@simonbucknall So, my starting point would be that generalising by groups can be very unhelpful (I’ll try and explain why in the thread) and I think all the best people I’ve ever worked with were definitely the ones most able to communicate in different ways for different purposes/groups
@simonbucknall Women are often seen or described as being more diffident, lacking confidence etc, men more assertive but I am aware of recent studies (I’ll try and dig them up) which says lots of this is myth and I’d about how people are listened to rather than how they speak
@simonbucknall For example, there is a well observed proven phenomenon which I have definitely seen first hand that when men repeat something women have said they are taken more seriously. Are women “speaking wrong” or is it that unconscious expectations make us listen differently?
@simonbucknall There are also definitely different perceptions of behaviours by men and women which condition expectations and responses. Where men are passionate, women are emotional, where men are emotional, women are hysterical, where men are assertive, women are strident. Backed by research
@simonbucknall For decades women have been advised essentially to be “more like men” in the workplace, meaning talk less diffidently, don’t apologise or caveat what you’re going to say, be more confident but this doesn’t fit my experience (and increasingly not backed by research)
@simonbucknall I have worked with some v confident men and women. Some were v out there, others quieter or more introverted. But it wasn’t this that made the best communicators I ever worked with, it was listening skills & understanding the situation and people around they’re communicating to
@simonbucknall So I’d be cautious about “men are from Mars” generalisations because they can lead to women being told not to be things that in fact they often are not if objectively observed (eg apologetic, diffident) or to do things (eg more assertive) which are often equally poorly received
@simonbucknall The best communicator I worked with was someone who every time you spoke to them, you felt they had your full attention, when they spoke to a room, you knew it was for that room only...
@simonbucknall ...they stumbled sometimes, weren’t always smoothest speakers but they were confident enough to be themselves but most importantly to give others space to be themselves too. I was going to write about the worst but think that might be more therapy than Twitter!
@simonbucknall I’ll stop there and won’t clog up timeline any more but if I get a chance this week I’ll try and look up some of that research for you. I think you’ll find it interesting. Fx
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