The first rule of debate is to demonstrate that you understood your interlocutor's argument and positions before responding to said interlocutor. That's also the minimum respect you need to offer your interlocutor. Unfortunately, very often, we're not even at that minimum level.
I really don't mind if someone tears my argument to shreds, so long they actually understand it. That way, at least, I can learn. I'd also feel understood, at minimum. But having a debate when you know you're being misrepresented is both frustrating and a missed opportunity.
We don't have to all agree. What a boring world this would be if we all have the same perspective. But we can at least strive to understand first before responding, and to consider the other's opinion at its strongest, rather than erect strawmen.
