Thread by @medicalaxioms

I know I shouldn’t do it and it’s unkind to take advantage of another person’s weakness but when I come across a short-tempered person who is quick to anger I sometimes make them angry on purpose. Then I make them come, sit, lie down, and roll over. It’s just so easy.

When I was younger and (more of a) hothead people did this to me. I never understood the irony that my anger I used to gain power and control actually made me very easy to manipulate.

The light went on when I realized my anger was a response to being hurt.

One of my shrinks suggested I “stop at hurt.” Just pause right there without releasing the adrenaline and preparing to hurt back. It’s not easy. Takes practice.

Now I see the initial hurt is always less then the self destructive rush of anger.

I understand that people love their anger. It’s feels like having a mean dog at your side to protect you! It makes people scared of you.

Having given most of mine up, I can tell you I don’t miss it. Caused more harm than good. Hurt me as much as I hurt other people with it.

I prefer to have my emotions instead of letting them have me. I prefer choosing my responses to my feelings instead of apologizing for them after witnessing their cruelty.

I sometimes suggest people abandon their anger. It usually makes them mad.

I hear people say, “If I stop being angry, bad people will run amok and ruin everything!” Here’s the truth. Nobody cares about your opinion when you’re angry at them. They dismiss it. Anger is utterly unconvincing. Are you convinced by the screaming of your enemies?

I used to think my fury was keeping the world in line. Turns out it did nothing. Except harm me, of course.

When I want to change something I have to make something. Build something. Listen. Understand. Connect. Create. The angry mind can’t do any of these things.

I’ve never been hated into a mindset of loving. I’ve never become suddenly compassionate as a result of being screamed at. Noticing my own responses to other people’s anger has helped me learn how useless it is as a tool to change someone’s mind.

Anger is fun, thrilling, empowering, and useless.

I’m not here to tell you how to live. If anger works for you, keep working it.

One angry voice can turn a peaceful room into an angry crowd. If that what you think we need more of, have at it. I choose not to participate. I don’t see how that helps.

There are a lot of things like this that don’t make sense to me:
- pouring out anger to make people less angry
- killing people so they stop killing people
- treating my enemies as they have treated me in order to make them my friends

Complete nonsense. I don’t get any of it.