Thread by @JuliusGoat

"A drill is the worst tool for putting large holes into the bottom of this lifeboat," murmured the puckish capitalist—adding, after a pregnant pause:

"... except for all the others."

In the stern, the drillers all gave wry and knowing chuckles.

"You shouldn't drill a hole in the lifeboat," a young woman said. "We'll all drown."

"This is my part of the boat," the nearest driller scolded. "I can do what I want."

"The water will come into the boat," her child protested.

"It's MY water," the driller sniffed. "It's under MY part of the boat."

"But will flood the whole boat," her husband argued. "We should all decide if you drill."

"This is dangerous talk," the driller said. "Dangerous."

"Give me that drill!" the woman shouted, rushing forward.

The driller shot her.

"I had no choice," he said. "You saw her—she was going to steal my part of the boat."

The other drillers all agreed. "Tragic," they said. "How was she radicalized?"

"Excuse me," said an old woman, "But I'm a professor of physics, and I'm quite certain that if you drill holes in this lifeboat, it will sink."

"If it will sink," the drillers scoffed, "how do you account for the fact that we're floating?"

"We're floating because it is not yet too late," the professor said. "But soon it will be."

"Oh you've been saying that since we started drilling," the drillers laughed. "And look—we're still floating."

When the water was past their shoes, the professor spoke: "We need to set some people to bailing, others to plugging holes. But by all means we must stop drilling."

"We agree the boat is sinking," the drillers said. "But too late now. Nothing left but to drill while we can."

A young man sat in the very middle of the boat, a beatific expression on his face. He seemed about to speak. The boat hushed, expectant.

"If we take the drills away from the drillers, aren't we just as bad as them?" he asked.

Smiling, the young man closed his eyes.