So much for the Dryads being all protective of their woods, you know? #Belgariad

But: Little Boy— how Zedar stole the Orb, apparently. Because someone has to have no ill intent in their hearts, so: innocence of a child.
I think the Eddings had no children, I’m just saying.
#Belgariad

(I mean, really, kids having no ill intent? Please. I’ve worked with kids. They so do. And if you’ve read Lady Heanterman’s Wardrobe, Tarvis and Jede were inspired by reality. That’s all I’ll say.) #Belgariad

So, now that they are with the Queen of the Dryads, Ce’Nedra is all, “I can stay here and not have to go to Riva.” Both Queen Xantha and Polgara shoot that down SO HARD it leaves Ce’Nedra in tears. That’s destiny, girl. #Belgariad

Since Zedar went through the swampy jungles of Nyissa, Belgarath decides the best plan is for him and Silk to follow the trail alone, and everyone else to catch a boat and meet them in the challenging-to-pronounce Sthiss Tor. #Belgariad

Also: Mandorallen is BEYOND SHOOK by the whole Mudmen thing. Like, it was the first time he EVER was afraid, and now that he’s felt it, he’s convinced that he’s just a coward and will fail them when the time comes. #Belgariad

As they go to meet the ship (with Dryad escort), and almost immediately are set upon by a Tolnedran Legion led by Grand Duke Kador. But the Dryads will… slip off into the woods? For real, Dryads? #Belgariad

I never noticed before how the Dryads just straight up abandoned our heroes when the legion showed up. Not on, Dryads. #Belgariad

Mandorallen, though, is READY to prove he’s no coward and is going to fight THE ENTIRE LEGION (“Thy soldiers are but blades of grass before me”) before Asharak/Chamdar shows up and changes the game. #Belgariad

He’s all “I knew Belgarath would leave and that’s what I was waiting for” and he claims he’s got his hand around Garion’s heart so Polgara better not try a damn thing. And for emphasis, he slaps her. IN THE FACE. #Belgariad

The soldiers grab everyone else, except Garion, who is all “YOU SLAPPED AUNT POL IN THE FACE” and he’s ready to carve himself up some Asharak. #Belgariad

But the Dry Voice in his head (which up until now has more been presented as a manifestation of his conscience rather than an independent voice with dialogue) is all “No, do it this way.” And by “this way” we mean sorcery. #Belgariad

SLAP. BURN.
It’s an immensely satisfying sequence, as everyone is freaked by Asharak catching fire, and Polgara telepathically pushing Garion to keep it up, including telling him Asharak killed his parents. #Belgariad

It’s not as satisfying for Garion, even though Pol is mentally praising him as “My Belgarion!” Like, it’s a weird moment for pride, Pol. Garion is distraught, Durnik is freaked, and that’s where we end the Tolnedra section. #Belgariad

Starting with Nyissa— which is just the worst— we get a whole lot of Aunt Pol also being just THE WORST. Like, absolutely awful amounts of Tough Love on Garion here. He’s freaking out, Durnik thinks he’s a monster, and she’s terrible. #Belgariad

Like, zero pedagogy at all here. I find it hard to believe that she’s been raising children for CENTURIES and yet thinks her “Well, get used to it, kid” approach to Garion’s crisis is at all useful. #Belgariad

I mean, they’re on a boat from the Dryad Woods to Sthiss Tor, over a week, and it would be a prime time to really dig deep and have her talk about what’s going on with Garion, magic, and everything else in a frank but caring way. #Belgariad

But: NOPE. She opts for snark and passive aggressive “stop feeling sorry for yourself” garbage and SURPRISE it further alienates Garion. So instead he spends the boat ride learning to read with Ce’Nedra as his teacher. #Belgariad

The heat and humidity and insect life of Nyissa is oppressive, and the river is deadly, and it’s bad all around. So much so Ce’Nedra has a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it moment of sickness from the heat. #Belgariad

(For real, I read the bit about "Ce'Nedra had recovered" and had to go back and find the bit where it mentioned she got sick.) #Belgariad

They dock at a Drasnian Enclave in Sthiss Tor, and go to check in with the Drasnian Ambassador to see if there’s been any word from Belgarath or Silk. Quick answer: no. Because messages don’t do well in Nyissa because THE WORST. #Belgariad

Like, the walk through the city is full of drugged out people and oppressed slaves and women being mostly naked and it’s like THE MOST DECADENT CITY EVER. But to the point of nothing gets done reliably. #Belgariad

So, #worldbuilding hat time: Where’s the infrastructure in Nyissa? There’s one city (and a bunch of ruins), almost no roads, a DEADLY river, and deadly swampland everywhere. How does the city even survive? #Belgariad

Like, what do they eat in Nyissa? Where do they grow it, and who does? What does the "average" Nyissan do? Why is the Nyissan Slave Trade profitable when they don’t seem to have a functional economy besides “make drugs and poisons”? #Belgariad

But they sure do have a slave trade, which we see when a ship comes in to the docks (from where?) to sell some slaves to some Murgos. Everyone watches from the boat, disgusted. Mandorallen is extra disgusted as some of the slaves are Arendish serfs. #Belgariad

The whole “you all don’t treat serfs much better” stuff kind of washes over him, as he believes that actually selling your serfs into slavery is beyond the pale. Then: one slave escapes! He jumps into the river! #Belgariad

The river, though, is full of poisonous leeches. He starts to get chomped, but Garion magic-zaps him from the water to the dock on the Drasnian Enclave. Then the Murgo and his boys start a swagger-off with our warriors about their rights to the slave. #Belgariad

Before a fight can start, Polgara steps in and puts a stop to it, including stopping the Murgo-Grolim from pulling any magical shenanigans. The Murgos leave, and Polgara tears into everyone, especially Garion. #Belgariad

(Sidebar: have they encountered a single Murgo who wasn’t a Grolim? It seems not. Plus, for sorcery being so rare, Grolims with the gift seem to be a dime a dozen.) #Belgariad

Anyway, Pol screams at Garion for being so stupid and doing messy magic and now every Grolim in Sthiss Tor know that they are there and it was pointless because the slave was dead anyway and how could he be so stupid? #Belgariad

Finally Garion just snaps, as HE DAMN WELL SHOULD. He tears into Polgara about how she’s clearly dead inside from living so long, and he doesn’t want anything to do with her ever again. #Belgariad

She does not take this well. She screams about all the sacrifices, poverty, loss-of-her-sister that she’s suffered, ALL FOR HIM. And that last bit is interesting, because it’s filled with resentment about Beldaran marrying Riva and growing old. #Belgariad

And she clearly projects all that onto Garion. Everyone is kind of stunned into silence by this whole explosion between the two of them. But I can’t help but feel like she’s been so horrible to him, I don’t feel a whiff of sympathy here. #Belgariad

When word from Belgarath reaches the Drasnian embassy, Polgara and every named character who isn’t Garion or Ce’Nedra leave the ship. They tear into each other, with Ce’Nedra being all “How dare you?” to him about Polgara, and she’s pretty off base. #Belgariad

What’s fascinating is how she presumes to speak for “everyone”, and I wonder how much that really is the case. Were Barak and Hettar horrified by Garion, or do they kind of agree with him? We never really know, do we? #Belgariad

And we won't for a bit, because after fighting with Ce'Nedra, Garion goes to pout on the deck of the ship, and then he gets kidnapped. Uh-oh! #Belgariad

GARION IS DRUGGED AND KIDNAPPED. Right now he’s semi-awake, being dragged to the palace by Issus and two other mooks. I kind of love Issus, minor character that he is, because he comes off as the only Nyissan with common sense. #Belgariad

Like, he and his guys are also selling slaves? And the other two are all “who’s letting those slaves beg for water?” and he’s all “Give the damn slave some water.” #Belgariad

Not because he’s nice to slaves but he at least understands a dehydrated slave is useless. He’s a fundamentally evil man, but when just about everyone else is evil AND stupid about it, he becomes the one-eyed king. #Belgariad

Garion is brought to Sadi, the queen’s Chief Eunuch, who drugs Garion further to question him and get the truth out him. Garion, hopped up on the junk, tells Sadi everything. #Belgariad

The Nyissan government is entirely run by eunuchs. Nyissa is such a messed up country that the only way anyone can be expected to get anything done is if they’ve been castrated. Otherwise they’re too distracted ALL THE TIME. #Belgariad

Like, at some point in their history someone was all, "Can you all, like, stop banging the queen and just do your jobs?" "Nope." "FINE. ONLY ONE SOLUTION." #Belgariad

We come to Queen Salmissra, who is pretty much on the throne naked, with her boy toy lounging right there. And her crowd of eunuchs, who have this whole call-and-response thing going on. Which is kind of lame. #Belgariad

One half of the room gets “The Queen has visitors!” and the other half just “Ah, visitors”. Like, really, Eddings? That was the best you had there? #Belgariad

Queen Salmissra is one of the few people who get a skin color description at all, which is “chalk white”. And… is that her skin? Is it make-up? Is that common or uncommon for Nyissans? We are never told these things. #Belgariad

The Queen is all “Ooh, Garion is a pretty boy” and has him stripped, bathed, perfumed and made up, and also drugged out of his fricking gourd. And Garion’s head is so spun he’s just “whatever you say, pretty lady”. #Belgariad

But the “dry voice” in his head becomes an active participant now, telling Garion to stay calm and follow his lead and so forth, guiding him through this blissed-out situation. #Belgariad

Salmissra’s boy toy gets all mad that she’s paying attention to Garion, so she has a spring-loaded snake in her throne to kill him with. That’s a fabulous feature more monarchs should employ. #Belgariad

PLUS she’s got Maas, her close advisor, who just IS A SNAKE. That talks, like it's no big deal. And, like, this is sort of a strange worldbuilding choice going on here. Because “talking animals” is not otherwise a feature of the world. #Belgariad

I mean, you have birds and wolves that Garion or Polgara or such talk to later on, but usually when they are AS birds or wolves. Like, it’s their own culture that is totally separate. But in Nyissa? Talking snake, part of the government. No big. #Belgariad

And, I mean, Tolnedra borders Nyissa, and they’re all “We have to be sensible and not believe in magic and stuff” when, like, the chief of staff of the government of the nation to the south IS A SNAKE. #Belgariad

You have to imagine some of the diplomatic letters in the Tolnedran archives.
"Dear Emperor,
I am currently in trade negotiations with a snake.
WHY!?!?!?!
May I please come home?
Yours,
Lord Marada Borune
Ambassador to Nyissa."

And can we talk about Nyissa and snakes? Like, they are ALL IN on that as part of their culture. I mean, in Arendia or Tolnedra, you wouldn’t even know that Chamdar and Nedra are the Bull-God and Lion-God, respectively. #Belgariad

But in Nyissa? They’re all “Issa the Snake-God” and RAN WITH THAT until there was nowhere left to run and then ran all the way back. Every other word they say is prefaced with “snake” or “serpent”. #Belgariad

ANYWAY, Maas The Snake gets killed trying to take Garion’s Sorcerer Amulet, so, that’s that. #Belgariad

Also, Salmissra tries to cut a deal with the Murgo emissary (the same slave-buying Grolim from earlier) that she’ll trade Garion for becoming Torak’s queen, so he can make her actually immortal. #Belgariad

(She’s not the original Eternal Salmissra, but just someone chosen due to her resemblance to the original Salmissra, who was Issa’s beloved, but Issa forgot to make immortal. Whoops. THIS Salmissra wants the Real Deal.) #Belgariad

Anyway, disaster strikes in that the sun has become blotted out and the sky is black and people are in a complete panic, so for a bit Salmissra isn’t focused on Garion. That gives the Dry Voice time to pull Garion out of his body so they can get Polgara. #Belgariad

Polgara is elsewhere in the palace with Barak, in full BEAR ATTACK MODE, and they are TEARING THE PLACE UP. The Dry Voice calls Polgara and guides them to Garion, and Garion & DV get back in his body.

There’s stuff with the Dry Voice here and now that… doesn’t quite line up with what it’s revealed to be later. I’ll get into that more later. But I’ll just say right now it’s far too active, far too much a *person*, to match what it is supposed to be. #Belgariad

ESPECIALLY the bit where Salmissra reveals what she wants and its all, "Ohhh, that's what she wants." Like.... why didn't you know? But that's a thing for the next book. Got to space my rants. #Belgariad

Salmissra isn’t going to give up Garion easily, so she literally breaks out the big guns, summoning the spirit of Issa into a statue of him. And… if she could do that why didn’t she do that ages ago and be all, “Hey, about that immortality?” #Belgariad

Polgara grows GIANT SIZED to stand-off with Issa, but she doesn’t really need the height, as she’s all “Dude, we’re doing important things and your girl is messing it up.” Issa resurrects Maas temporarily to get the truth. #Belgariad

Maas is not down with being brought back from the dead, and Issa lets him go again once he gets the answer, namely that this ain’t the real Salmissra and she was ready to marry Torak. #Belgariad

Issa should be in the running for Worst God Ever in that he didn't even realize that this lady isn't HIS Salmissra and that his Salmissra is long dead because he never made her immortal. He's all "looks like her". Shallow god for a shallow people. #Belgariad

Issa is all “I’m out then”, but before he goes he’s all “I can’t stay because that would rouse Torak and that would be bad. Give my love to my brother Aldur.” And I have SO MANY THEOLOGICAL QUESTIONS. #Belgariad

Like, clearly Issa is “Aldur Good, Torak Bad”, so it’s not like he’s particularly neutral in this battle. Disengaged, but taking a side. So why are the Nyissans on the neutral-to-bad side here? #Belgariad

Anyway, Polgara is all “You want to be an immortal? Fine.” and makes Salmissra into an immortal giant snake. And that’s pretty horrifying, at least to Garion. #Belgariad

They make their escape back to the ship, and the sky is black and ash is falling and the whole city is in chaos. They have to fight their way through the crowd to get to the ship, but they make it. #Belgariad

At one point a Nyissan tries to buy his way on the ship, and Greldik and his men beat the guys senseless, take his purse and call him a baboon. Yay heroes? #Belgariad

Also: Baboon. I feel like there’s a racial coding there that’s OH SO WRONG. I wonder if Eddings didn’t tell us skin colors ever so they could skate by on a technically. But: shady, Eddings. Shady. #Belgariad.

Garion gets himself cleaned up and Polgara is on the verge of a serious conversation with empathy, but she’s not there yet. Even the dry voice is just all, “Forget it, I’ll have Belgarath talk to him.” #Belgariad

(It's framed like Garion's not ready to listen or something, but, let's be real: Polgara just isn't good at these kinds of talks. AT ALL.) #Belgariad

But oh no! Barak is going to kill himself over the whole “turns into a bear thing”. Now, here Polgara could, again, just have an honest, private conversation with Barak about the whole bear thing. But, nope. Not her way. #Belgariad

Instead she goes for snark and shame, basically being all, “You’ve made arrangements for your body, or are you just leaving that to us? Should we send your sword to your son?” And Barak is all “I don’t have a son.” #Belgariad

Polgara is then, “Oh, did I forget to mention that sort-of-rapey bit back in the last book means your wife is pregnant with a son? Oh, silly me.” Barak is all “I will have a son!” and that snaps him out of his suicide plan. #Belgariad

Barak, apparently, doesn’t like his daughters very much. #Belgariad

Ce’Nedra goes to Garion and has kind of a sensible conversation with him about sorcery and power. He’s all “I didn’t ask to be a sorcerer” and she’s “and I didn’t ask to be a princess, but we are, and we have to be responsible with that.” #Belgariad

And he’s all “but with my power people could die” and she counters, “Same, dude, if I chose to abuse it.” And that gets through to him a bit. Then she asks about his adventure and he says Salmissra was the most beautiful woman ever. #Belgariad

BAD MOVE. She runs off in tears. It’s literally, “Was she really as pretty as they say?” “Yes.” “I HATE YOU GARION!” and run off. Really, Eddings? Leigh signed off on this bit? #Belgariad

Belgarath and Silk return, reporting that Zedar got into Cthol Murgos but Ctuchik took the Orb from him. So that’s the situation. Plus Belgarath has a broken arm. #Belgariad

He broke it because a tree fell on him, which Silk finds oddly hilarious. I’m not sure what this all is about, but this whole section has talked about how utterly dangerous Nyissa is, so getting through it with only a broken arm is downright lucky. #Belgariad

And that’s the strange note this book ends on: Silk cracking up over Belgarath breaking his arm. Here ends QUEEN OF SORCERY. We’ll pick up with MAGICIAN’S GAMBIT on Monday! #Belgariad

We’re back with The #Belgariad, with Book Three: Magician’s Gambit, and that means another prologue. This one gives us the myth of the strange god UL, the people who were godless, and Gorim, who persuaded UL to be the god to his people.

This is a nice bit of mythic storytelling, telling us who UL is (a god who isn’t one of the seven gods), and why there’s plenty of messed up stuff in the world (the seven gods were young and inexperienced and made messy stuff). #Belgariad

So the prologue is mostly about the Ulgos, but it makes sure to name-drop Belgarath so you know it’s not completely tangential to the rest of the story. #Belgariad

The book proper starts with at POV switch: we’re now in Ce’Nedra’s head, as we re-establish the particulars: they’re on the ship, heading upstream in Nyissa while Ce’Nedra recounts who she’s with and what they’re doing. #Belgariad

She’s still pretty salty about being told she’ll have to go to Riva, but she also totally believes Pol’s threat of “drag you there in chains”. And she’s annoyed that she’s likes Garion as much as she does, because he’s so ordinary. #Belgariad

I do find it fascinating, with all she’s seen, the POV of Ce’Nedra is still incredulous, specifically about Belgarath. But they at last steer it in the direction away from “she doesn’t believe” to “she doesn’t know how to place sorcerers into a hierarchy”. #Belgariad

And, for Ce’Nedra, who you outrank is Very Important Business. #Belgariad

Belgarath lays out the new stakes: The Orb has crossed into Cthol Murgos, but Ctuchik took it from Zedar. But that’s got to wait, as Aldur wants all of them to go to the Vale pronto. So that’s the plan now! #Belgariad

Also we get the first instance of, “So we’re going to go this way, because we certainly don’t want to cut through Maragor!” #Belgariad

Ce’Nedra decides for the next part of the journey to hang around Mandorallen, because as the only other person who’s not Alorn or Alorn-adjacent, she at least thinks she can talk to him and figure out where Belgarath and Garion stand in society. #Belgariad

Mandorallen is all, “No, for real, those guys are beyond rank and status.” Which takes a bit for Ce’Nedra to grasp, especially in terms of Garion. But it at least she’s beginning to accept that Garion is Special. #Belgariad

But while Mandorallen and Ce’Nedra are waiting for everyone else to catch up (they were riding up front), a LION jumps out of the bushes and starts going for Ce’Nedra. Mandorallen gets himself in there and WRESTLES THE LION. #Belgariad

Like, sure, he’s in armor, but still: wrestles a lion and wins. This becomes a moment where Ce’Nedra knights him as HER knight, and it has a whole resonance like this is a prophetic thing that needs to come together. #Belgariad

But… if memory serves, this is another one of those things that doesn’t really have a payoff. Like, he’s the Knight Protector and HER knight and that amounts to… what, in the long term? #Belgariad

I feel like Eddings intended for Mandorallen to be to Ce’Nedra what Barak is for Garion, but then they never really got around to having him protect her as a plot point, except right here and now. #Belgariad

There’s a bit in The Rivan Codex where Eddings talks about needing the warriors who do the fighting until Garion is able to do it himself, and that’s what Barak, Lelldorin, Hettar and Mandorallen all represent. #Belgariad

But that means they get a bunch of set-up early on and then little to do later. Which does hurt the Everything Is The Prophecy nature of the plot. These guys are prophecized to do… what, exactly? #Belgariad

Anyway, for the rest of the bit, Ce’Nedra is having Mandorallen dote on her, which he does, but mostly so Garion will see it and get pissed off. Which he does. #Belgariad

Then Durnik is all, “Cut it out”, which is shocking because Durnik hasn’t spoken directly to Her Imperial Highness at all until now. And he cuts to the truth with her that she likes Garion and games like this will just hurt him. #Belgariad

But then she cuts to the truth, that she’s not free to fall in love with whoever she would want to, since her marriage is going to be political, and she lets herself be heartbroken with Durnik, which is a sweet moment. #Belgariad

Back to Garion’s POV! They’re working their way around the Maragor part of Tolnedra— because they certainly aren’t going to cut through Maragor!— but once again there’s Murgos and Grolim all around. Including Brill! #Belgariad

Now, Silk is all “Oh, I should have realized about Brill” in that Brill is really this super-assassin from this Murgo super-assassin group who fight unarmed and have special throwing… throwing stars, they’re throwing stars. #Belgariad

So, yeah, another bit of Murgos being Not-Asians. Raised eyebrow, Eddings.
Plus Brill is a Murgo, but looks Sendarian, because… reasons? It’s not clear. But NOW Silk realizes that Brill is Something More. I wonder if that was always the plan. #Belgariad

I mean, like, in Pawn, Brill is just this guy, who Durnik takes out by hitting him with a 2x4 and ties up. But now he’s really a Master Assassin? Or did Eddings realize they needed a Master Assassin to be Silk’s adversary? #Belgariad

So rather than cook up a brand new character, they just shove Brill into that role, even though it doesn’t quite fit. I mean, it works fine enough, but definitely feels like a retcon of Brill. #Belgariad

(What I’m saying is, the series definitely feels like it was written one book at a time, publishing as they went, so they retconned things committed to in Pawn and Queen that they changed or course-corrected from as they went on.) #Belgariad

Anyway, All The Murgos in the area makes Belgararth get kind of frustrated, that it’s going to be slow going with dodging Murgos and going up around the mountains, and so, even though they said they didn’t want to, there’s only one choice: Cut Through Maragor. #Belgariad

But they kept saying how they weren't going to do that! Because of the ghosts and the badness! But, nope, that's the only choice. #Belgariad

No one is too thrilled with this plan, but they gotta do what they gotta do (and Travelogue’s Gotta Travelogue). So into Maragor they go. #Belgariad

There’s one last game of Dodge The Murgos on the outskirts of Maragor (where desperate gold hunters encamp to try to get some gold despite The Ghosts). There’s also a Drasnian spy who Silk chats with, who’s there for… reasons? #Belgariad

Like, why would there be a spy stationed in this backwoods nothing place? Just the Drasnian Intelligence being thorough? Is it a punishment detail? It doesn’t seem a valuable place for a spy. #Belgariad

They get into Maragor Proper, where Belgarath and Polgara work their scheme: namely to put everyone else into a kind of walking-sleep, because the ghosts in Maragor don’t so much hurt you as muck with your head. #Belgariad

If you’re not awake, they can’t do anything to you. So they do the magic and put everyone into a walking trance, and into Maragor they go! #Belgariad

So, it turns out the Put Everyone To Sleep magic didn’t QUITE work on Garion. He’s still awake, but in a low-key, chill state. The “emotional” side of him is asleep, so the Dry Voice decides now is a good time to get that Big Talk in. #Belgariad

And my problem here, same with the earlier “attempts” with Belgarath and Polgara, is that no one did actually try to explain things to him. They just were all “Nope, he can’t handle this conversation!” without really getting into things. #Belgariad

But since he’s “calm” now, the Voice decides he can handle it. So we finally get down to the brass tacks of The Big Plot. #Belgariad

The Voice lays down the particulars pretty plainly: The Universe was supposed to go a certain way, and then an accident happened that split its purpose into two destinies, and Garion is the vessel that the purpose is using to fix things. #Belgariad

The analogy of throwing a stone, and it going off course, and throwing a second stone to knock the first one back on course is pretty good. #Belgariad

One thing about this whole conversation, and how it sets Garion up as THE VESSEL of the Purpose of the Universe to fix things? Is it really lays down the “this is it, this is THE MOMENT” stuff which makes the Malloreon… awkward. #Belgariad

Like, I don’t begrudge the Eddings their sequel— and we’ll get into that— but they REALLY did not set this up in a way that provided a sequel path. Not quite Highlander levels of Really Not An Option, but close. #Belgariad

So, yes, the Malloreon is fundamentally better than Highlander 2: The Quickening. Take that for all its faint praised damnation you want. #Belgariad

But while we’re here: Maragor! It’s ruins are filled with angry ghosts, who try to mess with the heads of anyone who comes in there to get all the gold! No one gets the gold, and the ghosts really try to be gross. #Belgariad

The descriptions are all nicely gory and horrifying in a Thirteen Ghosts sort of way. I really quite like it. Garion gets a bit sick but can cope, because his feelings are all tamped down. #Belgariad

In the meantime, he listens to Polgara and Belgarath talk about Maragor and what a shame it all is that they were destroyed. Though Polgara is very, very judgmental about the Marags. #Belgariad

Like, you definitely get the impression that this is the first time she ever set foot in Maragor, certainly never came while they were alive, but She Has Opinions about them. Judgey opinions. #Belgariad

For example, they were a matriarchal society with an eight-to-one female-to-male ratio. Which meant that traditional monogamous marriage was not their bag. Polgara Does Not Approve. #Belgariad

There's also a bit where Garion notices the streets of Mar Amon are spirals to the center, which he thinks seems right, as men think in straight lines and women think in circles. And... that seems like sexist gender absolutism bullshit, yes? Yes. Side eye, Eddings. #Belgariad

There’s also the cannibalism thing, which Belgarath waves off more as a minor religious observance born from misreading a sacred text, and not a thing where they were like, People, That’s Good Eating. #Belgariad

In essence: the cannibalism was just a convenient excuse for the Tolnedrans to justify invading the gold-filled Maragor. But now no one has the gold. #Belgariad

And, let’s dig into some worldbuilding, theological questions. Because, you know, active, present gods. Like, why didn’t Mara say to his people, “Whoa, appreciate the enthusiasm, but let’s drop the ritual cannibalism. I’m not down with that.” #Belgariad

But also why was he all, “Hey, here is your tiny, tiny promised land, my people. Filled with gold, and right next to the greedy, aggressive Tolnedrans.” #Belgariad

(And why did Nedra go, “Yeah, I like you all being greedy, but I want you to work for it. So I’ll put you guys NEAR the guys with gold, and see how that works out.”) #Belgariad

Speaking of Mara, the Weeping God of the Marags, he’s here! In the city, crying his holy eyes out over his dead people. Belgarath decides he should try to talk to the god, even though it won’t be helpful. #Belgariad

Spoiler: It’s not helpful. Mara ain’t listening, because his grief is everything for him. And… he’s a God? Like, presuming that actually resurrecting the Marags is against the rules, can’t he just make MORE Marags? Or is that just not the point? #Belgariad

More “I have questions”: Issa only showed up in spirit, and was all “I shouldn’t stay, lest I wake Torak”, but Mara is just here, screaming his fool head off 24/7. But waking Torak isn’t a concern? Actually, Mara explicitly says he doesn’t care, so: maybe? #Belgariad

What he DOES care about is realizing that Ce’Nedra is in the group, and boy does he want to tear her into little pieces and make her suffer. I wonder why he doesn’t grab one from that gold hunter camp a few miles away, but… that’s his way. #Belgariad

Garion, empowered by the Voice, gets in Mara’s way, making it clear that NO, Mara isn’t going to touch Ce’Nedra or anyone else, and he needs to pull himself together. Because, like, you’re a God, man. It’s embarrassing. #Belgariad

(And you have to wonder, wherever the other Gods are right now, what’s the deal between Nedra and Mara right now? Tell me that’s not an awkward family reunion.) #Belgariad

I'm just saying, this series focuses most of its theological weight on the Aldur-Torak-Belar dynamic, but I think there’s a whole Mara/Nedra thing that deserved the deeper dive. Throw Issa in that mix as well. #Belgariad

But, like, Mara is totally the short straw god all around. I mean, look at the map! Alorns and Angaraks have ENORMOUS areas of land. Arends, Tolnedrans and Nyissans, medium sized countries. Maragor, like, is Belguim in comparison. #Belgariad

Anyway, Mara runs off to cry, and Belgarath and Polgara are all “What the heck was that, Garion?” and he’s “Umm, I’ve got the purpose of the universe in my head?” Which is all the answer they’re going to get right now. #Belgariad

So now that that’s handled, Polgara does the sleep spell on Garion again, and this time it’s for real, and that’s the end of the Maragor section! Into the Vale of Aldur next! #Belgariad

So, we start the Vale of Aldur section with everyone waking up from the Maragor Trance. There’s a bit of disorientation of “been asleep for a week and travelled a few hundred miles”, especially for Silk, but they get past that. #Belgariad

One new situation: one of the horses is pregnant. Hettar presents this as news, so I guess the horses were pretty bored in Maragor. #Belgariad

The next situation is that they’re out of Maragor, but not OUT of Maragor, in that there’s another gold-squatter camp they’ve got to get past, and they no one will believe they just went through Maragor and didn’t come out with a bunch of gold. #Belgariad

So Silk makes some fake gold bundles with rocks, and after having Mandorallen run down some of the thieves, he’s all, “Hey, I’ll give you a few of these and we’ll be on our way, OR we could fight over them.” And the thieves choose the No Fighting option. #Belgariad

I mean, it’s a clever trick, but at the same time, it’s a couple dozen scrappy, hungry punks with knives, versus MANDORALLEN, the greatest knight on life. (Not to mention Barak, Hettar, and two of the most powerful sorcerers in the world.) #Belgariad

I mean, Mandorallen could obliterate them all without breaking a sweat.
Because he doesn't sweat, he SHINES.
#Belgariad

It’s pretty clear that Silk is very much the character Eddings loves writing the most, and that’s cool, I get the favoritism, but I do feel the narrative twists itself a bit to give us Silk Solutions to Mandorallen Problems, if you get me. #Belgariad

And, let’s be honest, it’s not like Silk’s Ambar or Radek schemes have done anything to stop the Murgos or Grolims from finding them, so it feels like those ruses were more to give Silk something to do, rather than bring value to their travels. #Belgariad

They get out of Maragor and are crossing the mountains to get to the vale, and there’s another bit where they encounter Brill and some Murgos who are stalking them— Brill, mind you, made it to the same place without crossing Maragor. #Belgariad

This encounter has a ravine between them, so no fighting, just threats and posturing. Plus Silk calls Brill by the name “Kordoch” and they both seem to know everything about each other now. Even though Silk’s had no new information since last time we saw Brill. #Belgariad

This supports my theory that the original plan was to have Brill and Kordoch be two distinct characters, and then Eddings decided that was one Level Boss too many and combined them. #Belgariad

As they continue through the mountains, the snow and wind get to be too much, and Pregnant Horse isn’t going to be able to go much longer. I feel like time is passing a bit fast here. Hettar said she had a month. #Belgariad

Garion, out of the blue, says, “What about the cave?” and leads them to a cave that he totally knows is there. And it’s a strange bit for being in his POV, because it has him know a thing that he doesn’t know that he knows. #Belgariad

It tries to have it both ways, and presents it as a mystery, this thing that Garion “always knew” but didn’t know. It’s not clear why he would know this, or need to know this, except maybe for this exact moment. #Belgariad

And maybe that’s enough, but it feels a little too hand-of-the-author here. Which is saying something, because “hand of the author” is not a subtle thing in this series. #Belgariad

Anyway, the Cave, it turns out, is the hall where the Gods used to meet when they were making the world so they could compare notes and make everything fit together in a ordered, sensible way. Which I guess they mostly did? #Belgariad

But even still, you have to imagine it going:
ISSA: So we’re all making our totem animals talk, right?
MARA: I don’t have a totem animal. I’m just ‘weeping’.
NEDRA: I’m going to give you something to weep about.
ISSA: Well, my snakes talk.
BELAR: Usdamnit, you guys.
#Belgariad

The whole bit has a neat balance of “this is very fascinating and blessed” and “we maybe shouldn’t be here and DON’T TOUCH ANYTHING, OK?” But the mare is giving birth, now, so the people who are useful for that problem get to work. #Belgariad

“Useful” is Polgara, Hettar and Durnik, and Pol puts Ce’Nedra to work. Everyone else stands around like idiots. Madorallen decides now is the moment to bring up “I’ve experienced fear and therefore you all hate me now so I’ll go away forever”. #Belgariad

Durnik does not say, “For fuck’s sake, Mandorallen”, but mostly because he’s too polite for that. Instead he’s all, “Yeah, I know what fear is. We all do. We just cope. Laugh at the fear.” Mandorallen thinks this is deeply wise counsel. #Belgariad

The horse birth does not go well, and the mother barely makes it, and the foal does not. Ce’Nedra is devastated, and pleads with Garion to do something. Garion, beautiful fool that he is, does something. #Belgariad

While Polgara and Belgarath are busy losing their minds over it, Garion just does the impossible and sorceries the horse back to life. Pol and Belgarath are all, “Dude, that was impossible.” But he did it. Everyone else is suitably stunned. #Belgariad

They leave the cave once the weather clears, and Garion and Belgarath have a bit of a talk about what sorcery can do (and importantly, CAN’T, which is hung up in the Chekhov’s Armory) and Garion is all, “OK, I guess I do need to learn it.” #Belgariad

Then Ce’Nedra comes up just spoiling for a fight for some reason. She flat-out says “I don’t believe in sorcery” and Garion is all, “Yeah, that’s just bait”, and is all, “So you want to fight, then?” It degrades from there. #Belgariad

They get to the Vale, and Ce’Nedra goes crazy for the Ancient Tree, and we get a little backstory on the lost Disciples of Aldur, Belsambar and Belmakor, who I feel are only there to show that Sometimes Sorcerers Give Up. #Belgariad

This is one of those moments where I feel like Belgarath has a need to make things sound more complicated than they actually are, but not in a useful, explanatory way. Like, he says they didn’t just kill themselves, but something “more” complete than that. #Belgariad

But, like, what do you even mean by that? And how does it matter? I think Belgarath wants to be the guy who’s always, “No, you don’t get it” when the other person TOTALLY gets it and it isn’t really that hard to get in the first place. #Belgariad

I mean, yeah, Belgarath is 7000 years old, he's been everywhere and studied a lot of things, but: Not that smart. And he's totally that guy who is desperately masking the fact that he's not smart by trying to sound smart about things he doesn't understand.

He and Garion go to his tower and talk a bit more, mostly about how Garion gets the hard concepts pretty easily but doesn’t get the easy ones, but I think that’s just because they never really explain things to him and are mad he doesn’t get it. #Belgariad

Like, he goes back to Aunt Pol all, “I’m sorry I’ve been so difficult” and she’s “Yes, you have been, glad you see that now.” But let’s be real: neither Belgarath or Polgara have really been trying very hard to explain things to Garion. #Belgariad

Almost every conversation has been like:
POLGARA: You have to stop being an idiot.
GARION: But you haven’t explained—
POLGARA: See, he doesn’t listen! I tried! (Walks away.)
#Belgariad

Next, we get Aldur himself showing up, giving his blessing to the party. And they, you know, are suitably impressed. Not every day a God shows up and blesses you, even if it isn’t *your* God. #Belgariad

Though my favorite bit in that his how Barak reacts to meeting Aldur, by swearing in using Belar’s name. There’s a fascinating bit of theology and profanity buried in there. #Belgariad

Aldur takes off with Belgarath and Polgara, to brief them on What To Do Next, and everyone else decides it’s time to just chill and do their own thing. Ce’Nedra’s Own Thing is expecting Garion to do the dishes. Garion declines, and takes off. #Belgariad

He goes to the rock that Belgarath first used magic on, and decides to try to move it himself. This is Garion’s first conscience, intentional “I’m gonna do some sorcery” moment, and of course: he messes it up. #Belgariad

Namely, he manages to bury himself in the ground up to his armpits, which he can’t escape from. Which: I’m sort of having a hard time understanding. I mean, he’s got free use of his arms, and the ground is soft. Push yourself out, dude. #Belgariad

Eventually, thanks to Zombie Colt (who loves Garion SO MUCH but is still just a baby horse), Silk and Hettar show up to dig him out. And give him SO MUCH GRIEF over the fact that he managed to do that to himself. #Belgariad

Polgara and Belgarath give him so much grief over that, and Belgarath and Garion go out for a proper lesson (namely, putting the rock back), and gets super annoyed with Garion in the process. Belgarath: Not Smart, Not a Good Teacher. #Belgariad

They make their way out of the Vale, stopping briefly at the other towers, for Beltira & Belkira (who may as well be one person), and Beldin, who’s another character that it’s clear Eddings LOVES writing so much. #Belgariad

Beltira & Belkira annoy me a lot, and I think that ties to Eddings having a whole “Twins are MAAAAAGIC” thing. Like, if you haven’t had the displeasure of reading REGINA’S SONG, that’s the whole plot. Saved you from reading it. #Belgariad

Seriously, if Eddings is your Problematic Fave but you haven’t read REGINA’S SONG, just don’t. Nothing good can come from it. #Belgariad

And Beldin? I realize how much Tyrion Lannister is “Let’s take Beldin and turn him down a few notches to something reasonable.” He’s more caricature than person, though I love that he an Pol have a relationship built on scathing insults. #Belgariad

There’s also a thing where Eddings seem to think immortal people just don’t value their time or something, as Beldin has apparently been watching the cave where Torak’s been sleeping for 500 years straight. #Belgariad

I’m sorry, I don’t care if you are immortal, there’s better ways to spend your time. #Belgariad

Beldin and the Twins spell out who each person is in the prophecy, which leaves Durnik bewildered. But it also is more undercutting how the prophecy is so “confusing” when it’s clear the Twins are totally on top of it. #Belgariad

More, essentially, of Belgarath isn’t that smart, and around the Twins and Beldin he must feel super Not Smart. #Belgariad

He says before they go to Cthol Murgos, they have to go to Ulgo to get one more guy for the heist. And Beldin & the twins mention the member of the prophecy that Belgarath can’t find. No idea where she is. SHE!?!?! #Belgariad

Yeah, it’s almost like it’s done with scare chords. But that’s where we end the Vale of Aldur. Off to Ulgo! Or Ulgoland, if you go by the map. #Belgariad

Ulgo starts off with Ce’Nedra being bewildered that Polgara has any sort of affection for Beldin, because he’s horrible and ugly. Pol is all, “Well, love is like that” and makes meaningful glances at Garion. Garion thinks This Means Something. Garion is clueless. #Belgariad

Silk figures Brill is going to show up again, since he’s due to show up around now. Come ON, Eddings. We know Silk is your favorite, but that doesn’t mean you show him the outline. #Belgariad

Even still, they’re figuring they should be on the outlook for Murgos again. But in Ulgo, it’s a big no for Murgos. But a Big Yes for MONSTERS. So, we have a few old school D&D Random Encounters over the next couple chapters. #Belgariad

First Random Encounter: Algroths, the same thing that took out Lelldorin in the last book. Now they’re barely a nuisance. Hettar, Barak and Mandorallen go off to smack them down, and then return, down having been smacked. #Belgariad

But Barak is a bit put off because Mandorallen has embraced Durnik’s “laugh at the fear” advice in the most literal manner, which means he laughs while fighting. Barak thinks this is a real violation of Battle Decorum. #Belgariad

Second Random Encounter: The Hrulgin, which are sort of horses, except carnivorous with claws and fangs. This fight is also pretty basic, though Hettar has a moment where he’s all “sort of horse-like things… want one.” #Belgariad

Now we get the big Third Random Encounter, against an Eldrakin named Grul, along with his rock wolves. Belgarath had fought Grul before, so Grul knows him, and calls him “Grat”. He’s wearing armor now, since last time Belgarath knifed him. #Belgariad

Sidebar here on how disappointing I found both books BELGARATH THE SORCERER and POLGARA THE SORCERESS, since all they did was take things we already knew, and fleshed it out to narrative. #Belgariad

Take, for example, Belgarath’s encounter with Grul in that book: it’s there only because it’s an established thing in Belgarath’s past. And… yeah, Belgarath pulls a knife and slices up his belly. There’s fundamentally nothing *new* in those books. #Belgariad

(Today's Tweetstorm has been brought to you by Trashing Later Period Eddings. Later Period Eddings: It's Really Lacking!)

This fight is pretty exciting, since it’s actually, you know, a challenge for our heroes. It KINDA shouldn’t be, but it is. Both Mandorallen and Durnik get hurt. And it gets to the point where Polgara summons the spirit of her mother to help. #Belgariad

And I have SO MANY ISSUES about Poledra, most of which tie to her being just a Lobo Ex Machina, but more of those come up in the Malloreon, so we’ll pace ourselves about that. #Belgariad

But also, under I Have Questions, they are SUPER inconsistent about sorcery and what Belgarath and Polgara can do. Like, Belgarath turns into a wolf, and Polgara summons the wolf-spirit of her mother, and they wolf-fight Grul. Cool. #Belgariad

But, like, remember in the last book where Polgara went all Giant-Man and then turned Salmissra into a snake, all without even breaking a sweat? Yeah. I don’t get why they don’t just turn Grul into a puppy and then have a puppy friend. #Belgariad

The key thing is, this is a fight with consequences, as there are injuries to tend to, and Belgarath goes into a Full Power Sulk over Polgara bringing Poledra’s spirit into the fight. The next chapter is mostly consequences. #Belgariad

While Polgara is tending to the injured, Garion is all, did we just summon the spirit of a dead woman? Polgara, yeah, and it took everything the two of us had. To which I say: there were more efficient uses of power in taking Grul out. #Belgariad

And those uses might not have left Belgarath all traumatized about Spirit of Dead Wife. Just saying. #Belgariad

They take shelter in a grove of trees that Ce’Nedra finds, since: Dryad, talks to trees. Hettar gives her some side eye over that, which… strange choice. Like, of all the people to make all, “Talked to the trees, sure”, you choose the guy who talks to horses? #Belgariad

The rest for three days, and Belgarath pouts for three days, until Polgara is all, “All right, that’s enough sulking”. And she makes it clear that she did it with her mother’s permission, since she and her mother have always been in communication. #Belgariad

Because, really, Poledra’s never been gone! And she’s only slightly annoyed that Belgarath fooled around with Marag women! (Come ON, Poledra. If “you faked your death 4000 years ago” isn’t a totally legit exception, nothing is.) #Belgariad

Honestly, in so many ways, Poledra is just The Worst. Especially with “never really been gone”. I’ll get back to that later. #Belgariad

Finally, they get moving again and get to Prolgu, which is an eerie, empty city, abandoned (but kept perfect) for 5000 years. Notably, its architecture is all pyramids and angles. Durnik DOES NOT APPROVE. #Belgariad

Nothing gets Durnik upset quite like immodest women and the lack of right angles. #Belgariad

Belgarath finds the special entrance to the real city in the caves below, and the Ulgo invite them all to descend. Into the caves! #Belgariad

Down through the underground caves of Ulgo, where the constant hymn to UL has been echoing around constantly for 5000 years. Barak is less than thrilled by that, and I feel him here. Can you imagine just hearing the same song ALWAYS? #Belgariad

Though there’s a bit where they’re all, “We have to go around this unstable cavern, where a slightest sound would collapse the roof”. And, um, does that not include the constant echoing hymn? #Belgariad

They’re brought to the Gorim, who is basically the Dalai Lama of Ulgo. He’s not the same Gorim from the original legend, but it’s passed on like a title. Again, the historical continuity of names is a recurring practice. #Belgariad

Though I wonder how much of that is Eddings getting overwhelmed in doing the historical #worldbuilding (in Rivan Codex, they did ALL the Tolnedran emperors), and just went, “Screw it! They’re ALL Gorim! They’re ALL Salmissra!” #Belgariad

Anyway, Gorim is a sweet old man who balances deep piety with practical life. For example, he’s told, “Oh, this is totally just wild fruit and wild beef that we hunted and gathered” because that’s what the tradition is supposed to be. #Belgariad

But he knows perfectly well that his people have set up farms and ranches on the outside (which they tend to nocturnally, which is neat), and permits them this deception. So it’s clear: faithful, not fanatic. #Belgariad

So when Belgarath is all, “So we need this guy Relg to join us,” Gorim is all, yeah, THAT GUY. He’s a fanatic. He’s trouble. He’s not going to help you, and he won’t listen to me. And Polgara is all, no, call him. We got this. #Belgariad

POV Switch! Back to Ce’nedra. You know, nowadays we’re far more aware about POV and head-hopping and how that defines What Kind Of Book This Is, and I wonder if today people would lose their minds over what this series does with POV. #Belgariad

I mean, it’s Third-Person Limited on Garion, like, 90% of the time, and then mostly Ce’Nedra for the rest, except for the occasional “check-in chapters” that start in the fifth book. You do that today, you’ll be torn up for Doing It Wrong. #Belgariad

Anyway, Ce’Nedra is all like, half-asleep because they’re having a long dinner with a sweet-but-dull old man, and I FEEL YOU, Ce’Nedra. And then he’s all “So, do the Dryads still worship UL?” And she’s “Do the who do the what, now?” #Belgariad

So she turns the diplomacy on, saying, “No, but I will TOTALLY pick up a Book of the Ulgo at the Tolnedran library and get on that. Really.” And he decides to just recite the Book of Ulgo to her, for memory, verbatim. #Belgariad

Which would strike me as a complete mood killer at any dinner. Like, I’m shocked Barak or Silk aren’t being all, “Well, this is swell, but we gotta be… doing the thing… somewhere not here.” But Ce’Nedra is actually into it once he gets going. #Belgariad

Then Relg comes in with his followers, and friends, Relg is a complete prick. He is that holier-than-thou guy, which he even pulls on Gorim, which… you have to admire those cojones. And Barak is already “screw this guy, let’s blow.” #Belgariad

But Relg is a cave diviner, which means he can find caves. Plus he can also Kitty Pryde his way through rock. So, jerk, but with some skills. And the plan is to get into Rak Cthol through the caves they think are underneath it. #Belgariad

And that’s based on the prophecies, which Gorim is all, “I don’t know, that’s obscure”. And one of them is from The Book of Torak, LITERALLY saying, “Protect the city from below because the enemies will come from underground” WHICH IS NOT OBSCURE. #Belgariad

I mean, maybe we’re only quoted relevant passages, and the Mrin Codex is written like Finnegan’s Wake and you got to dig through all the nonsense to pull out the good stuff, but this is not only telling-not-showing, but showing things that counter what you’re telling. #Belgariad

Either way, Relg is all, “Yeah, I’m not about that. I’m not going with you unclean heathens. I’m going to stay here and serve my god, UL, and no one can tell me otherwise.”
So UL shows up and tells him otherwise.
#Belgariad

For real, it’s like the Marshall McLuhan scene in Annie Hall, except with God. And UL does not hold back with the chastisement. It’s especially harsh. Like, the worst thing your dad ever said to you, times a billion, because it’s GOD. Relg is suitably shamed. #Belgariad

And then UL checks in with everyone else, calling Garion “Belgarion”, and telling Ce’Nedra that she needs to stay in Ulgo while everyone else goes to to Cthol Murgos. And she agrees, as you do in the presence of a God. #Belgariad

He goes, and Barak does what he does when a god leaves: take the name of his own god in vain. I love the consistency of this. #Belgariad

Plans are made to go, and it dawns on Ce’Nedra that she just agreed to stay at Religious Grampa’s house while everyone else goes to Cthol Murgos. (Not everyone else: Hettar does not get to go, because he’s FAR too into Murgo Murdering.) #Belgariad

So as everyone is leaving, Ce’Nedra grabs Garion and kisses him like she’ll never see him again. (This is their second kiss, the first is very under the radar when they play in the snow back in the Vale section.) #Belgariad

I really like that Eddings did it that way, making this kiss far more of a *moment*, while the first one was just a playful thing that happened, no big. Because life is kind of like that. Plus: both kisses are initiated by Ce’Nedra, which is a nice bit of agency. #Belgariad

She then runs off crying, while Garion remains bewildered. As is the way of things. And that ends the Ulgo section. Off to Cthol Murgos! #Belgariad

The Cthol Murgos section starts with just getting out of Ulgo, where our heroes are lead by Relg through a long tunnel all the way to Algaria. There’s a good sense of how, like, three days in a cave in the dark is harrowing, even if it’s not dangerous. #Belgariad

Plus there’s bits of Relg showing he knows his stuff, and Barak being all, “OK, you know your stuff” and Relg hating back “Don’t touch me.” “Don’t touch me” is on macro for Relg, and Alorns are a very tactile people, so there’s a lot of clash there. #Belgariad

Which makes some sense, but presents Relg’s agoraphobia as the typical experience for any Ulgo, when that practically can’t be the case. But “practically can’t be the case” applies to a lot of Eddings worldbuilding. OH, we’re getting to a big one of those. #Belgariad

In his fear, he latches onto Garion as someone important, as UL was all, “Hail, Belgarion”, and Garion does his best to explain things like clouds and birds to calm him down. And then Relg drops his bombshell: UL had told him he would reveal the new Gorim to Ulgo. #Belgariad

Basically, there will be a new baby who will be the new Gorim, and Relg is all, “I’M going to find him” and puffed up his self-importance on that. Now he’s ashamed, and wants Garion to lay a penance on him. Garion is not down for that sort of thing. #Belgariad

Relg freaks out and runs off, and Belgarath gets really mad at Garion for not just lying and being all, “Yeah, here’s your penance.” Which is fascinating. Like, the books never quite get into Belgarath as Religious Authority, even though he totally is. #Belgariad

Though that’s kind of what makes him Belgarath, right? His theology is “get it done and don’t be a jerk”. He has TONS of political capital that he largely does not expend in anyway beyond soft power. And that’s usually, like, “Hey, let’s not go to war right now, hmm?” #Belgariad

As they travel through to Cthol Murgos, Belgarath puts Garion on Relg Duty, which means Garion has to hear Relg go on and on about sin and impurity and how wicked his thoughts about women are. Garion DOES NOT WANT any of this. #Belgariad

Relg is all, “Yeah, women are dangerous, man. I’m thinking about making my followers all stay chaste.” RELG IS AN INCEL.
Garion is all, “Won’t that mean you won’t get that special baby, though?”
#Belgariad

They cut through Mishark ac Thull to get to Cthol Murgos, mostly there just long enough to see a Thull throw himself off a cliff to avoid being sacrificed. Relg only hears “avoid religious ritual” and is offended, and Silk lays into him. #Belgariad

Because “get sacrificed” is a very different thing than Relg’s prayers and rituals. And there’s a thing about Thullish women always trying to be pregnant so they won’t get sacrificed, and Relg tries to slut shame them, even though his heart isn’t in it. #Belgariad

They get into Cthol Murgos and on the caravan route, which is safe because the Murgos won’t irritate the Tolnedrans (yet) by violating that treaty. But a Tolnedran trader warns Silk that there’s a lot more “accidents” and arrests of westerners. #Belgariad

They reach a supply post where a makeshift trading center has popped up-- basically for western merchants to sell off everything and make a little profit and then get the heck out of Cthol Murgos. And this is where they all meet Yarblek. #Belgariad

Yarblek is a Nadrak, and here they set up the Nadrak’s as the “good” Angaraks (again, “angular” eyes, but his are full of life instead of dead and soulless like the Murgos). He and Silk go way back and are friendly with each other. #Belgariad

He invites them all into his tent for some beer, and Barak is totally suspicious of all of it. But Silk is all, no, he’s cool, as is Polgara. In fact, Yarblek flirts furiously with Polgara and SHE. IS. ON. IT. Which totally confuses Garion. #Belgariad

Like, he’s totally, WHAT IS GOING ON because Polgara is in full on Nadrak Flirt Mode. Which is fascinating because in any other context she’s rather prudish. But I like that she knows what Nadrak context is and can totally roll with it. #Belgariad

Though I remember being annoyed by the bit in POLGARA THE SORCERESS where she goes to Gar og Nadrak because it’s so inorganically “You need to go to Nadrak because it’s time for you to learn about them because it’s part of canon”. #Belgariad

(Plus she goes there and learns to Nadrak better than any Nadrak Woman has ever Nadraked and, I mean, really, Eddings?) #Belgariad

They learn that Taur Urgas, King of the Murgos is on his way to this trading post (um, OK, sure), and Silk is all “I MUST BAIL NOW” and takes off. And then Yarblek is called out to go talk to the King. Barak is sure Yarblek will betray them. #Belgariad

(Escape because Taur Urgas plans an “accidental” massacre of everyone at the camp who isn’t Angarak.) Barak is totally confused Yarblek is helping, but Pol clarifies that being invited into his tent and sharing beer means they’re brothers until sunrise. #Belgariad

So Barak learned something! I think he’s the character who usually has a narrow view of things, has his view expanded, but then embraces, “Oh, that’s not as black and white as I thought”. Which is a nice thing here. #Belgariad

So while Yarblek is all, “So I got you, and I’m sorry there’s no helping Silk, but we need to go”, and the party is, “No, it’s fine.” Mostly because Relg has already locked down the “go rescue Silk” plan.

What I love about this is, Relg has been a jerk, and he and Silk do NOT get along, but there’s not a hint of hesitation or even asking him “can you do it?” It’s not even a conversation, he’s just on it that he’s going to rescue Silk, no question. #Belgariad

Which he does— slips through the rock, gets Silk, and slips through the rock with Silk back out, and they’re all off. Though Silk is utterly disturbed by the whole thing. “I could feel the rock moving through me.” Eerie. #Belgariad

(I remember that this gets completely Flanderized in Malloreon to Silk hating caves, but we’ll get to that.) #Belgariad

They head across the wasteland of Murgos and around the Tarn of Cthok to get to Rak Cthol, aka the Dumbest City Ever If You Think About It For Five Seconds. I mean, this utterly gets me on a worldbuilding level. #Belgariad

I mean, REALLY, WHAT IS THIS CITY? It’s up on the top of a mesa, almost a mile up in the air. It’s surrounded by UTTER WASTELAND. It’s nigh-impossible to get there or come back from there. No water. No farms. But yet, full of people AND SLAVES. HOW?!!?! #Belgariad

How do they eat? How do they get water? How do they transport anything there in an efficient manner? None of this works in any sense whatsoever. #Belgariad

On the way, they have Yet Another Murgo Fight (in which Relg and Durnik have an unspoken battle for Coldest Murgo Killing. Relg pushes one into the rock face and leaves him there, hands sticking out. Durnik runs one into a quicksand pit and just watches him sink. #Belgariad

Also, Garion learns some practical sorcery, as he helps Polgara magically shield them from Grolim magical searches. And that’s… fine. For once Polgara actually does some real explaining of something. #Belgariad

They get to Rak Cthol, at least the base of of the mesa, and Relg finds a cave in, and they work their way up. As they make their way, they start to hear singing.
Singing in Marag.
Belgarath is just amazed. This is what he’s been looking for for millennia. #Belgariad

They follow the singing and find Taiba, a Marag woman who’s been a slave here all her life. There’s apparently been Marag slaves here since they were exterminated (but holding onto a sliver of language and culture!). #Belgariad

And someone (Silk?) brings up “stories of Tolnedrans selling Marag prisoners to Nyissan slavers”, and like, what? Who told these stories? This was thousands of years ago, not within living memory. No. Just, no. #Belgariad

I really wonder sometimes if Eddings has any sense of what “thousands of years” is actually like. #Belgariad

Also, enough Marags (and Marag culture) survived in the slave pens of Rak Cthol to bring us to Taiba, here and now, and so I just have to say: Mara?
WORST.
GOD.
EVER.
DID YOU EVEN LOOK, MARA?
Or were you too busy crying to even try?
#Belgariad

Anyway, Taiba has lived her whole life as a slave, but she managed to escape and find her way into the caves, where she’s been starving to death in the dark. She would have died if the party wasn’t here right now. #Belgariad

But there’s one thing that Eddings wants to make perfectly clear about her:
She’s sexy.
SUPER SEXY.
For real, Taiba gets the most thorough description of lips, eyes, eyelashes, figure and exposed skin of any character. She gets male-gazed like nobody's business. #Belgariad

And OH SO MUCH EXPOSED SKIN. Like, that’s repeatedly told to us. A LOT. Relg is totally shook by this, hissing about how sinful and wicked she is. And she’s totally, “But I’m so sexy!” The word “lush” is used too often. And he’s still totally looking. #Belgariad

For real, I’m quite disturbed by the effort Eddings puts in to Taiba and her SlaveChic hotness.
They leave her some food and light and go up to finish their mission, promising to come back for her.
#Belgariad

They get into Rak Cthol proper, and more or less slip through the city unmolested. I mean, for real… for sneaking through the evil heart of the evil city of the evil nation dedicated to the evil god? Mostly uneventful. #Belgariad

Mostly but not entirely, because Brill is here. I mean JESUS this guy is just POWERED by plot convenience. He actually says something about being able to stay ahead of them because he rides horses to death, BUT COME ON. #Belgariad

Like, it’s not just that he keeps getting ahead of them, but that he has a preternatural ability to know where they’re going to be and when. To an absurd degree. #Belgariad

He spotted them in the mountains near the Vale, OK. Did he say to himself, “They’re going to the Vale, and then to Ulgo, THEN Cthol Murgos, so if I put myself on the Southern Caravan Route in, like, two months, I’ll be IN PLACE to NAIL THEM when they finally show!” #Belgariad

And when they escape there, he’s then, “All right, I’ll get to Rak Cthol and wait for them. Alone.” #Belgariad

Anyway, he and Silk fight, and even though Brill is a ninj— er, Dagashi, Silk manages to get the best of him, throwing him off the edge of the mile-high city.
ARE THERE NO HANDRAILS? Where the Murgo OSHA?
#Belgariad

I did like Silk’s whole, “Well, he needs to learn how to fly. Does bouncing count?” bit here. But Brill is literally the only real resistance they face in the whole city. But Brill is finally done with, and GOOD RIDDANCE. #Belgariad

I'm just saying, for a key antagonist since pretty much the beginning, Brill has been decidedly uninteresting. Making him Secret Super Assassin made him even more uninteresting. #Belgariad

So they get to Ctuchik’s Perversion Palace pretty easily. Oh, and it is a perversion palace, as he’s got several rooms each dedicated to each specific vice. He’s doing Christian Grey proud here. We don’t get details, just all, “Wow, he’s into some kinky stuff”. #Belgariad

They finally get to Ctuchik, and he’s totally the villains who’s going to lose because he’s monologuing. Which is TOTALLY what he does. He points out all the Prophecy Companions by name, including Relg as The Blind Man and Silk as The Nimble Thief. #Belgariad

I suppose it’s another sign of Eddings overwhelming love for Silk that they could never settle on what his Prophecy Name is: The Guide, The Rat, The Nimble Thief. Any and all! He's too much for just one name! #Belgariad

Ctuchik also makes it clear who Taiba is: The Mother of the Race That Died. Which… we should unpack a little. Because Taiba’s Prophetic job? BABYMAKING. I’ve heard complaints about female characters reduced to a womb, but COME ON EDDINGS. #Belgariad

She's so Reduced To A Womb that she LITERALLY does not make an appearance in The Malloreon at all. She's mentioned in passing, and only in context of MAKING ALL THE BABIES (TWINS AND TRIPLETS!), but never appears once. #Belgariad

We will get back to that, but couldn’t it just as much have been the Daughter of the Race That Died? Nowhere near as problematic. But Mother makes it clear that she’s got to get on to giving birth to All The Babies to repopulate Maragor. #Belgariad

Now Ctuchik reveals his master plan: he’s going to kill Ce’Nedra (Queen Of The World) and ruin everything for the prophecy. Just like that.
Except…. no Ce’Nedra.
He’s all, “I can get her anywhere!” And Belgarath counters, “Even in Ulgo?” Whoops. #Belgariad

Ctuchik then goes, “I’ll kill someone else, then!” And Belgarath tells him, nope, you can’t. Only Ce’Nedra was vulnerable. Too bad. And this seems like some bizarre Writer Fiat. You’re telling me he couldn’t just kill Relg or Silk right now? With a snap? #Belgariad

But, no, apparently everyone is safe from him except Ce'Nedra, and she's safe in Ulgo, all just because Belgarath says so. No reason beyond that. #Belgariad

Oh, and this is the beautiful part: they got in so easily BECAUSE CTUCHIK LET THEM, as he was so convinced how easily he’d have them in his trap here. His trap of… nothing. #Belgariad

SERIOUSLY, this was his plan:
Step One: Let them all in.
Step Two: Nothing.
Step Three: Victory!
He never read the Evil Overlord checklist, did he?
#Belgariad

He and Belgarath get to Sorcery Fighting. (There’s a whole thing that Ctuchik is a “magician”, not a sorcerer, but there’s nothing to that beyond Belgarath just giving him shade. He is a sorcerer, but Belgarath won’t call him that.) #Belgariad

While they’re fighting, there’s the sweet little boy in the room who just, you know, has the Orb. And he tries to give it to Garion. And as Garion reaches for it, Ctuchik freaks and yells “BE NOT!”
Chekov’s Gun: Fired.
#Belgariad

Can I say, though, what an awkward phrase to be the thing you say accidentally that you shouldn’t because you’ll destroy yourself. I mean, can you really ever see yourself saying that as a slip-of-the-tongue, “I didn’t mean it” thing to say? Ever? #Belgariad

Ctuchik is all “I didn’t mean it!” but too late. He goes boom. And it’s interesting, because Polgara says something about the Mother of the Gods not allowing the Be Not thing. I find that a fascinating thing to stick in here at this point. #Belgariad

Because it makes the rule, and Ctuchik’s destruction, not the natural result of basic physical Rules of Magic, but instead an active, intelligent choice of the Mother of the Gods. You said it, so she eliminates you. Not repercussion, but retribution. #Belgariad

Anyway, that also leaves Belgarath in a dazed state, and the city starts falling apart. Polgara gets everyone on task, pushing them all back in the caves so they can escape before everything tumbles down. #Belgariad

Polgara: We have to get out of here, but stop for Taiba on the way down.
Relg: I’m sure she’s dead.
Polgara; (JUST STARES)
Relg: FINE.
#Belgariad

And here’s where MAGICIAN’S GAMBIT ends!
(Reminder, said gambit was: let them just sneak in with no plan B.)
See you next week with CASTLE OF WIZARDRY. #Belgariad

Back to the #Belgariad, where CASTLE OF WIZARDRY opens with another prologue, this one about the history of the Rivan Kings, including the Nyissans massacring the king and his family, with one child rumored to have escaped into the ocean.

(Quick #Belgariad admin note: this is a busy week for me, so I’ll probably only get through half of CASTLE this week, and the rest next week.)

I’ll be honest, my memory had been that all this information had come up sooner, and while there’s been bits here and there about the lack of a Rivan King, this is the first time it was properly explained. So it’s a good example of restraint. #Belgariad

But, again I wonder, since this is a staple fantasy trope, does it have any historical precedence? Would any nation really go, “Well, I guess we just don’t have a king, just this placeholder guy for now.” Has it EVER happened in real life? #Belgariad

Has any country accepted that? No. They go, “Well, there’s Baron Gremmian, the king’s third cousin. He’s a bit of a knob, but he is descended from Riva Iron-Grip, so I guess he’s next in succession.” And: new king. #Belgariad

OK, going into the Algaria bit, which really starts with getting out of Cthol Murgos, I want to talk a bit of the under the hood stuff here. I poke at a lot of things that don’t work, but let’s talk about what does. Namely, Eddings and Chapter Structure. #Belgariad

Each chapter has a very clear, “This is what this chapter is about, here are the stakes, here’s how it’s handled.” Which makes a travelogue plot like this *move*, because at no point are you feeling like “Harry and Hermione are camping FOREVER”. #Belgariad

Case in point: Chapter One is getting out of the caves, Chapter Two is crossing the wasteland to escape Cthol Murgos, Chapter Three is Garion in Command, and so on. And then each chapter does extra character work every time. #Belgariad

In these chapters, it’s a lot of Relg and Taiba— especially Taiba— but also establishing their dynamic. First, while they get out of the caves, Taiba is cut off by a collapsed tunnel, so only Relg can get to her. He tries to be all, “If she’s lucky she was killed.” #Belgariad

Everyone’s like, “That’s horrible” and he’s all, no, she’s got plenty of air and water, so the horrible is being trapped and dying of starvation. But Polgara is all “NO, YOU GO GET HER.” He begs, BEGS, not to, and everyone shames him. #Belgariad

Even Mandorallen, when Relg is all “But all the sinfulness!”, is all, “Dude, it’s unseemly how you’re acting.” And they lay in that the bigger sin is leaving her to die when he has the power to save her. So Relg, weeping, goes to get her. #Belgariad

Once we’re out of the caves, they travel out across the wasteland, and most of the energy is spent on getting to know Taiba and the kind-of-stupid plan of “make sure the Murgos are following us”, which… why? #Belgariad

Like, the plan is to leave a somewhat obvious trail that they’re heading for the Tolnedran border, and once they hit the mountains, cut north for Algaria and presume they’ll chase the fake trail while the party gets away. #Belgariad

But… how about, just an idea, not leaving an obvious trail at all? Silk is dropping shoes and stuff so the Murgos are chasing them, but later they’re going be “Oh, wait, all these Murgos are chasing us and that's a problem now.” It’s DREADFULLY stupid. #Belgariad

Like, it’d be one thing if the plan was, “Silk leaves on an obvious trail IN THE OTHER DIRECTION and hopefully he’ll catch up later”. But, no, it’s “lead them by the nose two-thirds of the way and hope they get confused for the last third.” #Belgariad

Meanwhile, Taiba and Relg bicker about sin, religion and how sexy she is. He’s mad that she didn’t fight back when “given” to other slaves, and she’s all, “I literally couldn’t do anything about it, how is that sin?” #Belgariad

There’s also the bit where she brings up you can’t strangle yourself to death, because you just pass out. With a sense of “Yeah, I’ve tried it. A lot.” Which is pretty dark. But she realizes she can shut Relg up just by taking her clothes off. #Belgariad

Anyway, the Grolim Hierarchs start attacking at Errand (Errand being the little boy who carries the Orb, and… that’s all I have to say about Errand), so Polgara as to do a specific shield, leaving Garion alone to fight off the Hierarchs. Which, um… thanks Aunt Pol? #Belgariad

Silk immediately latches onto “Well, this is your command, Garion”, which makes me think Silk has read ahead in the outline and knows that Garion could use some command experience, and forces him into it. Garion does it, but is annoyed by it. #Belgariad

(No one really comments on the whole “Garion in command” thing besides Silk. Relg and Taiba are too busy annoying each other, and Barak, Mandorallen and Durnik are just doing their own thing anyway.) #Belgariad

Here’s another strong thing Eddings does for a travelogue: they don’t micromanage who’s doing what, when and how. Like, we know who’s in the party, we don’t need to check in with Barak or Mandorallen just to remind us they’re there. #Belgariad

Meanwhile, we get more reminders about JUST HOW SEXY Taiba is. IN ONE PARAGRAPH we get the phrases “sensual pout” and “ran her fingers through her glory of midnight hair” and I mean FOR REAL Eddings, dial it down. #Belgariad

I mean, let alone her life in the slave pit, they’ve been on horseback through dry, dusty wasteland. How much “glory” could her hair be in this situation?

Maybe Taiba is a low-key sorceress who only has hair magic. #Belgariad

The Hierarchs, unable to get Polgara and the boy, attack Durnik, which was the best plan ever if the goal is “enrage Garion”, because boy does he get pissed off. With the guidance of The Voice, he puts himself in his shadow and flies it back to Rak Cthol. #Belgariad

Garion faces the Hierarchs, who are all, “Yeah, you’re in your shadow, we know you can’t do sorcery like that.” Garion asks The Voice if that’s true. Voice is all, “I don’t know, why don’t you find out?”
Garion, to no reader’s surprise, absolutely can. #Belgariad

He slaps all the Hierarchs around and destroys their magic-focusing crystal, and basically leaves them a weeping, whimpering pile of old men. He zips back into his body and now Belgarath is awake and Polgara unshields. No more Garion-in-Command. #Belgariad

So, the party approaches the Escarpment to get into Algaria, but the Murgos are hot on their heels. WHO WOULD HAVE GUESSED THAT? I think I’d feel more tension if the plan to shake pursuit hadn’t been so flawed. #Belgariad

They decide to rush and go down a different ravine than they had planned, which means that Hettar and the rest of the Algars won’t be waiting for them at the bottom, so there’s nothing to discourage the Murgo pursuit behind them. Whoops. #Belgariad

The Murgos— and I think the books try to downplay how on the ball the Murgos are on a lot of things— are all, “They’re going down a ravine, and we’re on top of the ravine, so… let’s throw rocks on them. Which is a pretty good plan, SILK. #Belgariad

Belgarath does some magical rock-blocking, and then gets annoyed when Garion tries to cock-block his rock-block. BECAUSE THERE IS AN ETIQUETTE TO THIS. So he and Garion and Polgara are blocking the rocks as they come down. #Belgariad

Durnik is all, “We should hit back with something” and Silk is annoyed that you can’t drop rocks upward, but Durnik has an actual GOOD plan, namely to build bonfires to smoke them out, with the ravine acting like a chimney. #Belgariad

I do sometimes wonder if Eddings has the “smart” characters be stupid just so simple, practical Durnik can be brilliant in comparison. #Belgariad

So that buys them time to get out of the ravine, and onto the open plains of Algaria, but that means there’s really no place to run to with the Murgos chasing them. And the horses start to falter, so Durnik gets all John Wayne in the Searchers on them. #Belgariad

There’s a bit near the beginning of The Searchers where most of the group is all “We have to rush back NOW to save the village!” and John Wayne says “We have to rest the horses or we’ll never make it” and everyone else takes off, thinking he’s stupid. #Belgariad

And then he rides when his horse is ready, and passes everyone else halfway back to the village, whose horses are all exhausted. Same thing, anyway, everyone wants to sprint, and Durnik makes it clear they CANNOT until they tend to the horses. #Belgariad

Things are about to look really dire when Hettar and the Algars show up, and they were really within striking distance the whole time. They just waited for DRAMA. Hettar chides Durnik for the horses’ condition, and Durnik is all, “Dude, really?” #Belgariad

Then Belgarath collapses, as he’s been pushing himself all this time, and now that they’re “safe”, he lets go and is just DONE. Polgara works some medicinal craft, and Eddings does a good bit in making her treatment feel SUPER risky. #Belgariad

Like, the herbalism of it is meaningless, but having Polgara be exacting on the safety precautions in both handling and disposal of the herb does a lot of to show she’s going to extreme measures to save Belgarath here. #Belgariad

They slowly make their way to The Stronghold, which is kind of the one fake city in Algaria. Like, it’s not real place they live (except… it kind of is?), but just a target for Murgos to lay siege to. Which is interesting if you don’t think much about it. #Belgariad

But, like, the Algars are just nomadic cattle herders. So… no farms? So where do they get the food that they keep stored in the Stronghold to withstand these eternal sieges, like when Torak sieged it for eight years before Vo Mimbre? #Belgariad

Though this ties into a larger worldbuilding problem I have here, that much of the world and society has been frozen in place for five centuries, and people act as if all the things that happened centuries or millennia past are part of living memory. #Belgariad

(I mean, it is living memory for Belgarath & Polgara, but not for the typical Algar or Cherek or Tolnedran, and that’s critical here.) #Belgariad

Like, the Algar lifestyle is fundamentally based on being ready for an Angarak invasion, which has never happened in their lifetime. Or their grandfather’s. Or HIS grandfather’s. But yet they maintain it. #Belgariad

This ties to other things, like: the Chereks are great at naval warfare. The absolute best at it. But… who have they been fighting? There has been an effective peace between all the nations for generations. #Belgariad

The Arends, at least, have been fighting each other all this time, so that’s fine. But who have the Tolnedran legions fought to be so feared and mighty a fighting force. (And oh, this will come up again when we get to Ce’Nedra’s speeches.) #Belgariad

ANYWAY, the Stronghold is a place, so… they’re there, and resting while Belgarath recovers. Algaria isn’t interesting, frankly: it’s horses and grass plains and… that’s all. There’s a reason why half the Algaria section is spent in places that aren’t Algaria. #Belgariad

Polgara confides in Garion that Belgarath might just be broken by how much he’s pushed himself. Even if he recovers physically, he might have burned himself out magically, and if so, it’s up to them to keep up appearances. #Belgariad

(This is a subplot that resolves itself and just exists to make Garion fret over something. It’s artificial drama that would be solved by a conversation that’s not had for Reasons. It’s a Three’s Company plot with Magic. I won’t delve further into it. ) #Belgariad

Meanwhile, Garion meets Adara, a lady-in-waiting to Queen Silar, and they hit it off right away. Total instant connection. And then Polgara comes by and goes, “Oh, yeah, she’s your cousin from your mom’s side. Did I never mention that before?” #Belgariad

Polgara’s commitment to being THE WORST is impressive. #Belgariad

Garion and Adara bond and talk and become the family they never knew they had. It’s Algaria, so horse-riding is involved. And Adara asks leading questions about sorcery and what Garion can do.
#Belgariad

Garion decides to demonstrate what it can do by making a flower. And Adara is all, Yeah, creating an entire new species out of thin air is cool and all, but have you tried tampering with someone’s mind to make them fall in love? #Belgariad

Garion says, not so much. Wouldn’t even know how. Adara runs off crying, saying it was just some stupid idea, and Garion is perplexed. #Belgariad

Speaking of Garion’s Perplexity, let’s check in with Ce’Nedra in Ulgo. She’s doing as you’d expect: switching back and forth between sweet and bitter, and trying Gorim’s patience, as well as her circle of Ulgo teenage girls she’s made into her court. #Belgariad

We never learn a single Ulgo girl’s name, nor do we see a conversation between Ce’Nedra and them, because if we did, then the book would pass the Bechdel Test, and that’s certainly not going to happen. #Belgariad

But she is anxious and ready when everyone comes back to pick her up (including the Algar royal court), but when she sees Garion and Adara together, she’s instantly in OH NO NOT ON. She Mean Girls Adara, and then tells Garion she DESPISES HIM. #Belgariad

There’s no drama like a Ce’Nedra drama, lemme tell you. Polgara checks in on her, with, “Really, what was that about?” Ce’Nedra’s convinced she’s lost Garion, and Polgara tells her they’re cousins. Nothing George Michael and Maybe about it. #Belgariad

Everyone talks about the plan to go through Ulgo to come out in Sendaria, and then from there go to Riva. Ce’Nedra tries to go, “I can skip the Riva part, yes?” Polgara makes it VERY clear that ABSOLUTELY NO. #Belgariad

I do like how, from Ce’Nedra’s point of view, the whole thing with her having to go to Riva as part of the treaty is literally just so Alorns can mock and embarrass Tolnedra, with her as the avatar of her country. There’s no more to it beyond the joke. #Belgariad

But she’s going to go, because Polgara says so, and when Polgara says so, you do it. And Polgara clearly Knows Something, which neither Garion nor Ce’Nedra pick up on. I wonder what…
That ends Algaria, next, onto Riva! #Belgariad

Continuing with the #Belgariad, we’re onto the Riva section. Which means coming out of Ulgo in Sendaria. Probably. There’s a bit where everyone’s like, “Are we in Sendaria? Which way do we go?” until Durnik just finds someone and asks them.

Because, again, Durnik is a simple, practical man with simple, practical solutions. This is going to get turned up to 11 by the time we’re done. #Belgariad

While most people make for Sendar and the royal palace, Polgara decides she, Garion and Durnik need to pop over to Faldor’s Farm, largely to collect personal things that they left behind when they bolted out of there before. #Belgariad

Polgara also decides that Ce’Nedra should come as well. Possibly to not let Ce’Nedra out of her sight, and possibly to give her imperial highness a bit of insight into Garion and his upbringing. She might need that later, you never know. #Belgariad

Ce’Nedra objects, but Polgara does not care. She ask Garion if Polgara even listens. “Oh, yeah, she listens. She doesn’t change her mind.” Garion has full Val Alorn Syndrome now. #Belgariad

They reach the farm, and Garion is EXCITED to see Rundorig, who is all, “Yes, my lord?” before realizing it’s Garion. YOU CAN’T GO HOME, GARION. The guy won’t even shake Garion’s hand because he’s too dirty. #Belgariad

Rundorig has been “walking out with” Zubrette since Garion left (Doroon moved away), but he’s ready to lay down in defeat, presuming Garion has come to take Zubrette away. Garion will not violate Bro Code though. #Belgariad

Which brings us to possibly one of my favorite bits: when Zubrette shows up, Garion puts on a deliberate, calculated, “Oh, hey, it’s someone I don’t love” face to BREAK HER HEART INTO TINY PIECES. Also, Ce’Nedra is totally wise to this. #Belgariad

When she prods him on this, he points out that Zubrette couldn’t handle the “sleep in the palace one night, ditch in the road the next” lifestyle he lives. Ce’Nedra is all, “And I could?” But, yeah, he says, you could. You’re braver than her. #Belgariad

They get to the palace and Belgarath is annoyed by the side trip because their cutting things close, time wise (they have to be in Riva by Erastide for… Reasons), but Capt Greldik is there to take them. Because who do you call when you need a ship? GRELDIK. #Belgariad

Queen Layla DOES NOT WANT to go to Riva (because ships), but Polgara, again, is Not Having It. She’s adamant that Layla (and Fulrach and Col. Brendig) need to be at Riva for this because Reasons apply to them as well. #Belgariad

Oddly, do you know who is exempt from Reasons? Queen Porenn, who is currently too pregnant to travel. That’s how Prophecy works, apparently, you can get maternity leave. Unless you’re Layla The Always Pregnant. #Belgariad

They arrive on the docks of Riva, which is a gray, bleak place of stone. They’re greeted on the docks by other kings and such— except Rhodar, too fat to bother to come. THAT IS THE TEXT AND WE CAN’T EVEN MENTION RHODAR WITHOUT FATNESS. #Belgariad

Like, on some level it’s good that Eddings has characters of various physical types, like Rhodar or Cho-Hag, but it’s with Rhodar it’s all “BOY IS HE FAT BUT SOMEHOW ALSO SMART”. Side-eye, Eddings. SO SIDE-EYE. #Belgariad

Who else is here: Lelldorin! The plot didn’t forget him, and on his own he’s managed to get pseudo-married and create a national-level incident in Arendia. He literally stumbled into this by trying to do right by Lady Arianna, and... that’s Lelldorin! #Belgariad

So, the night before Erastide, Garion has weird dreams where everyone asks him if he’s ready. Dream Polgara also rushes him along without explaining things, so Dream Polgara is ON POINT. #Belgariad

Garion finds the palace both active and subdued in the morning, as everyone’s getting ready for the big “return the Orb” event at noon. And there’s a whole lot of “Garion this is really important and totally about you but what I don’t know why you’re asking” stuff. #Belgariad

Like, again, this would be a good moment, before Garion walks into the Hall of the Rivan King, to have a “hey, we should mention something this is kind of a big deal about to happen” conversation with him, but NO. #Belgariad

Instead Polgara and Belgarath are just, “Hey, come inside in a minute. It’ll be a whole thing. You’ll see.” I just… I mean, I get the dramatic tension of it, but it’s also some superdickery on their part. Tell him what’s up. #Belgariad

So, Garion leads Errand into the hall filled with kings and nobles and all the traveling companions, and in this moment he can see each of them doubled as their iconic prophetic titles.
I honestly wonder if anyone’s done fan art of this moment… #Belgariad

BIG MOMENT: Errand gives Garion the Orb, and he puts it on the Sword of the Rivan King, and then takes up the sword, and Belgarath announces, “THE RIVAN KING HAS RETURNED! HAIL BELGARION!” It’s a big deal. #Belgariad

Much excitement.
Much applause.
A creepy amount of “HAIL BELGARION!”
Exception Ce’Nedra, who just LOSES IT, shouting “OH, NO!”
#Belgariad

I kind of love this, because with all the stuff of Prophecy going on, Ce’Nedra sees how much she’s been just flat out PLAYED. She sees that Polgara has been planning this, and that the treaty provision was ALL ABOUT HER. #Belgariad

And, yeah, hell yeah she’s mad. Who wouldn’t be?
I think it’s also an excellent way to end this chapter, because you have this big moment the whole series has been leading up to, and then Eddings just PUNCTURES it. Love it. #Belgariad

OK, now for a #Belgariad sidebar, and OH MY, is it a doozy. There’s something I glossed over in today’s earlier bit: when they get to Riva, Merel is there with Barak’s children: the two girls and the new baby boy. Barak is pleased to see his son.

And he’s pleased to see Merel! And more importantly, she’s pleased to see him. Her whole passive aggressive bit of “duty” is JUST PLAIN GONE. Now things are just damn good between them. Because they have a son now. #Belgariad

LET’S UNPACK THIS SHALL WE?
Because the text painted their marriage as terrible, and while it puts some of that on Barak, the text REALLY REALLY wants to lay much of it at Merel’s feet, that she’s just a horrible person. Silk outright says as much in Pawn. #Belgariad

But now, all of a sudden, she just isn’t. She has undergone a radical shift in personality, now softening on her husband and being genuinely loving of him.
And why?
BECAUSE SHE HAS GIVEN BIRTH TO A SON.
#Belgariad

NOT EVEN that she gave birth and that changed her because she’s a mother now, which— AWFUL.
IT”S WORSE.
Because it’s GAVE BIRTH TO A BOY CHILD.
They had two daughters, but who cares about them? They don’t solve their parents’ marriage. #Belgariad

ONLY THE BOY CHILD WILL DO IT. #Belgariad

I mean, that’s LITERALLY what it is here: Merel was a heinous witch, but then she finally gave Barak an heir, and she reconsiders ever choice she ever made and totally rectifies her behavior.
HAVING A BOY “FIXES” HER.
#Belgariad

(Please, mind you: I am not saying Merel needed to change or rectify or be fixed. This is purely what the text gives us.) #Belgariad

BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE.
YOU’RE GOING TO WANT TO BRACE YOURSELVES.
YOU MIGHT WANT TO FIND YOUR COPY OF THE BOOKS AND GET READY FOR SOME THROWING.
(Consider this a Content Warning for where I'm going....)
#Belgariad

Do you remember how Magical Boy Child was conceived?
Barak drunkenly forced his way into Merel’s bedchamber, demanding her marital duties. DESPITE HER REFUSALS.
Yeah, that’s pretty damn rapey.
#Belgariad

SO LET’S DO THE MATH.

Drunken Spousal Rape—> Boy Child
Boy Child —> “Fixes” the Wife.
.
.
!
!
BARAK’S RAPE OF MEREL MADE HER INTO A GOOD, LOVING WIFE.
!
!
WTF???
#Belgariad

Feel free to scream into the heavens. I would not blame you if you throw the books into the fire.
I mean, I am going to continue with this re-read but...
BUT.
The levels of “your fave is problematic” has hit a new quantum shell.
More tomorrow.
#Belgariad

So, after an ArmadilloCon-shaped Hiatus, we return to The #Belgariad in all its problematic glory. We last left our heroes with Garion just having been named the lost King of Riva, and thus the Overlord of the West, and thus all sorts of wackiness is about to ensue.

Garion, aka King Belgarion of Riva, is already so put out by all the bowing and ceremony and nonsense he finds himself neck deep in. Like, I appreciate how his upbringing will keep him humble, but he was NOT PREPARED FOR THIS. #Belgariad

Like, he’s on the throne trying to be diplomatic and kingly, and he LITERALLY has a peanut gallery of the other Alorn kings providing commentary. Plus, Ce’Nedra is mad at him and he’s got no clue why. There, he goes to find her and ask questions. #Belgariad

Ce’Nedra points out the whole, “Hey, a five-hundred year old treaty means we’re getting married, and, you’re, like, the king over, like, ten countries, so you outrank EVERYONE”, and she’s having a hard time dealing. Which, fair. #Belgariad

Garion gets Silk and Lelldorin to sneak him into town so he can learn about about Riva from the Rivans, since he’s now king of a place he knows nothing about. Which is a pretty reasonable thing to do. #Belgariad

They visit a glassmaker who knows Silk as Ambar or Radek (it really doesn’t matter), and Garion bonds with the young apprentice glassmaker who makes amazing things and knows Garion is SECRETLY THE KING SHHH. #Belgariad

Garion buys a gorgeous glass bird and gives it as a gift to Aunt Pol, and for once she’s genuinely touched and sweet to him. IT WON’T LAST, Garion. #Belgariad

Meanwhile, someone throws a knife at Garion. He doesn’t see who, but this sets up a little mystery that someone is unhappy with him as the new king. WHO COULD IT BE? #Belgariad

I’ll jump ahead that it’s Olban, the youngest son of Brand, the Rivan Warder, who’s mad that his father has lost his prominence. I should point out that Brand is happy that there is a Rivan King now, because his whole job is “wait for the Rivan King”. #Belgariad

Garion handles the Olban situation all, “Yeah, we’re not going to tell your dad, and if you really want a piece of me, we can get some swords and go at it. Else, chill.” Olban runs off to cry. #Belgariad

Garion decides to deal with the “Ce’Nedra is pissed about being outranked” when she officially presents herself to be the Bride of the Rivan King, by announcing that they will share the throne and rule jointly. Ce’Nedra is pleasantly surprised. #Belgariad

Other people are kind of put out, and Polgara is all, “That’s fine, but you should have run that past someone maybe.” Yeah, Polgara, maybe one should check in with other people once in a while. #Belgariad

Garion also is a bit put out with, “Hey, you two knew this about me all this time and could have given me a heads up.” Belgarath and Polgara respond with, “Yeah, we could have.” SHRUG. #Belgariad

Then they have Garion give Ce’Nedra a medallion that binds her to their sorcerous family and she can’t take off. She doesn’t not react well to that. NOR SHOULD SHE. And she blames Garion. AGAIN, POLGARA, A BIT OF HEADS UP. #Belgariad

We check-in with Relg and Taiba, who bicker-flirt like crazy. Garion eavesdrops, and the Prophecy Voice has to tell him, “It’s not all about you, man.” At one point Taiba asks, “Do you really want me to go away and never see me again?” Relg, despite himself, does not. #Belgariad

Garion also sees that the various ladies of the court constantly come to Polgara for advice, but Polgara’s advice is, most of the time, “And what do YOU think you should do?” and that’s it. Until we get to Islena. #Belgariad

Islena, of course, is up to her neck in the Bear-Cult (but she never went to THOSE ceremonies, which, again, where did the religious morality of the Alorn countries come from?), and Polgara is all, “Let’s tell people. Pretend you infiltrated on purpose..” #Belgariad

Polgara also does some magic to show Garion some ghosts through a window of his parents, as well as Riva and her own sister. And her mother. WHO’S NOT REALLY DEAD DON’T GET ME STARTED ON POLEDRA. #Belgariad

So, all the kings and other key characters are meeting to talk about their mobilization for war. I kind of love (by which I mean, am annoyed by) how this upcoming war is treated as a given. No declaration, no actual attacks, just, “The Angaraks are going to do it.” #Belgariad

Except, the Prophecy tells Garion, it maybe isn’t, since all that really matters is him vs. Torak, with the Sword of the Rivan King vs. Cthek-Goru (Torak’s Sword). Torak’s sword isn’t particularly special except for the inverse parallel. #Belgariad

That happens more in the Malloreon when we get there. Eddings isn’t all that interested in the thing that’s the Evil Opposite, but they acknowledge, “Yeah, that exists all right.” Either way: Two guys with swords enter, one leaves, and that’s the real event. #Belgariad

So Garion goes to Belgarath and Silk and says, “Hey, let’s just skip the war and getting thousands of people killed part, and we go to my duel with Torak alone?” Yes? YES. It’ll annoy Polgara if they slip off but GOOD AND YES. #Belgariad

Notice that Garion’s “best friend”, Lelldorin? NOT INVITED. Hmm. #Belgariad

And that ends Riva. Tomorrow we’ll get into, frankly, my least favorite section in the entire series: DRASNIA. It’s literally and figuratively a swamp-filled slog. Yay? #Belgariad

So, yesterday in my #Belgariad posts, I said that Drasnia was one of my least favorite parts, as I felt it was this long slog through not much. Turns out, it’s not a long section at all, under 60 pages. But it FEELS like it drags along.

And I think, in part, it’s because it feels more like it’s marking time rather than moving the plot. It feels like there’s an obligation to do *something* in Drasnia because: travelogue. So, here’s something. #Belgariad

It’s only five chapters, and the first is mostly the marking the journey from Riva to Drasnia, as Garion, Silk and Belgarath slip off the island and head to the Big Duel with Torak. Garion writes a letter to Polgara, which Belgarath is all, “Eh, if you want.” #Belgariad

Because: Polgara gonna be mad. Especially since she’ll be “stuck” in Riva having to take care of things in their absence. And… maybe? I mean, Riva still HAS Brand. But I like that they weaponize Polgara’s self-importance against her. #Belgariad

Because, honestly, she doesn’t NEED to stay behind and run things, but she’ll totally she’ll feel she has to. When they cross the sea on Greldik’s ship, Belgarath tells Greldik to not go back to Riva in any hurry. #Belgariad

Once again, Greldik is the only ship anyone can take anywhere. If he’s not available, you’re not going. #Belgariad

The three of them make their way to Drasnia, and slog through the fens, while Silk gripes about how he loathes his homeland. They eventually get surrounded by fenlings, which are smart otter-like creatures. #Belgariad

The fenlings lead them to Vordai, the witch of the fens. And within the Rules of Magic, Witchcraft is… something different than sorcery, but what isn’t clear. Whatever it is lets Vordai live for several centuries, though. #Belgariad

She apparently used her powers, vaguely defined as not-sorcery as they are, to make the fenlings smarter, which Belgarath doesn’t really approve of. But she and Belgarath have a whole politely-disagree-with-respect thing going on. #Belgariad

I’m not quite sure what Eddings was doing with this bit, other than opening the door to witchcraft as a different kind of magic here, but not clarifying what that means. How is her power different? What can and can’t she do? #Belgariad

There’s also a thing about her being forced into swampy exile by the provincial villagers for her witchy powers, which is a contrast to Belgarath being one of the most respected people in all the kingdoms. But it doesn’t quite land. #Belgariad

She wants him to give the fenlings the power to talk, and he argues with her, but she won’t let them get through the swamp unless he does. After some debate, he agrees, and goes off to do it. #Belgariad

At this point, Garion is all, “But he may have lost his power!” (remember that subplot?), but: everything’s fine, and it works. Belgarath is all, “You and Pol were worried about that? Huh.” So a big nothing, really. #Belgariad

Also there’s the fact that Belgarath really didn’t have to put up with Vordai’s whole “you can’t get through the swamp without my help”, because: yeah he could. But he wanted her to make a good argument or something. #Belgariad

So next up they get into Boktor, which… is a city. Boktor and Kotu are the only real cities on the Drasnia map, which makes me think as Eddings went on, they got lazier about details of cities and places that weren’t going to show up. #Belgariad

There’s actually the bit of “Oh, yeah, Garion’s the king” realization from Porenn. Of all the queens in this series, Porenn is clearly Eddings’s favorite. Because, well, she actually does things. Like send Silk to see his mother. #Belgariad

Eh, I really don’t need Silk’s crying-on-the-inside clown thing getting any more airtime. Though I’ve got issue with the whole “no one let Silk’s blind mother know she isn’t beautiful anymore” thing. I want to believe she’s not that shallow. #Belgariad

Silk drinks himself into a stupor and then cries himself to sleep and it’s presented as if “Mom’s not beautiful anymore and we can’t tell her” is just THE WORST THING. You know, FOR HIM. HE CAN’T DEAL WITH IT. I just, side-eye, Eddings. SIDE-EYE. #Belgariad

Plus Porenn is totally, like, Silk's enabler in all this. She treats it like he's this great noble martyr who suffers so much because of how not-pretty his mother is now. CAN YOU IMAGINE THE HORROR. #Belgariad

They move on, and Garion starts to get some nerves about the whole, “Hey, I’m off to duel a GOD” thing. Which: fair. Belgarath points out that Torak is just as terrified of him, if that helps. #Belgariad

Belgarath relates meeting Torak the first time, where he showed up at the Vale all, “I would speak with my brother, thy master”. Belgarath said, “I’ll let him know”. Torak: “No need. He knows.” #Belgariad

Which is a great summation of Torak: I’m here to let you know that I’m me. I don’t actually need you to do anything, I just wanted you to know it. #Belgariad

Belgarath then also waxes on about how Torak stole the Orb, and then Belgarath was sent to go tell Belar, who was in drunken revels. Many an Alorn maiden, we’re told, dreamt that Belar would come to her bed, and he made many dreams come true. #Belgariad

That’s flat out text, people. And, again, if their GOD is a drunken lech, how did the Alorns adopt monogamy as the norms? I think, in their worldbuilding, the Eddings did not interrogate their assumptions. #Belgariad

Speaking of, though, Garion learns that Belgarath’s wife, Poledra, was originally a wolf, and he’s kind of grossed out by it. Even if she’s a wolf that shape-changes into a person, he’s still, “Dude, that was a WOLF.” #Belgariad

Belgarath teaches Garion how to wolf himself, as that’s a thing he should learn how to do. I always felt like Garion never got to find his own personal shape-shift shape, though. It’s like Belgarath went, “You’re gonna be a wolf like me!” and that was it. #Belgariad

So Garion wolfs, and while he’s wolfing on his own, he runs into the Lobo Ex Machina herself, Poledra. Who’s not really dead, or… something. Like, I just don’t care. Her whole deal is SUCH a Abrams Mystery Box, you know? #Belgariad

So Garion calls her Grandmother and she tells him she loves him and he’s got to be the vessel of the forces that are meeting, and… that’s it. She leaves. Good riddance. End of Drasnia. Tomorrow we get to Ce’Nedra’s bit, which is much more interesting. #Belgariad

So we start The Rivan Queen section of The #Belgariad. I do wonder if they hemmed and hawed about naming this section, which isn’t place-named in the travelogue theme, until settling on breaking the format.

It starts with Ce’Nedra, deciding she’s going to make nice with Garion, as well as charting out where she stands in the hierarchies of all the noble women of the world. She presumes she outranks just about everyone, with three exceptions. #Belgariad

Layla, actually, is the one who comes to Ce’Nedra to intervene as Polgara is going FULL ON BALLISTIC, magically smashing everything in her room, and not listening to anyone. Layla sends in the teenager. Such a dear. #Belgariad

I do love Ce’Nedra’s first thoughts in seeing the full-on destruction caused by Pol’s tantrum is more or less, “game respects game”.
Because Polgara is throwing a *quality* tantrum, as only the greatest sorceress can. #Belgariad

Ce’Nedra manages to save the crystal wren before learning what Polgara is angry about, namely that Garion, Belgarath and Silk slipped off in the night. She hands the wren off to a servant so she can go off and have her own tantrum. #Belgariad

Hers is based on the idea that this is an elaborate method of jilting her, after she had already made up her mind to be mostly nice to Garion and everything. I mean, that wasn’t what Garion did, but could you really blame him if it was? #Belgariad

Layla sits her down and gives her the, “It’s not about you” speech. Layla, see, knows all about the prophecy and why Garion left. This is some serious retcon of Layla in this section, who before was just “pregnant” and “hates boats”. #Belgariad

Though maybe in giving us a dedicated section of Ce’Nedra POV, we’re seeing sides to the female characters that Garion is largely oblivious to, because: Garion is oblivious.
Either way, Layla sets Ce’Nedra’s head straight. #Belgariad

Ce’Nedra also discovers the magic amulet lets her hear conversations elsewhere, though it seems to operate on Dramatically Appropriate. It’s easy for her to find the IMPORTANT conversations, and only once listens to servants screw in the closet. #Belgariad

She hears the various kings (plus Barak, Mandorallen, etc.) confer over the coming war and how the Angaraks have them outnumbered and they aren’t sure they can get the Arends and Tolnedrans on board. #Belgariad

Namely, they would respond to Garion, The Overlord of the West, but without Garion actually there it’s impossible for the Alorn kings to count on that authority having any weight. Especially with Tolnedra. #Belgariad

Ce’Nedra comes up with a baller plan. She strolls into their meeting, all, “Hey, my betrothal agreement says I rule jointly with Garion, so as the Rivan Queen, I’ve got that same Overlord authority. Let’s do it.” #Belgariad

Anheg and Brand are not thrilled, but Rhodar is pretty much, Yes, this plan, I’m in. He counters all of Anheg’s sputtering and “It’s unnatural!” to be like, Yeah, but we don’t have a better option, let’s do it! So it’s a go. #Belgariad

Part of this means Ce’Nedra (with Durnik’s help) goes to an armorer to get special armor made for her. The armorer is SO NOT ON BOARD. Which, you have to admire the cojones on this guy. #Belgariad

I mean, he’s an artisan of the lower classes, even a respected one, but LITERALLY the royalty of his country is all, “I need to hire you to do this” and he’s just “Nope, won’t do it.” He has to be COAXED into making armor for his QUEEN. #Belgariad

So he has her strip to get her measurements, and she’s all scandalized and… there’s our saucy prude again. Remember how Tolnedra has no nudity taboo, with joint baths and naked sporting events? Apparently Ce’Nedra doesn’t. #Belgariad

Anyway, he makes the armor for her, and she thinks it’s perfect except not busty enough. And, man, does the text do it’s best to dance around actually saying “Ce’Nedra wants to look bustier”. Like it’s embarrassed of this plot point, but doing it anyway. #Belgariad

Also, it seems like a way for Eddings to have their cake and eat it too with Ce’Nedra wearing Boob Armor. “Look, she was the one who wanted it. The armorer was against it. But what can you do?” #Belgariad

She shows up decked out in her armor with sword and shield, and the kings are all “Cool, that’ll look good as a figurehead for us.” Polgara gives withering glances but then is all, “Fine, I’ll let you do this. But the boob armor is ridiculous.” #Belgariad

Look, I wouldn’t bring it up, but a fair amount of this chapter is dedicated to the subject. #Belgariad

So, plans are underway to mobilize armies and create a distraction somewhere in the south, largely to make it easier for Garion et al to sneak through northern Angarak. And Anheg is mad because Islena decided she gets to co-rule as well. #Belgariad

He sputters and such about how women should NOT be in charge of things, and Polgara puts him in his place. Then, privately to Ce’Nedra, “Though, for real, Islena’s a moron.” She convenes a council of the ladies to sort things out. #Belgariad

She tells the other queens to stay in touch with each other and not sign anything, and listen to Porenn because she’s actually smart. Adara and Arianna (Lelldorin’s Mimbrate wife) decide they’ll go with the army to help Ce’Nedra. #Belgariad

Polgara decides to take Errand with her since he can touch the Orb, and Taiba agrees to come along to keep an eye on him. Because Taiba’s WHOLE JOB IS TO MOTHER AND PINE FOR RELG. Plus: she’s even in the room? #Belgariad

Here’s where Eddings’ usual bit of not doing much “placesetting” in a scene or establishing the party hurts the text. You literally don’t know who’s in the room until they speak, and it feels like it’s not REALLY who Pol would call in to brief the queens. #Belgariad

Like, would Islena want Merel there for a “Please don’t be an idiot, Islena” speech? Or Adara, Ariana or Taiba? I mean, maybe TECHNICALLY Taiba could claim to be the ranking Matriarch of Maragor and thus a queen, but… no. #Belgariad

I’m just saying, the people in the room are in the room because they’re main cast, like it’s a TV show and we’re only giving lines to the people who are in the credit, and not for story logic reasons. #Belgariad

Ce’Nedra gives another listen to the kings planning, and realizes that this whole “distraction for Garion” thing is going to be a massacre, but a necessary one since Garion getting to Torak is EVERYTHING. #Belgariad

And she has a brief Rejecting The Call moment before accepting that she’s the one who has to do it, and she will do it for Garion, no matter how horrible it is, because she’s the Gods Damned Rivan Queen. #Belgariad

Barak brings his Biggest Fastest Ship to take everyone off the island and onto the mainland, and Relg & Hettar go to mobilize their people, and everyone else heads to Arendia to rally the Arends. And Ce’Nedra has a bit watching Mandorallen on the shore. #Belgariad

This, like, tries to be epic, including stepping the authorial voice outside of the POV to “as long as Ce’Nedra lived she remembered this moment”, where Mandorallen rides on the shore at pace with the ship. #Belgariad

And it’s a bit where you can see that sort of cinematic sweep they’re going for, but… I feel like it doesn’t quite land. It’s not the strongest part of Eddings’ writing style, let’s just say. #Belgariad

So they’re in Asturian Arendia, and Ce’Nedra’s all, “So what’s the plan?” The plan is, you’re going to give a speech. Because: leading, at least as a figurehead, means making a speech. Ce’Nedra was not quite ready for that. #Belgariad

Polgara reminds her that this was her idea, so she better step to it. Lelldorin gathers up a handful of Asturian minor nobles and hotheads for Ce’Nedra to speak to, and terrified as she is, she gets up there with her prepared remarks, and starts to bomb. #Belgariad

Then one drunk guy heckles her, and that LIGHTS HER UP because she’s not going to have that, and the rage carries her through. Plus she throws some Henry V in there, saying he’ll regret not fighting now when the Grolims win. #Belgariad

Afterwards, Ce’Nedra is all, “Well, that was rough, glad that’s over.” And Polgara comes back with, “oh, sweetheart, you’re going to give a LOT of speeches.” Ce’Nedra’s not happy about that, but muscles on. #Belgariad

Polgara tries to help her out a bit by showing her a part of the Mrin Codex that says that “the bride of light will set fire to the people with her words” and Ce’Nedra’s all, “That’s some nonsense” until Polgara clarifies Garion is the Child of Light. #Belgariad

And, again, they make a thing about how the Mrin Codex is all nonsense but everything we see reads pretty much like Shakespeare: You might not know the exact reference being made, but it’s not unclear what’s it’s talking about. #Belgariad

PRO TIP, PEOPLE: If you keep having characters say something reads like nonsense, make it some actual nonsense. Go full "nor avoice from afire bellowsed mishe mishe to tauftauf thuartpeatrick” on it. #Belgariad

The Northern Arendia tour continues, and the army grows, including Ce’Nedra meeting the duo of Arendish Misery Porn, Lammer and Detton. They have no reason to live or do anything, but they join Ce’Nedra’s army in order to eat. #Belgariad

One of them mentions his son being killed in war in service of his lord— boiling pitch poured on him— and I’m wondering what the context of that is? I mean, I know Arendia is in a sort-of-civil-war state, but… that’s pretty series open warfare. #Belgariad

So who was Lammer’s Lord fighting there in serious, hardcore siege warfare? Some other Arendish lord? I thought things were more petty squabbles, but… what is Korodullin even DOING on the Throne, you know, if this is how things go internally? #Belgariad

There’s an attempt on Ce’Nedra’s life, but this is mostly so Olban- the one who briefly tried to kill Garion- can go FULL ON in his “I WILL PROTECT THE QUEEN” mode, I guess as his own form of penance. Everyone is all, “Good man, that Olban”. Hmm. #Belgariad

They move on to Vo Mimbre, and Ce’Nedra gives them a big flowery speech, but… they aren’t hard sells. “Hey, wanna go have a big fight? YES.” That’s all it takes.
Now, the Tolnedran legions, that’s a different story. #Belgariad

But Ce’Nedra has a scheme, and has Barak collect as much Red Angarak Gold to work it. And then the giant army marches into Tolnedra. The Emperor and the Imperial Legions are… less than thrilled about that. #Belgariad

The Emperor is put out by A. Giant Alorn/Sendar/Arendish army violating his borders and B. His own daughter at the lead of it. And there’s a parlay with him and the other Kings of the West (and Polgara etc.) that is kind of fascinating in terms of Huh? Worldbuilding. #Belgariad

FOR EXAMPLE: It’s clear that Ran Borune knows all the other kings and such personally. As in they’ve met face-to-face. Which is fine, because you can believe that there have been state visits and such. #Belgariad

But then when he’s all, “Why are you invading me?”, Anheg says, “If we were, there would be burning villages. *You know how we make war.*” And… does he? Again, we’ve been led to believe there’s been relative peace throughout the West since the Battle of Vo Mimbre. #Belgariad

So, how would Ran Borune know how Alorns make war, if they haven’t warred with each other… ever in their lifetimes? How do any of these kings have a sense of what an actual war campaign is? #Belgariad

And this is a real worldbuilding problem continued in the next bit. Eddings wanted the relative peace/crossable borders for a Cold War Era fantasy allegory, but also wanted the nation’s leaders to be seasoned wartime leaders. It doesn’t work with the timeline. #Belgariad

Ce’Nedra goads her father into having an epileptic fit (because the Tolnedra=Rome parallels weren’t strong enough), and while he’s out of commission, goes to talk to the Legions so she can scoop them up as well. #Belgariad

Which she does in a speech about the legionnaires dying for the gold that goes to other men, using the Red Angarak Gold she gathered to emphasize her point. And I can see how that would work pretty damn well, yes. BUT… #Belgariad

Again: Where and against whom are the Legionnaires dying? What wars to line the pockets of Tolnedran nobility have they been fighting? Given that the Tolnedrans are all Make Treaties and Stay Neutral, WHO HAVE THEY BEEN WARRING WITH? #Belgariad

When I read this as a teenager, the fundamental problem of this set-up didn’t even hit me, but now it bothers me SO MUCH. Every nation has had peace yet everyone has reputation for and wisdom from wars that THEY’VE NEVER FOUGHT. #Belgariad

Anyhow, that ends CASTLE OF WIZARDRY. We start up next week with ENCHANTER’S END GAME, which is a great title if you ignore the fact that “Enchanter” is a term never really used in the text of this series EVER. Hmm. #Belgariad

Hello, #Belgariad fans, we’re moving into the endgame now, specifically ENCHANTER’S END GAME, the last book in this series. And you know what that means: Prologue. This one is explicitly from Torak’s POV.

I actually think it’s well done, showing how Torak sees all these things, as he doesn’t see himself as The Evil God. He thinks that’s Aldur, who first spurned a group of people to be alone, then stole disciples from the peoples of the other gods. #Belgariad

And then he became obsessed with this stone that he breathed life into, this bizarre, destructive thing, and Torak believes he was staging an intervention. Like, “I have to get this away from you and destroy it, for your sake.” #Belgariad

This is not this kind of series, but I would love to see someone truly do a subversion like this: much of a series where the main characters are convinced they’re on the side of light, fighting the evil god, and then: nope. You’ve been on Team Evil the whole time. #Belgariad

We start the narrative proper with the Gar og Nadrak section, which is yet another slog. The Garion, Belgarath & Silk trod to Mallorca is, fundamentally, not that interesting, because it feels like marking time rather than a journey with stakes. #Belgariad

Huh. Autocorrect changes "Mallorea" to Mallorca.

I mean, the first three chapters are largely devoid of anything: crappy Nadrak towns, unengaging conversations with random people they meet up with, and nothing really happening. Be it a trader, a miner, a prospector, whatever. #Belgariad

Though Eddings seems weirdly proud of the prospector, making him a whole thing, this guy who knows Belgarath from a bit back, but doesn’t care for much besides being up in the woods alone. #Belgariad

I wonder if, for Eddings, that was some sort of idealized off-the-grid life— searching for gold but not CARING about finding gold— and that’s why it’s given this sort romanticized focus in this bit. Perhaps. #Belgariad

We do also meet Vella, who here is used as an example of Nadrak women and the whole “women are property” thing, which the narrative bends over backwards to make an “it sounds bad but it’s really not” thing. But… side eye on that. #Belgariad

Vella right now is just a Nadrak woman, but she shows up extensively in The Malloreon as sort of the Ur-Nadrak Woman, which…. I don’t care for. It’s one of those things that makes a fantastical world smaller rather than larger. I’ll talk about that more later. #Belgariad

One thing that’s of note: Malloreans are now in Nadrak, press-ganging people into their army. Which seems like something the Nadrak officials might take issue with. But not really. #Belgariad

Silk and Garion get separated from Belgarath (for no reason other than “because plot!”) and they get captured by Malloreans and are marched to join the army. They aren’t REALLY worried, though. It’s just a question of when’s the best time to escape. #Belgariad

But before they do, Yarblek shows up with a horde of archers and takes out the Malloreans, but he’s not so much there to rescue Silk as he’s there to capture him. Silk is apparently wanted in Nadrak, but really just because King Drosta wants a word. #Belgariad

They are taken to King Drosta, but at a dive bar instead of the palace, because King Drosta likes to hide in the bar away from the Malloreans who have implanted themselves in his palace. Which ties into why he wants Silk. #Belgariad

Specifically, he wants the Malloreans off his back, so he wants to form an alliance with Drasnia and huge army the Alorns are assembling. Silk pretends he can’t help, but does give Drosta means to contact Porenn, thinking this is a legit thing. #Belgariad

Belgarath shows back up and is all, “We’re going now” and Drosta realizes that Garion is, well, Garion (Garion & Belgarath did some magic so no one would really notice him, the GIANT SWORD on his back, or the Orb). Drosta lets them go. #Belgariad

Because, for Drosta, if Garion kills Torak, that’s a complete win. Torak as the God of the Angaraks is more or less the only thing that keeps the Nadraks loosely aligned with the rest of the Angaraks. #Belgariad

So, done with all things Nadrak, it’s time for our heroes to head toward the land bridge to cross into Mallorea, which means going into Morindland.
OH THE MORINDIM.
Get out your luggage, because we need to unpack some stuff. #Belgariad

OK, to go into Morindland, Belgarath gives Garion some preparation. Which, that’s good, because it’s the first time he’s done that at all. But the things he tells Garion, oh my. #Belgariad

First of all, the Morindim are among the people who were not chosen by the Gods, and while there was only one Race of Man who wasn’t (THANKS ALDUR), they apparently split into different subgroups and wandered away from the rest of society. #Belgariad

Belgarath says this like they were *compelled* to wander away, as if having no god meant they couldn’t bear being near the other races of man. I’m not sure how that matches with Gorim’s group who became either Ulgo or Godless Ones. #Belgariad

Like, how were those Godless Ones different from the other godless ones who became the Morindim? (Or the Karands, Melcenes & Dals, which… whole other kettle of fish that we aren’t opening up just yet…) #Belgariad

Anyway, the Morindim are dark-skinned— explicit skin color mention!— and “Darker than the Tolnedrans or Nyissans”. So they’re dark-skinned? Literally the first mention of it. I was on the watch for that. Why did Eddings dodge that before? #Belgariad

Given that the Tolnedrans and Nyissans are both textually shown as morally corrupt (from the text's view) and are positioned in the neutral-to-enemy zone, there's a lot of issues with them being the darker-skinned races of the Western kingdoms. #Belgariad

So Belgarath whips up some ink and paints them all so they’ll look like they’re Morindim.
YES BLACKFACE IS THE PLAN.
Also they wear rabbits skins and fake tattoos to pass.
#Belgariad

But let’s be clear: the Morindim are textually savage, devil-worshiping primitives, and they’re the only ones who have explicitly textual dark skin.
This is so problematic, I’m not even sure what else needs to be said. But let’s dig into “devil-worhsipping”. #Belgariad

See, they worship demons because, well, rejected by the gods. With no gods, they turned to demons, and thus do magic— which in the rules of magic here, is explicitly about raising demons to do one’s bidding. #Belgariad

I mean, this does call into question Aldur's "goodness", doesn't it? Six gods choose six peoples, and the seventh god tells the seventh set of people "screw off, maybe worship LITERAL EVIL because I don't want you." #Belgariad

Belgarath goes a bit into the rules of magic here, that Vordai’s witchcraft is about getting benign spirits to do things, and this is getting devils. Sorcery is more… pure source-code of the universe. But where do the devils and benign spirts come from? #Belgariad

I feel like there’s some greater theological questions that this raises that Eddings either didn’t want to answer or wasn’t sure how. Like, how does hell and the demons there fit into the grander universe and UL and the seven gods? Not sure. #Belgariad

I do think there’s an interesting thing there that the two warring prophecies are specifically noted as “light” and “dark”, but not as “good” and “evil”, since in this world, the demons and hell are the true Evil beyond any feud of the Children of Light and Dark. #Belgariad

BUT THAT”S NOT WHAT WE GO INTO HERE.
Nah, instead we a demon fight where Belgarath raises a demon to fight the demon some other Morindim magician raises, because that guy wants a fight. #Belgariad

It’s a thing of Big Horrors Fight Each Other until the other magician realizes he made a mistake and his concentration slips and that means his demon is free and he loses.
It’s not clear what Morindim magicians do other than have Kaiju fights, though. #Belgariad

Oh, there was some faux tension building earlier because Beldin had shown up and said that Belgarath isn’t a good magician, but it turns out Belgarath is just fine at it, except in Beldin’s purist, perfectionist terms. #Belgariad

Beldin also relayed that twins spouted out a bit of prophecy, reciting part of the Mrin Codex that wasn’t transcribed well, saying that the Orb will heal Torak’s burnt face. Garion things that means he’ll lose. Beldin points out it doesn’t say that. #Belgariad

Beldin is also all, “This is what it says, and this is clearly what it means”, so he doesn’t seem to buy into the whole “It’s such obscure gibberish!” line of thought. Maybe because he’s not like Belgarath, who we’ve established, is not that smart. #Belgariad

ANYWAY, they get to the land bridge, which is a convenient series of rocks between the tips of the the two continents, and voila! They’re in Mallorea. Thus ends the Nadrak section. Next we get Mishrak ac Thull, aka the Ce’Nedra/War section. #Belgariad

Starting the Mishrak ac Thull section, all previously established rules of POV are OUT THE WINDOW. It’s neither Garion nor Ce’Nedra, but a melange of vignettes of different POVs. Eddings uses that for their “check in with everyone else” chapters. #Belgariad

First: Islena, Queen of Cherek! She can’t run the country because she is not that smart. Fortunately Merel is smart, and thus makes the real decisions. And the Bear-Cult is being a problem, so Merel says to write to Porenn. #Belgariad

Next: Layla, Queen of Sendaria, who has weaponized her persona of “flighty mother”, annoying the Tolnedran ambassador who wants to slip a shady deal past her by pretending to be too preoccupied and surrounded by children to pay attention to him. #Belgariad

In Nyissa, Sadi keeps having Murgo ambassadors poisoned so he doesn’t have to do anything definitive to break neutrality. Plus Salmissra, now a snake, apologizes for being terrible as a human being. #Belgariad

In Tolnedra, the Emperor is actually proud of Ce’Nedra for stealing his army. Officially, Tolnedra is doing nothing. Unofficially, he suggests General Varana and others take some leave and go on vacation to her army. If they want. #Belgariad

In Algaria, Silar is actually doing something! Namely, she takes care of her Bear-Cultists by being all, “Oh, we’re being selfish keeping you in the Stronghold. Go, bring the faith to the people. Like, NOW. GO.” #Belgariad

There is a bit of theme in these bits, here and later, of the queens solving problems the kings couldn’t, because they can get away with, “Oh, I wasn’t supposed to do that?” by virtue of not “knowing” the unspoken rules. #Belgariad

And last, in Drasnia, Porenn is briefed by Javelin, her chief of intelligence, on… pretty much the other events of this chapter. Plus Yarblek comes to see her with Silk’s code word. #Belgariad

Now to the front, where Ce’Nedra is done making speeches to rally people, and it’s on to the day-to-day of running the army as they march to the Eastern Escarpment. These are BORING DETAILS and Ce’Nedra DOES NOT WANT. #Belgariad

And it’s King Fulrach and Colonel Brendig who step of as the High Lords of Boring Details. They’re good at it, and they’re the only ones who really think of the practical things involved in marching an army, feeding and camping them, and so on. #Belgariad

Rhodar and the others are all, “But let’s just go FASTER” and Fulrach has to put them in line. I wish this was a commentary that their military acumen is entirely academic, that no one knows how to make war because they really never have. #Belgariad

It’s obvious that Rhodar and the others might be good at strategy in the abstract, but for them it’s like a chess game. They never thought about the “oh, the army needs to eat and sleep and piss somewhere every day” parts. #Belgariad

Ce’Nedra and her ladies (Arianna & Adara) go for a ride in the Algarian countryside and discover that the flower Garion made is now in full bloom. Ce’Nedra is a little jealous, but they do all like the flower’s smell. #Belgariad

Ce’Nedra calls it “Adara’s Rose” even though it’s not a rose at all, but who cares, and “Adara’s Forsythia” doesn’t quite have the same cadence. #Belgariad

Varana and his people show up, and Ce’Nedra introduces him to Rhodar and the other kings, and they all agree to the polite fiction that Varana is just an observer who might make suggestions, even if they may sound like orders. Maybe. #Belgariad

Beldin and the twins show up, and Polgara warns Ce’Nedra and the girls that They Are Not Prepared for Beldin. He comes in and swears up a storm, and most of the girls run, save Ce’Nedra, who grits her teeth and gives him some insult back. #Belgariad

And… Beldin is one of those things that just tires me on this re-read, in that he’s this over the top act of foulness and grossness. And, just… why. Especially when he’s “I’m going to say filthy things just because”. That really hasn’t aged well. #Belgariad

Also, his thing of, “why bother cooking the meat” is. It’s really trying WAY too hard, and goes beyond “interesting characterization” and into caricature. Which is ok, but Eddings is far more amused by it than I am. #Belgariad

As we continue with Ce’Nedra Goes To War in the #Belgariad, each chapter is a very deliberate stage of the war. The next chapter is largely concerned with the portage of the ships and the march of the army across Algaria to the eastern escarpment.

The ship portage is a long slow process of rolling ships, inch-by-inch on wooden rollers. So, naturally Durnik just walks up with a technological innovation the world has never seen before, of a wheeled ship-cozy. Plus Hettar goes, umm.. we have horses. #Belgariad

At first it’s just Barak and Greldik who try the new way— rolling on wheels, pulled by horse, and thus no work— and the fact that they don’t have to break their backs rolling the ships means everyone wants in. Anheg is annoyed, though. #Belgariad

To be fair, it’s presented less as Sudden Technological Innovation, and more of fighting stubborn tradition, with Anheg representing the stubborn traditionalists. He only does it that way because THAT’S HOW IT’S DONE. #Belgariad

Another check-in chapter, starting with Queen Mayaserrana in Arendia. She summons the Asturian lords to court by using her other title, the Duchess of Asturia, and they come to cite their grievances. Namely: their titles are not recognized. #Belgariad

Their titles aren’t recognized because they never sword fealty to the Arendish throne, but they say they can’t, because they still owe fealty to the Duchess of Asturia, and Mayaseranna is all DUDE I’M BOTH WHAT’S WITH THE TECHNICALITY. #Belgariad

And apparently all it will take is her releasing them of their multigenerational 500-year-old oath to the Duchess of Asturia and they then swear fealty to her as Queen of Arendia (and Korodullen as King of Arendia) and all will be fine. Stupid Arends. #Belgariad

Though, reading this bit this time has given me something of an epiphany. Namely, that so many of my worldbuilding issues that have come up this time around, including bits like this, can be rather neatly solved with one little change. #Belgariad

Namely, by making the war that ended with The Battle of Vo Mimbre be a part of recent history, just a generation ago, instead of 500 years ago. And, I think that JUST MAYBE that had been part of Eddings original intent. #Belgariad

Because it cleans up SO MUCH. Everyone knows Belgarath & Polgara because they were running around doing things in that war, like, 30 years ago. Anheg and Rhodar have military knowledge because THEY FOUGHT IN THAT WAR. Same with Tolnedran legions. #Belgariad

The legacy names of Brand and Korodullen & Mayaseranna don’t have to be legacy names, they’re the people from that past war. And this bit right here? The old Asturian lords would be talking about THEIR oaths, not the ones of their ancient ancestors. #Belgariad

Moving on in the check in: Ran Borune is following the war by having a giant map painted on the ground and moving figurines around on it. In other words, the old man is play with his toy soldiers. #Belgariad

Sadi goes to the Drasnian & Tolnedran Ambassadors and says, “We’re staying neutral. Unless you guys start to lose, in which case we’ll turn on you. YOU’RE WELCOME.” #Belgariad

Islena stands up to Grodeg of the Bear-Cult, in part because if she doesn’t, Merel will have him killed. So in her, “dude, I’m trying to save your life” annoyance, she tells him he and the cult are heading to the front or going to the dungeon. #Belgariad

And Porenn is briefed on all of this, and Yarblek comes to see her again. And it seems that the head of intelligence doesn’t actually know the “salmon run” pass phrase that Silk gave Yarblek. Which… is odd. #Belgariad

Next chapter is: now that they’ve made it to the escarpment, getting to the top of it. Engineers build big pulley systems to haul up ships and people, which Anheg doesn’t trust because that’s Anheg! #Belgariad

He finally relents when he asks Durnik, “Do you understand how this works?” and Durnik does and that’s good enough. So the ships and people start going up top, and then the Algars and Mimbrates start raiding the Thullish countryside. #Belgariad

Also, Ce’Nedra checks on the troops (with Lelldorin and Torasin), and makes sure Lammer and Detton are fed, and hangs out with Rundorig and Doroon. This is so we can have Meaningful Deaths later in the section. #Belgariad

As we reach time to formally move the command center to the top, Rhodar doesn’t want to ride up, so he walks up the steep trail with Ce’Nedra. This bit has way too many fat jokes. It’s all fat jokes. #Belgariad

So, the armies are coming up top, they’ve got a whole system of food delivery, they’re building battlements, and Thulls are just walking up and surrendering, sometimes waiting a whole day before someone comes to capture them. #Belgariad

The Thulls are apparently quite polite, and happily work at the camp, building walls and digging trenches for their invaders. Plus they’ll throw the Grolim spies off the cliff. But, a respectful distance away, so they don’t land on anyone below. #Belgariad

Polgara also tell Ce’nedra a bit about how awful-yet-nigh-irresistable Torak is, because: God. When he called to Polgara in Vo Mimbre to be his bride, a part of her REALLY wanted to go to him. Because: God. That’s pretty disturbing. #Belgariad

Now up top, Ce’Nedra is a bit bored with the day-to-day in the walled encampment. So she and Adara & Arianna sneak out (with Olban, youngest son of Brand the Rivan Warder, a detail they constantly remind us of) into the Thull countryside. #Belgariad

It goes poorly, as they ride out for a while with no water, Hettar finds them and scolds them, and as Adara runs off, a lone Murgo archer, like, pops up out of nowhere and shoots Adara. Spoiler: she’s gonna be fine. #Belgariad

But she thinks she’s gonna die and confesses her love for Hettar, and his reaction is mostly, “Huh. Never thought about that. Sounds neat.”
ROMANCE FOR THE AGES.
Everyone gets a heteronormative pairing!
#Belgariad

Polgara, at least, severely chides Ce’Nedra for going out into the war zone for a ride with her friends and nearly getting Adara killed. For once, Polgara is actually right. #Belgariad

Ce’Nedra Goes To War and The #Belgariad continues, as the army makes its march across Mishrak ac Thull to the Mardu River, and the prospect of real war starts to loom over Ce’Nedra’s head. Especially when a column of a thousand Murgos are spotted.

Everyone’s all, “Huh, that’s nothing, that’s weird.” and they send a contingent (made up of select members from each of the different nations and regiments, so everyone gets some pride) to squash that Murgo brigade. And squashed they are. #Belgariad

There’s a bit of the ladies greeting their men as they return, notably with Taiba and Relg, where they… actually hold hands. Though it’s given weight as a MOMENT for the two of them. And I had kind of forgotten about those two. #Belgariad

The army makes their portage around the rapids of the river and it’s just smooth sailing downriver the rest of the way for the ships, while everyone else marches without any trouble. Not an ounce of trouble, really. #Belgariad

So I’m wondering… this is the major river way in Mishrak ac Thull. Where are the other cities, or at least towns? It’s like there’s nothing and they’re marching through empty countryside until they get to Thull Mardu. #Belgariad

They stop JUST OUTSIDE Thull Mardu, just far enough to not be seen, which is… kind of silly, but OK. Then they strike at night, using the Ulgos and their night-vision to best advantage. They quickly and easily take the city, clearing the way for the ships to pass. #Belgariad

Also, Beldin shows up to tell Ce’Nedra that he knows, because of the prophecy (since he’s read it and isn’t all “It’s so vague!”) that she needs to stick close to Polgara, Durnik and Errand. Because: something will happen. But no idea what. #Belgariad

But, the sun rises and they realize: Oh no! A Murgo Army to the south! A Mallorean Army to the North! Everything has gone kind-of cock-eyed! They need to launch the ships now so they can get through to the ocean! #Belgariad

This is kind of fascinating for many reasons. One, that it’s a sort of perfect storm of the two Angarak armies reaching Thull Mardu at the same time, on the one day it would make it into a battle. The day before, the Alorns hadn’t taken the city. #Belgariad

And a day later, they would have already sent the ships through to the ocean and then withdrawn. So the perfect timing is perfect. #Belgariad

But I do call bullshit on the whole “how did we not see this coming?” because IT’S AN ARMY. There’s some handwaving about the army marching at night and hiding in Thull villages and Grolim Hierarchs hiding them from Beldin, but… IT’S AN ARMY. #Belgariad

I mean, I get Eddings wanted the Surprise Army Is A Surprise, but that’s a trope that NEEDS TO DIE. Because IT’S AN ARMY and why do I even. #Belgariad

Though here’s a thing: both armies have been marching through the night, and are still a ways away when seen. So they still have to close the distance to Thull Mardu, which Our Heroes have held right now. #Belgariad

So you’d think they would be “hold defensive positions to protect the ships, and sure, LET THE EXHAUSTED ARMIES COME TO US.” But that gets glossed over, which is odd given how much Eddings goes on about carefully not exhausting the troops. #Belgariad

Also, Varana has a bit about how the column of 1000 Murgos was bait that let Taur Urgas know was their intentions were, and they should have ignored it so he would have known that they were just a diversion, and… I don’t think that really tracks. #Belgariad

Like, it was bait, but mostly to get a sense of what they were bringing. It’s not like if they went, “Let’s not mess with those 1000 Murgos” that Taur Urgas would have gone, “Oh, never mind, that Alorn/Arend/Tolnedran army isn’t worth worrying about.” #Belgariad

So everyone scurries to get into position to hold off the two armies, so they can’t get their siege engines in place to take out the Cherek Warships before they can get downriver. The plan is basically hold off long enough for the ships to get out. #Belgariad

The battle starts. Also, Grolims are making a storm, and then also make a fog, which Polgara and Beldin need to do counter-magic them do dispel it. Plus, we get our first meaningful casualty: Rundorig comes to report that Doroon is dead. #Belgariad

Polgara mourns, and Ce’Nedra LOSES HER SHIT COMPLETELY. Doroon wasn’t even killed in battle, so much as fell in the river in the chaos and drowned. But Ce’Nedra orders Olban to go out there AND KILL THEM ALL. #Belgariad

But Polgara and Beldin raise up a wind to counter the fog, which is a huge thing and puts Polgara down for the count. When Ce’Nedra is all “It’s just wind” Beldin yells at her about what air weighs. #Belgariad

We get a jump-through-POVs chapter in the battle. Lelldorin in the fog, until the fog clears and his archers shoot at the Malloreans, who respond with catapult rocks. Torasin is killed. We are 2-for-2 on “deaths set up by Ce’Nedra’s camp tour”. #Belgariad

On the Cherek ships, they’re… a bit too relaxed as they sail downriver, catapulting coals and fire at the Malloreans. And Anheg admits his whole “Ce’Nedra can’t lead!” thing was so Brand wouldn’t have any space to complain himself. #Belgariad

Arianna is in field-hospital mode, where Lelldorin bring dead Torasin. She can’t help. Also Lammer brings dead Detton, in possibly the most moving bit. Detton’s last words, “At least I had a good breakfast.” #Belgariad

Arianna, straight up crying now, puts Lammer to work in her field hospital, telling him he can do more good helping in there then back out there on the battlefield. Detton makes 3 for 3 of Deaths From Ce’Nedra’s Tour. #Belgariad

And now four-for-four: Some random Mallorean finds the brain-damaged-flute-kid, who’s just playing the flute far from the battle, and just kills him. Just kills a kid playing the flute. Narration tells us, definitively, the he was playing The Most Beautiful Song Ever. #Belgariad

Algars and Mimbrates tear through the Murgos. Then there’s a one-on-one between Cho-Hag and Taur Urgas which… feels like the climax of a different book. Like, the enmity between the two is not well established. #Belgariad

This is another bit that would have been improved if World War Torak had been twenty years ago instead of five hundred. A young Prince Taur Urgas might have gone mad in his eight-year siege on the Stronghold, humiliated by Prince Cho-hag. #Belgariad

Anyway, Taur Urgas is killed by Cho-hag. Then back at the Hospital Tent, Brand and his sons bring in a dying Olban. And Olban, dying, decides he needs to confess about trying-to-kill-Garion. Brand and the others just shut him out COLD. #Belgariad

Like, the boy is minutes from death, and Brand and the other sons just walk away. It is HARSH. Also harsh, Colonel Brendig is brought in with a smashed arm. Arianna is all “We have to amputate”, and Brendig, LIKE A BOSS, is all, “Yeah, get on that.” #Belgariad

Anheg puts up the green smoke signal that the ships are clear, which means it’s time for the army to clear out. Unfortunately, on the north bank, the Malloreans have maneuvered around to block their retreat. Rhodar and Varana come up with a plan to smash through. #Belgariad

However, a hole opens up as the Nadraks (who were part of that wall of Malloreans) both attack the Malloreans and let the Alorn Alliance through. Drosta shows up saying, “Rhodar! I’m switching sides!” Rhodar is skeptical, but still: escape route. #Belgariad

Ce’Nedra is freaking out because Pol is out cold. She contacts Belgarath via her amulet, who tells her how to wake Polgara up using the stuff she keeps in her medicine bag. Ce’Nedra gets to work, despite Durnik’s confusion. #Belgariad

Polgara wakes up, but while Durnik’s attention is on her, some Sendarian soldiers come in the tent who, SURPRISE, are not Sendarian, but Mallorean. They capture the four of them (Ce’Nedra, Polgara, Durnik & Errand) to bring to ‘Zakath. #Belgariad

I really wonder if Eddings put the apostrophe in ‘Zakath thinking it looked neat, and then grew tired of it, but was stuck with it until they gave themselves the excuse to get rid of it in the Malloreon. Because: it’s pretty dumb. #Belgariad

They’re taken to the Emperor of Mallorea, who is polite, civilized and kind of terrifying. He makes sure the still-dazed Polgara is cared for, and he’s the soul of courtesy. That is, until Gethel, the King of the Thulls is brought in. #Belgariad

I wonder if this scene is just for completeness’s sake, so we meet all of the kings of all the kingdoms. Anyhow, ‘Zakath, calm as anything berates Gethel for the Thulls breaking ranks when the Mimbrate Knights charged, and then orders him flogged. #Belgariad

There’s also something about how ‘Zakath totally would have had Gethel crucified, but there’s just no good wood handy to do it with, so it’ll just be the flogging. This is all done in front of Ce’Nedra, who is suitably horrified. #Belgariad

I do want to point out that we met all the Angarak kings, but no queens. In fact, the only notable— by which I mean named— female Angarak is Vella, who is just a one-off bit in the Nadrak section. #Belgariad

Ce’Nedra asks ‘Zakath why he’s abducted them, and it’s specifically on request of Torak (or at least Zedar), and it to send them to Cthol Mishrak. And with that, we finish the Mishrak ac Thull section. On to the finale in Mallorea! #Belgariad

We move onto the Big Climax of The #Belgariad with the Mallorea section, which starts with staying on Ce’Nedra’s side of things, and her experience as the gilded prisoner of Emperor ‘Zakath of Mallorea. Which is a creepy one.

Because ‘Zakath is that guy who doesn’t sleep and just wants to chat at, like, 3am like it’s no big, and that’s exactly what he does to Ce’Nedra. The narrative glides past the creepy aspect of a 30ish guy calling a teenage girl in the middle of the night just to talk. #Belgariad

He wants to know stuff like, where did Rhodar get his great military acumen? And I question the narrative telling me that Rhodar showed great acumen. If anything, it shows he would have failed were it not for Fulrach just rocking the logistics. #Belgariad

After a few days of them being his prisoner, the real plan comes out, as the Chereks are shredding the Mallorean transport ships in the Sea of the East. ‘Zakath is all, “Why are you attacking my ships?” and decides he can’t dally about any more. #Belgariad

So Ce’Nedra, Polgara, Durnik and Errand are handed over to the Mallorean Grolims to be transported to Cthol Mishrak, which is about as pleasant as they could hope the whole thing to be. #Belgariad

At first the captain of the ship taking them is uninterested in sailing in Cherek-infested waters, so the Grolims are all, “Well, then, let’s sacrifice sailors until you comply.” Ce’Nedra and the rest find this gross, but the ship sails. #Belgariad

Once in Mallorea, they’re handed over to a Grolim High Priests, who (relatively politely) escorts them the rest of the way to Cthol Mishrak. There is a lot of Grolim deference to Polgara, explicitly, since to them, she’s Torak’s Bride-to-be. #Belgariad

They get brought to Zedar, former Disciple of Aldur and current Disciple of Torak, who’s hanging out in the basement with Torak’s sleeping body. As you do. He “rewards” the Grolim high priest by letting him look at Torak, which freaks the guy out. #Belgariad

I mean, that’s kind of strange. Like, Torak’s half-burnt face is probably pretty gnarly, but… you know you’re serving the wrong god if LOOKING AT HIM makes you lose your shit and gibber in fear. I’m just saying. #Belgariad

We cut to Garion, making his way across the ugly parts of northwestern Mallorea, all the while he’s got Torak whispering lies and promises in his head. Torak’s working his psych-out game, but that clues Garion in as to just how worried Torak is. #Belgariad

Because, like, if you’re already A GOD and you’re trying to cajole your enemy into giving up before the fight, you’re showing your hand pretty strong that you’re flat out terrified of the fight. And Garion picks up on that and shouts it back at Torak. #Belgariad

Belgarath is all WTF WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? Garion points out that Torak knows they’re coming, and Belgarath counterpoints that they still have to slip past the Grolims and other things in Cthol Mishrak to get to Torak. #Belgariad

And… yeah, they do, but that part is largely, again, marking time and not interesting. So they get through the city and to the tomb where Torak is sleeping. And spend FOREVER outside the door listening to Polgara and Zedar arguing. #Belgariad

It’s more “philosophical debate” than arguement, but it’s largely about prophecy, destiny, and how Zedar was always supposed to betray them and join Torak. There’s also the point that Zedar was utterly bent by Torak’s will. #Belgariad

Like, he went to Torak with a plan of tricking him, but Torak dominated him with his will and made him entirely Torak’s willing disciple. But he’s also aware that he’s been broken, and there is something deeply tragic to that. #Belgariad

Belgarath also notes it’s good that everyone is there: Polgara, Ce’Nedra, Errand and Durnik, because they’re all SUPPOSED to be there, because important things need to happen, but he doesn’t know what. And yet… I’m kind of annoyed by this. One sec. #Belgariad

Because first, Durnik apparently MAKES HIS MOVE and tries to kill Zedar, but Zedar instead kills him, and that’s where Belgarath decides it’s time for he, Garion and Silk to burst in, and find Zedar over Durnik’s dead body. #Belgariad

And Polgara’s screaming, Zedar’s all, “Why did you make me do that? That was THE ONE THING I didn’t want to do” (that’s important), and Belgarath is in full RAGE MODE over this. Garion and Silk are more just stunned. #Belgariad

And this is the thing that kind of annoys me about this bit of the narrative, in that it wants Belgarath and Polgara to be both aware of The Things That Need To Happen, but ALSO shocked and in full emotional reaction to what’s happened. And that’s kind of bunk. #Belgariad

Like, if ALL THIS TIME, Belgarath knew that those four ALSO needed to be there for this, then what was the whole subterfuge of “I guess just the three of us slip out” and all that. He and Pol both knew the paths Garion & Ce’Nedra had to take, right? #Belgariad

So how much of, say, Polgara’s rage back in Riva was just theatre to get Ce’Nedra to take action? Why didn’t the seven of them sneak through together and avoid the thousands of lives put at risk from the war? #Belgariad

I mean, honestly, nothing we’re shown leads me to believe that Ce’Nedra’s War made things any easier or harder from Garion and the others to get to Mallorea. It gave this books some stakes and engagement, but it feels like the chess game of prophecy. #Belgariad

More to the point, it’s clear for all their “oh, the prophecy is so obscure”, Belgarath and Polgara know exactly how the chess match is going to play out, but also put on the show that each move is a surprise. #Belgariad

But here's the other thing: it's clear that Zedar also knows these things. He knows flat out that if he kills Durnik, that sets off the dominoes for his defeat. But he does it anyway, despite likely being able to just disable the man. #Belgariad

Though I do like the raw fight between Belgarath and Zedar, that’s just as much two old men brawling as it is sorcery, and ends when the ground cracks beneath them and go down, and then Belgarath comes back up, victorious. #Belgariad

Like, it’s one of the most cinematic moments in the series, where we no longer see the impish rogue or charming storyteller, but the pure and unfiltered BELGARATH THE SORCERER, most powerful man in the world. #Belgariad

While Garion stands dazed watching Torak get up from his crypt, Belgarath and Polgara spend WAY TOO LONG just arguing about her wanting her to kill Zedar herself, and Belgarath telling her, “naw, he’s down there, alive, forever”. #Belgariad

But, again, it’s like they know the script and know they have a few minutes before the Big Fight starts. #Belgariad

Torak gets up, and Belgarath makes his own run at him, and like a punk, gets thrown around like a rag doll. Then Torak turns his attention on Polgara, all “come to me my bride”. And she’s finding her resolve crumbling. #Belgariad

But Garion shoves images of Durnik into Polgara’s head, and her love for Durnik and rage over his death combine into PURE GOD-DEFYING FUEL. That gives her the strength she needs to not run to Torak. Torak brings his sword down on her head. #Belgariad

And that’s when Garion finally steps in with the block, Sword of the Rivan King aflame with the power of the Orb of Aldur.
It’s another suitably cinematic moment. #Belgariad

There’s a bit I rather like, about Torak’s burnt and eye, how as an immortal god, he can’t heal, because he was never supposed to be injured. So he’s eternally in that same moment of pure agony from being burned. Which drove him mad. #Belgariad

Both Garion and Torak grow to GIANT SIZED, because this finale is going to go full Power Rangers on us, and they go toe-to-toe, enormous, in the city. But this isn’t really about the sword fighting. That’s made pretty clear. #Belgariad

After Torak makes a few more overtures of “Hey, let’s just let me win, and I’ll be awesome”, but Garion does not play. Instead he fights To The Pain, letting Torak know that he is alone, hated and feared, and no one in the world loves him. #Belgariad

That’s some hard-cutting truth for Torak, and he cries out, letting Garion just stab him in the chest. And that does it. Torak cries out for his mother and dies, and the universe briefly goes dark.
Then the eternal cloud over Cthol Mishrak fades, and the stars shine. #Belgariad

Garion becomes normal sized again, as Polgara still mourns over dead Durnik, but everyone else is more or less intact. Then UL and the other gods show up, Aldur calling UL “Father”, and they mourn the death of their mad, evil brother. #Belgariad

Errand goes up to UL, literally pulling on his robe, and points to Durnik. “Errand!” UL does not go, “Why is this kid pulling on my robe?” Instead he acts like Errand has laid a serious burden on him— to resurrect Durnik— which neither him or the other gods should do. #Belgariad

Note that it’s not that they can’t, but that they shouldn’t be allowed to cross that line. But there is the idea that Garion could do it, and thus the Gods themselves wouldn’t have crossed the line. #Belgariad

Before they start, Aldur presses on Polgara why they should resurrect Durnik, and she says to be her husband. Which… it doesn’t come out of nowhere, but it is abrupt. We can all presume that Durnik, were he alive, would be down with that. #Belgariad

Aldur points out that a marriage between unequals doesn’t work, and asks if she’d be willing to give up her power to marry him. She’s immediately, “Yeah, definitely. I’m in.” So Aldur is all for Garion resurrecting Durnik. #Belgariad

But Mara is not. He’s very much against it, since his people were all killed. Belgarath mentions Taiba, and Mara has the GALL to say, “I’d know if any of my children were alive”. No, Mara. You suck. But he realizes he can’t repopulate Maragor with just her. #Belgariad

Relg and his connection to Taiba is mentioned (in a rather condescending way, that she is “under his care” or some bullshit like that). Silk, being Silk, brings up that Relg is terrified of having sex with Taiba, which Mara sees as a problem. #Belgariad

UL basically says, “I’ll straighten him out”, since fatherhood is his destiny, and that Relg and Taiba can repopulate Maragor, with an exception he’ll go over with Mara later. Mara’s onboard, so with no objections, Garion resurrects Durnik. #Belgariad

Sidebar: this bit is fundamentally Why Taiba Is Important, and she not only has no agency in this bit, she's LITERALLY not even present for it. She is a bartering chip between the gods. #Belgariad

Garion basically does what he did with the horse, but bigger and with more power, with the Orb and the Gods helping him out. Durnik’s alive again— thus the Man With Two Lives, which… the prophecy again undercuts any drama. #Belgariad

The main character who died-- the big "powerful" death-- is the one person we’ve explicitly been told would live twice, so… it’s not like it’s a shock or a mystery what’s going to happen. #Belgariad

For one last thing, Errand takes the Orb and puts it on Torak’s body, which restores his beautiful face. So the gods take his body away, and are gone. #Belgariad

All that remains is epilogue. And it’s a fair amount of epilogue, so we’ll get to it tomorrow. #Belgariad

The final, epilogue section of The #Belgariad is The Isle of the Winds, which is just so we don’t have to name it Riva Redux. Riva is the only nation with this secondary name, and here we get exactly why: so we can go back in the end.

The epilogue employs a bad dreams/memories device so that it can focus on Garion and Ce’Nedra’s Wedding Day, while still giving some background on what happened on the way back home after defeating Torak. #Belgariad

For example: Everyone was picked up in Mallorea by Barak’s ship, because Barak TURNED INTO A BEAR and forced them to row toward the Mallorean coast. Which is helpful in terms of needing a ride home. #Belgariad

Here, Polgara gives one last, “Oh, I didn’t mention it?” thing, pointing out that Barak was Garion’s designated protector, and he would react instinctively whenever Garion’s life was in danger, shape-changing and homing in on Garion. #Belgariad

Barak is all, “so I’m a sorcerer?” and Belgarath responds with a, “No, oh definitely no, no no no” that this time around strikes me as kind of condescending. It also makes Barak’s lifelong trauma into him being a tool of the prophecy. #Belgariad

I feel like this is a thing that Polgara could have quietly told Barak earlier and eased his mind about. Plus… it hasn’t been a thing since Book Two. There was no need to keep that card held until now to reveal it. #Belgariad

Anyhow, today is the wedding day, and Garion goes to see his aunt, who is also getting married to Durnik on the same day, in a quiet morning ceremony, for… reasons. The reason being so this chapter can have All The Things while still being one day. #Belgariad

He’s worried about Polgara feeling “ordinary” in sacrificing her magic for Durnik, but she’s fine with it. At least that’s what she says. Then Garion goes to see Lelldorin for last-minute dancing lessons. Because: he’s got to dance. #Belgariad

Lelldorin and Arianna have gone from marriage-of-convenience to actual marriage, in that she just plain moved in with him. This is one of the many, many pairings we get piled up in this section. Let’s ring them out, shall we? #Belgariad

Lelldorin & Arianna: YOU GET A HETERONORMATIVE PAIRING!
Hettar & Adara: YOU GET A HETERONORMATIVE PAIRING!
Relg & Taiba: YOU GET A HETERONORMATIVE PAIRING!
Durnik & Polgara: YOU GET A HETERONORMATIVE PAIRING!
Garion & Ce’Nedra: YOU GET A HETERONORMATIVE PAIRING!
#Belgariad

Barak already had one, as did Belgarath, and Mandorallen kind of has his Tragic Threesome (which gets some face time her, as Nerina comes to the wedding but her husband stays home, sick.) #Belgariad

Silk does not get a heteronormative pairing, instead he gets a Platonic Life Partner with Yarblek. Which… I wonder how much at this point Eddings had the Malloreon planned. Because there seems to be some groundwork laid here for it. #Belgariad

For example, Garion explicitly asks Belgarath at one point who Errand is, and it’s kind of a “maybe just some kid, maybe something else, I don’t know”. It’s clear at this point, Eddings was basically interested in writing more in this world. #Belgariad

Another bit: ‘Zakath is waging war against Cthol Murgos, and Urgit is the knew king of the Murgos. Garion acknowledges that’s a situation that will end up on his doorstep someday. But ‘Zakath, ever civilized, did send a wedding present. #Belgariad

Next up is Polgara & Durnik’s wedding, which is a simple affair in a small chapel (to… Belar?), officiated by Beldin because, why not. He’s actually cleaned and dressed for this, which shows how much “Beldin” is an act, and an annoying one. #Belgariad

Ce’Nedra sneaks in with a cloak and hood so Garion can’t see her. Apparently, not seeing the bride before the wedding is a Tolnedran custom. Eh, I’ll give you that one, Eddings. I don’t like it, but at least you hung a lampshade on it. #Belgariad

After they’re married, Belgarath and Durnik have a surprise, in that he’s made Pol a rose out of steel. And then he makes that into an actual rose. Because: surprise! He’s a sorcerer now! And Polgara still is as well. #Belgariad

Polgara is mad and at a loss for words that Belgarath knew she still had power and kept it from her. He thinks it was worth it to have this moment where she’s sputtering incoherently. He also tells her that you really can’t take away that power once it exists. #Belgariad

She’s all, “But our master said…” and Belgarath points out that Aldur only asked if she was *willing* to lose her power, he didn’t actually says that she would. Which feels like a genie trick rather than a god’s line, but OK. #Belgariad

All right, real wedding: EVERYONE is there, and we get told what color every king is wearing, which feels like a thing I should note the symbolism of (Drosta is in yellow, for example), but, I’m just not gonna. Oh, and Gorim is presiding over this wedding. #Belgariad

This is because the revelation that UL is the father of the gods has rocked all the theological circles, and therefore Gorim is the holiest of holies. (Also, the mother of the gods is the universe itself, thus it went dark to mourn Torak’s death.) #Belgariad

I’ve got some issues with UL being, well, an active, personified god as the “father” and the universe-- voiceless, formless and birthing things without will-- as the “mother”. Plus it raises questions about where the Voice of the Prophecy came from. UL’s second cousin? #Belgariad

ANYWAY: Wedding. It’s a wedding. Garion says stuff. Ce’Nedra says stuff. Kissing. And no ceremonial, perfunctory kiss, either. Ce’Nedra mauls him. The girl likes her some kissing, let me tell you. #Belgariad

Then reception, feast, dancing, etc. The dancing is marvelous. The food is perfection. Guess which King keeps eating more of it.
Guess.
GUESS.

Yes, it’s Rhodar because he’s fat!
Sigh.
#Belgariad

Garion and Ce’Nedra are happy and really love each other (as do all our Heteronormative Pairings), but Garion does feel a certain pang of his predestined lack-of-free-will. But we won’t dwell. #Belgariad

He has a final dance with Aunt Pol, who he actually calls Polgara for the first time, and Ce’Nedra dances with Belgarath, and the two sorcerers acknowledge that they did a good job saving the universe. #Belgariad

With the palace dark and most people asleep, Belgarath wanders around drunk until he finds the Orb. He talks to it a bit, but feels the Orb is not really paying attention. But, he acknowledges, it may be powerful and alive, but it is also still a stone. #Belgariad

Until Belgarath realizes that the Orb is really paying attention to Garion and Ce’Nedra having sex, so… that’s the note we end on. Which is a pretty strange little coda, but there you have it. That’s the #Belgariad for you.

Honestly, I will say that while parts of this re-read annoyed and frustrated me, and OH YES this put the problematic in Your Problematic Fave, on the whole? It held up. That may have been coasting on nostalgia, but I did enjoy the Visiting Old Friends part. #Belgariad

I think I will also re-read The Malloreon and cover it here as well, though perhaps not QUITE as extensively. And not right away. But relatively soon. #Belgariad

Doing this re-read has been a useful exercise, eye-opening about elements that I missed in my youth. I’ve enjoyed sharing it with all of you. Please share, comment and enjoy. #Belgariad

And if you have enjoyed my ramblings here, you might enjoy the books of the Maradaine Saga, my series currently in progress, which hopefully someone will lovingly cover in the 2040s. Despite all its flaws. (amazon.com/Marshall-Ryan-…